The Sickness
by UndergroundValentine
Summary: Tommy's moved out to Los Angeles to making something for himself when he meets Adam in a club, and he tries to think nothing of the glam-singer's pale, cold skin and silky charm. Warning: Sexual content, violence, language, crude humor. Adommy
1. Delicate Whims

Something kinda-sorta new. New for me. :D Enjoy!

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Saturday night, 11:12 PM

There would have been reassurance and warmth in his being if he wasn't so preoccupied with how rotten she tasted. Normally, whore flesh and blood was nothing, just a little snack to drink in and get over with, to satisfy the cravings for another few days. Something of which he was used to at this point in his glam-rock life. But this particular woman— with her luscious bleached curls, double-D breasts and salon-tan glow— just did not please him in the slightest. The burn of hunger had been nabbing at his nerves for the past four days, and he assumed as always that she'd be suitable enough to get by. That she'd take just enough of that edge off of him to get him by until he could find a more substantial and _healthy_ meal.

How wrong he'd been.

He grimaced, placing the nail of his thumb to her throat, sliding it delicately along over skin, and over the holes. Barely any blood left to trickle out. He smiled slightly, and slowly dropped her to the floor; her pale, lifeless body landed with a dull thump that, even with his hearing, was barely audible over the music. He reclined against the back of the sofa, his head pounding with her alcoholic blood. He sighed, glancing down at her again. No one would find her for several hours, or maybe even days— the staff of the club didn't clean after such events as this, and anyone who _would_ find her would just assume that she drank herself to death or got into a rough spot with a pimp. She'd be tossed into a dumpster or a lowly grave at best. That is, if no one had a fetish for necrophilia.

A breath escaped his lips as his eyes slid shut from the world around him. The headache from lack of necessities was dwindling, but all the same, the deathly taste of her blood made his stomach churn. He'd need something fresher, something cleaner… Something to ease the discomfort that he would be feeling soon. Why did he have to blindly attack to subside his outrageous hunger? He could have held onto patience and found a more suitable taste to dip his fingers into. Instead, he found rubber meat and moldy wine. He chuckled despite the burning in the back of his throat. Wine was one way to put it.

The atmosphere was thick with sweat and alcohol, a haze of marijuana drifting into the air, poisoning those within the building. Even as the drug slid between his teeth and nostrils, his senses were not affected. He could bathe in smoldering leaves and would never once find himself floating. He only floated on blood, and such sweet blood had not found its way to his tongue in years. Such the realization made him sourly depressed. He'd only been feeding to get by, where once he'd fed to enjoy the delight. How long ago had that been, exactly? Two years, two and a half? Three and a half? No… It wasn't that long ago, surely…

He opened his eyes as a figure blocked the little light from his lids. A curvaceous woman stood over him— had she not seen the body? His eyes wavered from the details in her flesh to the flow of her black hair, contrasting her ivory skin. A black corset clung to her frame, puffing out her breasts as if they were squished balloons. Her hips were wide and sexy, her legs long and lean, covered by a black mini skirt. Knowledge was alight in her eyes that confirmed his thoughts. She had seen, though she didn't care. She thought the girl was passed out. It was too dark to see the paleness of the black woman's face though, or the clean-cut holes covered by a slash in the side of her neck and on her blood-stained breasts. His fingers twitched, his eyes itching for a moment. If this white woman happened to pay close enough attention, he didn't want her to see his crimson eyes.

"Well, hey there sexy… I saw you all alone up here, and I thought you could use some company. Didn't realize you'd already had fun though— but don't worry, I can make up for what she lacked and more." She said in a cool voice of honey. He smiled as she slid over him, her knees tucked against his hips, he ass, plump and soft, resting on his lap. His lips curved into a smirk as he stared up into her lined eyes. The black was smudged too thick, the foundation was the wrong shade, the shadow was too bright, the lipstick too glittery. Her hair was too long for the gel she used to try to give it body, the darkness of it made her look dead. He fought a grimace as her pale fingers trailed down his face, warm to his skin and feathery. But the grooves of her flesh, despite the lotion she'd obviously used, were rigid with age. She was older than she appeared. The exhaustion pulled at the edges of her eyes, years of frowns and sadness curling her lips.

Only her body looked young. Her breasts were the right size, the right lift to her arched back. Her legs were firm with muscle, toned and glowing— she was a sprinter. A sprinter who'd taken a year off from competition but ran on a daily basis. This tore the grimace from his subconscious. She was better than the whore lying face up on the padded floor. He could tell by the vitality in her body, the pulsing flow of her blood in her veins as his thumb traced circles into her thigh that she was better. She trembled as he touched her, no doubt from the iciness of his skin. But she appeared to be enjoying it far too much to be afraid by it. But there may have bee a slight trace of fear… There always was… No, he could feel how her heart raced that she enjoyed this.

"So…" She started, slightly breathless. "What'll it be tonight, baby?" She had a smile that would have won millions of men over. She was experienced; with a smile like that, how could she not be? A fire lit in his eyes as he reached up to the first of twenty, small clasps on the corset. His fingers pinched the fabric together, and the hook came free. She smirked down at him, rolling her hips into his, and he faked a perfect moan. The sexual drive only came when he tasted them, and he hadn't sampled her yet to satisfy what her ears craved. But he was a performer, an entertainer. He had mastered the art of faking it.

He had unclasped three before his icy fingers looped into the opening, and he pulled, popping the hooks and ruining the corset. She shuddered, startled at the force, but he leaned forward, catching one of her exposed nipples between his lips. No teeth. Not yet. That would come later, when he was tired of her. His tongue trailed over the sensitive, perked skin, and she bucked herself closer to him, her fingers raking through his hair. His palms were placed gently upon her thighs, his hips rolling up into hers. Her heart was pounding against his face through her skin, and he was half tempted just to have her now and find more suitable enjoyment. Enjoyment that didn't have breasts.

"You seem… Like a man— who likes it rough…" She whispered between breaths, pulling on his dark hair. He groaned, his scalp screaming at the tension. She chuckled low, her breath hot on his face. True, he did like it rough. Not necessarily for himself; he was more of a sadist, to be honest. But if someone knew how to hurt him just right, he wasn't one to object to masochism. He bit down gently, keeping from sinking his teeth into her flesh. Hard enough to make her tremble. She pulled away from his lips, tilting her head down and pressing her mouth against his.

He'd felt many women before, felt their bodies shivering beneath his, felt their tongues in his mouth, their lips on his skin. He'd felt them die as he sucked away their life. He'd felt their struggling arms pressing into his chest, their nails scratching at his flawless face as they screamed from pain. He'd felt them finally give in as they slumped away, tired of fighting to live and resist. He'd feel this woman do just that as well, like all others before her. She'd cry out as he touched her, and then she would scream as he killed her.

Her hands fumbled at his hips, searching for the buttons of his pants. He resisted the urge to laugh, knowing a secret she did not. Her death was coming upon her at a rate she would have been frightened of. Mere moments… Minutes if she was absolutely lucky. Though with the urgency she showed, he doubted heavily upon it. He smiled into her lips as she managed to pry the buttons away from their fastenings, and she ripped the zipper down. He lifted his hips as he kissed her throat, and she pulled his pants down around his knees.

He wasn't one to bother with boxers, or any kind of underwear, for that matter. He could hear her voice just over the music, and she giggled in delight. He watched her as her hands lifted the hem of her skirt upward, to her hips. She wore nothing beneath as well. Not that this really made a difference to him— she was just here for his entertainment, after all, right? He smiled slightly up at her as she sank down against him, the walls of her central being enveloping him in heat. He moaned— faked for her well being. He flexed the muscle, making it twitch inside of her. Her eyes were closed in ecstasy as he grabbed her hips and rocked her against him.

She may have been experienced in her actions, and had he been any other man, he would have enjoyed himself. But it was neither her sex nor her breasts that excited him. It was the pounding of her heart that he could hear louder than the music, the flow of her blood pulsing through her veins. His irises melted into sweet maroon as he let his hunger devour him. Sweet blood blocked by pale flesh was pumping beneath his hands as he pulled the woman closer to him, pressing his teeth to her nipple again. He bit down, slicing deep into her skin. She cried out, ripping out a few strands of his hair as she shuddered in his mouth. His tongue glided over the incisions, and her cries muffled down into moans. She didn't know she was bleeding her life into his mouth. She just thought that he bit really, really hard. And in truth he did… Oh God, he did…

He sucked her silky wine from her breast, drinking mouthfuls at a time. He pulled his lips away, placing his palm over the holes to hold the bleeding as he kissed her throat and lips. Her tongue slid over his, and her eyes snapped open, fearful. She tasted the metallic crimson, and as he smiled, those eyes widened further. His eyes were swirling with deep red, her blood dripping from his lower lip. She opened her mouth to scream; his free hand slapped over her lips and he ravaged her throat with a swift bite, her blood pooling into his waiting mouth. He moaned, his hips rising into her being as a twinge of excitement rushed through him. Sexual desire only came with the sweet, metallic taste.

He repositioned her struggling body so she was flat on her back upon the sofa, his chilled being above her. He was still buried deep inside, rocking against her as he drained her of life. She shoved up against his shoulders, trying to scream, trying to bite him. He swallowed more and more, fuller and faster. Her protests were turning weak, her muffled cries growing soft. The light in her eyes dimming into darkness. The mouthfuls were running low, and when he had sucked every last, sweet drop from her body, he sighed. He never came.

He pulled himself out, and stood, fixing his pants. It seemed that the women were getting more and more boring these days. Sure, he'd told the media that he had no problem experimenting, but he expected more out of them than what they had shown. He readjusted his jacket, before turning on his heel, leaving the massacre behind him as he trotted down the metal stairs of the club. The loft was his place to stay within shadows and wait for those unwilling souls to come to him. His boots slammed against the steps, though no one heard him coming down. Light flashed into his face, like a spotlight, though no one turned to see him. They were focused on their dance, their drugs, and the music pounding into the floor as if it had a physical shape and was fucking every dancer senseless.

He strode through the crowd, slipping between dozens of sweaty bodies and flailing figures. The music thumped wildly in his ears as he pushed open a side exit, stepping out into the cool night. The door slammed shut, and the beats were muffled behind the walls. He smiled, shoving his hands into his pockets as a wind kissed his hair and caressed his face. He smiled; it was nights like these that he enjoyed the most. Cold but comforting, and for the type of person he was, it was a nice get-away compared to the glam life that he faced on a daily basis.

He smiled to himself again, kicking a rock along the wet pavement of a Los Angeles backstreet. In the distance, he could see high rises, flats, business buildings, printing presses, hotels… Such were the beauties of L.A. He stepped out of the dark back, and onto a brightly lit and crowded side walk. He followed the flow, aimlessly walking in and out of couples, passerby and rabid fans that did double-takes. But he didn't turn and accept autographs or pictures unless they stopped him, and by the time most of them realized they had passed Adam Lambert, he was already gone.

Oh, the delicate whims of being a vampire.

The crowd was thinning as he neared a new, more local night club. Standing outside and turned away, was a man that he could recognize a million miles away. He silently stepped closer, and placed a pale palm on the man's shoulder. He jumped, and whipped in a circle, his eyes wide. Adam couldn't resist the temptation to laugh at Monte's expression, and the guitarist hissed in disbelief before flicking his cigarette into a puddle of water. The cherry sizzled, before dying out. Monte swore under his breath, before motioning for Adam to follow him inside. He ducked into inky darkness, a different kind of music pounding into his ears than from the first club. This was sultry, surreal, more rock based than all out techno. A heavy, delicious bass was being plucked with gentle, passionate ease, and Adam paused just in the doorway, listening.

There was something about the rhythmic playing of that bass, just under the guitars and drums, the cool vocals. That bass made trembles roll down his spine. He followed his guitarist into the club, turning his head to scan over the mountains of bodies and faces. Lights were flicking and flashing over the crowd, bright reds and blues primarily focused upon the stage. His feet carried him after Monte, but his eyes were locked on that glowing stage. The guitarist pressed a cool drink into his hand, before murmuring in his ear, and disappearing into the crowd. Adam raised the drink to his lips, feeling the sting of vodka on his tongue. He grimaced into the glass, but drank it anyway.

The stage was a miraculous sight. Even Adam couldn't deny that. The sounds were beautiful, just shy of his taste, but entertaining none the less. The woman at the mic stand had a powerful voice, but her presence was shy. She didn't seem to be enjoying the song, but she tried for the sanctity of the group. The guitarist was laid back, strumming chords like no one else's business. Adam couldn't really see the drummer, but he could hear rhythm, and that was all that mattered. But the center of his attention was on the bassist. Young in the face, two-tone hair, strong, angular features… But there was more to him than that… He downed the drink and set the empty glass on a passing waiter's tray, his eyes never leaving him. He slipped forward, slicing into the crowd before taking a seat on a stool beside a table, tucked into a corner of the club.

There was a sort of rapture in the boy's playing-- delicate, creamy fingers plucking at bass strings as if they belonged to his heart. He stared, the strobe lights flashing in his eyes, placing his fingers around his face as his eye brow rose in a perfect, black arch. The lights flashed, the music thumped into the floor, but he couldn't keep his eyes from that boy's face. Such a beautiful face… Crystal sweat glistened against his brow, the windows to his soul closed away in concentration as his fingers danced up and down... up and down that beautiful neck... His stomach turned, and his spine trembled. A bass solo, the veins protruding from his pale arms. He shuddered, his free hand curling into a pained fist. The hunger… the hunger…

Why was it burning him so? What was so special about the man on stage, plucking the heart strings of a bass?

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Hope you liked it! :D


	2. Getting Out

Chapter one. Hope you like it~

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Four days earlier…

**Wednesday afternoon, 3:37 PM**

I had been lazing in and out of sleep ever since I rolled in early that morning. My head was pounding something fierce every time my consciousness rose to the surface, and I'd slip under the blankets of darkness moments later. This happened a lot, and I should have been used to it by now— but despite the fact that I drank so often and got shitfaced every time, I was a lightweight in comparison. I couldn't hold my drink worth shit and I had the worst attitude when drunk. The hangovers were the worst though, that was for damned sure. I'd feel horrible for hours on end and not want to do anything but sleep or shower. But today, I just wanted to sleep… to curl into a tight ball, deep in darkness, and sleep.

But how does one sleep when the parental units are arguing down the hall?

I groaned, blinking in the darkness as my blanket stuck to my back with sweat. The Sacramento sun was beating through my window, setting my room ablaze. I would have thrown the blanket away, in some attempt to cool my boiling blood, but I couldn't bring myself to assault my eyes like that. No way in hell, sorry. I let a breath pass between my lips as I shifted beneath the fabric again. I couldn't make out much of what they were saying, but what else was news when I knew they were talking about me? I'm sure they'd known I was out late and got in late. And if I'm out that long, then I've been drinking, there's no doubt. But what bothered me the most about all this was that I was twenty-fucking two years old, I had liberty to do whatever I fucking pleased, did I not?

True, being over eighteen meant I was an adult. Being over twenty-one meant I could drink and do whatever I wanted. And it wasn't exactly the greatest of me in terms of my status to still be living with my parents, but as it was, money was tight and I wasn't much of one to laze in other people's homes. I'd tried to find jobs, but my fascination for the party-life and heavy drinking never really got me passed the interview, and even that I was lucky to reach. I stifled a gag as my breath whooshed from my throat against the sheets of my bed and up into my nose. It was horrible. A combination of vomit, bile, and beer. It made me want to vomit again, right there into my sheets. I coughed quietly, hearing my parents shouting louder at each other.

"I just don't understand why he can't grow up already, he's twenty-two years old!" Mother. What a bitch. She never really accepted that I didn't want to be some National Honor Society rich little bastard. I didn't want the scholarships or the leeway through high school and college. Hell, I didn't want college. But I'd gone for two years of community just to make her happy, so she wouldn't kick me out of the house. I never brought home any girlfriends, though I'd had my share of them since she thought I was too immature to love a girl properly. Whatever.

"Allison, he's of an age where he can do whatever he wants. If he wants to party, fine. If he wants to date girls, fine. If he wants to go off and do something with his life, fine. Why do you have to degrade him of that?" His voice was softer, but still raised over a normal "indoor" voice. Dad— you're the coolest. But even you have your issues with me sometimes.

"I raised him to be a good, obeying son. To appreciate what he's given and to do the best that he can in education for his benefit in life. And he's off every night wasting my years of teaching with alcohol and filthy women! I won't do it anymore, Richard. It's time my son learns a valuable lesson, and if he doesn't, he's gone." I sighed softly, tossing the blankets off from my being. The light was as bad as I feared. I had the hangover from hell pounding into my head and now raging rays of the sun's energy were glaring into my eyes. I muffled a cry of pain as my hand slapped over my lids, blocking them from the sun's hateful gaze. I had to get up. I had to get out of this fucking bed right now, but I could barely drag myself up into a sitting position; I wasn't so sure that I'd be able to manage standing all that well.

"Allison, we don't know if he's off sleeping with women. He could just be out drinking with buddies…"

"What kind of man goes to a bar and doesn't try to hook up with a girl?" Me, Mom. Me and Dad, though Dad has a valid reason. He's married to you. Though I pitied him greatly. If I was married to you, I'd be out drinking and whoring my marriage away as fast as my money could fucking take me. I slowly slid my palm away from my face, keeping my eyes closed as they painfully adjusted to the light through the lids. Eventually, that became bearable, and I turned my head away from the direct light, and opened them. My room was a mess, but a mess that I knew where everything was. That was the one thing I hated about my mom coming into my room, was that she would try to organize everything for me and make me seem like a good boy. Then I'd lose track of the important shit, like where my left shoe has wandered off to this time…

I felt my stomach churn slightly, and I slowly pulled myself up. The blanket slipped from my torso, lying in waves around my boxer-covered hips. My chest was gleaming with California sweat as I rubbed my eyes, my head thrashing. God, today was gonna suck major balls. But unfortunately, it was this part of the hangover that I was used to; the worst of it all, even though it was horrendously irritating. I sighed again. My thoughts were jumbled, confused, and still drunk from last night. Nothing was making sense to me and I was flying in and out of focus as my mother continued to shriek down the hall. Was she making her way to my room? Was that why her voice was getting louder? Or was she just being a bitch and raising her voice to try to prove a stupid point that her only son was a fucking drunk?

"Richard, why are you fighting me about this? You've seen the way our son acts! He lives off of that… that _noise_ he calls music and he drinks practically straight from a bottle! He's destroying his body and his mind by the second with all the stupid things he does on a daily basis! I swear, Richard, that boy needs to go back to church and read his Bible…" Oh _God!_ She's saying I need to go back to church? News flash, O Mother Dearest, all the times you thought Grammy was taking me to church she'd taken me out for ice cream and a cruise through the hills to listen to Halen and Beatles. What kind of a fucking loop have you been missing out on?

I coughed lightly again. I wasn't even listening anymore. I was beyond listening. I reached over and grabbed the bottle of ibuprofen from my side table, and popping off the lid. I tapped the container against my palm, dropping for into my waiting hand. I slammed my palm into my mouth, throwing the pills onto my tongue before throwing my head back and swallowing. I grimaced as they went down dryly, before snapping the lid back into place. The whims of cheap medication. I tossed the blankets aside, swinging my legs slowly off of the side of my bed. My muscles were aching from jumping around so much, my body numb from the beers. But I was at least starting to move. I was functioning, and after the night I'd had, that was really saying something.

My feet pressed into the carpet of my bedroom floor, and inch by inch the muscles screamed as I stood. I swayed slightly, before catching my balance on the side table, feeling the acids in my stomach rolling over one another in waves. I blinked back dizziness and moisture as I straightened my back. Joints popped, bones creaked, and I could have sworn I could hear the tension of tendons as they stretched. Wow, I needed to get back into proper shape again. I groaned, stumbling to my dresser. I needed a shower, but I didn't have the time. My hands fumbled on the holds, and I pulled, ripping out two pairs of black skinny jeans. I tossed them onto my bed, and closed the drawer. Second drawer, I snatched out a few t-shirts, and one long sleeved grey and black striped sweater with a hood. It was my favorite that I had gotten from a vacation in San Francisco a few years back. Third and final drawer— I had a small dresser— the necessities. Boxers, socks, and one pair of pajama pants; I never slept with a shirt on. All thrown onto my bed. I needed out. And I was getting the fuck out.

I grabbed a pair of dark blue jeans, a black t-shirt, and socks out— today's attire. How drab. Setting the shirt aside, I tugged my jeans on, snapping the button and pulling up the zipper. Shirt— on. My parents were still arguing, my mother's voice rising into a shrill screech. Even though her words would hurt any Christian, they didn't affect me. I wasn't always proud of the things I did, but I didn't care for the church or reading the Bible. I believed in God, didn't pray to him as much as some thought I should.

"Richard! Our son is a sinner!"

"Allison— we're all sinners."

I smirked. Touché, Dad. Touché. I crouched down, snatching a large backpack from under my bed. Dumping out beer cans, concert ticket stubs, and random articles of clothing I had no memory of ever getting, I shoved the fresh clothes deep into the bottom. I glanced around the room, grabbing various items of importance or none— house keys (was I even coming back?), a book (what was the title?), eye liner (hey, hey, it's important!), a notebook, a few pens, guitar picks, ibuprofen bottle (I could foresee myself doing a lot more drinking), and my wallet. Everything crammed into a black backpack. I sighed, stretching as I grabbed my socks and slid them over my feet, sitting down on the edge of my bed. I leaned down, pulling my converse closer to my, shoving my feet into them and lacing them up. Black skulls painted on with sharpie over baby blue fabric. I loved my shoes.

Standing again, I turned, grabbing my bag and slinging it over my shoulder. Cell phone— off table, into pocket. iPod? I grabbed it off my floor, wrapping my headphones around the silvery case, and shoving it into my back pocket. I turned my head, seeing my guitar and my bass standing next to each other. I sighed heavily. I wouldn't be able to take them both— I'd have to choose one. I bit down on my bottom lip and grabbed my bass, easing it into the case. Curling my fingers around the handle, I lifted it, crossing to my bedroom door. I sighed heavily, reaching with my free hand. I turned the knob, and stepped from the hot sanctuary of my room, out into the hallway. My mother's head turned from where she stood in the kitchen, her eyes falling upon my shaggy appearance and my backpack. Her eyes went from angry to confused, back to angry.

"What do you think you're doing?" She hissed. I tightened my hold on my bass and stalked down the hall, shoving past her as I crossed into the kitchen.

"Getting the fuck out of here." I replied, growing low under my breath as my dad pulled out his wallet. He understood; he didn't care I was leaving. I watched him pull out a few hundred dollar bills, cramming them into my free hand. I nodded in thanks. "Guitar's upstairs. Take care of her for me, please?" He nodded once, slipping his car keys into my hands as well. I frowned at him, and he just shook his head slowly. I mouthed a word of thanks with love in my eyes; I walked through the dining room, turning into the living room. My mother was stuttering, her bare feet slapping against linoleum as she shrieked behind me.

"Thomas Joe Ratliff, come back here!" I didn't turn back, I didn't acknowledge her. I just kept walking through the living room as if she wasn't there.

"Thomas! For goodness sakes, listen to your mother!" I paused, staring blankly at the wall in front of me. I smirked, and turned my head first, before turning my body towards her. Her hands were balled into fury, her eyes ablaze. She'd always been the kind of mother that wanted the perfect honor-roll son. The son with good grades, great friends, played on the football team and got scholarships. The son who didn't spend Friday nights at parties and instead was studying for next week's finals. The son who didn't fancy playing rock and roll and preferred to perform Mozart. She didn't want a son like me.

"What mother? I don't see a mother in this house." Her face fell into a mask of horror and shock. I'd hit a nerve. I didn't acknowledge her as my own mom anymore. I snarled, and continued. "All my life you've been complaining of the things that don't meet your standards or are on the opposite end of what you deem perfect. I'm not sorry I never got into sports, I'm not sorry I didn't get straight A's, I'm not sorry that I spend my nights enjoying life by drinking beer and hanging a good time with friends—"

"Those are not friends, Thomas. Those are filthy, vicious people who only want to stab you in the back later in—" I groaned.

"Just shut the fuck up! For once in your life, shut up!" She was taken aback. "I don't care that you don't approve of my friends or my habits. I don't care that you think the kind of music I listen to doesn't meet your idea. I'm getting out of this shithole before you start preaching to me."

"You heard preaching every Sunday as a child… You were such a good boy, Thomas…" I scoffed, and rolled my eyes.

"Oh please, Allison." I used her first name. I wasn't calling her mom anymore. I was done with mothers; especially mine. "Do you actually believe I went when Grandma offered to take me every week? Do you really, honestly believe that I came home from church _happy_?" She was frozen, staring at me. She didn't want to believe it, but that probably meant she did anyway. I sighed and turned, heading for the door. The house was silent as I shoved the cash into my pocket, gripping the key deep into my palm. I grabbed the door knob and she spoke again.

"If you leave this house, Thomas, don't come back and expect to be my son again." She said, trying to sound threatening. As if she could say anything to make me stay. There were no promises left; there was nothing to make me stay any longer, except for my dad. I didn't look at her.

"I was never your son to begin with." I hissed into the door, pulling it open and slamming it behind me. I trotted down the porch steps, easily walking across the lawn as the California heat beat itself into my arms and face. I cringed as the light blinded me, my stomach flipping over from walking down the steps. I reached my dad's 1971 Dodge Demon, painted a sexy black with gloss. This was his baby— and now it was mine. I smiled slightly and shook my head, opening the trunk and setting my bass inside, tucking my backpack beside it. Dad— how could I ever repay you for this?

I crossed to the driver's door, opening it slowly and slipping inside, my denim covered ass pressed against creamy leather. I slid the key into the ignition and turned, hearing the engine rumble to a quite life. I smiled, pulling my iPod from my back pocket. Grabbing the audio cord, I crammed it into the headphone piece, turning it on. I tossed my hair out of my face, and put the gears into reverse, pulling from driveway. Dad stepped out onto the porch, lighting up a cigarette and giving me a wave. I waved back with a smile as I pressed play on my iPod, a harsh guitar throbbing in my ears as I drove down the street. I passed familiar houses with familiar people, but the farther I got away from them, the faster I forgot them. They were the friends and neighbors of a life I didn't have any desire to remain a part of anymore. I wanted something else, something better.

I tapped my fingers to the beat of the song, unaware of where I was going or how long it would take me to get there, but I wasn't too concerned. With the hangover wearing off and a good six hundred dollars in my pocket, there were a lot of things I wasn't too concerned about. A breath escaped my throat as I drove on, southbound from Sacramento. _'And now it's my turn…'__

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Comments are appreciated. :D Hahaha


	3. Drinks Before Dawn

Whoot! Chapter two! :D Haha, anyways. I really hope you guys are liking this so far. If there's anything I should change or fix, don't hesistate to let me know! If you've read this on deviantart, drop me a message! :D Enjoy~ **

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Early Thursday morning, 2:29 AM

I'd ended up in Los Angeles. How, I have no idea. I only remember driving, occasionally stopping for gas or for the bathroom. Only once did I pull off into a small town for a cheeseburger and a Coke. Other than that, I just drove. I did eighties on the high way and in passing towns just minute digits above the speed limit. I'd covered almost four hundred miles in under twelve hours, needless to say I was fucking proud of myself since the longest I'd driven for before was a mere fifty miles, and that had been to visit my Grandmother in San Francisco. That had been one of the best road trips I'd ever done, and I wish now that I could do it again, but it's looking unlikely.

I entered a long stretch, the city lights gleaming into the sky, illuminating the world as if it was still daylight outside. I was a bit awestruck as I came closer and closer to that of Los Angeles, but I could feel excitement pumping in my veins. The thoughts that I didn't have a place to stay didn't register. I was in marvel at the city lights and sounds, so different but so similar to that of Sacramento. The thing about L.A. was that there was more— more clubs, more corporate, more industry, more music, more fame, more everything… Sacramento was the mere wannabe it seemed. I drove with steady ease, fluidly swerving in and out of lanes and cars. I received honks and fingers now and then, but I didn't give a damn.

My stereo was rocking out hardcore with some Guns 'N' Roses; my head was bobbing, my fingers tapping, my voice ringing out into the city night. Fortunately, driving on the highway into L.A., there was no issue of residential area— no one to be bothered by the music. I grinned at my reflection into the rear view mirror, racing along faster down the road. I was only bordering upon the low seventies, but it was fast for the Demon. Haha, Demon. And this car doesn't have nearly the speed as others do.

Soaring on pavement like birds flying high (you know how I feel, haha), I spun the wheel, swerving into city streets, slowing the speed down to forty. I rolled down my window, inhaling the smog and the exhaust mixing itself into the dank air. I smiled. Nothing could beat a true night life like L.A., though I'd heard Vegas was pretty nifty, I'd never been. Not even for my twenty-first birthday. This made me incredibly sad, but Allison had been the one managing it that year since I had no money. And needless to say, my birthday consisted of a night at home, listening to Christian rock and eating meat loaf. Really, really shitty meat loaf.

I shook my head, driving down the street, before turning and pulling into a parking lot of a local bar. I needed a drink after a drive like that. Endless hours of roads and cities, burgers and watered down beers. I'm sure if any kind of a cop pulled me over, I would have been arrested since I was still a bit dizzy from my recent binging. And then along with the few beers I'd had throughout the day… Yeah… I wasn't exactly the most influential person in terms of right and wrong with drinking and driving, but at least I didn't drink _while_ I drove. Even I'm not that stupid.

Killing the engine, I tucked my iPod into a safe place, getting out of the car and locking it up tight. It was still California, and I didn't trust anybody with anything. But I had hopes for certain that it wouldn't be as bad as Sacramento. But hopes could only get you so far in a city like this. I shoved the keys into my pocket, turning towards the building. It was a nice size, spacious looking with a second story. Perhaps a loft or the bartender's home? I couldn't be sure as I began crossing the lot. A cool wind blew at my back as I reached the door, pushing it open slowly. The bar was dimly lit, music playing in the back somewhere. A few TVs were tuned into a football game. The air was thick with smoke and alcohol. I inhaled deeply and smiled to myself, tossing my hair out of my face as I walked closer to the bar. Some of the guys turned and gave me a quizzical look. The ladies lifted their eye brows and batted their eye lashes, holding cigarettes between their thin fingers. Acrylic nails glittered under neon lights and belt buckles were cast with strange shadows. I smiled to myself.

I was at home here.

I slid between two people at the bar, waving down the bartender. He was a scruffy man, a full beard stretched along his face, his eyebrows thick with sweat, his brow glistening. A red bandana was tied over his thinning hair and his eyes were hard in the light. He was drying a glass with oversized hands and a dirty rag as he hobbled over to me, setting the glass down upon the table with a soft _clank_. I glanced along the titles of tap, trying to find something— anything— of interest.

"What'll it be, son?" He asked me. My thin eyebrows knit themselves together for a moment, before I decided.

"Coors on tap, please." I said over the music, pulling out a ten dollar bill. The glasses were of a pretty nice size, not to mention Coors was tasty. The man could get himself a drink with the extra tip. He filled the newly dried glass to the brim with golden liquid and foam. I smiled, taking the beer from him and sipping on the froth. It burned my tongue and throat as it slid down. Ahh, beer that wasn't watered down. This was the best way to end a long drive and start a new night. While it wasn't really in my best interest to get shitfaced when I didn't even have a place to stay, I could afford to splurge a little. Maybe the tender could let me sleep in the back or something for the night if it got too bad…

"Budweiser on tap!" Someone shouted next to me. I winced, taking another gulp of my beer as I reclined against the lip of the counter. I sensed the person staring at me hard, and I swallowed, turning my head. I coughed a little as beer came back up. His mangy black hair and bright green eyes were familiar as always. His shoulders had gotten broader, his face fuller— he'd even gotten taller. But I'd never forget that face, that smile, those eyes. I felt memories piling at the back of my mind, behind walls of summer heat, whore sex, and alcohol. The nights of party had diluted those of senior trips and college papers. I set my beer down on the counter as he spoke.

"Thomas Joe Ratliff. Fuck, I never thought I'd see you in good ol' Los Angeles." He said with a one million dollar grin. I gave him a man hug; big arms and slapping against his back before pulling away. He hadn't changed at all…

"Alexander Rylie Pruitt. I heard you were moving to L.A., but I didn't think I'd see you here." I said in response, taking another drink of my beer as he swallowed his first gulp. Through senior year of high school, he had been my drinking buddy whenever my parents went out of town. And in college we'd have parties all night long when we should have been studying for exams. He was one of the few friends I'd made in all my educating years that I trusted with anything. And he trusted me in return. We were like brothers. Really drunk brothers.

"Yeah well, you know how it is. Gotta get out of Sacramento sometime." He said with a laugh. I chuckled in response, shaking my head as I took another drink. "So how long have you been in L.A.?" I frowned, pulling out my phone and checking the time. Shit, three am.

"Um… Half an hour?" I laughed as he coughed into his beer, his face alight with shock and laughter.

"Seriously? Half a fucking hour? Shit dude, and you're already drinking?" I nodded, taking another gulp. He laughed. "Man… please tell me you grew some balls and remembered to find a place before…" I shook my head.

"Fuck…" He murmured. I smiled at him. "No…" He began. I gave him puppy dog eyes behind my glass.

"No!!" He said again. I whimpered. He rolled his eyes.

"Fine. Whatever, you can stay with me. But only for a week. After a week, you gotta jet." I punched the air in victory, finishing my beer and setting the glass down on the counter.

"Why a week?" I asked.

"Just… cause. Got things to do, stuff to prepare for…"

"Please, Alex, you've never had anything to do except party and fool around. Why only a week?" I didn't really like pushing him like this, but there as a look on his face that was making me curious.

"Cause… I don't think my… roommate… would appreciate it really… You being good looking and all…" He muttered. My face flushed at his uncomfortable look. He appeared so young, so small, so like the dorky Alex I'd known back in high school when I had to save him from getting picked on by the football fucks. But it was in this innocent look that a light blush began it's travel across his cheeks, and I pieced certain things together in my muddled, drunk brain. Was he? No… he couldn't— Alex? With another…? I raised an eyebrow as he looked up at me, the bangs of his hair falling into his face, hiding his eyes from me.

"Alex?" He tilted his head a little higher; his eyes shy behind his hair. "Are you— ya know…" I couldn't say it. I couldn't ask the question entirely. But he knew what I was implying; he knew it well.

"Yes Tommy. I'm gay." I stared at him for a long while, trying to visualize my old friend— Little Alex, gay? No… I couldn't see it. But all the same, I could. I could see him holding hands with another guy, kissing male lips, being devoured by strong eyes and hands. I felt heat rising to my face at the idea, and shook my head with a slight smile, before clapping him on his shoulder. He grinned at me as I gave him an approving look. I couldn't trust my voice at this point.

How could I have not known though? All the signs in high school— the sudden intrigue in hanging out with the girls, the eye liner and shadow, the gloss, the occasional flecks of glitter. The amazing fashion, the quirky voice. I sighed as the bartender handed me another drink, and I greedily gulped a good half of it down. All the little things I had failed to notice when everyone else was making fun of him. I saved him time and time again from the insults, but I never paid the slightest fraction of attention to it. How he must have needed me when I seemed so oblivious. I felt bad, but I was happy for him now. Apparently he was in a stable relationship, happy and giddy. I glanced over at him, seeing him sipping on his second draft, a kind of fire in his eyes that I was rather unfamiliar with. I chuckled, and took another drink.

"So, what's he like?" I asked him. Alex turned his head, frowning for a moment as the fire died. It was replaced with a gleam of joy, and he giggled— he fucking _giggled_!!

"Well… He's a sweetheart. A total rock and roll junkie who's high off life. He's cute— well, to me. He's funny and charming, a total doll." I laughed; God his vocabulary was gay, in a nice way. "I mean, he's not everyone's cup of tea, and he knows this, but he's such an amazing guy. He's got heart and soul and damn good looks… Fuck, look at me, rambling about him…" Alex blushed and I laughed into my beer.

"Well, it's good to hear you've found someone. A good man's hard to find I hear." I laughed again, taking another drink. Alex just rolled his eyes and mock punched me in the shoulder.

"Yeah whatever. I don't see you getting a girlfriend anytime soon. Come to join the dark side?" I snorted, swooshing my hair out of my face again.

"As if. The only way you'll ever know that I've 'joined the dark side' is if you wake up one morning with my dick in your throat."

"Bitch please. I'll be so far up your ass, you'll feel me in your throat." We both stared at each other for a brief moment before busting up into hysterical fits of laughter. Such laughter that other people were giving us strange looks. God, I missed Alex. I missed random conversations with him. True, they weren't always like this, in fact they never were, but there was something comforting about the familiar raunchy humor that we shared with one another. I finished swallowing it down, before glancing at my phone again. A good hour had past. I could feel exhaustion pulling at my face.

"Hey— Alex, could we head out?" I asked him. His eyes cleared into focus, and he nodded once. He motioned for me to follow him out, tossing a twenty onto the counter before turning away. The bar had cleared out some since I had gotten there, but it was still pretty crowded for nearly four in the morning. Alex slid between several burly men. I, being taller than him, had a harder time getting through, but I managed. The sunlight was far from reaching the city of Los Angeles, but it was plenty bright with the city lights and neon glows. I stumbled slightly behind Alex as he turns and holds his hand out to me.

"What?" I ask him. He frowns.

"I'm not letting you drive. Give me your keys, Thomas." I growled; I hated it when people used my name like that. I grudgingly pulled the Dodge key, hooked to my hold house keys, from my pocket, and slammed them into Alex's palm. He gave me a quirky smile and practically skipped to the driver's side of the Demon. I sighed, running my fingers through the darker half of my hair as I fumbled my way to the passenger door. Alex unlocked it from the inside, and I opened the door, sliding onto the leather, and shutting it again. Clipping my seat belt into place, I reclined against the seat as Alex started the car.

The drive was silent, lasting only a few minutes. But I couldn't be sure of the actual length of time, considering my head lolled side to side in a half-conscious daze. The alcohol was hammering into my head, along with the previous hangover. I needed to learn to stop drinking, but I couldn't help it. It was too fucking delicious to give up on. I couldn't remember what turns were made, what streets we passed, or what lights were flashing on billboards. I remember motion and I remember stopping in front of an apartment complex. I groggily pulled myself from the car, staring up at the building. White walls, light blue doors, blue window frames, a mossy black roof. Three stories tall. Nothing intriguing or stand-outish by comparison to the rest of the city. At least it was somewhere to stay for the time being.

"Alright baby, don't worry about your stuff. My boy and I can take care of it for you later, okay? Up we go…" He had his hand around my waist, easing me up the first flight of stairs. His apartment was on the second level, and my drunkness plus stairs did not equal a pleasant conclusion. But with Alex supporting my deadening weight, it was a possible task that required little effort of my half. Though I couldn't say the same for him, sadly. We walked more, down a wooden, old path, before reaching a door. 222. I rested against the wall as Alex pulled his own keys from his pocket, and unlocked the wooden slab, helping me inside. The apartment was dark, with the exception of the living room. It was dimly lit. I couldn't make out much, my vision was fading. But there was a couch, an entertainment center with a TV and stereo, a side table with a lamp, a coffee table, and a few art pieces on the wall.

There was a tall man leaning in the archway of the hall that led off to another part of the apartment. His hair was a dusty brown, facial hair in a thin layer on his face. He wasn't bad looking for four in the morning, but then again, I didn't really care for him in the first place. Alex guided me to the couch, helping me lie down on it. He untied my shoes and set them aside, tossing a blanket over me. My head lolled to the side, and I found myself slipping slowly into darkness. I was far gone, but not too far to hear them talking.

"Alex— I'm just not sure about having another guy staying here…"

"Baby, he's my friend from high school. And that's all we are. I don't even think he's anything but straight. You don't have to be so jealous."

"I'm not jealous, Alex!"

"Please, baby." There was a slopping sound of skin on skin, and I was too exhausted to mock the motion of vomiting.

"Alright fine. But only for a week or so.."

"I've already told him that."

"Good, good…"

"Thank you, Drake…"

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What'd ya think? Comment please~


	4. Afternoon Breakfast

**Lol, another chapter. Weee!!!!

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Thursday afternoon, 1:14 PM

As much as I didn't want to, I found myself waking, a stereo playing a hard rock song that I remembered from high school. I grumbled restlessly in my sleep, before opening my eyes slowing. Pangs of pain assaulted my eyes and my head, and I groaned angrily, shifting my arm over my face. There was a sizzle from somewhere beneath the music; the scent of bacon drifted into my senses, and I moved again. Where was that intoxicating aroma spilling forth from? Sitting up slowly, I rubbed my eyes and scanned the area, confused as to where I was. White walls, carpeted floor, art on the walls all neatly placed. I sighed softly, flopping back onto the couch. I remembered now… The drive, the alcohol, Alex telling me he was gay, Alex bringing me home. I vaguely remembered seeing his partner. I stared at the ceiling as I heard Alex singing to himself over the stereo, and I smiled slightly.

I turned my head, seeing a grandfather clock standing in the corner of the room, ticking silently. It read a quarter after one, and I exhaled a heavy breath. I'd slept for little over nine hours. Yay me. Tossing the blanket off of my sweaty body, I sat up slowly, placing my feet on the floor. My skin was burning, my shirt sticking to me, my pants uncomfortably loose. I hated sleeping in my clothes, but I was assuming I was too tired and drunk to deal with clothes. I glanced to my left, seeing my backpack and bass leaning against the far wall. Alex hadn't been kidding when he said he would take care of everything for me. I chuckled, and stood, swaying slightly. But I was functioning better than the day before, and that was a nice thought.

I shuffled slowly towards the source of the smell, walking under a slight arch, passing through the dining room (which looked so formal I thought I'd stepped into a different place all together) and into the kitchen. Alex was skillfully working on scrambling eggs and managing bacon, toasting toast in the toaster, and mixing a pan of vegetables and potatoes. I stopped, staring as he worked over the blistering stove top, a fan nailed to the wall blowing into his face. His hair was pushed back with a bandana, the sleeves of his shirt rolled to the elbows. An apron was tied around his waist, various spatulas, whisks, and wooden spoons tucked into hand sewn pockets. I leaned against a counter, watching as he masterfully piled everything onto two plates.

I had never known him to be a cook, but by the looks and smells, he was a genius in the kitchen. He seemed so at peace, singing to Motley Crue while tossing together fluffy, scrambled eggs like no one else's business. His back was to me as he opened the fridge, pulling out a jug of orange juice, and filling two glasses, close to the brim. I felt a smile creeping along my lips as he finished cooking and decorated the ceramic plates with eggs, potatoes with onions and bell peppers, bacon, and toast lathered with butter. He placed his hands on his hips and nodded, obviously pleased with himself. He reached over and turned off the stove, turning to grab the plates. I cleared my throat and he jumped three feet into the air, before falling to his knees beside the sink, his eyes wide as he stared at me. His reaction sent me into fits of giggles that turned into hysterical laughs, and he slammed the top of my head with his wooden spoon.

"Shuddup, Thomas!" He shrieked at me, but I couldn't contain my laughter. He hit me again, and I just laughed even harder. He sighed, tossing the spoon into the sink, and grabbed the two plates into his hand. He mumbled under his breath as he set them down on the table, one across from the other, before retreating to the kitchen again to grab the orange juice. I was calming myself, but still giggling as he removed his apron and bandana, refusing to look at me as he sat down behind his plate. I sat across from him, still chuckling and grinning ear to ear as I wrapped my fingers around the cool glass, and took a drink of my juice.

"It's not that funny, fuck." He said, and I cleared my throat again.

"Like hell it wasn't! That was the funniest thing I've seen in a while!" I exclaimed, forking a bite of eggs and potatoes. I felt a moan in the back of my throat and I stared down at the plate of golden perfection. The eggs were fluffy and light, salted to brilliant and tasty perfection with oregano season sprinkled onto their skins. The potatoes were soft beneath a firm layer of crispy gold, glistening with light grease. The bacon shimmered like waves of brown and red, and I felt my stomach doing flips of excitement for the coming entirety of the meal. Alex had his hands folding under his chin as his eyes watched me closely. I devoured several bites of my food, savoring each taste, better than the last. I swallowed, looking up at him again.

"Alex, this is amazing! When the hell did you learn to cook?!" He laughed, his eyes alight with joy.

"Just something I picked up after graduating and leaving Sacramento. Drake can't cook worth shit, and I wanted to do something special for him for our one year anniversary. So, a week in advanced, I learned how to cook a three course meal at a volunteer center. I made it for him and he said it was the best meal he's had in his life. So, I continued learning and cooking on a daily basis. What you're eating is actually a rather simple meal." I gaped at him, before taking another sweet and salty bite. I swallowed, washing down the orgasmic tastes with juice, and Alex took his first bite, seeming very pleased with his work.

"I wish I could cook like this." I said, horking down a chewy piece of bacon. I giggled in delight at the greasy, meaty taste. It was better than anything I'd eaten in a really, really long time, and I was beyond happy that Alex had made my meal. Alex whom I hadn't seen in ages! He continued to eat his own food, humming along lightly with the stereo, which was playing a song by Metallica. I chuckled, taking another large bite. Half of my food had disappeared from my plate, and I was sad to see it go, but it was beyond tasty. Swallowing another gulp of my OJ, I sat back in my chair for a moment.

"So what's your plan for today?" Alex asked, chomping on another bite of eggs. I thought for a moment, before smiling.

"I was thinking of heading through the city, finding an open mic at a club or something. Maybe I can jam with a band who needs a bassist for a night. Just something to do. Maybe someone'll sign me and I can get out of your hair." Alex laughed.

"Yeah, cause you'll totally get signed the first open mic you play at. And who knows maybe you won't get your shot tonight; you might have to wait for a little while. These things take time; you can't pop in and expect to be a rock star the first second your pluck a string." I frowned behind my orange juice glass, and I set it down slowly, tilting my head to the side. He was dead serious.

"When did you become my father, Alexander?" I said humorously. Alex cracked a smile and devoured the last of his eggs. But I could see in his eyes a kind of seriousness that was bordering upon morbid. A seriousness I wasn't used to seeing in someone like Alex. He was normally happy and energetic about strange or interesting subjects, but this was a side of Alex that was as unfamiliar as a caterpillar living in the North Pole. I frowned slightly, setting my fork down on my plate for a moment. Alex looked up at me, and his hard eyes narrowed.

"What?"

"What's wrong with you?" I asked him.

"Nothing." He said, taking another bite.

"C'mon, Alex. Don't be like that. I was only joking when I asked you that, so what's bitten you in the ass all of a sudden?" He sighed, setting his own fork down. His boyish face looked aged, and not in a pleasant way. I could almost see the lines in his face, the bags under the eyes, the gray hairs. I blinked, and they vanished, betraying my friend's young but troubled mask of emotion. There was battle waging itself in his mind, the clearest view through his eyes. I tilted my head to the side as he spoke softly, picking at his potatoes.

"I don't ever want to be a father." He said grimly. I blinked.

"What?" I was dumbfounded, what kind of a question was that? He didn't want to be a father? Okay, I could understand cold feet with children and marriage; I was quite sure my own dad had been the same way. But the way he said it sent chills down my back. It was like he though kids were a sin or a disease. I chewed on my bottom lip gently, my two toned hair messily falling into my face. I brushed the black bangs back with my hand, tucking it behind my pierced ears. A silence had fallen around Alex's being, and I wondered briefly if he was going to say anything more on the subject.

"Alex?" He paused for a long moment, before speaking again.

"I don't know… I mean… Having kids…" He trailed off, finding it hard to piece words together. "It's not that I don't like kids, but I just can't see myself being a father, you know? What gay man can hold a relationship and children at the same time? Besides, I couldn't do that to my children. I couldn't let them be teased because their parents were both men." He'd done some intense thinking upon this particular topic. Once Alex was passionate or set on something, he was never one to change his mind about his view upon it. And I could see in his face and his eyes that he was dead set against kids, and as sad as that was, there was nothing anyone would be able to do to change that. I nodded once, quickly finishing my late breakfast meal, washing it down with the last of my orange juice. Alex lazily picked at the remains of his food, leaning his head into his palm.

I stared at him for a moment, before standing from the table, taking my dishes to the sink in the kitchen. I nudged the faucet, rinsing them off and out thoroughly before setting them aside, wiping my hands on my jeans. I passed through the dining room, back into the living room where I grabbed my backpack. Lifting it, I set it down onto the cushion, ripping it open and pulling out fresh, clean clothes. The ones I wore smelled of cigarettes, alcohol, and driving sweat. I felt disgusting, and I probably looked it too. Carrying my clothes, I turned my head towards Alex; he was still at the table.

"I'm gonna take a shower…" I said softly. He waved me off, staring down at his bell peppers. I frowned, feeling bad. We'd driven into a sensitive subject, and if my memory served correctly, he'd be off in his own shut off world for at least a good hour or so. I shuffled down the hallway, turning right, and into the only bathroom in the apartment. I turned on the light and overhead fan, closing the door behind me. Dropping my clothes on the counter, I glanced at my haggard appearance in the mirror. I wasn't in too bad of shape, but I didn't look like the most attractive man either. I sighed, running my fingers against the pixie cut in the back, my fingers trailing along my scalp as well. Slowly, I stripped out of my shirt and pants, down to my boxers and socks. My skin was a creamy pale, my hip bones jutting out. Fortunately, I had enough flesh that my ribs didn't stick out unless I sucked in my gut. I refused to let my ribs protrude like I'd seen in some people. It just looked disgusting.

Turning, I faced the tub, knocking the faucet to the side. Cold water sloshed into the tub, before swirling into blissful heat. I smiled, lifting a knob, and the shower head sprang to life, spraying the tub's floor with steaming crystals. I stepped in, wincing as the heat slashed into my skin, but it didn't take long for me to get used to it. I sighed heavily, leaning against the wall as water splashed my skin and hair, soaking every possible inch of exposed flesh. I closed my eyes, relishing it the pure heat of the water. I hadn't had a shower in a few days, and I knew aside from my rank smell, I looked pretty grimy and filthy. Filthy— had Allison ever called me filthy like that? No… What did it matter anymore anyway? I wasn't living with the frigid bitch, why should I have to fucking remember her?

"Whatever." I muttered to myself, stealing Alex's shampoo (Treseme, classic). I rubbed it into my hands, before massaging my scalp and running my fingers through my uber short hair. There wasn't much that needed to be washed, but none the less, it would be beneficial to clean it on a daily basis. I rinsed my hair under the blistering spray, watching the soap splash into the bottom of the tub and fall down the drain. I exhaled, pushing it out of my face as I leaned heavily upon the wall. The bathroom was silent, something of which I wasn't really used to, since back home there was a small hanging stereo nailed to the wall. In which I would play Halen or Motley Crue, but only when Allison wasn't home. I'd learned quickly if I played music on the stereo when she was home, she'd come in and turn it off. What a bitch.

The rest of the shower was uneventful. I scrubbed violently at my face and body, relishing more and more in the never ending heat. But I knew I had to get out at some point. I couldn't stay in the shower all day long as much as I might have wanted to. Reluctantly I shut off the water and stepped out, towel drying my body and my hair. Snatching up my clothes, I tugged each piece on; thankfully I had remembered to grab a sleeveless shirt. It was still California, thus is was still sunny and hot. Thus in which short sleeves to no sleeves were nice. I smiled at my reflection in the mirror, the ragged edges of my 'Tallica shirt adding the extra edge to my toned arms and collar bones, of which seemed to peak like mountains from beneath the fabric. My hips held the bright green skinny jeans with ease, the denim suction cupped to my thighs and calves (or what little I had). Running my fingers through my short hair, I flipped it to the opposite side, letting it hang over my left eye.

"Decent enough." I said to myself, before turning and exiting the bathroom without another word or glance at my steamed reflection. The apartment was no longer quiet; I could hear voices coming from the dining room, and I could only assume that Drake was back. Stepping into the living room, my assumption was correct. His back was to me as he faced Alex, of who was still sitting at the same place where I had left him, his plate of food still untouched. I rolled my eyes to myself and sat down on the couch, pulling out a fresh pair of socks and pulling them onto my feet.

"I don't know what to tell you, Drake. You're technically still with him, as far as he's concerned." Alex said angrily. Drake sighed. "I can't believe you haven't told him about us yet.."

"Babe— I'm trying to, but he won't listen to me. You should know how he can be, you've met him before." Drake's voice was irritated but cool. Though I found it a little obnoxious and whiny, I didn't complain. I shoved my feet into my shoes, uncaring of who they were talking about or why.

"Yeah, I met him a grand total of one time, and that was before all the superstar shit hit the fan and he became an icon." Oh, so Drake's current (or ex?) lover was famous? Fabulous, just what Alex would need. Publicity because his lover was a fucking retard. I wanted to punch Drake and tell him to be a man, grow some balls and a backbone. But I didn't. I knew better than to step out of line and into other's problems when I was sober. When I was drunk, I had an excuse (kinda). With this, there was no place for me to interfere. I laced my shoes, grabbed my keys and wallet, and I stood. They weren't really paying any attention to me.

"Alex, I promise I'll talk to him and tell him as soon as I can. But he's gotta listen to me. If I tell him and he doesn't, it's his loss, and I'll just continue with my life and relationship with you…" I turned and headed for the door. I wasn't existent in their life. They were having a conversation that I had no part of. Therefore, I wasn't in their world.

"Okay— but sooner or later, he's gonna find out, whether you actually tell him or not. He doesn't seem like the kind of person who's oblivious…"

I opened the apartment door, stepped into heat, and closed it behind me. Their conversation was lingering on my tongue and in the subconscious of my brain, but it was slowly fading with every step I took closer to the stairs and closer to my car.

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**Hope you enjoyed it! :D Comment please~!**


	5. Mayan Promises

**sorry this chapter took me forever. It was giving me problems because there wasn't a whole lot of exciting shit going on. but next chapter it'll get better. promise. :D

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Thursday afternoon, 4:57 PM

Los Angeles was a lot more confusing than I gave it credit for, sad as it was. The streets were long and narrow with twist and turns and one way signs mingling with lights and civilians. Fortunately, Sacramento had similar aspects, allowing me the chance to adapt quickly, but regardless of my city experience, L.A. was unfamiliar to me. As I feared, though only slightly, that it would always be unfamiliar. I shook my head, tapping my fingers to the bass line of the stereo's selected song, uncaring that I didn't really know the name, let alone the words. Heat pressed on the left half of my face as I continued driving north through the city, searching for something, anything.

I couldn't remember the number of times I turned the wheel or slowed to a stop. I couldn't count the number of streets I passed or how long I was driving. The signals became piled, one after another, the turns endless in tunnels of concrete. I frowned and pulled into an empty lot, flipping a u-ie, and driving back the way I came, the sun flashing through my window on the right side. I had absently passed through the center of the city and was on my way out of town. No clothes, most of my money still at Alex's apartment— I was in no shape to leave yet. I didn't want to leave just yet.

So why was I leaving town? I groaned, feeling frustrated at my lack of knowledge as I leaned my head against the steering wheel, the street light an angry red. If I had any hope of finding an open mic, I needed to learn the streets a little better. Perhaps Alex would be able to help me… I certainly hoped so. I pressed my foot to the gas pedal, rolling forward. The song on the stereo had changed to something or other by Aerosmith. The name of the song itself had escaped me, but I recognized the tune rather well. I let a breath pass between my lips as I scanned shops and corners, looking for advertisements and flyers. Anything at all to get me started somewhere…

There!! Taped to a black and grey wall, a bright green piece of paper, upon which in bold letters were the words 'Saturday Open Mic'. I swerved the car, pulling up to the sidewalk. I didn't really want to leave the car idle in Los Angeles, but the paper was all of six feet from the street. Opening the door, I got out, closing it half way. Crossing the short space, I reached up and tore the paper from the wall, holding it lightly in my hand as I turned and retreated to my car. Sliding inside, I had my feet resting on the lip of the sidewalk, a gentle breeze brushing through the inside of the Demon. The paper in my hands, I scanned the bold printed words. An open mic on Saturday at the Mayan Night Club, 1038 South Hill Street. Stage charge was twenty bucks, a good performance could mean tips. I smiled; a first shot. I glanced around, seeing the street sign behind me a good twenty feet away. South Street. I needed south hill. Pulling my feet into the car, I closed my door, setting the paper down on the passenger seat. Restarting the engine, I swerved out onto the street, going just under the limit as I scanned the signs.

Nothing of South Hill for a few miles, but finally I turned left onto it, seeing shops, a mini mall even, and finally a turquoise building just at the end of the street. Next to the door was, big and fancy, the number 1038. I smiled, pulling up to the front of the building and grabbing the paper. Folding it semi-neatly, I crammed it into my back pocket, killing the engine and getting out of the Demon. I closed the door and locked it tight, turning and walking to the front double doors of the building. My palm slid around the handle, and I pulled hard, the door swinging open with a delicate ease. I stepped inside; the club was relatively well lit for being constructed for the night life. Large windows were opened to let in gads and gads of warm rays. There were two flights of stairs, one on each side of the interior. They led up to second level balconies and lofts, another flight of stairs leading up to third story balconies. The walls were all black with neon tubes running in intricate shapes and patterns. Strobe lights, disco balls, and panels upon panels of colored lights were screwed, nailed, and built into the ceiling that loomed high overhead. I stood, mouth dropped open, at the intensity and the ambience of the place. It was gloriously amazing, full of detail despite the fact that the lights and systems were shut off for the day time.

I hadn't noticed the two women and man on the distant stage, nor the elderly fellow in the business suit standing and talking to them until the silence became deafening, and their voices rung out clear to me. "Can I help you with something?" The elderly man asked, his voice strong and powerful even from the distance between us. I snapped my head in his direction and blinked a few times, before nodding once, and walking towards them. The floor was flat, velvety concrete with booths and tables here and there. The centre area was clear for a dance floor— everything was shoved into the walls. My feet felt heavy with every step and I realized a good number of things that I had failed to acknowledge prior to coming. I had no instrument in case I needed to audition, I had no back up plan in case this fell through, and no one else to play with. Fuck…

"Umm, yeah, I saw your flyer for the open mic on Saturday… I apologize for coming on short notice like this, but I was wondering if maybe someone else had signed and they were in need of a bassist?" I frowned lightly in question, looking up at the four people standing on the stage. A woman with dark, curly black hair stepped forward, her face light with youth and painted with shadow and gloss. She was wearing a dark red jacket over a glittery black halter top and black leather pants. Her legs were long and toned; most likely from running or biking. Despite her sexy body, she looked no older than seventeen. I frowned internally; what was a girl of her age doing in a place like downtown L.A., looking for the rockstar life? Shouldn't she be in school?

"We're playing at around midnight on Saturday. We're in need." She said. A buff man with a hard face and buzzed hair shot her a look that was both disapproving and annoyed. His eyes were a cold green color, his muscles tightening beneath his skin, his tattered shirt damp with California sweat. He had on a pair of black cargo pants and military boots; steel-toed, it seemed. Part of me wanted to punch him in the face for the smug look along, but I feared that if I tried such an action, I'd break my hand.

"Suzan, we don't even know of the twig can play." Twig? Who the fuck was he calling a twig?! Suzan spun on her heel to face me.

"Can you?" Suzan asked, her eyes pleading with desperation. I nodded firmly, confidence and honesty burning in my soul. I was sure it was burning in my eyes as well, for Mr. Buzz Cut glanced away, obviously burnt by the fact that I had just told him down without saying shit. I fought the urge to laugh in his face when Suzan disappeared off the stage for a brief moment, returning with a gorgeous, glossy blue bass in her hands. "Here." She said, bending down and handing it to me. A cord ran from it that stretched beyond anything that I could imagine. I plucked a string once, testing the volume. Good enough. I positioned my fingers on the neck, inhaling slowly, before plucking a slow, steady, and easy tune, feeling the fire burning through my fingers as the tune rapidly increased in its speed, become harsher, harder, and darker. I could feel their stares raging through my soul; my heart was pounding into my finger tips, the vibrations of the strings ringing against my flesh. I closed my eyes, letting the memory of chords and timing refresh itself. Faster and faster my fingers moved before the tunes died out and whatever I was playing ended softly. I took a long breath, opening my eyes again and looking up at them.

Their faces were masks, swirling with shock, envy, and amazement. I exhaled, my vocal chords vibrating with a slight chuckle. Even Mr. Buzz Cut was astounded, it seemed. Suzan's face began to light itself into one of the brightest smiles I had ever seen in my life. She knelt down ad swung her legs off the stage, dropping down onto the floor next to me. She closed the small distance, and wrapped her arms around my neck, squishing the bass between us as she hugged me tightly, her breath cool against my neck. I gave her a one-armed hug back, my right hand supporting the bass. I wasn't sure exactly why she was hugging me, but I didn't really want to question it.

"Please, please say you'll play with us on Saturday night." She begged into my shoulder. I gave her a light squeeze, a smile forming on my lips.

"Sure thing." I told her. I could feel her grin spreading into my shirt as her head suddenly snapped up. Her eyes were full of enthusiastic joy that I grinned right back at her, even as she pressed her lips to my cheek.

"Thank you, thank you, thank you so much!! But… God, we haven't even introduced yet!" She was frantic, her breathing becoming light as her eyes danced with playful fire. She pulled away and stuck her hand out to me. "Suzan Callon, lead vocals." She exclaimed. I returned the gesture, shaking her hand in mine.

"Tommy. Tommy Joe Ratliff; bassist." She giggled, and motioned to the other woman and Buzz Cut.

"This is Gianna Louis, our guitarist—" I looked over at her; bright red hair, short and cropped, spiked with gel up in intriguing spikes and angles. Her lids were brushed with red shadow, her eyes smudged with liner. Her lips were a creamy color, in harmony with her flawless skin. She wore a simple black, short sleeved button up shirt and black skinny jeans, bright yellow converse wrapped around her small feet. She looked no older than sixteen. "… and Vincent Sachs, our drummer." Sachs? I fought another urge to laugh aloud and make many a crude jokes about his name. I didn't want to lose respect on day one, but all the same, I wasn't sure how long this would last. Would this be a one night engagement or would it be more long term? Though at the time I didn't care, I was wondering briefly upon the chance of something better. Gianna, Vince, and Suzan looked good enough in their leather, studs, and jewelry, but I wasn't quite convinced. I shook hands with each of them, a smile plastered on my face to hide my concern.

"Well Suzan, seems you got yourself all situated with your bassist problem. Now then, the stage charge for the four of you is going to be eighty. Twenty percent of drink sales will go to you, plus any tips fans decide to give you. You'll play a forty minute set starting at 12:20. Clear?" Mr. Biznyess (say it with me, biz-nn-yessss) said in an official voice, pulling out a paper and motioning us towards the back of the stage. I rested the bass against the edge of the stage, pulling myself up onto it as Suzan, Gianna and Vince followed close behind. Trotting to catch up, I glanced around at the lights and ropes of the back stage, and I smiled to myself. The last time I had been on a stage even remotely like this, I had been in high school.

"All you've got to do now is sign here, here… and here." There were places for initials and signatures on the page. Suzan and Vince signed first, followed by Gianna then myself. For just a moment I felt like I was signing away my very soul, but I shook the notion from my mind. No, if they offered a more full time engagement, then that was cool. If not, well, whatever. It's not like it would be a big deal for me anyway. I didn't know how they played, how they acted together, if they all even really got along with one another. The way I saw a band was that there had to be chemistry, there had to be a family and friendly bond between everybody, and if there was distrust or piling conflicts, then it wasn't worth anything anymore. You could make the sweetest music and play it horribly because of the rest of the band.

I set the pen back down on the small table of which we were signing, staring at my handwriting, scratched into the white page. A small part of me hoped this was a short term engagement, for based on my beliefs, already I knew Vince and I would not get along in the slightest with one another. There was just bad chemistry between us and I didn't want that to affect anything he might have had with Suzan and Gianna. I shook hands with Biz, before shoving my hands into my bright green pants pockets, shuffling beside Gianna as Suzan finished talking to the club owner.

"Alright, Tommy, you can play. In fact, you rock hardcore. So, all I can say is that since we don't have time to pull something together for you. Would it be possible if you just hear the first five, ten seconds of our song tomorrow and play whatever flows for you?" Her voice was calm, questioning, but her eyes were pleading. I stared at her for what seemed like an eternity. She was still a kid, her whole life laid out for however she wanted to make it. True, starting young into the night life and rock'n'roll industry meant you could be popular for years and years, that you'd look amazing on magazines and on TV, that people your own age would look up to you. But Suzan was just barely scraping herself out of high school, it looked like; there wasn't much of a place for her here when she had opportunities. I wanted to place my hands on her shoulders and tell her to go to college and figure out what she really wanted to do. But then again, I wasn't much better.

'_Be the mage. Be the good kid for once, tell her what you want to tell her.'_

'_No, tell her what she wants to hear.'_

'_Tell her to go back to school! This isn't the place for her!'_

'_Quit fucking stalling and tell her you'll see her on Saturday. She's counting on you, are you really gonna let slip an easy score like this?'_

'_School!'_

'_Sex!!'_

I smiled slightly at her. "Not a problem."

'_You. Fucking. Idiot!!'_

'_Oh, you're so getting laid!'_

'_Quit you're complaining, you've got a beautiful girl who would just as soon throw herself at you as she would keep one hundred dollars she found off the street.' _Sad as it was, I favored the idea of a quickie and a chance at the stage more than the benefit of this girl. She was educated enough to know that she wanted the rock start life, why not let her have her chance? After all, I was a shining example, wasn't I? Drinking and partying it up like it was 1989, rocking out on my bass, head banging to metal while banging two girls at once? Getting high off pot and puking in bushes behind night clubs?

Oh yeah, I was _totally_ the icon. Fuck…

'_Too late to do anything about it now__, though. Just gotta deal with it…'_ I thought to myself as I followed Suzan and Gianna out of the empty club, with Vincent not too far behind me, his eyes blazing into my mid back (I could feel the heat). I mused to myself as I waved goodbye to them, unlocking and climbing into my blisteringly hot Demon. The engine roared to life, even when I had no memory of pulling out my keys and putting them into the ignition in the first place. I glanced in my rear view mirror, seeing a dark, lip-shaped stain on my cheek. How the fuck did that get there? I frowned, wiping it away as a quick flash of Suzan stepping up on her toes, pressing her lips to my cheek after hugging me, back inside. Oh yeah. She had kissed me. How could I have missed that she was wearing lipstick? Fucking hell…

I pulled out onto the street, cruising on down the half empty lanes, blaring something by Bon Jovi through the old speakers, thrumming in my ears and pounding into my soul like it was fucking me. I smiled, tapping my fingers to the beat and even singing and there to Living on a Prayer. Driving through Los Angeles, I had a comforting feeling in the pits of my stomach and my soul. But even in the comfort, I couldn't place the chill that crept down my spine as I thought about the gig on Saturday. I pushed it aside as nerves. It was a Saturday night with awesome people, and I would be doing what I loved to do most. Rocking out hardcore. What could happen?


	6. Raven Wings

Weee another chapter! :D BTW: All song lyrics belong to me.**

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Saturday night, 12:17 AM

Backstage, I fidgeted slightly, tugging on the edge of my shirt; a long sleeved black button up, the sleeves pushed up around my elbows. Black skinny jeans clung to my legs, bright red suspenders hanging down beside my thighs. A black and red studded belt was wrapped around my waist through the belt loops, the studs gleaming in the faint light. Bran new boots, knee high over my pants, slight platforms, glossy black. My hair was gelled, spiked up in the back and teased in the front, drooped over my left eye. Thin lines of liner were smudged around my eyes, a light burgundy shadow gracing my lids. I checked the time on my cell phone. Three minutes to our designated time start.

Why had the club owner said Saturday at 12:20, when technically after 11:59:59 it would be Sunday?

'_Thomas, you need to get something to drink, you're being logical again.'_ I thought to myself, taking slow and deep breaths. The club was packed, wall to wall, floor to ceiling with sweaty bodies and voices. We were in a sort of intermission before the music would start again. I could feel my pulse pounding in my ribs and in my throat. I'd been on stage before, but never with a crowd this big. No, the largest crowds had been half this size, if that some days. I gulped, seeing the swarms of bobbing bodies and hands, nervousness gripping at my throat. How many people did the building hold again?

'_The max is seven hundred, due to safety reasons, but we tend to bypass that little rule from time to time. Only on important nights.' _I could still hear Mr. Biznyess' (never learned his name) voice in my head. The club had opened at seven, and wouldn't close until five in the morning. But even an hour into the doors swinging wide open, over six hundred people (my guesstimation) had flocked inside, and more continued to swarm. I took another deep breath, turning away from the stage while crossing to a table near the back. I had asked for a beer, and it had finally been placed on the table. Taking it in one hand, I used the bottle opener in the other, popping the cap and placing the cool glass to my lips. The golden liquid stung my tongue and burned my throat, and I winced slightly, gulping down a third of it. My head swam lightly, and I smiled. No more logic. Just music. Fantastic.

I took another swig, before setting it down. Mr. Biznyess was talking to Suzan as the two of them rounded a corner, walking towards where I stood. Suzan was wearing a tight, black leather corset with lacey sleeves and a collar, a bright red plaid skirt stretching down to her mid thigh, just long enough to keep her ass hidden. Black leggings covered her pale legs, three inch black heels on her feet. She looked good, her black hair done up in a messy bun, her makeup sexy and fresh. She glanced up at me and flashed me a slightly smile. I returned the favor, giving her a small wave. I was half tempted to reach for my beer again when Bizyness gathered us around the table I stood beside.

"Alright, remember. Forty minutes, then you're done. I suggest going for thirty five that way you can get yourselves off stage and packed up before the next gig. Any kind of language and content is fine, if you really want to get into the music, whatever— just no sex on my floor, got it?" We nodded. "Good. It's 12:19 right now, so get out there and have fun. I'll signal you when you've got ten minutes left." He said, before walking out onto the stage to introduce us. Vince had already retreated to his drum set, Gianna walking out to the edge of the stage. Suzan gave me a smile and followed close behind. I shoved my ear pieces deeper, irritated at how uncomfortable they were. I took a long swig of my beer, before walking to the stands, and grabbing my bass. Plugging it in, I walked out and took my place on the stage. The lights were shining into my eyes, and I didn't see people, but I saw shadows, mostly just standing and waiting. Gianna strummed heavy on her guitar, the sound vibrating through the air and through my soul. Vince beat down upon his drums, rhythmic and coarse. Together they were beautiful, powerful and strong. I slid my left hand down the bass neck, plucking on higher strings before falling low. Tingling fire went rampant through my fingers, and I felt myself getting lost. My fingers danced in time and tune, their own melody mingling with that of the others. My head swam from the beer and the atmosphere. Suzan placed her hands on the mic, of which rested in the stand. The shadows were dancing.

"_I've known you too long, you gotta have me, Mister Daddy, Mister Daddy… You wanna play along, and I'll let you. Ooh Daddy, ooh Daddy—_" her voice was clear, pure, but husky with a touch of sinister glee. I glanced over at her, my fingers drawing out a low D, before continuing a rhythm that my soul was more aware of than my conscious itself. Her face was a mask of synthetic perfect, her eyes gleaming with truth. These lyrics were her life. The music was her blood and soul. I gaped at her for a brief second, before looking away, crossing the stage as I played, grinning ear to ear as my bass sang into Gianna's guitar. She smiled shyly back at me, ripping out a short solo.

"_You got a fire deep inside and it's burning you up! You gotta dance all night, but I won't give you up!_" Her voice went high, into a passionate screech that was both melodious and intoxicating. Unison collided with passion and Gianna and I strummed hard as Vince wailed, Suzan's voice ringing. The crowd was into it, I could hear. Suzan continued to sing well into the chorus, but I was lost in a world where singing was not a priority to me. She had given me the lyrics and said that if I wanted to sing at all, the chorus would be fine to memorize. If not, she said she wouldn't be mad. I wasn't much for singing, though people had told me I had a good voice. I swayed back to where I had originally entered on stage, on Suzan's left.

"_Hello Daddy— take me, Daddy, to the midnight show, Daddy. The midnight show of you and me, a midnight show for two, only you, only me— Mister Daddy…_" Through the chorus again, the song began to slow. Gianna strummed delicately, Vince's drums were barely audible. I played soft, low strings of quiet passion. Suzan stared out at the crowd blankly, as if not seeing them but a distant memory. I kept my head low, but my eyes were on her as she played.

"_Momma don't like it, you're around too much and not with her. She's snooping, finding what you're doing, and she don't like much…_" The music got heavy again, Suzan's eyes blazing with fiery passion as her voice grew louder and louder into the mic. The shadows were once swaying and now they were rocking. "_She's found you with me, and she's on the floor— wondering why you're with me. I'm your baby, and she don't like it too much!!_" Heavy again, hardcore rocking out like the hounds of hell would rip our heads off if we didn't play hard. Gianna ripped out a solo, Suzan clapped her hands, getting the mob of shadows to join her. Vince was pounding hard, sweat flying off of his body— but it was good. My fingers moved faster and faster still, swift plucks and hard strums, I found feel the blood rushing through my head, into my heart, and down to my fingers as I played. One last run through of the chorus, Gianna and Vince died out, so it was between me and Suzan. Her voice, my bass— nothing sounded so sweet.

She finished her lyric as I strummed hard, one last time. The sounds, bouncing off the walls, began to lose their energy, and the inky darkness went wild with explosions of light on the dance floor. Cries of amazement and joy, ecstasy and liquor. I grinned ear to ear, breathing hard as I looked over at Suzan and Gianna. They looked like they had tears in their eyes from happiness. They hadn't experienced such response from the audience while on stage it seemed. To be filled with the sounds of approval made them giddy. They were basking in their own glory.

Suzan motioned for me, and I crossed the stage, standing beside her. She placed her palm over the mic and leaned into my ear, murmuring the chords she wanted me to start with. After that, I'd be able to play whatever I desired. I nodded once, and slowly walked stage left, positioning my fingers gently on the neck. I played them, softly, for a few moments, before Vince eased in with the bass drum and symbols. This was meant to be a slower song, that much I knew. Gianna strummed gently; they all knew what they were playing, and I had no clue. But it didn't really matter to me, nor did it bother me. They were assured that I'd do whatever I could to play along with their music, but keeping it my own. When had I had that kind of freedom before? Ha, never, that's right. Fucking high school bands…

"_It burns going down, I never noticed it before. But now I see that it burns going down— with every cheating heart, with every faithful liar, I see… It burns going down. But I don't stop it, I'm afraid to; afraid to defy what I've been subjected to, a life of sweet agony. It tastes good, but it burns going down…_" I slipped into my own melody, keeping their sound and their rhythm. How ironic that the words themselves seemed to apply to my life? Sweet agony… Subjected to sweet agony… True… So fucking true…

"_With every nocturnal pigeon, spreading wings of sin across a faithful mother's sorrowful face, she too knows that it burns going down. And I want to take the glass mirror, and throw it across the room— never to see the sight of that fucking pigeon…_" Suzan's voice was filled with sorrow, anger and rage. I looked up at her through the veil of my hair, seeing a blank expression. Her voice masked the words of the song, but her visual performance seemed to lack. She was uncomfortable letting herself go with these lyrics. I bowed my head, continuing to play as she continued to sing a song about a life of empty bottles and temptations. She didn't really look at the audience, she looked beyond them. I didn't blame her. I didn't want to look at them either, the beer bubbling in the acids of my stomach.

"_But I know every night, as I feel is burn, going down, I see that nocturnal beast and I understand— I'm never leaving, I'm never defying. So here's to my love, here's to my life. I'll raise the glass to my lips and feel it burn going down…_" Gianna strummed gently, as if she was just rhythm. Vince played soft, and I saw Suzan give me a look. I went from mere bass playing to a harsh bass solo. The veins in my arms lifted against my skin, pulsing angry lines of blue blood as I drug out a long note. I breathed hard, sweat glistening against my skin. I swooshed my hair out of the way as my own little solo ended, and the song continued, louder and harder than before, but nothing like the first song.

"_The nocturnal pigeon will caress my shoulders and whisper in my ear— one final word of thanks. Thanks for understanding. And I'll raise it to my head, and I won't feel it burn anymore…_" The music and the lyrics faded out, the audience cheered. The energy had died a little, but they were still enthusiastic. I dropped my hands from the bass, cracking my knuckles and flexing my fingers. It was evident I needed to play more often, since my hands were stiff from only two songs. I glanced to my left, seeing that Biznyess signaling about twenty minutes left. I nodded once, suddenly wishing I had my beer out on stage with me. But I didn't want to leave and go get it, especially after a song like that.

Through the night though, I felt like I was being watched. I was aware that hundreds of people were watching us play, but it was a different sensation. It felt like someone's eyes were on me the entire time, analyzing my playing, raping my soul with their gaze. Shivers had trembled their way down my spine every few minutes, but I tried not to let it bother me. I played hard, enjoying the pulsing of my heart and the sex of music. And as such, the remainder of our set went by in a brilliant but emotional flash. We played two more up beat songs, one gut-wrenching, and a sort of ballad. The gut-wrenching seemed to stick with me though, the words haunting from memory and life. Suzan either was great with putting emotion into the songs, or she herself had written them from her own life. The words clung to the edge of my tongue through the rest of our stage time. Even as I played happier tunes and the ballad, my mind had wrapped itself around her voice…

_Your words made me feel like a dirty whore, bent backwards for your pedophilic pleasure, bent forwards for your animalistic desires, standing straight so you can knock me down, curled into a ball so you can pick me up…_

_Long nights lying awake, thinking about what I did for you, only to realize you did nothing for me. I lied, I cheated, I defied and I bled for your behalf, and all you ever gave back was memories and words tattooed onto my heart. Tattoos that can be removed, but the ugly scars will always remain. Was that all I was to you— your little whore that you could fuck around with for a few months before forgetting about?_

Mere pieces, but such fragments left me disturbed. I had heard songs of horrendous tragedy and defiance, but Suzan's cool, angry, and bewitched voice had left me with a kind of fear for her that was unimaginably cruel. What kind of a man had done such to her, if in fact they were her words? I wanted to cross the stage and hold her, in front of the hundreds of people watching. I wanted to wrap my arms around her and tell her it was gonna be okay, despite the fact I had known her for all of three days. Three days could do a lot, though, as I had learned. Three days could do so much…

We took our bows after the ballad, and left the stage. I unplugged my bass and walked to where my case was sitting. Easing my instrument inside, I glanced at all the photos and memories taped on the inside, before smiling to myself. So many pictures of myself and Alex, along with old friends I hadn't seen since high school. Jay, Matt, Derek, Gina, Paul, Sofia, Belinda, Christa… I was amazed at the names I could remember, the faces of the past that were still fresh, despite the summers of parties, alcohol, and college. I snapped the case shut, locking it tight. Lifting the bass, I grabbed my beer and exited the club through the back door, walking down the back alley towards where I had parked my car. It was in a gated area for safe keeping. Punching in the code to the gate's keypad, I slid inside the space, and popped the trunk of my Demon, placing my bass safely inside. Slamming the trunk shut, I locked the car tight, and retreated back into the club through the door of which I had come.

A DJ had started playing mixes while the next band got ready. Gulping down another chunk of my beer, I slid passed people I didn't know and people I had seen throughout the night. There was no sign of Suzan, Gianna, or Vince, but I figured I'd be seeing them again sometime soon. I took another swig, stepping down a small flight of stairs and walking through a set of double doors, out onto the main floor of the club. The atmosphere was warm, neon lights and strobes pulsing with color and delicate flashes in time with the DJ's work of art. I smiled to myself, slipping past people here and there. Sometimes people would grab at me or touch my clothes, saying that they loved hearing me play, that the set was awesome, that I was talented. I regarded them with smiles and words of thanks, pushing by (gently, mind you. I'm not rude like that) and towards the back of the club, where people surrounded the bar. I wanted something stronger, something to make the night interesting.

"Excuse me, pardon me, sorry…" I muttered half the time, shoving past people. The music got heavy, the atmosphere thick with sex as some kind of a techno-rap mix played. I could see shadows grinding and thrusting into one another. I had half a mind to join them. 'You're not drunk enough yet to not care— hold those horny horses, you dipshit.' I told myself. My beer was empty, and I set the bottle on a vacant table as I tried relentlessly to close the distance between the bar and myself. I turned my head, apologizing to someone to whom I had pushed. A light passed over a face and I stopped suddenly. A paled face, midnight hair, but the eyes… They were dangerous, they were filled with lust… Eyes…

Eyes that could see through anything and anyone... Why was he staring at me? Amidst the darkness, I could feel those eyes of clean-cut perfectious orbs digging into my soul, searching me, violating me. What so was special about me that I deserved this attention from a man who glowed under the light as it passed him like a gust of air from an oscillating fan? Swirling mists of cobalt flashed with a mischievous gleam, and the light faded from his face as he turned towards me. The sudden lack of light in the club left me disoriented, but even though I was aware only mere seconds had passed, I felt a chilled presence standing awfully close, his silhouette looming over me like a raven folding its wings around me. I took a small step back, suddenly off balance.

"Easy there…" He said, grabbing my shoulder. Even through my clothes, my skin turned icy from his touch. Or was that just him?

"Sorry, you surprised me there." I told him. His hand dropped; my shoulder felt numb. He laughed a little, and chills ran down my spine as another light flashed over him. I stared up at him, in awe at the realization of exactly _who_ was standing in front of me. How had I not recognized the styled hair, the smudged eyes, and the smirk of utter glorious perfection? I had stared at my TV screen for weeks, intrigued by his voice and his performances. I gaped for a second, before closing my mouth. "My apologies, I didn't realize who you were…" I said softly. He laughed again, and a blush covered my face.

"It's alright— but how about a formal introduction?" He held out his hand for mine. "I'm Adam Lambert." I hesitated for a brief moment, before reaching up and taking his ice-cold palm in mine. I shivered. Why was he so cold?

"Tommy Joe Ratliff." I replied. Even in the darkness, I could see him smiling at me.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Tommy."

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Comment please~ :D


	7. Hallucinogenic Toxins

**Shit!!! Sorry bout that mistake. This one was supposed to come first!!!

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**

Early Sunday morning, 1:03 AM

"You seem to be in a hurry. Can I get you a drink?" Adam said with a million dollar smile, flashing brilliant, white, perfect teeth. I gaped at him for a moment, before closing my mouth and dropping my hand from his icy grasp. I casually shoved it into my pocket, trying to put feeling back into the numbness of my nerves. Was he always this cold? It didn't look like it on Idol, so what the hell? Here he stood in front of me in all of his glam-star glory, and he looked so pale. True, he'd been pale on Idol, but fuck… This was bordering upon ghostly. I mentally shook my head, wiping away these confused thoughts about Adam's skin, and I focused more upon the fact that Adam-fucking-Lambert was standing in front of me, offering to buy me a mother-fucking drink!!

"S-sure." I stammered, feeling heat rushing to my face. Fuck. Just great. One of my first sentences to _Adam Lambert_, and I stammer. Fan-freaking-tabulous. Adam grinned and walked in a fluid motion towards the bar. I stared at his hips and legs as he moved, wondering if secretly he was walking on air or through water. The tails of his jacket flowed gently behind him, slowly disappearing into the dark crowd. I scrambled to follow after him, trying to act as natural as I could. But it was hard to be natural when I was in the presence of a freaking superstar icon. I exhaled softly, uncaring at the harsh wail of vocals from the stage. Whoever was singing needed to be shot.

Adam slid up between two people at the bar— people too drunk to realize who was standing next to them. I slid up beside him, shivering as I was pressed against his cold body. But I tried not to let him notice it, though. Despite his freezing body temperature, his presence was oddly comforting. A paled bartender, wearing smudged liner and a pair of leather pants with a ripped t-shirt, turned toward us, drying out a shot glass. Adam shouted an order of two drinks, though I couldn't be sure what he was saying, the noise around us was too great. I glanced over at him, taking in the spikes of his raven hair, the perfect smudging of liner, the darkened shadow. There was even glitter on his face and his clothes. He sparkled under the neon lights of the Mayan.

I watched the bartender mix various alcohols into a container, shaking it up like a plastic bag of fish. I glanced at Adam as he slid a twenty across the counter. Generous. Damn. The tender poured the clear liquid into two tall shot glasses. Adam grabbed them both and turned to me, holding one out. I took it between my thumb, index and middle fingers. He smiled, giving me a nod with his head, before pouring the drink into his mouth and throwing his head back to swallow. I returned the favor, shooting it down in one gulp. The drink scoured my throat with flaming barbed wire and salt. It hit rock bottom in my stomach, the acids burning the lining of my insides and sending blood to my head, making me sway. Adam's cold hand gripped my elbow, keeping me upright.

"Damn…" I muttered, glancing at the empty glass. "What was that?"

"Little special something only the bartender and I know of." He said with a smirk. I eyed him warily, before setting the glass down on the counter and stepping closer to the inky mass of the dance floor. I could feel Adam's presence, for in contrast of the heated atmosphere, he was a gust of cool air pressing into the back of my neck. I felt like I should have been more nervous around him, that I should have been bowing and kissing his boots and praising his glory. But there was a natural casualty between us that I felt comfortable with. True, his cold skin and devilish smirk made me a little edgy, but I could look beyond that. There was something about him…

"So, is there any particular reason you picked me out of the crowd of over a thousand?" I asked him. He looked at me, his cobalt eyes studying my face and trailing over my hair. I kept my face towards him, but I stared beyond him— I couldn't look into those eyes. There was something there that was both unfamiliar and strange; I couldn't look into it yet… Adam smiled lightly, and motioned for me to follow him again. I frowned slightly, walking close behind him as he led me to an abandoned table, tucked away in a dark corner of the club. It was slightly quieter, most likely due to the fact that we were sheltered off from the noise of the stage and the pounding of feet on the dance floor. Adam sat down on a stool, and I sat across from him. He folded his hands neatly in front of him.

"Listen— it's, what, early November?" He began.

"November third." I informed him. He chuckled darkly, and a tremble ran down my spine.

"November third. I've got a performance on the AMA's in a little less than three weeks. Now— I just saw you play, and I've gotta say you're pretty damned amazing. I was wondering something…" He trailed off, staring towards some other direction of the club. I could feel my heart racing in my chest. He couldn't seriously be asking me what I thought he was about to ask…

"Yeah?" I said, urging him to continue. His gaze shifted back to me, and I had to fight the urge to look away. It was almost as if he was mocking me with those cobalt eyes. I stared him down for a long while, determined that I would not look away first. He chuckled again, dropping his eyes to his hands. I didn't punch the air in victory, but I did smile rather smugly, before letting it fade as he continued to talk, his voice low. He was barely audible over the music, and I had to lean closer to him to hear what he was saying.

"I was wondering if you'd like to play with my band and me. We're short on a bassist. I figured with a man of your skill, you'd be the one to ask." I stared at him for a long while. True, based on how he had started to ask me, I expected it greatly. But still— the fact that a man like Adam Lambert was asking me to join his band and play with him… I was beyond stoked. I was ecstatic and overjoyed. _'Fuck, I could just kiss you!'_ I paused, mentally frowning for a moment. Wait… Did I just tell myself that I could kiss _Adam Lambert_?!

'_Just stop thinking, you moron. It's obviously the drink he bought you…_'

I hadn't realized I had been spacing until Adam's pale hand waved in front of my face for a moment. I blinked, and refocused on him. His expression went from puzzled to humored. I felt the blood rush to my face and I ran my fingers through my hair as he laughed, low and dark. I lifted my gaze back up to him, seeing a sparkling smile that made my chest hurt. I wanted to slap myself and question my frantic heartbeat, but I wasn't given the chance when his playful smile slid into a sexy smirk. My eyes narrowed slightly as he folded his hands together and tucked them under his chin. His head tilted to the side and he eyed me carefully, analyzing my face and searching for an answer.

"So what's it gonna be?" He said softly. I stared down at the table in front of us. There was a part of me that wanted to join him. To play on stage next to him— play his songs. All my life I had wanted the rock-star freedom and fame. True, the paparazzi didn't sound too pleasing, but I could live with that. I wanted to be recognized for something that I was good at, and bass was my passion. Playing with a man like Adam Lambert would open so many doors for me, so many more possibilities. It had been a dream to rock out and be idolized for what I loved to do— and Adam was presenting that very dream on a silver platter to me (well, in this case, an icy breath).

But all the same, I had signed for the gig tonight with Suzan and her band. They didn't mention a long term engagement, but what if they did want me long term? Would it be right of me to abandon them and play for a superstar? I sighed, running my fingers through my hair gently. I didn't know what to do. Abandon newfound friends for a bigger, better chance? I could feel Adam's eyes on me as I puzzled over it. He probably didn't expect for me to hesitate for so long, if at all. I lifted my head, glancing across the club. Light flared and I could see Suzan's bright smile and black hair swirling as she danced. Was it Suzan, or was it just my imagination?

'_If you don't take this offer, it may never rise again. He could just as easily find someone else if you say no._'

'_But all the same, if you take the offer, you could be potentially letting down three new friends. Three new band mates. Are you sure you want to deal with that?_'

'_Take the deal— this is Adam Lambert we're talking about!_'

'_Don't you dare, Thomas. If you take his offer because you're dazzled by his seductive smile, then you're truly lost. Suzan's counting on you to be her bassist._'

'_Take it!_'

'_Don't!!_'

'_DO IT!_'

"Just for the AMA's?" I asked. He smiled victoriously.

"No, it stretches well beyond the AMA's. We'll rehearse one song from the new album that'll be coming out the day after the show. It's all set, all you've gotta do is practice it, attend rehearsals, and we're golden. And from there, it's you, me, the rest of the band, interviews, photo shoots, shows, rabid fans, and traveling." He said with a smile. A long term deal. This could go for months to years. The idea appealed to me greatly; to be on the road playing and partying and just living life like it was all a dream that never ended. I exhaled softly, my heart beat slowing to a more normal level. I wondered briefly if he could hear it at all.

"So, you in?" He asked, smiling slightly. I glanced up at him, straightening my posture a little.

"I'm in." A grin broke out in his face, and I thought for a moment that he would start laughing. He held out his hand to me, and instinctively I took it in my own, despite the chill. I shook it firmly, and his eyes burned with fire.

"Pleasure to have you, Tommy." He said, glancing to his left and motioning for someone to come over— turned out to be a passing waiter. He bowed his head towards Adam's lips, nodding as Adam whispered something into his ear. I frowned as the waiter left, and I turned my confused look upon Adam, who merely smiled. "Another round of drinks, completely on me." I nodded once as he tapped his fingers to the drum beat of the current song that was playing. I twiddled my thumbs (literally) in front of me, wondering what to say, or if I should say anything at all.

"So where're you from, Tommy?" Thank God, Adam. You ended the awkward silence with a fucking typical question.

"Sacramento. You?" He smiled.

"San Diego." I was amazed— a man as pale as he was from a place such as San Diego? No way…

"Damn." I muttered as a waiter slid four shot glasses onto our table, the same clear liquid swirling within. I was skeptical for a moment to drink any more of it, but Adam had taken one into his hand. I took one of my own, tipping the edge against his, before pouring it into my mouth and throwing my head back. The throat-burning pain returned, though it wasn't nearly to the degree that it had been before. Adam swallowed just after I had, and smiled, exhaling loudly as his eyes met mine. I felt my fingers tingling around the second shot glass. Adam smirked, and tipped his to me, before throwing it back as I did.

'_This is going to make me really shitfaced, I can already tell._' I told myself, but I didn't care. How many people got to sit down and take shots with Adam Lambert? Actually— I'd never really known Adam to be much of a drinker. This thought made me curious as to how he could hold his own so well when after a beer and three shots I was seeing colors swirling that I should not have been seeing before. It was strange; the strobe lights were leaving streams of white while the neon symbols and pips were flaring brighter and brighter before fading out and flaring again. I blinked once, shaking my head slightly. Was the drink laced with LSD? Fuck…

It had to be LSD. The music seemed louder, the lights seemed brighter. My head was swimming with colors and noises, I wanted to cup my hands over my ears, squeeze my eyes shut and just block out the world. But all the while as I trailed my finger tips over the cool glass from the shot, I could feel his eyes burning into my face and being. Like he was tearing me apart and hunting down my very soul, looking for something to devour. Invisible fingers dug their nails into my temples, pounding as if they had hammers behind them. One hand gripped the edge of the table to keep me from falling, but the world continued to spin around me. I couldn't tell really what was up or what was down. Things were strange and loud and too much… I wanted to curl up and sleep.

'_What the hell did he give me?_' I wondered— it was my only straightforward thought. I glanced up, feeling sweat on my brow. Adam's face was concerned, but his eyes were laughing. He knew exactly what I was going through, and he was enjoying every minute of my discomfort. '_What the fuck…?_' I thought. I had never imagined Adam to be this… cruel. I was losing my mind over three shots of some fucked-up concoction and he wasn't doing diddly squat to help me with it! He just sat there, taunting me as I suffered from his stupid little drink…

"I'm… sorry… I need to go…" I muttered. Adam nodded once, sliding off his stool as I stumbled out of mine. His hand rested at the small of my back, and I shivered, his palm freezing my shirt to my skin. I wanted him to let go of me, but he was the only thing keeping me upright. I shoved passed people, trying to keep myself upright as I moved. Where was the door? Where had I parked my car? Was I even able to drive myself back to the apartment? Would Alex still be awake? If I got there, would he lecture me about drinking again? What would I tell him about Adam? Too many questions for my drunk brain. Far too many for me to handle all at once.

I hadn't noticed that Adam had wrapped my arm over his shoulders and that he was supporting my deadening weight as we exited the club. All I really did notice was that the hot atmosphere became warm, and my entire right side of my body was rapidly turning cold. My head lolled and crashed against his chest. He was talking, but I couldn't quite hear what he was saying. His voice was distant and garbled. As if he was down a tunnel and he had been smoking for forty years. I exhaled heavily, wishing to die. The alcohol was burning my stomach and my liver, my head was spinning in circles faster than I could blink. I would tragically fail a walk-the-line test for certain.

There were multiple voices, and the chill of Adam's body vanished from mine as I was positioned on a squishy seat. Cotton and fabric— this wasn't my car. But at the time I didn't really care. I wasn't required to stand, and that was all I wanted. To be able to sit and relax. I heard Adam's cool voice talking to someone else, who's harsh, lower voice was crisp in the night air. What time was it? Would the apartment be unlocked? Would Alex kick me out for drinking so much? My head pounded angrily against my eyes, and I squeezed them shut from the world. I didn't want to be blinded by city lights, if there were any at all. There was motion and my stomach churned beneath my skin. I wanted to puke.

What was it that Adam had given me? Why was it so strong, even after only three small shots? Would it kill me? Would it poison me? Fuck, no. Alcohol in general poisoned me, and even though I drank far more than that before, it never amounted to anything such as poisoning. Who was I kidding— it was harmless drinking with Adam Lambert, right? Just a few shots…

My head rested against the window of the car. Who was driving? Was I driving and I wasn't aware? I could see city streets, but I was certain my eyes were closed. Streets… Passing streets and lights, and brilliant cobalt eyes, like swirling oceans of dangerous proportions… Eyes and a fantastic, devilish smile, with perfect, pearly white teeth.


	8. Blood Brothers

**Enjoy! :D

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**

Early Sunday, 2:16 AM

There was a part of him saying that he could have approached the situation just a little bit differently. That he didn't _have_ to get the boy drunk off of the three shots, and that _maybe_ he didn't have to pressure him into the job of being his bassist. But as it was, they _were_ in a dire need of a bassist for later shows and songs in general. However, Adam wasn't really thinking in terms of just the AMA's. He wanted shows, future albums… He wanted that boy to perform with them… He wanted that boy for everything he was worth— the face, the hair, the flesh, the blood… Oh God… He felt a tremor in his hands and in his spine, his mouth watering. The _blood_…

He shook himself of it though. '_Not now… You've already had your fill for the night…_' He told himself, watching the two-toned hair from the back alley speed down the street in the car, pressed against the glass of the passenger window. Part of him wanted to rip out his cell phone and call Monte, telling the guitarist to bring the boy back just so he could have him. But he kept his cell phone tucked safely in his pocket, his desires locked away like a denied beast. His hands were at his sides as he turned back, stepping into the inky darkness of the club again, the music pulsing from the DJ's sound system. He hadn't noticed the second band finish and pack up. He'd been preoccupied with other individuals.

Adam slid back through the crowd like a hot blade through butter. Due to the flashing lights and swirling shadows, not many people knew he was there. This served to be quite pleasant for him, since he didn't have much of an interest being swarmed at the moment. He heard a hiss and knew that the fog machines overhead were turning on— must've been a more sensual and mysterious side to the music. He smirked, and eased himself through, his eyes cutting through the fog. The atmosphere was thick with the desire for sex and binge drinking. He would have been swarmed by ecstasy as well, but the Mayan prohibited such drugs, and anyone caught tripping off of it would be kicked out.

His eyes fell upon the paled bartender, who was pulling himself from the counter. Probably taking a break from his shift. Adam eased himself past a chunk of six or seven sweaty people dancing. A few of them jumped at his icy aura, but he was already devoured by darkness when they were ripped from their trances. The bartender was gliding through the flashing darkness, and Adam had to push himself a little faster to catch up with the man. His fingers curled around the equally icy bicep. The smudged eyes turned upon Adam, at first with caution, then with recognition. These two men knew one another well. The bartender cocked his head for Adam to follow, and the glam star did.

It seemed as if with the sudden darkness and the green laser lights pulsing, the fog and heaviness of marijuana— which was a slight surprise to Adam— they were able to pass through the crowds better. Adam followed the tender up a flight of stairs, round the fenced balcony, and up another flight of stairs, towards the depths of the club. They were heading to a private room, for employees and celebrities only. Adam turned his head and stared down at the grinding masses, seeing the lust on hundreds of faces as the green lights slid over like water. He smiled to himself, turning a blackened corner and walking down a hall, passing door after door. The tender stopped at a vacant room, shoving the door open. He and Adam slipped into a lush velvety room with faux tiger fur carpets, two leather couches, a TV set, stereo system, and a mini bar. Adam shut the door behind him as the other vampire slid to the mini bar, mixing up drinks for them. The glam star rolled his hips as he walked, before plopping down on one of the leather couches.

"How is he?" The tender asked. Adam smirked.

"Rejecting." He replied plainly. The vampire lifted his head.

"Really?"

"Really."

He nodded once, shaking up the alcohol concoction before pouring it into two shot glasses; the contents looking like watered down wine. He carried them in his cold hands, handing one to Adam as he sat down next to the glam star. Adam lifted the shot to his lips, throwing his head back as he poured it deep into his throat, feeling the burn of vodka mixed with sweet, chilled blood. He smiled slightly, sliding the empty shot onto the table in front of him. He rested his head in his hand, his elbow leaning against the back of the couch. His eyes wavered over to the other man beside him, who was just sliding his shot onto the table as well.

"How much did you put in?" Adam asked, his tone serious. The tender looked bored.

"No more than the others. It's your fault for buying him two more rounds after what I'd given you, though. But I'm surprised his body is rejecting it like this. The others began to change within an hour of consumption. Why isn't he?" Adam stared at the empty glasses on the table, wondering the same question himself. Why hadn't the boy begun to change once the liquor mix touched his tongue? It should have seeped in instantly, but by his reaction, it was as if it passed over his tongue like nothing and made it course through his system. The mixes of vodka and light tequila were to cover the burn. But with the amount that he had consumed in such a short time… No…

"I don't know, Joshua. The others would drink one, two at most, and beginning paling out. They'd feel pain as it devoured their life. But Tommy just grew sick. He's different…" Adam trailed off, remembering how the boy was on the verge of keeling over to bring back what he had taken. His eyes had the wild look of hallucination, and that was unusual as well. Yes, his body was rejecting it completely, that was absolutely certain. But why? Why was he so different? Adam could find himself puzzling over it all night if he really let himself slip like that. But Joshua's fingers waved in front of his face.

"Yo— you're spacing, Adam. Wake up." He said softly. Adam chuckled, pinching the bridge of his nose gently.

"It would seem so." He opened his eyes and glanced over to Joshua, seeing the face paler than normal, the eyes sunk in and the red irises fringing behind the humane brown. Adam clicked his tongue against the roof of his mouth, and Joshua frowned, his dyed red hair and blackened tips framing his angular face.

"You haven't fed recently, have you?" Adam asked. Joshua looked away, looking older than normal. His skin appeared dry, almost scaly. Adam reached over, trailing his fingers along the younger man's pale arm. His red-brown eyes slid to Adam's fingers, and he stared as he spoke.

"No. I've been meaning to but I guess it just… slips my mind…" Adam tilted his head to the side, curiosity on his tongue and concern in his cobalt eyes. Joshua looked almost sickly. He needed to feed. He needed blood.

"Scatterbrain much, Joshua?" Adam chuckled as Joshua pushed his hand away, a smile peeling at his lips.

"Shut up, Adam. Though I must say, you're looking healthy today. Have you fed?" Adam smirked, glancing at the neon clock hanging above the mini bar.

"Only about three hours ago. The first was rather… dissatisfying, but I was pleased with the rebound." He laughed, his voice bouncing around in the sound-proofed room. Joshua's eyes were glazed over with hunger as he reached over, the tips of his fingers trailing from Adam's temple down to his chin. He tilted his fingers down, lightly scraping his nails against Adam's skin. The glam star smirked as Joshua's fingers gripped his chin, pulling him forward. He knew what the boy needed, and he was willing to give— anything for a friend. For a brother. For that's what all vampires were— brothers and sisters of sin and blood.

"Really? Don't suppose you want to share that warmth, do you?" Joshua asked, his voice touched with lust and hunger. Adam chuckled, pulling himself from Joshua's grasp and pushing his lips against the boy's. He could feel the desire for blood in Joshua's kiss, and he had to fight from laughing into those pale lips. His hands wound deep into the fiery hair, pulling gently as he pressed himself over the boy. One of his hands dropped from the feathery mane, and he popped a few buttons from his shirt free, exposing his white chest and throat. He pulled away from Joshua's lips, his thumb nail trailing over the icy flesh of his neck. Brown eyes swirled red as Joshua pressed his mouth to the wound in Adam's neck, his tongue gliding over the red line. Adam's eyes slid shut as his mouth hung open in a low moan, his hands gripping the small shoulders as he dragged the boy down over him. Joshua's legs straddled Adam's hips as he drank slowly. He couldn't have too much, for then he would leave Adam needing to feed for the third time that night. He needed enough to get him by for another day or two at the least.

Joshua's tongue flicked against the opening, and Adam's hips lifted into the younger vampire's groin. Two equally sensual moans of pleasure were locked in their throats. The warmth was draining from Adam's stomach, his head fuzzy. His fingers trailed up and wound themselves into Joshua's flame-like hair, pulling hard. The younger vampire groaned into Adam's neck, his tongue warm with sticky blood. Adam thrust his hips upward again, his erection suffocating beneath his tight pants. If Joshua drank anymore, Adam wouldn't be able to keep himself from fucking him. The glam star knew this to be certain, and Joshua was beginning to push the limit.

"Joshua— stop…" Adam whispered hoarsely, the Netherlands of his body on fire. The bartender pressed harder into Adam's neck, pouring another fill between his lips, before prying himself away. Adam gasped, the burning in his body beginning to cease now that he wasn't being fed upon. Joshua licked his stained lips and stared down into Adam's now crimson eyes. The bartender smirked and knelt back down, pressing his mouth to Adam's gently. Sweet, chaste, and satisfying; Joshua pulled away and climbed off of Adam. His skin looked healthier, his eyes not so rabid. Adam pushed himself up onto his elbows, his hand reaching up and wiping away the spit and blood on his neck. The wound was already beginning to heal.

"Sorry— I didn't think I would need so much." Joshua said with slight shame. But Adam waved him off.

"It's alright. You didn't dry me out or anything." He said with a smirk, exhaling a long breath before pushing himself up into a sitting position. Joshua sat with his knees drawn up to his chest, his back against the arm of the couch. His red hair fell over his face, the black tips touching his nose. Adam let out an exhausted breath, the pressure of his erection beginning to fade away. He wanted to whine and have Joshua _fix _it for him, but he knew that the bartender would never really do it. There were boundaries that they had set. Feeding off one another and little kisses here and there maybe, never anything beyond that. They had set a line of brotherhood; to break it would mean a lot of complications.

Adam shifted, glancing at the clock. It was well beyond three in the morning. He sighed, and stood from the couch, Joshua's eyes pressing into his back. He stretched his arms above his head, a relaxed breath rolling off of his tongue and spilling down his spine. He dropped his arms and shoved his hands into his back pockets of his jeans, before turning to the bartender. "I'm jetting for the night. Gotta call the boy and make arrangements for the new bassist to come meet the team." He said with a smirk as Joshua chuckled darkly, standing as well to follow the glam star out of the room.

"He really joined?" Joshua asked, curious. Adam smiled.

"Yep. He seemed pretty chill about it. Though I can tell he's a little edgy about me." Adam said coolly, pulling the door open and shutting the light as Joshua followed him. He closed the door and walked side-by-side with the tender down the hall.

"Gee, I can't imagine why." Joshua said sarcastically, nudging Adam into the wall. The raven haired man laughed lightly, the blood rushing through his veins and making him feel like he was floating. Sometimes though, he missed having the pulse of his heart in the depths of his chest. He missed the swell and drop of true emotions, but the memories were vivid enough that he more often than not felt no different from his humane life. Adam could feel the thump of the bass from the music in the floor, ringing through his boots and up into his senses. He smiled slightly as he and Joshua passed down the flights of stairs, mingling into the crowd. It had thinned a little, but not by much. The atmosphere still thick as ever.

"I've gotta get back to work." Joshua said. Adam gave him a nod, and the red head disappeared into the darkness of the swarming crowds. He slipped by, careful not to touch anyone or let people see him for more than a passing moment. The club was flashing with light here and there. He could make out faces of people he'd seen before, along with complete strangers. There was a flash of black lacey hair and a creamy face, and he smirked at the dancing Alanis Morisette wannabe, Suzan. At least she was enjoying her night. She didn't know yet that her bassist now belonged to a glam icon. '_She'll find out soon enough. She'll attend a rehearsal and find him to be a no call, no show… I wonder how she'll feel…_' Adam thought blankly as he slipped from the Mayan, out into the cool night. The street was empty of cars and of people. Most had gone home or were tucked away in the safety of other clubs and bars. Adam walked down the street's sidewalk, his boots scraping against the concrete as he passed the back alley where Tommy and Monte had disappeared. The black Demon he'd seen before was gone, and he could only assume Monte had someone take it back. He couldn't be sure. Maybe it had been stolen.

'_Unlikely. It was well hidden in the shadows._' He mused, glancing up into the skylight. The stars were blocked away by all the city light and smog. He felt a pang of longing. He missed the stars. The shred of almighty gleam of the Universe. The Universe had granted him his long-lasting dream of being a performer. And here he was in L.A., unable to see even a glimmer of that very Universe that made his human dreams a reality. True enough, he'd be able to thank the Universe for years to come, for he was a creature of immortal darkness. But even in the everlasting life, he would always hold supernatural love for the granting of his dreams. He dropped his head, his hair falling over his face as he walked on down the street.

There was a buzz, and he pulled his cell phone from his front pocket. He smiled slightly, pressing a button on the screen, and holding it up to his ear. "Hey baby." He said coolly.

"Hey. Where are you, it's after three in the morning?" The voice said softly. Too softly. Adam would have been questioning the quietness of it, but he was just more than glad that his baby had called at all. They hadn't talked for most of the day.

"I'm sorry— I'm on my way home now. Where are you at?" He asked, wondering of the answer that he would get.

"I was at a friend's house. I'm on my way out now though, he ended up passing out." Adam nodded once. So he'd see his baby at home. He smiled.

"Mmkay. Will you be there soon?"

"Yeah— I'm actually heading to the car now." He said.

"Okay. I should be at the condo in… twenty minutes?" He guessed, pausing at the end of the street. He could almost hear the smile in his baby's voice.

"Mmkay honey. I'll see you soon. I love you." Adam grinned ear to ear.

"I love you too, Drake." The call ended, and Adam slid his phone back into his pocket. The street was dimly lit; he'd passed a larger part of the heftier city. He glanced over his shoulder, checking briefly any lit windows or cars. None at all. He smiled to himself, taking a step and shooting off into the night. To another vampire, he was merely walking. But if a mortal individual were to pass by, they'd see each mid-air step only a blur. Every time Adam's foot came back down onto the concrete, he walked in normal time. Every time his foot lifted again, he'd blur forward a good hundred yards. Far faster than humane walking— but oh, if he were to run at his full speed… He could be halfway across the state in almost no time flat. Such was the benefit of being who he was. The speed of which he could travel, the strength he possessed, the breathtaking beauty. But even all of that, even the good looks, fame, fortune, and power… None of it was worth the hunger that he felt; the burning desire for blood and the lust for life. Even the power to defy all that God had created was worth the pain…


	9. The Band

**Early Wednesday afternoon, 12:36 PM**

'_Okay, calm down, quit fidgeting, it's not like you're going to meet the Queen of England or anything like that…_' I told myself, rubbing my sweaty palms on my jeans as I exhaled heavily. I was sitting in the safety of my car in the parking garage of the studio that Adam's agent had directed me to. By opening the door, crossing to the elevator, and riding to the sixth floor, I'd be leaving the realm of Nobody-land forever. The land of safety from paparazzi and fans. I was kind of afraid to leave, to be completely honest. What kind of people would I meet by riding that elevator? What kind of life would I be living?

'_The life you've always wanted, you dipshit._' I sighed, rubbing my palms on my jeans again. I was supposed to be up in the board room of the studio in less than ten minutes. My head was spinning and I found my stomach boiling lightly. Great, I was so fucking nervous that I made myself sick. Great, just great. I leaned my head against the head-rest of my seat, debating upon leaving my car or just pulling out of the garage and saying no. But part of me was saying that would be a bad idea. I dropped my head, resting it against the steering wheel, painful nabs in my boiling stomach. I winced and sighed, thinking back to the drinks that Adam had given me. They'd left me sick for all of Sunday and Monday. I feared that by joining his band I would be subjected to more of the burning sickness. But what if I wasn't? What if the drinks had been a sort of initiation?

'_You really think he'd get you raging drunk with crazy hallucinations and leaving you to puke your guts out for fourteen straight hours with a massive headache just to see if you'd join his fucking band?_' I shook my head slowly, glancing at my phone on the passenger seat. I reached over and pressed one of the buttons. 12:39 PM. I had six minutes. I sat up again, staring at the clock on my phone before the screen went blank and the clock was no more. I had to make my decision fairly soon, and act upon that decision. Did I want to join and become blindingly famous all over the world? Or did I want to be that little two-toned twig who played wicked bass with random open mic bands? I closed my eyes for a brief moment, mulling over the idea on the tip of my tongue.

'_Do it. This is the chance you've been waiting for._'

'_What about Suzan, Vince, and Gianna? They loved you!_'

'_This is _Adam-_fucking-_Lambert _we're talking about! Raging glam superstar! Not to mention he's fucking hot!_' I blushed. Well…

'_Tommy, you've got a band already that wants you. Do you really want to upset them by joining someone else?_'

'_C'mon, they'd understand! Bet you more than anything they'd poof off their own band for a chance to play with Adam! And think of the AMA's, the tours, the fan bases!_'

'_Tommy, don't. Suzan's counting on you to be her bassist._'

'_That was for one night, Tommy. Maybe they just needed you for one lousy show. Adam wants you permanently. Are you really gonna let that go?_'

I pressed the button on my phone again. Three minutes before I had to be there or be square. I stared at the digital numbers, before grabbing my phone and shoving it into my pocket. I pulled the keys from the ignition of my car, and opened the door. Stepping out into the garage, I shut the door and locked the Demon tight. I turned on my heel and made my way towards the elevators. I could see around me the endless nights of drinking in peace without recognition falling away in milky blurs. Suzan's bright eyed face and gleaming smile was melting into a look of what I thought would be horror or grief… I shook my head. I had never seen her in such a distraught state. She'd always been happy whenever I saw her. My mind was just trying to make me turn back, and ever since I'd left Sacramento that was the last thing I wanted to do. I reached the elevator, pressing the up button. There was a soft ding, and the doors slid open.

I hesitated for a moment. One step onto that elevator and there was nothing left for me in terms of the normal life. One step onto that elevator and I would become utterly famous. Adam himself had welcomed me to the band. Today was my day to meet everyone. I exhaled heavily, and stepped onto the elevator, turning around and pressing the button labeled as six. The doors closed with another soft ding, and the elevator rose slowly. The nervousness in my stomach was building, but all the same, there was a level of excitement that rose with each floor I passed. I shoved my trembling hands into my pockets, calming my thrashing heart with easy breaths. I looked up at the floor counter. Four… Five… Six— another ding. The doors opened easily, and I stepped out.

The hall was long, wide, and brightly lit with large open windows looking out into a segment of Los Angeles. I glanced to my right, seeing a dead end with a few picture frames of Rolling Stones posters and plants. To the left, the hallway stretched farther down to a set of double doors. The flooring was soft, creamy carpet, the paint a bright but neutral goldeny tan. More posters, more fake plants. I walked slowly down the hall, the buzzing of excitement and nervousness ringing in my ears, growing louder and louder with every step. I was half tempted to stop, turn, and leave. A lump began to form in my throat, but I didn't stop or turn away. I swallowed hard and kept walking onward. I pulled my right hand from my pocket, and reached out, curling my fingers around the door handle. The steel was cool to the touch, crisp and smooth. I turned the handle, pulling the door open. Light washed into my face, though it was artificial, and there was a soft chatter mingling around that turned dead silent as the door swung shut behind me.

There were four people total in the room; one was a man with short, cropped grey hair, grey eyes, in a black suit with a black tie. The lines and wrinkles in his face were soft— he was still youthful for his work. There were laugh lines around his lips and eyes, which creased further as his lips stretched into a friendly grin. A woman with short, blond hair and bright eyes stood beside him. She looked to be in her thirties, with a rocking body and flawless skin. She was wearing a lacey black tank top over a red camisole, black leather pants and knee high boots. Standing across from them were two other men; one with chocolaty skin and dread locks, a strong, rounded face and kind eyes. A sleeveless blue shirt hung from his broad shoulders, tight jeans clung to his hips and held up with a studded belt. Steel-toed boots covered his feet. The second man had light, creamy skin, playful eyes, funky hair and a long, soul-patch-like beard. He wore a black t-shirt, navy blue jeans, and Converse. I swallowed the lump in my throat again, staring at each of the four people.

"You must be Tommy." The grey-haired man said, the smile still on his face. I nodded once, suddenly unable to find my voice.

"I'm Mathew Sanderson, the band's manager. This is Lisa Harriton—" he motioned to the woman, "Longineu Parsons—" the man with dreads, "and Monte Pittman," the last man. I nodded to each of them with a slight smile.

"Nice to meet you." I said after a moment. I glanced around the room. Brightly decorated with vibrant colors, faux furs, few windows— rather a drastic comparison to the hallway— and a few instruments randomly placed all over. More Rolling Stones posters, fake plants, gold records, and a few other portraits and memories. It felt unreal. It felt like a dream, and I was afraid that at any moment I was going to wake from it all and find myself still with a massive hangover in my old room back in Sacramento. That I'd see Allison's face hovering over me as she screamed bloody murder of Bible passages I needed to read to learn a lesson. Lisa turned towards me more, looking me over as she spoke.

"So, bassist, huh?" I blinked and smiled slightly. Adam must've informed them already. Where was he?

"Yeah. You?"

"Keyboardist." She said.

"Guitar." Monte said suddenly, a gleam in his eye that foretold me already that he was badass at what he did.

"Drums." Longineu spoke with a low voice. I nodded once. He seemed like a drummer.

"Adam must've really liked you to personally invite you. Though I have to say, you rocked that show at the Mayan." Monte said, taking a bottle of Coors off of a nearby table and taking a drink. I glanced at the beer and felt a mix of desire for a drink and the need to vomit from the memory of the drinks Adam had given me. I decided not to ask for one. I really didn't want to get sick in front of everybody on my first day.

"You were there?" I asked, raising an eyebrow. Monte smiled behind his beer and nodded.

"Yep. Met up with Adam there for a night of just chilling. Though he kinda vanished on me when we went inside." I was about to speak again when an icy voice from the other side of the room stopped me.

"On the contraire, Monte, _you_ vanished on _me_." Chills ran down my spine as I turned slowly, my eyes falling on Adam. He wore a black shirt with a black and blue plaid over-shirt on top of it, black pants hugging his thighs and calves with a silvery studded belt. Three chains looped from the front of his belt to the back, curving around his right light. Knee high boots with buckles strapped around the material clung to his legs and feet. Black nail polish glossed his nails, large gemmed rings on his fingers. His hair was styled around his face, a few bits here and there spiked up slightly, but otherwise it was relatively tame compared to some of the styles I had seen on him during Idol. Liner was smudged around his cobalt eyes, a delicate sheen of gloss on his lips. '_Gloss?!_' I had to remind myself that this was _Adam Lambert_ that I was with, and that the gloss shouldn't surprise me. A silver chain hung around his neck as he strode into the room, the air of awesome hanging thick around his being. He glanced at me and smiled a mischievous kind of smile, his eyes gleaming in the light. His skin was still that deathly pale that it had been on Satur-unday (Saturday-Sunday). I wanted to grab him and throw him outside, though I mused briefly that if I had acted so, he would burst into flames. I had to fight to laugh at the thought.

"Oh, please, Lambert. You were the one bouncing around all kinds of clubs that night." Monte said jokingly, taking another long swig of his beer. Mathew and Lisa were having a discussion in another area of the room, and Longineu was serving himself a soda from the mini bar that was tucked in a corner. Adam smirked devilishly at Monte, and goose bumps lifted up along my arms and neck. The raven-haired man stood beside me as he spoke again; the ice of being making my blood turn cold beneath my clothes and skin.

"I was only bouncing because I had nothing better to do. Besides, I told you I would meet you at the Mayan around midnight. And I made it at the appointed time, didn't I?" Monte huffed angrily and turned away, drinking his beer and glaring at the wall. Adam chuckled and turned to me. "So, I take it you've met the band?" I swallowed hard again. What was he doing to me? Turning me into a frozen caveman?

"Yeah. They're pretty chill." I said. Chill… what the fuck, Tommy? Adam's eyes curved as he smile, and he looked Asian for the briefest of moments.

"Yeah, they're great." He said in agreement, glancing over at the group. Mathew called him over, and Adam muttered a soft 'excuse me', before leaving. I casually rubbed my left arm, trying to put heat back into it. Why was he so freaking cold?! I sighed, and looked across the room, seeing a drum set tucked into a far right corner, a few guitars set into stands nearby. There was a keyboard not far from the drum set, and I found myself walking towards it, dropping my hand from my arm. I remembered growing up that Allison had tried to get me into piano. She'd tried and tried to keep me interested in it for years, and just to make her happy, I'd taken lessons for five before giving up and taking up bass. But I kept the skills with me for the sole fact that there were still some songs that I enjoyed playing. I stopped in front of the keyboard, turning it on lightly. I spaced, messing with the audio settings and volume, before setting upon a more crisp and synthetic sound. My fingers brushed a few chords and notes, playing a melody that was the epitome of an electronic Sweet Child O' Mine by Guns 'N' Roses. I remembered that I would play this on the piano for my dad when I was younger. It had been his favorite song for years. Allison always got mad that I played piano covers of rock songs like Sweet Child and Free Bird instead of Beethoven or Bach. But classical made me want to barf. I hated classical music like that. Don't get me wrong, it's beautiful— it's just not my cup of tea.

I got through maybe the first verse and half of the chorus before I heard clapping behind me. I stopped suddenly, my eyes focusing on the keys in front of me. My head cleared and I was more aware of everything, not just the music. I turned, seeing three amazed faces, one excited face, and one face, pale as all could be, covered in awe. The shimmer of oceanic joy in Adam's eyes was, though, not one of awe, but rather of intrigue. Like there was more in store than just bass playing and tours. It was the kind of shimmer that made me curious and edgy all the same. Adam in general left me cautious and curious— it was like I was this timid kitten, and he was the child, plucking the yarn away from me every time my paws got close enough to grab at it.

"Holy shit, dude! You didn't tell us you could play keys!" Monte said, crossing the room and clapping me on the back with a firm hand, shoving a fresh, cold beer into my hands. I chuckled lightly, glancing at them before letting my gaze drop to the beer in my hands. I didn't want to be rude and refuse it, but all the same, I was skeptical on drinking it. '_Okay, so a famous guy gives you three shots that fucks you up a bit, and now you're afraid to enjoy yourself? Goddamn, Tommy…_' I thought to myself, before mentally shaking my head. I lifted the glass to my lips, taking a drink of the beer. It was cold to my tongue, and tasted of bitter bliss. I smiled, pulling it away as I swallowed. It wasn't as bad as I was fearing it to be.

"Yeah— I played for a while when I was younger." I said shyly, taking another drink as Lisa fussed over how I played. She threw questions like how long I played, who was my teacher, what kinds of genres did I enjoy. There were too many too fast and Adam had her stop with a raise of his hand a sly smile.

"Easy Lisa— let him breathe a little." I gave him a thankful look, before reaching over ad turning off the keyboard. Lisa rolled her eyes and shook her head slightly.

"So, Tommy can play some keys as well. This may prove to be useful, since there's multiple synth sections of FYE." Adam explained, the sly smile never once leaving his lips. I frowned slightly, raising an eyebrow.

"FYE?" I asked.

"For Your Entertainment. It's the name of the song we're performing at the AMA's." Lisa cut in with a smirk. Obviously, I was out of the loop. Not much of a surprise, really.

"Anyways— you'll learn the bass line for the song, but during rehearsals, you'll be playing keyboard next to Lisa. Is that cool?" Adam asked, turning those bright blue eyes upon me. I swear, if it wasn't for the fact his aura had me physically frozen in place, I would have melted right through the floor. I wanted to slap myself though. How was it that for over twenty years I had always been in it for the vag, and here I was trembling at a man's eyes. '_Get a fucking grip, Tommy. You're not gay— you are _so _not gay. You're so straight it's almost laughable. Now get. A. Grip._' I nodded once to answer Adam's question. I couldn't trust my voice. Not now, anyway, when he was still pouring the combination of those beautiful eyes and that coy smile at me.

'_Beautiful? Okay, Thomas, you've officially lost it._'

"Alright. We'll get started right away then." Adam grinned ear to ear, his eyes laughing an icy laugh.


	10. So Hot

**Two weeks later, early Tuesday afternoon, 3:13 PM**

It was almost unbelievable that about two weeks had passed since I had met the band. Monte and I had become close friends and rabid drinking buddies, joking around about the craziest of things. Longineu and I talked now and then, but otherwise it was pretty much just a chill factor between us. Lisa was like the older sister I'd never had and always wanted. She had her moments where she irritated me, but it was all in fun. She never meant harm and she knew how to make me laugh and when I needed to be alone. They were the family I'd always wanted but never had. Not that my dad was a bad father, but I really could have done without Allison in my life.

What was even more unbelievable, still, was that I was playing for Adam Lambert. Superstar-glam icon and popular favorite from American Idol. It was beyond surreal and I would wake everyday telling myself, '_You're playing for a fucking icon!_'. I closed my eyes and smiled slightly, thinking back on the first few days, the first few rehearsals. Things went slow since I was the newbie, but I learned quickly. It was evident I was impressing Adam with my fast learning and openness to new and intriguing things. He was perhaps more thrilled to work with me than I was with him, and that was really saying something entirely. But I didn't mind it. Adam was a cool and funny guy. The only thing that bothered me was his pale, icy skin…

'_Whatever. Why are you worrying about it now, you dipshit? The AMA's are on Friday, now, shut up!_' God… The AMA's were on Friday, and we were just beginning to sound good. I sighed heavily, running my fingers through my two-toned hair as I lifted a plastic cup filled with water to my lips. Alcohol wasn't allowed on the set, not that I really blamed anybody. We were surrounded by wires and amps, with electrical cords for lights and synthesizers running wall to wall. It was pretty intense, to be completely honest. I swallowed several gulps of my water, before setting the cup back down on the table, cracking my knuckles gently. Monte was talking with one of the backup dancers, who was stretching her arms above her head. Longineu was coming out of the bathroom and Lisa was retreating up to her keyboard stand at the top of the stage. Lisa and I were positioned side by side, on a small platform above the main stage.

Running my fingers through my hair again, I crossed from behind a few sets of curtains and back onto the stage, before climbing a set of stairs and returning to my place at the keyboard. "Alright! We're taking it from the top of the set. Is everyone in place? …Adam!" The director said over the microphone. His voice was ringing all around the massive auditorium where the AMA's would be held. I rubbed my ears gently, slipping the plastic and rubber plugs in. Even with my muted hearing, I could hear Adam's footsteps on the main stage floor as he ran across to get to his place. I smiled slightly. His hair was spiked up a little, making it stand up on end in glittery curves and swoops. He wore a pair of simple, ripped blue jeans and a purple David Bowie t-shirt, black polish on his nails, arm socks covering his forearms to his palms. He held a mic in his left hand, his chest rising and falling with breath. My face flushed when I realized I was staring him, and I immediately looked away, pretending to be resetting my keyboard when in reality I had done it after the last run through of the song.

"Sorry, sorry! I'm here!" Adam said into his mic with a slight smile. I chuckled low, placing my fingers over the appropriate keys. It was becoming second nature to play For Your Entertainment. Sometimes it felt like I had been doing it all my life. Not that I minded it, it was a beautiful and sensual piece of work. Listening to Adam's crisp, sexy— oh God, sexy— voice molest the mic's surface with cool words of lust and desire was an alluring experience. The first time I'd heard him sing, my knees had nearly buckled beneath me. It had been better than anything I'd heard him sing before on Idol, and it was just a refreshing and exotic experience. I'd loved it. Sometimes, though, I wondered if I love his voice or him.

'_You're not gay. Get over that notion, you retard._' I sighed, hearing the director's little intro blip for Adam's performance. After he finished talking, Lisa's intro Chinese inspired notes flittered into the building, ringing off and filling my soul. I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath as Adam began to sing. _So hot… Out the box… Can we pick up the pace? Turn it up— heat it up— you need to be entertained!_ Lisa's playing rang around as I picked in with the actual opening of the song, my fingers pressing hard into the cool plastic perfection. There was a kind of magic that I felt when I played this song; like everything was beyond amazing and I was alive. I opened my eyes as I played, nodding my head to the beat of the song as Adam pranced around on the stage. Strangely though, during rehearsal, I never really watched him while he danced and sang. I only listened to him. It was all I needed during rehearsals.

_Push the limit, are you with it baby? Don't be afraid, I'ma hurt ya real good baby. Let's go, it's my show, baby do what I say. Don't trip off the glitz that I'm gonna display. I told ya, I'ma hold ya down until you're amazed— give it to ya till you're screaming my name!_

I blushed lightly, playing more into the song. I wanted to play my bass for the performance, but I was happy with what Adam wanted me to do. Besides, he'd previously told me that I would play the bass for all the songs on talk shows and in concerts. The idea of rocking out on stage with my bass was more than just appealing to me. I smiled, swaying to the song as Adam continued to sing. He got through the bridge and into the chorus, where everyone— including myself— sang along. My hair hung over the right side of my face as my soft voice ripped through the mic in front of me, blending nicely under Adam's voice. With the plugs in my ears, I couldn't really hear myself very well, but I knew when I had gone flat or out of tune, and I was able to make the necessary correction easily.

_It's alright, you'll be fine, baby, I'm in control— take the pain, take the pleasure, I'm the master of both. Close your eyes, not your mind, let me into your soul, I'ma work ya till you're totally blown! No escaping when I start— once I'm in I own your heart!_

Intriguing lyrics. Very intriguing. I had half a mind to sing along, but it wasn't yet my time to join in. And I really didn't want the director yelling at me for joining in at the wrong part of the song. It would be starting at the top of the set— back to the intro. '_We've gone over this like six times today now, with two breaks. You'd think the director would be a little more considerate for Adam's vocals and the dancers' stamina. We're doing one song, not a three hour show._' I thought to myself, slipping into the chorus as easily as anyone else, my fingers dancing on the keys in front of me. Fluid motions to produce crisp, electrifying sounds. I was rather pleased with how everything was turning out..

"Alright, hold it!" My fingers halted, and Adam stopped the middle of one of his intense screams. We all looked up into the darkness of the auditorium, waiting.

"Half an hour break. I need to make an important call." I rolled my eyes while pulling the plugs out of my ears. There was a soft chatter from the dancers and the stage crew members. An unexpected half an hour break for one freaking call? Whatever, I wasn't really complaining much. It just meant more water, some noms, and maybe a beer outside. I smiled slightly, leaving my plugs wrapped around the back of my neck as I followed Lisa across the platform and down the stairs. Adam had disappeared from the stage again, and I wondered briefly where he had gone when Lisa tugged on my sleeve.

"Tommy! Jeez— Monte wants you." She said, motioning over to the guitarist. I nodded once, walking in the general direction she had sent me off to. Monte was standing beside a little back door, turning his head to face me. He had a bright grin on his face, his eyes wild with blackmail. There were two beers in his hands, and he shoved one into my grasp as I came up beside him.

"What is it—" I began to say, but he raised his finger to his lips, silencing me immediately. He pointed out of the door with his beer, to a couple standing in the shadows of the hallway behind the stage. I had to squint to really see them, and even in then I couldn't make out any real details.

They were both men, that much was certain. Both had dark hair, though one of them was slightly larger in the shoulder width, and taller, than the other. The taller man, whose back was to me, had dark, possibly black hair, though the length or thickness was difficult to determine since the smaller man had his hands wound deep into the inky threads. The smaller man was wearing a white, button up shirt with the sleeves rolled up to his creamy arms, and black pants clung to his hips. I blinked, leaning my head slightly out further. There was something off here. The taller man's arms lifted, flashing startling white flesh, a dark t-shirt hanging off the shoulders and draped over the strong back. The light from the stage hit the edges of his blue jeans, brightening his shirt. The darkness lightened itself, revealing a purple hue. I stifled a gasp as Adam and his lover turned, Adam pressing the smaller man against the wall. Scruffy brown hair and five o' clock shadow… I recognized that face easily, and I wanted to hurl my beer at him from down the hall.

No, he couldn't do this. Not to my best friend. Not when I had heard time and time again that they were through. Blinding hot rage lashed through my senses, and I trembled beside Monte, though I doubt he really noticed it. My grasp on my beer tightened, the coolness freezing my palm, turning it numb. This wasn't actually happening. It couldn't. It wasn't right nor was it fair. How could he promise time and time again to Alex that his previous relationship was over with and done? But all the same, how could I have been so stupid as to not see that his previous lover had been Adam all along? I pulled myself away from the door frame, leaving Monte to his spying of manly make-outage.

How could Drake do this to Alex?

'_Calm down Tommy. Drake isn't your boyfriend. Adam isn't your boyfriend. Alex isn't yours. Hell, you don't even want one. True, Alex is your best friend. But he and Drake are big boys, it's just a misunderstanding. Watch, if you go back now, you'll see that your eyes were just tricking you. It's not Drake. That's someone else. Perhaps Drake has a twin brother…_' I took a long swig of my beer, before wincing and tossing the bitter liquid and glass into the trash. Whatever Monte had picked up had been shit, for sure. I crossed to the table, grabbing my water and taking several gulps of the ice, cold crystals. I sighed heavily, hanging my head low as I rested my hands on the table. But my mind had not played tricks on me. That was Drake. And that was Adam. And they were most certainly lip-locked with sticky saliva glue. I shivered, thinking about Alex. This wasn't fair to him. He was so certain that Drake had broken up with Adam, so why was that fucker here, lip-fucking Adam the day away? I sighed again, taking another series of gulps from my water. My mouth was dry, my gums felt sticky.

'_C'mon now. Don't worry too much about it. If Drake's fucking around with two guys, it'll come back to haunt him later. Alex isn't dumb, he's gonna find out sooner or later that Drake isn't as perfect as he always wanted him to be._' But I couldn't shake the memory of Drake promising to Alex that it was over between him and Adam. Nor could I shake the image of the two of them kissing so fiercely like that. It looked to me like nothing was over and everything was just beginning. But then again, what did I know? I swallowed more of my water, before standing straight. It wasn't my place, but if it continued, I was going to tell Alex about it.

I looked up, seeing Monte fleeing for his life towards where Longineu and Lisa stood. I frowned, and turned, seeing Adam and Drake sneaking back into the auditorium. They kissed briefly again, before Adam slipped back out onto the stage. Drake wiped his mouth on the back of his hand, a look of disgust on his face as he began to turn away, when his eyes landed on me. They widened in shock, before burning with rage. Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit… I grabbed my water cup again, refilling it from the cooler that sat on the table. I raised the cup to my lips and took another long drink as Drake stomped over to me, ripping the water cup from my hands. He grabbed the collar of my shirt and jacket, lifting me off of my feet and spinning me around, slamming me into the wall, shadowed from the eyes of the others. I winced in pain, but I knew better than to cry out like some sissy girl. Instead, I groaned softly, glaring into Drake's eyes as his face came within inches of mine.

"Don't you dare tell Alex what you saw here, understood?" He snarled, his breath rank with alcohol and weed. I coughed lightly off to the side, before turning my head back to face him, my lip curling into a sneer as I spoke.

"And why shouldn't I? You're the one fucking around behind his back with your supposed ex." He reared back and hit the side of my face with the side of his fist. Not hard enough to damage anything, but hard enough that it would leave a bruise and I would be in discomfort for a while. I moaned softly as he pulled me forward and slammed me into the wall again. My back and ribs were aching with dull pains; I'd be feeling all of this by tomorrow, for certain.

"You won't say a word if you want to keep that pretty face of yours. I can be a lot crueler than I am right now, and I don't want to hurt you since you're Alex's friend and all. But this is a warning, Tommy. Say even the slightest thing, and you'll be in for a lot more than just a few bruises and aching ribs." He dropped me to my feet. Due to the sudden change of power, my knees buckled and I fell to the floor as he slipped away through the door, and out of sight before anyone else could see him. I groaned, pulling myself to my feet while rubbing the side of my face. I could feel heat, and I knew that it was starting to bruise. I'd have to explain this to the rest of the band. Could always say I smacked into a door. I sighed, crossing to the cooler and lifting the lid. Reaching in I grabbed a few ice cubes from the icy contents, and wrapped them in a napkin, pressing it to my face. I winced, before relaxing a little.

'_Can't believe that fucker got away with practically punching me in the face!! Fuck, he's so getting it later…_' I told myself, glaring at the door through which Drake had disappeared. I grabbed my water cup and took several more drinks, before crossing back towards the stage. Lisa was the first to see me holding the ice to my face, but she wasn't the first to freak out. Her eyes widened, and everyone else— including Adam— turned, their eyes also widening and their mouths dropping. In the blink of an eye, Adam was in front of me. Had it seriously been a blink!? Holy fuck that was fast! His icy hands were in two places; one against the back of my hand that held the ice, the other on the non-bruised side of my face. His eyes were concerned as he pulled my hand away from my face so he could see.

"Oh my God, what the hell happened to you?" Even worried, I couldn't deny that his voice was beautiful. I glanced away, confused at my own thoughts and angered by the truth. But I couldn't say anything.

"I wasn't paying attention and I… I ran into a door." I lied. The others seemed to believe it on the spot, but even with his face of understanding, Adam knew I was lying. His eyes gleamed with that accusing look. I stared at him for a moment, before looking away again, pressing the ice to my face. Adam rubbed my shoulder gently as I assured everyone else that I was fine and that it wasn't a problem. I shivered lightly as his cold touch left goose bumps on my skin. I glanced over at him, and his lips curved into a smile, but his eyes told me a different story.

_Don't lie to me…_


	11. Heat It Up

**Late Friday night, 10:27**

Killed by carbon monoxide.

That was how I felt. Well, okay, not exactly, but close enough, right? If you had one hell of an important night ahead of you, wouldn't you be feeling like at any moment you would just die from anything? Okay… Bad example. Very bad example. Goddamnit. I ran my fingers through my hair, smoothing out the bangs over my right eye. Good enough. I reached down, dipping my fingers lightly into Bed Head hair gel, rubbing it into my palms before reaching around and scruffing up my pixie-cut hair, spiking it up into odd angles. Pleased with the result, I turned and left the small dressing room, across the hall to the bathroom. Turning on the faucet, I pressed my hand against the tab for foamy soap. Washing my hands, I shut the water off, wiping my palms on my jeans and retreating to the dressing room again.

I couldn't believe that tonight was the AMA's. In just over half an hour I'd be broadcasted upon national television. It was just… I sighed, grabbing the kohl liner off of the counter and ripping the cap off of it. Leaning close to the mirror, I began to smudge the liner along my eye lids, starter on the lower. I applied it thick, before lightly brushing my pinky along the line. Closing my right eye while keeping the left open, I applied the liner gently. Easy, small strokes; one, two, thr— aw, fuck. My hand twitched, smudging the liner upward onto my lid. Sighing, I tried angling my hand to easily wipe away the excess. The liner slipped from my hand and clattered down off the counter and to the floor. Sighing heavily, I knelt down, lifting it into my grasp again. I raised the liner to the corner of my eye and looked into the mirror, before shouting out in surprise. I spun around and chucked the liner at the pale face behind me. Adam barely had time to duck before the kohl stabbed him in the eye.

"Whoa! Jesus, Tommy, calm down! It's only me." He said, his lips peeling into a smile as he began to laugh. I panted heavily; leaning against the counter of the room, my back to the mirror as I shakily ran my fingers through my hair. Adam knelt down and grabbed the kohl from the floor, still laughing as he handed it to me. I reached out with a trembling hand, and took it from him, turning away to continue applying it. I slid it easily between my finger, and raised it to my eye, but I stopped, staring at my hand. I was still shaking, and if I tried to apply the liner, it would come out in jagged lines. I sighed, and Adam placed his hand on my shoulder. I shivered under his touch as he turned me towards him. I took a moment to take in what he was wearing; a black, long sleeved button up shirt with black, half palmed gloves covered in silvery spikes. Along with the shirt was a dark, glossy gold tie, tucked behind a grey vest that looked as if it had been dropped into a vat of glitter. Matching pants with the vest, and black shoes. His hair was gelled up and back in a black main of curved spikes… Also doused in glitter. In his ears were two black studs, no larger than a dime in diameter. Both hands had large, matching rings, his nails polished silver. My gaze dropped slightly, and my face rose in heat as I lifted my eyes back up to his. God… Was the bulge always that prominent?!

"Here— let me." He said simply, acting as if he hadn't noticed that I was totally checking him out. Taking the liner from my hands, he cupped my cheek into his palm. I had to keep from shivering into his touch. His skin was icy as ever, and I knew I would never be able to get over it. He leaned forward and fluidly pressed the liner to my lash-line. _'He's so close..._' I thought to myself. In one delicate sweep, the kohl slid across my skin, in a perfect, dark line. I blinked a little, as he did two swift marks on my left eye. His mouth curved into a look of focus, and he pressed the tip of his finger to the lower line on my right eye, rubbing away the kohl I had originally smudged there. He drew a fresh line, and smiled, stepping around me so that he could apply his own liner. My skin felt hot despite being icy to the touch. I still shivered at the temperature of his being, but it was something that I was gradually getting use to. Maybe it was just the way he was. I turned around to look at my reflection in the mirror. The liner was perfect, more so than anything I could ever do. Smiling, I tousled my hair a little more, before glancing at him.

"Thanks." I said softly. Adam stared at his own reflection as he did his makeup, a smile curling further on his lips.

"It's not a problem, Tommy." He said, looking at me through the mirror. I chuckled, turning away before he could see my face get any hotter than it already was. Goddamn, why was I such a sucker for his smile? Yeah, it was beautiful beyond belief, but a lot of people had beautiful smiles. Though, the problem was that it wasn't just his smile, it was also his eyes. Those gorgeous, oceanic orbs of perfection… I mentally kicked myself. '_You're not gay, you're not gay, you're not gay, you're. Not. Gay!_'' I repeated in my head. I sighed, crossing to the back of the room and grabbing my "shirt" off of a metallic rack. It was a strange thing, but kinda cool. It was a floofy, shimmery shirt with velour sleeves from the elbows down, fur lining from shoulder, across the back, to shoulder. Tassels hung from beneath the fur, draping down to the edge. I pulled it on over my head, covering my black tank-top. I'd been told it was warm. Adam had finished with his liner, and glided around me, grabbing his jacket off the rack. Same grey color, also drenched in glitter. On the left shoulder was almost this plate of studs and spikes. I found it rather… awesome.

"Excited?" He asked, sliding it over his broad shoulders. I nodded with a smile, walking over to the counter again and grabbing a medium sized velvet box. In it were my earrings and rings for the show. I slid the rings onto my fingers, flexing them once and admiring the gleam of the metal and polish. I smiled, before fitting the earrings into my lobes and cartilage. Excellent. I closed the box again, glancing up into the mirror. Adam had his head bent over his phone, texting. I smirked, and shook my head, before leaping out of my skin as my own phone vibrated in my pocket. Adam chuckled, and I flipped him off, though I doubted he actually saw it. Fumbling, I pulled out my phone, seeing a familiar name dancing on the screen. I pressed a button on my phone and held it to my ear.

"Hey Dad!" I said happily into the receiver of my cell. I noticed in my peripheral that Adam's head snapped up and he stared at me, but I didn't return the look. I pretended to be interested in my nails.

"Hey Thomas." He was the only one I didn't mind calling me by my full name. I smiled slightly.

"How've you been?" I asked, sitting down on a clear part of the counter. I realized that I hadn't talked to my dad in almost a month since I'd left Sacramento. '_Wow you're a nice son, completely forgetting all about you're fucking father. Way to be, Tommy. Way to be. Though it's not all bad. You _have _been busy with rehearsing and the party life. Not to mention trying to keep from telling Alex about his loser boyfriend Drake…_' I shoved my thoughts away as my dad spoke again.

"Eh, tired more than anything, but I've been doing well. Your m— _Allison_… is chewing off my ear saying that you're a bad son for leaving," I snorted into the receiver, and he laughed, "but I told her to lay off. You're a grown man, you made your choice." I smiled to myself, glancing up to see Adam pounding into his phone with his fingers. His face looked tense, and I worried briefly what was wrong. I was about to cover the mouth piece and ask when my dad continued talking.

"Also, a buddy of mine told me that while he was visiting some friends in L.A. he saw you performing at a club. Said you rocked the stage pretty hardcore." I laughed quietly.

"Yeah. That was a great night." I said, glancing up and looking at Adam again. I grinned ear to ear. "Hey, dad. Speaking of performing, do you remember a guy named Adam Lambert?" Adam's head perked up a little, and he smirked. Though through the mirror I could see trouble in his eyes. I frowned slightly, looking away.

"Yeah, of course. He was on Idol. Why?"

"Well… That night I performed at the club— he happened to be there. And he asked me to sign with him." I grinned even further as my dad laughed on the other line.

"No way!"

"Yeah! We're closing the AMA's tonight, actually." I said, feeling my heart race. I still couldn't get over that we would be closing the fucking AMA's. I turned, still smiling, only to see Adam tossing his phone onto the counter, and storming out of the room in an angry and distraught huff. I frowned, considering calling my dad back when I glanced down at his phone. He'd left it on a series of texts between himself and Drake. I froze, staring at the screen, reading the insults and hateful comments Drake had said. 'Fag'… 'Drama Queen'… 'Overemotional, ego maniac'…I choked on a quiet breath. He couldn't have… There was no way he could have said all that about Adam when _he_ was the one cheating on my best friend… 'Fucking douche bag'… I was barely aware of my dad still talking.

"Shit— my boy's gonna be on national TV…" I could see his face in the back of my mind, awestruck and proud. Dad always appreciated my talent with bass and piano. He never bashed me when I played something out of the ordinary or hardcore. He was always so supportive of me and my decisions (with the exception of late night parties on school nights, but what parent really supports that?). I slid off of the counter, shoving my hand into my pant's pocket, my eyes on the floor. I tried to be as cool about everything as possible, but my head was still wrapped around Drake's comments. I shook my head slowly.

"Yeah. We're going on in about…" I looked up at the clock on the wall, seeing that the time read at 10:49. My heart stopped and I swore loudly. "Five minutes! Shit!!" Dad laughed again.

"Well, I'll let you go so you can get onto the stage. I'll be sure to tune in." I was about to say a word of thanks and a promise that I'd call him again when he said words to me I hadn't heard in a long time.

"I'm proud of you, son." I paused, feeling my heart swell up in my chest and into my throat. I smiled slightly, staring off into the distance.

"Thanks, Dad. I'll be on the top platform playing keys." The conversation pretty much ended after that, and I shut off my phone, leaving it on the counter next to Adam's. I was about to leave it, but decided better, and pressed a button, exiting out of the stream of messages. Anyone to walk in didn't need to see it. As it was, I felt bad for reading them. I hoped, as I left the room, that I'd be able to find Adam before the show, but I strongly doubted it. He seemed to have vanished from sight. Sighing, I walked down the long, narrow hallway, towards the backstage area. I wondered if he was okay. '_Of course he's not okay. His boyfriend just called him a bunch of really fucked up names and insults right before a fucking show._' I sighed, dropping my head and shoving my hands into my pockets. I hoped that it wouldn't affect his performance.

I let out a loud breath, silently passing through a thick metal door. The stage was dark with the end of a performance and a few announcers. A stage crewman turned and motioned for me to follow him, shoving the ear plugs into my hands. Near blind in the darkness, he pointed to the familiar set up that I had been practicing on for over three weeks. I knew where to go. I nodded once to him and climbed the stairs up to my position. Monte, Longineu, and Lisa were already in place. In the darkness, I couldn't make out where Adam was, if he was there at all. Lisa turned her head to me and shook it side to side, as if to say that my being late was a tsk-tsk notion. I waved her off, before inhaling slowly, sliding the plugs into my ears.

Inhaling slowly, I heard the overhead announcer. My heart beat pounded in my throat like an angry drum. I swallowed heavily, keeping my eyes on the keys as Lisa began her intro. '_Oh my God… this is it… No screw ups, no cuts, no redoes, this is it. Holy balls…_' The lights lifted in upon Adam as he began singing. I couldn't see him; we were blocked behind sliding screens. His voice was slightly harsher than usual, but otherwise still beautiful. My hands were in position, waiting, waiting…

"_So hot, out the box— can we pick up the pace? Turn it up! Heat it up! You need to be entertained!_"The screens pulled away. My hands slumped, my fingers pushing against the keys, the music flowing from my fingers. Monte, somewhere else on the platform, strummed his guitar. Bonus bassist plucked his chords. Longineu pounded out his rhythm. Lisa continued her own magic. It was a surreal mix that blended perfectly. Trusting in my memory, I played and lifted my gaze, staring at Adam at the lower part of the stage. He looked glamorous, free... He looked utterly beautiful...

He also looked flat out pissed. But fortunately this passed into passion for the song, and it was almost as if nothing was wrong. He slid along the stage, grabbing a dancer's ankle and spinning her in a circle, dragging her across the floor as he sang. "_So hot, out the box, can we pick up the pace? Turn it up, heat it up, I need to be entertained. Push the limit, are you with it, baby? Don't be afraid! I'ma hurt ya real good baby._"

Two dancers with harnesses strapped on came up beside him. One handed him a set of reigns, before slinking down into a crawling position. "_Let's go, it's my show, baby, do what I say!_"He snapped the reigns, walking forward as the dancers crawled like dogs in front of him, tight leather pants shifting as their muscles worked. I had to fight to keep my face calm. What the fuck had I been missing during rehearsals?!

"_Don't trip off the glitz that I'm gonna display. I told ya, I'ma hold ya down until you're amazed…_" He let go of the reigns, walking around and grabbing onto of the dancer's by the back of the head. "_Give it to ya—_" I had to keep my head down as I played to keep my concentration. He'd shoved the dancer's face into his crotch, mocking oral sex. "—_till you're screaming my name! No escaping when I start…_"He climbed the first, small flight of stairs, to the middle platform.

"_Once I'm in I own your heart!_"He grabbed a female dancer's head, and briefly shoved her face into his crotch, letting her fall back as if exhausted from ecstasy. _There's no way to ring the alarm, so hold on until it's over! Oh! Do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I'm bout to do? Cause it's about to get rough with you— I'm here for your entertainment! Oh! I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet!_" Adam propped his left leg on a higher step as a female dancer knelt to the side, slightly behind him. Her hand wrapped under, stroking his crotch lightly. If I wasn't intent on just keeping myself in the music, I would have gone scarlet. Without any concentration, I'd found myself singing the chorus as rehearsed. My voice blended under Lisa's, Monte's, and a few other backup singers. A perfect harmony.

"_You thought an angel swept you off your feet. Well I'm about—_" he grabbed his small cane and did a tumble roll across part of the stage. "_—I'm here for your entertainment! It's alright, you'll be fine, baby I'm in control! Take the pain… I'm the master of both._" He propped the cane between his legs, angling it outward so it looked as if he was holding a long, thin erection. "_Close your eyes, not your mind, let me into your soul. I'ma work ya till you're totally blown!_" He crossed down another flight of stairs, walking further downstage. I dropped my head, drifting off as I played. My fingers were burning, sweat on my face as my hips swayed in time with the music. Lisa was dancing beside me, her own delicate hands pounding fierce into her keys. I smiled to myself, leaning towards the microphone in front of me, singing along with Adam in the chorus again.

"_Oh! Do you know what you got into? Can you handle what I'm bout to do? Cause it's about to get rough with you— I'm here for your entertainment! Oh! I bet you thought that I was soft and sweet, you thought an angel swept you off your feet. Well I'm about to turn up the heat— I'm here for your entertainment!_" Adam let loose on one of his fantastic screams of ecstasy filled glory. I tilted my head back, my fingers dancing, my wrists relaxed, my arms slack as they shifted back and forth. I opened my eyes and glanced across the stage, leaning into the mic again as Lisa, Monte and I sang, and I saw Adam stroking a woman's thigh before standing again. He crossed the stage, up a small flight of stairs, half screaming his lyrics. I continued with the harmony, my fingers dancing from one side of the keyboard to the other. My eyes were locked on Adam's back as he finished another brilliant scream. The chorus started again, and Adam turned, climbing the second flight of stairs, up to our platform. His eyes were hungry and unfocused— he was lost in a tidal wave of music and emotion. He turned, stepping up onto our platform, before glancing out to the audience again.

"_Can you handle what I'm bout to do?_" He spun again, his eyes finding mine, locking tightly and burning deep into me. The world slowed into fractions of time. His hand lowered away as his body glided closer to me. My eyes were glued to him, though my head was down, facing the keyboard. His eyes were burning so brightly I thought they were not oceanic orbs of beauty but rather balls of flame. And this flame could not be quenched with a sensational glass of water. No, this was a fire that was beyond out of control.

As beyond normal, I shivered as his free hand reached up and grabbed the back of my neck. Though it was firm with lust, it was gentle with passion. My hands lifted from the keyboard, and I turned. I knew it was coming— I found myself falling forward. Forward into Adam's invisible raven wings. I could feel them closing around me as he reeled me in, our lips closing rapid inches in less than moments. How was this possible? Such short distance, and even though it was mere seconds, it felt like all of eternity. I wanted to speed it up. I wanted to make it now, not in just another moment. My heart thrashed in my chest like an angry moth trying to grab the light. But I was no moth. I was a man, trying to fall into another man's kiss.

His lips were cold, as was his tongue as he slipped it between my teeth. I moaned, my tongue darting out to meet his, gliding against the ice muscle with heat and desire. Adam, too, moaned into me, battling against me for dominance. His grip on the back of my neck tightened, and I had to grab the edge of my keyboard to keep from falling; my knees were failing me. Adam's tongue ravaged mine in a blinding rage of heat and trust; sweet and pained. He pulled away sooner than I had expected. He curved around my keyboard, singing and acting as if nothing had happened at all. I turned back to my keyboard, leaning into the mic and singing to the chorus, my face calm. Inside I was drunk off music and Adam's toxic kiss. My head was spinning, my heart was pounding, but I kept playing. The show must go on, no matter what happens…

Unless someone were to die, but no one was dead to my knowledge.

The last thirty seconds of the song were a blur. I remembered singing, playing, and Adam screaming for a good long while for the final note. I remembered the stage darkening and the audience cheering. Lisa had to pull me off the stage because I was glued to the spot I had been standing in the entire time. She guided me down the stairs in darkness, into the safety of the back stage area. She branched off and followed Monte somewhere. I stumbled forward, half blind as I pulled the ear plugs out of my ears. I exhaled a heavy breath, taking slow steps forward. My head was still spinning, my lips were burning with an icy fire. My tongue tasted sweet in my own mouth, the cooling flavor of Adam's spit still sliding down my throat.

I hadn't gotten far, if I had gone anywhere at all. I felt the change of atmosphere before I felt his palm sliding into mine. I immediately turned, the coolness of his lips crashing into mine again. This time, my tongue was the one to pass between his perfect, white teeth. His lips molded around my tongue and he sucked sweetly, his arms wrapping around me as he pulled me closer to him. My hands slid up his shoulders, winding deep into his spiky hair. It was stiff, though digging down I found the feathery strands that I had been searching for. I moaned as his tongue flicked against mine, and we pulled away, his forehead leaning against mine as his icy breath fluttered across my cheeks like spring kissed breezes. He pushed me forward, pressing my back into a wall, his hips shoving themselves into mine. I could feel the tightness and curve of himself through my own heated issues, and I moaned. He chuckled darkly.

"Someone's excited…" He said coolly, his breath kissing my neck as his lips trailed on the underside of my jaw. It was dark, even with my eyes open. I wondered if anyone could see us, glued together like two perfect pieces of a puzzle, equally thrilled for pleasure.

"Shut up and kiss me…" I groaned, pulling him forward again, and kissing him hard. He smiled against my lips, his palms cupping my face gently. My head was warping in and out of focus. Some moments I'd be staring at Adam's eyes in the darkness before he'd kiss me again. Other moments I'd be looking down upon myself in Adam's chilly embrace, tasting his tongue in the back of my throat. I shivered against him, dropping one of my hands from his hair, and reaching down to grab his ass. He thrust into my hips, and I ripped away from his lips, tilting my head back and moaning as he kissed my throat. My face flushed, my heart pounding fiercely. Adam moaned against my skin.

In the distance, I heard voices I didn't want to hear. "Yo, where's Adam and Tommy?" Monte… God fucking damnit…

Adam's lips froze on my throat, before he pulled away, giving me a quick, gentle peck on the lips. He unglued himself from my body, before guiding me towards the metal doors of the back halls of the building. Light poured in trickles, before washing around us in blinding waves. Adam's hand slipped away from mine, and I hoped dearly we didn't look as if we had been sucking face like octopi. Monte and Longineu turned to see us walking out. I gave them an apologetic look, before casting my eyes to the ground. My face still felt hot, but that could be passed off from the show. But what about my swollen lips? '_Oh, jeez… What have you gotten yourself into now, Tommy?_'


	12. Icy Fire

**Early Saturday morning, 1:04 AM**

God, what the fuck had I gotten myself into?

"Yo, Tommy! Get your head out of the clouds, let's go!" I heard Monte practically yelling at me. I shook my head side to side slightly, sliding out of the limo of which we had ridden in. The luxury of leather seats and cheap champagne had put me in a kind of fog that was more alluring than the stage. But the mix of memory and alcohol was what really did me in. My lips were still burning with icy fire, my tongue still trembling against the roof of my mouth. I sighed slightly, closing the door behind me, a delicate wind slapping against my face and pushing my hair into my eyes. I frowned, shoving it away, before following the band into an unfamiliar club. The floor was pounding something fierce with a heavy bass from the DJ off into a dark corner. The air was thick with sweat and excitement, and I had to keep my focus on Adam's black mane of hair above the crowd to keep up.

A blush crossed my face as I managed to slide up beside him. He glanced down at me, his lips curving into a smirk. Heat pounded against my cheeks as I slipped passed him, angling myself towards the bar. I needed something strong. Standing beside him had caused my body to tremble, and a desire I was unfamiliar with was ravaging at my soul. I could feel Adam's eyes burning into my back as I left, but soon that feeling disappeared as I was swallowed by the crowds. I pulled myself up to the bar, ordering a double shot of vodka. Not something I would normally order, but I had become so sick of beer lately that it was almost disturbing compared to my nature. The tender nodded, whipping out my drink in a matter of moments, and sliding it to me. I paid, and threw my head back, pouring the acidic liquid down my throat. Painfully, it scoured the skin and set ablaze the memory of Adam's delicious kiss. It wasn't so much that I wanted to forget that I kissed him-- twice-- but rather I wanted to rid the temptation to go back. The sticky sweetness of his spit still tickled the back of my tongue, my heart pulsing deep in my chest, wanting more of that excitement. But somewhere in my head, a little voice was screaming to burn it all and not worry about it tonight.

The burn trailed down my throat and into my stomach, and I felt slightly sick to my stomach. I swayed as I was pulled by invisible forces into the swarming crowd of people. Men and women grabbed at me, dancing against me and behind me, sandwiching me and leaving me to dance alone. My head spun in circles as more and more people swarmed, jumping and swaying with me like we were some massive force of utter awesomeness. I'd open my eyes and see flashes of Adam's eyes and his smile, I'd hear his laugh through the music and I wondered if he was behind me or all around me. Was he inside of me or was he farther away that than? None of my thoughts made sense and my vision was slipping in and out of focus like a fucked up dream. Hands trailed my shoulders, shoving more drinks into my shaking palms. I lost count of the number of times I threw my head back, pouring one liquid after another into my mouth. I lost count of the number of times people's lips were smashed into mine; how many tongues crammed themselves down my throat? How many aching hearts were worn on sleeves like designer stitches and brand name tags?

Only once did I feel the only familiar cold hands on my face, the sweet tongue on my lips and grazing the roof of my mouth. His was the only hair that I grabbed in my trembling fingers, the only lips I wanted to taste. Everyone else left me unsatisfied, and though I couldn't see him, I knew that Adam was locking his hands onto my hips, massaging them as his cool tongue danced with mine to a different beat than that of the music pounding itself into our skulls like fucking magic. '_Magic? You're fucked up, Tommy. Just letting you know that..._' Adam and I were liplocked for only God knows how long, but I couldn't find it within myself to really complain about it. There was something right about his lips on mine, his body pressed into me like a hungry animal or a quivering child. He felt so fragile and yet so strong. My hands pulled themselves from his hair, one grabbing the back of his neck, the other sliding under his jacket and latching onto his shoulder. He shivered over me, pressing me into a wall. When did we reach a wall?

Dazed, he was ripped away from me, and I lost him in the crowd. I swayed, trying to dive in to pull him back out again, but he was lost amidst the sea of chartreuse lights and sweaty figures. Someone shoved another drink into my hand. Instinctively, I swallowed it whole, the glass slipping from my fingers and breaking on the floor. I was shaking all over, though from whether the amount of drinks or Adam's kiss I couldn't be sure. My heart was aching for the loss of his cool body on mine, and I stumbled forward. Without meaning to, I knocked against someone; tall and muscular. Oh shit. Hands pressed against my shoulders, shoving me back again. I growled, and shot forward, slamming my shoulder into the man's chest, knocking him down to the floor. Voices gasped, people shouted for a fight. The man got back up and snarled at me in the darkness. My head was swimming and I raised my fists to block my face as he swung for my left cheek. I stumbled on a piece of the shattered glass, and his fist connected with part of my left hand and my cheek. I stumbled sideways, crashing into a woman and a table, knocking over a good number of drinks.

Hands reached for me, trying to pull me to my feet. The man hovered over me, grabbing me by the collar of my shirt and slamming his fist into my nose. He reared back to punch me again, but was pulled away by a dark shadow, and hurled across the floor into the crowd. Raven wings swooped in and curled around me, lifting me into a cold embrace and flying away with me dangling like a rag doll. My head lolled against the ice brick of shoulder and fabric, my nose dripping blood onto my chest. I moaned in pain as my head pounded with shot nerves and aching muscles. My legs were weak, and he had to pull me bridal style into his arms, carrying me out of the club and into the warm night. The soft, leather seats cushioned me as he set me inside the limo-- was this a limo? Or was this a bed, with sleek covers of midnight black and warmer than the sun itself? My stomach clenched, and he slid up beside me. Bile quivered in my mouth, my hands trembled. He bent me over; somehow he'd acquired a lined trashcan... Maybe they'd stored one just in case of situations like this. A bump in the road convinced me completely that we were in fact inside the limo, and that little bump pushed my face deep into the trash can, and I hurled. His fingers tucked the bangs of my hair behind my ear, his other hand rubbing my back in gentle circles. He was speaking, but I couldn't be sure as to what he was telling me. My ears were ringing with bells and traffic horns from the five o'clock rush hour in downtown New York. '_Wait, I've never been to New York. 'the fuck?_' I heaved again, feeling the equal burn coming back up and into the can. Fuck...

So many bumps in the road left me heaving and spewing every five minutes, but for all I knew it could have been longer or shorter than that. What did I know? Absolutely nothing— I hurled again. Fucking hell! Adam's voice was muted to my ears, but I could hear sound other than bells and horns in my head. His hands were cool on my skin. Ha, no need for a cool, wet rag. I could just have Adam put his hands on my fucking face. I trembled violently over the can, afraid to sit up for even the slightest of moments in the event that I had to puke again. The vodka scorched my tongue as it came flowing up and into the can like waterfalls of orange and crystal clear. Not a pretty sight to see through blurred eyes. Adam slid off of the seat and knelt beside me, his fingers stroking my hair, his lips pressing themselves against my temples and my cheeks. He only did this when I stopped puking though. I didn't blame him for not wanting a taste of vomit from an alcoholic like me. '_Why are you even here beside me, Adam? You should be enjoying your night of success, not with me while I shame myself by puking and bleeding. Fucking hell, Adam…_' I felt something warm on my face and I realized I was crying. Why the fuck was I crying?

Adam continued talking… No, he wasn't talking, he was singing. He was singing to me, trying to calm me down. His fingers laced through my hair like ice cubes, cooling my scalp. I shivered and dry heaved, coughing as my short breaths from crying interfered. Blood stained my lips and coated my tongue. I spat into the trash can, seeing a stream of red rainbowing itself to the lining. Adam's fingers trailed over my lips, wiping the spit and blood away. He pressed a tissue against my nose, holding it there to stop the bleeding, forcing me to breathe through my mouth. More tears fell from my eyes. I must have looked like a mess; I sure as hell felt like one.

'_Stop being so nice to me, Adam… I'm not worth your time. Look at me, damnit, I'm sitting here heaving like a retard, bleeding and crying. Just stop it, Adam, stop it… Stop it before I get attached to you, stop it before I need you…_' His voice was warm to my aching head, his breath cool to my tear and blood stained face. Need… Did I need Adam? I knew he needed me for the band, but was there something more than that in his heart? And if so, was it branching out to me, affecting me in ways I'd never known before? Part of me wanted to curl into a ball in his arms and just stay there until I got better. Part of me wanted to push him away and suffer on my own. No matter how I looked at the situation, there was still confusion swimming through my head and my heart, and being drunk off of my ass really wasn't helping the situation at all.

Eventually, I stopped heaving my face into the trash can. Adam pressed a cold, wet towel to my face, wiping off my mouth and helping me recline against the leather seat. He wiped my forehead, stroking my skin with his finger tips. I shivered, my skin burning from popped blood vessels and heat. Adam wiped my mouth again, before easing me closer to him. His arm wrapped around my shoulders as he held a plastic bottle of cold water to my lips. He tilted the bottle forward, slowly pouring the water into my mouth. I drank it, relishing the feel of something natural passing down my throat and easing my burning stomach. He pulled the bottle away, wiping my mouth off with the towel again, though this time it was the drier side. His arm was cool against my shoulders, tightening as he pulled me closer to him. My head rested on his chest, the left side of my face turning to ice. His hand lifted, his fingers lacing themselves into my hair as I closed my eyes slowly.

'_Maybe all of this strange confusion won't be so bad to deal with… Maybe I'm not going ape shit crazy. Maybe…_' Somewhere in the limo, I heard music. I heard music as Adam continued singing softly into my ear. The water had helped the pain in my stomach, the dizziness was easier to deal with now that alcohol wasn't simmering in the acids of my body. Breathing heavily, grazing in and out of consciousness, I was only able to make out certain fragments of what he was singing.

"_I just wanna be with you… is trapped inside your eyes. Every kiss I can't forget, this aching heart ain't broken yet… Baby you know that maybe it's time… giving up on love. Baby you know that… cause I ain't giving up… I ain't giving up on us…_" He tilted my head back up, easing more of the water down my throat, gently. I swallowed it slowly, greedily enjoying the coolness of the refreshing liquid. My head was aching terribly, but due to the fact I was slipping in and out of reality, it wasn't nearly as bad as it could have been. Adam leaned closer to me, pressing his lips to my temple, before easing my head back onto his chest. His fingers stroked my hair as he continued singing.

'_Why are you so concerned about me?_' I thought, darkness pulling at my vision, despite my eyes being closed. Adam's icy fingers massaged my scalp, and he pulled me closer. He slid me onto his lap, his arms curling around me, cradling me against his chest. I felt safe and internally warm even though my body was shaking from how cold he was.

'_Because I care— you're important to me…_' I frowned. Why did I respond to myself?

'_But I'm nothing special. So I play bass and keyboard. A lot of people can do that. What's so important about me?_'

'_You're not afraid to be yourself. I respect that of you. I admire it, actually._' The voice was shifting, sounding like a mix of people. I frowned further, my head hurting. I groaned softly, and Adam trailed his fingers over my face. The pain gradually dispersed at a slow rate, but it was better than suffering.

'_Are you kidding? I'm very afraid. That's just the way it is._' The voice laughed, but it wasn't a laugh I could have created in my head. It was as if someone else was laughing. Someone in my head. But no one was in my head but me, right? I sighed, amazed that I was still conscious but still confused as fuck as to why I was responding to myself with words that I didn't even believe.

'_Everyone's afraid at some point in their life. But you only said you're afraid, not that you're afraid to be yourself. Why are you afraid, Tommy?_' I puzzled over the question. Why was I afraid? Well, there were the obvious reasons— that Drake would kick me out and I'd have no place to stay, that Alex would get hurt because his loser boyfriend was a fucking douche bag. I was afraid that my dad wouldn't approve of the fact that I kissed another man on stage, on national television. I was afraid that I wouldn't wake up one day from drinking so fucking much. But those were small fears. What was I really afraid of? Why was I afraid? I sighed into Adam's chest, my consciousness beginning to slip off into Wonderland. I wasn't sure if I'd be able to respond to myself, that is, if I was talking to myself in the first place. But of course I was— this was all in my head, right? Adam was still singing to me, I could hear him. His breath was on my face, his voice pooling itself into my ears. The limo hit a small bump, and my head bounced, wakening me a little more. I sighed. I started..

'_I'm afraid that I'm changing. Not like I'm growing another dick or anything… Okay, sorry, TMI… But… I'm afraid that because of all the time I've spent with Adam— all the rehearsals and nights out, I'm afraid that I'm curious about a person I don't really know. Well… I know Adam, he's one of my best friends that I've made… And I like him, but I'm afraid I like him more than that. It's like… I know him, but I don't. I like him as a friend, but I'm wondering if I like him more than that. I've kissed him, like, three times lately, and no one's ever given me the excitement rush that he has. No one's ever made me feel like that… God, I don't even know where I'm going with this…_' The limo was quiet except for Adam's cool voice, serenading itself into my ears and my soul. I curled up against him tighter, my fingers trailing over his shirt. Apparently I had lost clever things to tell myself.

How long was the drive taking? Where were we going in the first place? Whatever— I didn't really care, but I was more curious than anything about it. Another bump in the road; sometimes it didn't seem like we were moving at all, for most of the drive was smooth and straight. I didn't feel turns or stops, just bumps. But even the bumps were few and far between. I felt cool air on my face, and wondered if we were outside. Probably… Unless someone turned on mild AC in the limo. I couldn't be sure. My head still hurt and it was darker than fuck…

'_Maybe it's not as confusing or strange as you think. Maybe Adam likes you too; have you thought about that? Maybe he's just as afraid as you are. Just give it a little time, and see where the pieces fall. Who knows— he may end up being yours…_' The idea, the very notion, of Adam being mine… I felt my lips curling into a slight smile, my heart pounding just a little harder.

'_I'd like that…_'

'_Me too…_'

Me?


	13. First Notice

**Saturday afternoon, 4:31 PM**

I really didn't want to think about what had happened last night.

Well, I couldn't really say that— it was pretty inevitable considering my head was still pounding from throwing up so much. But at least there was no bad taste on my tongue. At first, when I'd woken up, I'd wondered why that might have been. Why instead of bile and vodka, I tasted something shy of icy sugar canes and spring tears. Okay— horrible exaggeration. But basically it was a taste that I wasn't used to after being smashed the night before. It was oddly comforting and delicious, and before my confusion could completely win me over, my mind flashed to me the image of alluring oceanic eyes and a dazzling smile, curved lips plump and swollen. Heat flared in my face and I closed my eyes again, draping my arm across my face as I sighed heavily. Now I knew why my tongue tasted sweet against the roof of my mouth. Why instead of feeling like utter crap— with the exception of my face; it was throbbing dully— I felt relatively okay. There was no headache of hangover, no nausea, no unwillingness to face the world. Although I would have preferred the "okay" to be "pretty fucking swell", I couldn't have everything in life.

But as I thought more and more upon the memories of the night before, I remembered details that, if hung over, I wouldn't think of for hours, sometimes even days. Adam and I had kissed three times. And it was nothing like a first kiss, nothing gentle or shy. It was always full on and sudden. But there was something that lingered about each kiss. The first had been aggressive, passionate, and heated. The definition of "in the moment". The second had been full of desire and need. But the third, of which was the freshest in my mind despite my being drunk at the time, was more urgent. Urgent and pained, but still brimming to the edge with emotions that I couldn't even begin to understand. I reached up and my fingers touched my lips gently; I smiled subconsciously to myself. Sure he was forceful and daring… But not even my mind could deny that I enjoyed it.

Though there was another issue— words rolled over in my head and pooled onto my tongue. The conversation I'd had with myself. I still couldn't understand why I had been responding to my own muddled thoughts. But what puzzled me even more was that the answers were not muddled or confusing. They were clear as daylight and assuring. As I questioned it more and more, they didn't even seem like my own thoughts. They were almost as if they were someone else's thoughts, either spoken and whirling in my head or… '_No, that's silly. Telekinesis isn't possible… Well, it is, but not in this kind of a situation— so get you're hopeful head out of the clouds already…_'

Sighing, I sat up slowly, rubbing my eyes, glancing around. A thick line of panic swept into my exhausted system. The room I was in was unfamiliar. The walls were white, the hard wood floors a beautiful cherry. The bed was a queen sized, with white silk sheets and thick grey blankets. I frowned, dropping my hands into my lap. The room was brightly lit, but the curtains that were draped over the window were enough to keep me from blinding myself. A stereo in the back hummed a soft, instrumental piece. Not something I was used to, I normally never slept with music on. Abstract art pieces hung on the walls, giving the room style and yet modern taste. A breath passed from between my lips as I went from wall to wall, my gaze sliding across the simplicity but good taste in design. I rubbed my eyes again, feeling a softness on my skin. Dropping my head, I frowned. When had my clothes been changed? Draped from my being were a pair of grey, flannel pants and a matching long sleeved shirt; both of which were about two sizes too large. The pants were held on by its tied drawstring and the shirt was simply loose and quite nice. Simple still, but fuck was it comfortable. The only thing distracting my comfort was the fact that I wasn't wearing my black jeans and my tank top from the night before.

I turned my head, seeing an arm chair tucked in the corner beside the closet. Upon its soft cushions were my clothes, looking freshly washed and dried, folded neatly with a note. Sighing softly, I pulled the thick blankets from my body, swinging my legs off of the side of the bed. The floor, despite being wood, was relatively warm and soothing. I exhaled heavily, exhausted as all hell. There was a pain on the curve of my wrist, and I glanced down, seeing a long, thin scar running from one side to the other, the surrounding skin cool and pale. I trailed my fingertips over the damaged tissue. My mind flashed a scene from the club fight— I must've scraped it against glass when I fell. But why was it so fully and freshly healed? Shrugging it off as yet another night club wonder, I walked slowly and stiffly to the chair, my feet shuffling on the floor like paw pads of an animal. On top of my shirt was a simple, small note in neat, slanted handwriting, _Washed your clothes for you. There're waffles in the oven in case they need to be heated again. Yours, Adam_

I stared at the note, a smile tugging at the corner of my lips as I lifted it into my hands. I could almost see him bent over the note, his strong hand gripping a pen, his hair a delicate mess from cooking and cleaning, an apron around his waist. I shook my head, and set the note down on the bed, glancing at the clothes. I could change and be modest… But I didn't feel like it. The pajamas were far too comfortable to abandon. Yawning, I stretched my arms above my head and turned, walking towards the door of the bedroom. Gripping the doorknob, I turned it, pulling the door open slowly. I stepped out of the room, shuffling across a hallway, under an archway, and into what looked like the main room. To the right was a couch that curved itself around a TV, a coffee table of the same cherry as the floor in front of it. In the far back corner was a desk and a computer on one wall, beside it a small sitting area with another small couch and a white, bowl shaped chair. Along the wall towards the left was a long bookshelf, stacked with fiction novels, CD cases, records, picture frames, graphic novels, comic books, dictionaries, photo albums, biographies, autobiographies, and a few other knick knacks and small boxes. Beside the bookshelves was another arch that looked as if it led into a kitchen of sorts.

I shouldn't have been surprised that I didn't hear him behind me, but I still jumped out of my skin and three feet into the air when his hand rested itself upon my right shoulder. I yelped and turned, swinging for his face. It was my natural reaction to lash out and attack when I was surprised or startled. I'd gotten Alex in the jaw once because he snuck up behind me and said "boo" in my ear. Adam's hand curled around my fist, holding it in an icy lock about three inches from his nose. A smile stretched from the two corners of his mouth, curving into the most spine-shivering smirk I'd seen yet. His ocean eyes gleamed in the grey light of the main room, and he opened his mouth to laugh. His raven hair wasn't gelled for once, lying in messy swoops around his face. A light brown sweater hung off of his shoulders, draping around his torso, the sleeves pulled up to his elbows. Black jeans clung to his hips with a studded black belt and original converse on his feet. I panted, relaxing my arm as he let me go, my black bangs falling in front of my eyes as I glanced away, blushing heavily.

"Did I scare you?" He asked, still laughing. I shot him a glare, before shoving my hair behind my ear.

"What do you think?" I hissed, but I couldn't fight my own urge to smile. His laugh and grin were infectious, and it was damned near impossible to be serious with him. I bent my head, giggling softly, my hair deciding to be a pain and falling in front of my face again. Adam's laugh quieted, and he smiled, before staring delicately at me. His eyes looked distant as he reached up and gently tucked my hair away again, his fingers icy on my skin. I shivered, but from what I couldn't be sure anymore. His smile altered, and his eyes cleared. He looked away shyly, and if he hadn't turned, I would have probably seen him blush.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to. Have you eaten?" He asked, changing the subject as easily as changing a television channel. At the sound of my stomach growling like a rabid lion, Adam turned and cracked up laughing again. My arms wound themselves over my stomach, and my face went hot with embarrassment.

"I don't know, you tell me." I replied, grinning ear to ear as I shuffled passed him, heading towards the kitchen. He shot in front of me, holding me back, a sly smile on his face.

"Ah, ah. You sit down, I'll get it." I blinked and chuckled, turning and sitting down at the dining room table, which was placed just off of the arch way of the kitchen. The table had a glass top and a metal frame, cushioned metal chairs placed one on each side of the rectangular shape. It was a cold contrast to the warmth of the cherry floors and modern furnishings, but it was also an elegant touch. The glass was cold, just as Adam's skin had been moments before. I glanced at the chipped polish of my finger nails, before frowning. I hated it when the paint chipped. I was an OCD perfectionist when it came to thinks like my hair and my nails, and seeing the cracks and peels bothered me like nothing else ever would.

A few moments later, Adam came strolling out of the kitchen with a plate of steaming waffles lathered lightly in butter and syrup in one hand and two glasses of milk in the other; how he managed such a feat I would never know. I smiled and thanked him as he set it down in front of me. I lifted the fork off of my plate, and cut out a small chunk of my waffles, before taking a bite. The warmth of the fluffy deliciousness sizzled on my tongue, and I exhaled loudly, expressing my delight of the taste in the sound of my voice. Adam laughed, taking a drink of his own milk.

"Adam, this is great, thank you!" I said happily. I hadn't had a breakfast like this since Alex had prepared a meal for me on my first morning living in Los Angeles. That had been almost a month ago. God— where the fuck did the time go? '_Right to Adam— remember, you had rehearsals almost every day, not to mention all the times you and Monte went out drinking at bars until four in the morning. Dipshit._' I brushed aside my meaningless thoughts as I horked another bite down, swallowing a few gulps of milk. Adam watched me with teasing eyes, and when I looked up he laughed.

"What?" I asked him. He shook his head and reached over slowly, his index finger wiping away something at the corner of my mouth. When he pulled away, I saw that a buttery-syrup mix had glued itself to my skin. I chuckled, licking the corner of my mouth to make sure that there was nothing left. Adam wiped his fingers on the napkin that rested beside him, and he took another drink of milk.

"I'm sorry I didn't take you home last night. I didn't know where you lived and I figured you'd had enough to drink to be gone for several hours, so I didn't want to bother you to find out." He said softly. I swallowed a bite of waffles.

"It's fine. I was a little confused when I woke up at first, but I wasn't too freaked by it; I've woken up in stranger places than this." I said with a light laugh. He didn't press the notion, but I could see in his eyes that he was curious to know what kind of places I'd woken up in.

"I see. So, if you want to— after you're done eating, I can take you home." He offered with a smile, but there was something in his eyes that was troubling me. I wasn't sure if something had gone wrong or he wasn't pleased with the idea of taking me somewhere when I could stay… I looked away, taking another bite before speaking up again.

"Well, I do have a couple things I need to take care of. Due to rehearsals and such, I haven't really been staying in the same place. The first week here in L.A. I was staying with my best friend Alex, but once rehearsals kicked in, I kinda crashed at Monte's a lot." I explained. Adam nodded once. "But I've still got some stuff over at Alex's house, so would you mind taking me there?" Adam nodded once again, a smile tugging at his lips. But there it was again, that hint of trouble in his eyes.

"Adam?" I said softly. He looked up at me from over his milk glass. "What's wrong? You seem upset." He blinked once, setting his milk down and wiping off his mouth with his napkin.

"Good Morning America canceled because of the AMA's." He said, his face set into a look of disappointment. I frowned, my throat clenching. Why would they cancel over something like that? Well…

"Oh… I'm sorry—" he waved me off.

"It's not your fault Tommy, don't worry about it." He said with a slight smile. I nodded once, finishing my waffles and my milk. Adam stood, taking my dishes and retreating into the kitchen. I sighed, full and pleased with breakfast, though disappointed all the same. How could Good Morning America cancel Adam barely a few days before he was supposed to go on their show? Because he got a little frisky on stage? Big whoop. I ran my sticky fingers through my hair before I could realize what I was doing. I groaned. I'd need a shower. Maybe Alex would let me clean up at his place..

I stood from the table, pushing the chair in as I crossed through the main room back into the hallway, before pushing the bedroom door open. I crossed to the chair that had my clothes, and I grabbed them, tossing them onto the bed next to the note. Unbuttoning the shirt, I shrugged out of it slowly, folding it as neatly as I could manage and placing it on the bed. Tugging on my tank top, I untied the pants and folded them as well, setting them on top of the shirt, before pulling my jeans up to my hips. I snatched my socks from the chair, pulling them over my feet before retreating from the bedroom. I glanced right, seeing an open door of the bathroom. Gliding down the hallway, I slipped inside, closing the door behind me. The bathroom had the same wood floor, light brown walls and a large mirror. The walls were high, a sunroof with stained glass trickling in flows of green, blue, and orange light. Tucked behind a small wall was the toilet, and on the other side of said wall was a tiled open shower with a drain in the far corner of the floor. The shower head was sealed to the wall, the water knobs a good two feet below it. A stained glass door served as the only shielding, but I imagined that it was more than enough. The glass pictured a young maiden bathing beneath a waterfall. I smiled at the beauty of it, before turning and washing my hand in the porcelain sink. The clear crystals were warm against my skin, and I stood there for a few minutes just letting the water slip between my fingers.

Despite the wondrous warmth, I knew I had to leave the warmth and sanctity of the bathroom. Reluctantly, I shut the water off, drying my hands on a soft towel next to the sink. I sighed heavily, turning on my heel and walking out of the bathroom. I could hear Adam talking to someone, but I didn't hear a responding voice, so he must've been on his cell. I turned the corner into the main room, seeing Adam standing off to the far right of the room, his back to me as he faced out a large, open window. The view was stunning— a glimpse over the streets and day-lights of Los Angeles. I smiled at the sight, before turning towards the door, and seeing my shoes tucked neatly into a corner. Padding along, I knelt down and shoved my feet into my shoes, lacing them loosely and turning back around. Adam was still talking, but it sounded as if the person he was talking to was angry at him, for his voice was irritated and louder than normal.

"No— I don't want to argue with you right now. All I wanted was for you to arrange that meeting… I understand that I put you on a time crunch, and I apologize for— damnit, will you let me finish?!" There was a long silence and I stood beside the couch facing the bowl-shaped chair. I could hear a muffled sound on the other end of the line, and Adam sighed heavily.

"Fine— whatever. I'll see you later tonight." He said in a huff, lowering his phone from his ear and pressing the End Call button on the screen. He turned, seeing me standing across the room from him. His eyes widened slightly, and he looked away, sliding his phone into the pocket of his pants. He looked frustrated and miffed, though entirely about what I wasn't sure he would tell me. Adam glanced back up at me, before letting out a long, heavy breath, running his fingers through his messy hair. "I'm sorry you had to hear all of that… C'mon, I'll take you to your friend's house…" He said softly, grabbing his jacket from the back of the couch that he stood next to. I nodded once, motionless as he brushed passed me, towards the front door. I bit on my bottom lip, ignoring the urge to grab his hand and give it a squeeze. Why did I want to grab his hand?

I shoved my hands in my pockets and followed him, passing under the archway again. His shoes made soft thumps on the floor, as did mine behind him. He pulled open the door, holding it open as I passed him by. I stepped out, feeling his icy fingers trail against the back of my hand. I shivered, and glanced down, watching his hand snap away and into his pocket. I blinked and smiled slightly. He was fighting the same urge, but had slipped slightly. He walked close behind me as we traveled down a long, empty hallway, passing white doors with stainless steel knobs. I remember numbers, but as to which ones I couldn't fathom. I turned a corner, walking down a short segment of the hallway before Adam reached in front of me and pressed the down button. I stepped aside as he came up beside me. I glanced down at my shoes, not wanting to meet his eyes. The elevator ringed, and the doors slid open slowly. Adam motioned for me to go first, and I gave him a nod, stepping onto the elevator. The stainless steel walls gleamed, the floor a creamy pale marble. God— this place was too high-rise for my liking…

Adam stepped beside me, pressing the garage floor button. I glanced up, peering at the corners and ceiling lights. Adam glanced over at me and smirked. I raised an eye brow at him and he just shook his head, his smile stretching further at his lips. I had to look away again— I couldn't let myself get caught up in that smile of his. I dropped my head for a brief moment, before looking back up and staring blankly at the wall of buttons. Fuck— how many floors were in this place? Twenty… thirty… shit… A long breath passed from between my lips, and I noticed Adam shifted beside me, one foot to the other. I wondered if he was just as uncomfortable as I was.

The elevator dinged, and the doors slid open, blasting in Los Angeles heat and smog. I gagged lightly, shaking my head and stepping out into the heat, Adam close behind me. I had half a mind to turn around and cling to him since he was a walking ice cube. But I didn't. I kept walking forward as he brushed beside me, guiding me towards a sleek, black Porsche. I raised an eyebrow in his general direction, and he chuckled, shaking his head again. Mr. Lambert's got some sweet wheels.

He pulled out his keys and unlocked the car, tossing his coat into the back seat before sliding in. I opened my own door, sliding onto the warm leather seats. The car had a crisp, minty smell, and I smiled, shutting my door. Buckling my seat belt, Adam did the same before sliding the keys into the ignition, turning and letting the car rumble to life with gentle, sweet purrs.

"Where does he live?" Adam asked softly, his voice sounded low and slightly hoarse. But I didn't think about it, probably just needed to clear his throat.

"Outer edge of L.A. Manchester apartments." I replied. He nodded, putting the car into reverse, easily pulling out of the parking spot and speeding out of the garage, into the California sun. He inhaled sharply, as if pained. I glanced over at Adam, seeing his right hand tense on the wheel. He looked uncomfortable. I frowned deeply, and he turned his eyes to me, and shook his head once. _Don't worry about it._ His eyes seemed to say. But he looked sickly. His lips were paling, his eyes looked tired. I turned my attention away, staring out at the passing streets and corporate rises. I didn't want to see that of him. It made me sad and worried, but more than anything it made me confused. Confused as to why he looked so sick and to why I was so concerned.

Subconsciously, I scratched at the scar on my wrist, before glancing down and seeing that the skin around the line was dried out and irritated. I sighed softly, my nails trailing over the irritated skin in a never ending pattern, back and forth, back and forth. More streets, more buildings, more cars, more of everything in Los Angeles passed us by as Adam swiftly kept the Porsche on path towards the outer edges of L.A. I kept stealing secret, forbidden glances to Adam, and every time I did, he looked sicker and sicker, as if every mile made him weak. Shadows were forming under his eyes, pooling like football grease. He was breathing harder, his hands tight on the wheel. I blinked, staring at the side-view of his eyes. They looked red— not in the whites, but the irises themselves. Instead of crystal, oceanic blue, red rimmed the outer lining of the blue, fading into purple, fading into blue. Almost as if the red was seeping in and infecting his beautiful eyes. But I blinked again, looking away. No, there wasn't red in his eyes, that was just my mind fucking with me. Surely.

But I looked back again, and saw the red. This time, Adam looked over at me briefly, before turning away again. "What?" He asked, his voice harsh and irritated. I shrunk away slightly, glancing out the window.

"Nothing. You just… Look awful." I said truthfully, despite not wanting to sound so mean. He scoffed, and shook his head.

"I'm fine." His voice was gravely. He wasn't fine. He looked like he was about ready to keel over and just vomit.

"Adam— you look like death, what's wrong?" I asked. He glanced at me, and laughed. But this wasn't a laugh that was right. It was harsh, raspy, and sickly. Even bordering to sinister. I shuddered, not even realizing that he was pulling into the parking lot of the apartment. He steered the car into a shaded spot, and he sighed, glancing over at me.

"What?"

"Adam— I…" I paused. It was pointless to argue with him. But I knew something was wrong. Deep in my gut I knew he wasn't fine and that he was really sick. I didn't want him to get angry with me, so I took a deep breath, letting it out slowly. "Thanks for the ride.." I said simply, my fingers lacing around the handle of the door. I started to open it when his hand lashed out and grabbed my wrist. I shivered, whipping my head around and staring at his fingers, wrapped around my wrist like a delicate, dry bracelet. Adam's eyes dropped to where mine rested, and he slowly let go. My hand inched forward, and my fingers looped with his, my palm pressed against the iciness. I gave his hand a gentle squeeze, letting it rest there as I looked up at his face. Being in the shade, I couldn't see his features well, but I could tell he looked a little better. He smiled slightly, dropping his eyes for a moment. When he looked back up again, his free hand lifted, inching toward my face. I breathed lightly as his fingers grazed against my cheek, his palm cupping my face. He leaned forward slowly, and I felt my eyes closing before I noticed it. His breath was cold on my face, but it felt nice and comforting. My heart was thrashing in my chest, and his lips brushed against my lower lip, before he tilted my head and kissed my forehead. Disappointment washed through me, and I realized that my heart was going frantic.

"Thank you for your concern, but I'm fine. Really." He whispered against my forehead. I looked up at him, wanting to lean up and kiss him hard, but he was already pulling away from me. I frowned slightly, unlacing my fingers from his. I nodded, before opening the door and stepping out, closing it behind me. Before I could even turn and give him a wave goodbye, he was rolling out of the parking spot, and turning away, driving into the street and out of sight.


	14. Everything's Wrong

**Saturday evening, 5:57 PM**

Burning… burning… burning…

Oh God, he was burning.

Nothing else had ever felt so agonizing, so utterly sickening and painful. He wanted to curl up and die right there in the middle of the hallway. But somehow his feet were still carrying him, somehow he was still moving despite feeling as if he was covered head to two in nearly third degree burns and tasting blood on the back of his tongue. He gagged, blindly stumbling and slamming into his door. To anyone who were to see him, they'd think he was about to puke or that he was drunk. He would have preferred to be drunk, even for days at a time. He would prefer anything but this, burning, agonizing torture. Oh God… anything…

'_Just a little farther… just a little more, Adam… You can do it, you can do it…_' He told himself over and over again, shoving open the door. Adam hurled himself into his condo, gagging and choking as venom and blood curdled in the back of his throat. His eyes were burning, his skin was itching up storms that he could not believe. He knew that there would probably be a few flakes or cracks— the skin around his nails were nearly raw, bleeding lightly. Shutting the slab, his breathing was coming in harsh gasps as he sank to the floor, leaning against his door. His hair felt heavy and oily on his skull, his tongue dry as his body trembled. He'd been so afraid that Tommy would notice too much. That the boy would try to touch him, try to figure out what was wrong. He shivered, weak and exhausted from the exposure to sunlight. It hadn't been an hour, and already he was facing severe risks. He needed blood. But he couldn't go out again. He would surely die if he did.

But Tommy— even in his sickened state, Adam still questioned why the drinks didn't work. Why after three shots laced with venom, the boy hadn't changed. Though when he was beyond passed out, and Adam had sucked the alcohol from his system, the scar on his wrist was pale and cold, obviously changed. He couldn't think about it now though, he couldn't let himself worry when he was ill. Adam cursed his being, cursed his life. He never wanted any of this. He never wanted to be a vampire, but circumstances a few years ago had left him no choice. He just wish the person who'd changed him had given him better instruction, better guidance. His body trembled, his stomach lurching. Oh no, oh no, oh no…

Crawling on his hands and knees, Adam pulled himself into the main room, trying to use the burnt strength to pull himself onto his couch. Fortunately, the sun didn't pour through the windows, it was already beginning to set. He could survive through the night without blood and be better by morning, in which he'd be comfortable enough to call up one of those little fans of his who'd slipped him her number, and he could dry her out. But the idea of treating such adoring people to that degree sickened him worse than what the sunlight had done to him. No, he wouldn't kill one of his own fans. He couldn't bring himself to that.

His fingers clawed at the leathery fabric, and he pulled himself up onto the couch, his body screaming from the burns and the cracks. He groaned in bloody agony, rolling onto his back and breathing hard. The heat had been another problem in the factor of his state. As it was, he hated the heat, but the combination of direct sunlight as well as the atmosphere of the car itself had left him to the breaking point of driving onward and pulling off to the side to devour Tommy. The image of draining that beautiful boy made his stomach turn, and Adam coughed hard. He covered his mouth with his hand, slowly sitting up as his body convulsed, and blood splattered onto his skin. His burning eyes stared down at the crimson liquid, sticking to his nails and oozing between his fingers. He exhaled loudly, flopping back down, his hand lying face up on his thigh.

His dry hand reached into his pocket, and he pulled out his cell phone. There was really only one person he could call that could help him. Without looking at the screen, Adam typed in Joshua's phone number, the dried skin on his thumb making loud taps against the screen. When he finished, he dropped his hand towards his head, holding the cell to his ear. Ring… Ring… Ring… Ri—

"Adam." Joshua said, not as a question, but as matter of fact.

"I need your help.." Adam whispered into the receiving end of the phone, his voice dry, weak, and gravely. He could almost see Joshua's eyes widen in the back of his mind.

"Where are you?"

"At home."

"I'll be there in a moment." No hesitation— the call ended. Adam let his phone slip from his fingers, sliding off of the couch and crashing to the floor. He didn't care at that point. He was in too much pain and he was too weak to care. It didn't matter to him. His head pounded, pain flaring behind his eyes. Even though the light was fading, he had to close his lids and let himself drown in internal darkness. Everything was too bright and too loud, he couldn't take it. He hoped that Joshua was careful, because the attempt would be hopeless if Joshua fell ill to the sun's evil. His head was spinning like a merry-go-round, threatening to send him keeling over into a world of vomiting oblivion.

He wasn't sure how long Joshua would really take. How far was the bartender away? How much light was truly outside? Adam wasn't sure, but he was pretty certain that he dozed off and on, waking up only long enough to cough and choke briefly on his own venom. A soft click sounded, and Adam could smell the fresh kill in Joshua's stomach, boiling like an acidic temptation. His stomach growled and he felt nauseas again.

"Dear God, Adam, what the hell happened?!" Joshua said, kneeling down beside him. Adam opened his eyes, seeing the concern in his sinful brother's eyes. The glam star blinked once, weak. He felt so tired. He didn't want to speak, he didn't want to move. His body ached and his teeth raked against his tongue. He wanted to claw at his own skin and just let his blood spill out. But in the dark, depths of his mind, he saw a face. A creamy-flesh, naturally paled face with short, two-toned hair and brown eyes, a sly smile with a hint of mischief. Adam fought back the urge to vomit blood.

"I had to take Tommy to a friend's place… It was still daylight…" He said softly, his voice barely above a whisper. Hoarse, scratchy; his throat was burning as Joshua rolled up the sleeve of his left arm, exposing a still, blue vein beneath white flesh. He knew Adam was too weak to be concerned with biting through the marble skin, so Joshua drew a long, thin line along his wrist with his thumb, crimson beads splicing up through the wound. The red head leaned forward, gently pressing the slit to Adam's lips. The glam star's tongue flicked along the opening, and Joshua twitched, closing his eyes.

Adam's hands lifted, gripping Joshua's arm as he drank the red head's blood from the small wound. His tongue slid back and forth before he gained enough strength to sink his teeth around the opening, stretching it wider and pouring more delicious crimson into his mouth. Joshua moaned, restlessly shifting beside Adam as a discomfort began to arise in both of them. Joshua's mouth dropped open as he rested his head against Adam's shoulder, letting his throaty cries of discomfort and pleasure melt into the fabric of Adam's shirt. Joshua moaned over and over, his voice pained and sexually deprived.

"Adam…" The bartender groaned, dragging out the glam star's name. Adam shoved Joshua's wrist away, turning and grabbing his blood brother by the back of the neck and lifting his head, shoving his lips onto Joshua's. The red head responded by slipping his tongue between Adam's teeth, raking it across one of Adam's fangs, blood pooling into both of their mouths. Adam's free hand latched onto Joshua's shoulder, and with great effort he pulled the red head over him, their lips never once leaving one another. The tightness Adam's jeans were almost unbearable, and he could feel as Joshua thrust his hips into Adam's that the bartender was in the same situation.

There was no need for breath as their lips and tongues fucked with mad, blood crazed lust. Adam's hands dropped to Joshua's hips, and he shoved upward, grinding against the denim covered erection of Joshua. The red head moaned against Adam's mouth, his hands sliding under Adam's shirt and raking against his skin. Not hard enough to draw blood, but hard enough to make Adam's back arch into the digging. The glam star's moans vibrated against Joshua's tongue, making the red head shiver violently. Adam's eyes slid shut, and behind them he saw a beautiful, sly smile. And there was an urgency that he felt from Joshua and for the tender, but even with the pressure throbbing against the front of his jeans and the blood on his tongue, Adam shoved against Joshua's shoulders. Not hard enough to send the bartender fly, but enough to force Joshua's lips away. Adam sighed, feeling physical healthier and stronger. But his heart was hammering with pain, and it wasn't from the sunlight. It was from what he was doing— fooling around with another vampire, another man.

"Adam?" Joshua said the glam star's name softly, confused and hurt. Adam glanced up into those bright, brown eyes laced with red from sharing blood and sexual urgency. Joshua's eyes betrayed everything, and Adam shoved him away again. He was disgusted with himself and with the bartender. Joshua wanted more than what Adam could give him, more than he wanted to give him. Joshua's hands gripped Adam's tightly as Adam sat up slowly, his stomach flipping lightly. He was still weak, but he was better than before. His skin was still dry but healed, his head stopped pounding, there was no convulsions, no blood, no nothing. He still trembled though, and that would last for a while.

"Adam— baby, what's wrong?" Joshua spoke. Adam's eyes lifted, and he snarled swiping at the bartender.

"Everything—!" Adam said, his voice rising into a yell at the last little bit. How could he do this to Tommy, to himself?! Joshua's eyes widened and narrowed in moments, his expression confused and angered. Adam didn't blame him; the glam star kept plucking him around like a cat with a mouse. Adam ripped his hands out of the bartender's grasp and he stood from the couch, swaying slightly, before regaining his balance. He couldn't do this to Tommy, couldn't do this to his own heart. He cared too much for the two-toned bassist to fuck around with an old friend.

"Adam, what are you talking about?" Joshua said, his voice soft. Adam sighed.

"I can't keep… I just can't keep doing this. You're my best friend, Joshua, and I…" Joshua scoffed and rolled his eyes, curling back onto his knees. Adam's eyes narrowed and he tilted his head to the side. The red head ran his fingers through his hair, pulling hard on it before looking back up at Adam, his eyes burning with envy and irritation. Adam's lips curved into a frown. It was a look on Joshua's face that he knew wasn't pleasant. He hadn't seen it really before, but there had been many looks just like that before.

"This is about that Tommy kid, isn't it?" Joshua's voice came out in a harsh hiss, and Adam took a step back, appalled.

"Partially…"

"Partially… 'Partially', he says!" Joshua pulled himself off of the couch, standing and placing his hands on his hips, his back turned to Adam.

"Joshua…"

"No, Adam— you don't get it, do you?!" Joshua spun on his heel, taking one step forward, moving in a blur. His hands latched onto Adam's shoulders, and he pushed, shoving Adam into the bookshelves. Adam groaned, his back aching as shelves caved in and books spilled around his shoulders and crashed against his feet. Some even hit Joshua's arms, but neither vampire cared. Such abuses were painful but afflicted no damage to their bodies or their mentality. Joshua's face was inches from Adam's, his bloodied breath like smoke in Adam's lungs. "I fell in love with you, you little fucker! I fell in love with you and all you've ever done is let me drink off you when I needed it. All you've ever done was string me around like I was some little whore while you fucked around with living, breathing, pulsing flesh bags. I'm sick of it, Adam!" Joshua screamed, his eyes wild. Adam tried to search Joshua's eyes for the crack of a smile, the crack of a joke, but nothing betrayed that. Joshua was angry, and that scared Adam.

"Joshua, I'm… I didn't… I'm sorry, I—" Joshua reached up and slapped him across the face. If it had been a mortal, it would have been nothing. But Joshua was what Adam was, and the slap— the icy, stony skin on equally icy-stone skin was like warm flesh on warm flesh. It stung, and it shocked Adam.

"Don't fucking apologize to me, Adam!" The bartender pulled him forward and slammed him against the bookshelf again. "Don't you dare!!" Adam's eyes were wide with fear and disbelief. What had happened to Joshua, his beautiful brother? There was a burning rage in the bartender's eyes and Adam wanted to shrink away from it. It hurt. It hurt so bad.

"Joshua…" Adam's voice was soft. He hadn't been this afraid since his death and "rebirth", and while that was a good few years ago, it was still fresh as ever. But now he felt a kind of fear that he was unaccustomed to. He didn't like it. At all.

"Stop it— Just stop it! Don't even try!" Joshua pulled him forward again, slamming his back into the bookshelf. More books and trinkets toppled around them, before the bookshelf gave away, crumbling into chunks of wood and steel screws, clattering to the floor. Adam's back was numbed with aches, and he coughed, thankful that he wouldn't be bruised or cut. Just uncomfortable for a while. But at the rate Joshua kept hitting him, he wasn't sure he'd be so lucky to remain just uncomfortable.

"What else do you want me to do?! Because obviously I'm doing something wrong!" Adam shouted, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Joshua's lip curled into a sneer.

"You're doing a lot of things wrong. You've been so oblivious this last year, so busy with your fucking little celebrity life. I'm sick of it, Adam. I remember a time where you didn't have cameras chasing you and little leather-clad sluts shoving their tits against your chest. I remember a time where I thought you actually cared!" Joshua turned, hurling Adam, across the room. The glam star half-stumbled, half-flew backwards, crashing into the back of the couch before falling to his knees. He groaned, his body trembling.

"I still care, Joshua…" He said softly.

"Bull shit! You're fucking around with that little Tommy slut, yanking my chain and giving me false hope." Joshua stormed over and grabbed Adam's chin, lifting his gaze to the red head's. "Take a good look at my face, Adam— because this is the last time you'll ever see it as your friend if you don't accept me as more than your little baby bottle when you get sick…" Adam's jaw would have dropped if Joshua wasn't crushing it in his fingertips. He couldn't figure out what had happened really. He'd told Joshua that he couldn't do it— but the red head had never really let him finish. He'd jumped to conclusions, most of which were in truth, but there was more that he didn't understand.

"What do you want from me?" Adam asked softly. Joshua's eyes, for the briefest of moments, when from enraged to pleading. He knelt down to where Adam was kneeling, placing his hands on both sides of the glam star's face.

"I want you to love me. I want you to need me like Drake once needed you. Is that so hard to wish for, Adam?" He whispered, leaning forward to press his lips to Adam's. The raven haired vampire placed his palm against Joshua's chest, his eyes flashing dark red, and Joshua went flying backwards. The red head's nail dug deep into Adam's skin, and the glam star howled as it raked across his flesh, leaving a long, narrow cut from the top of his cheek bone down to the corner of his mouth. Blood spliced and trickled down his marble skin as Joshua crashed against the floor of the dining area. His head slammed against the wood, and he was still for a long moment.

"Don't you get it, Joshua? I can't… I can't return that emotion for you, I'm sorry." He said softly. Joshua didn't answer. He didn't seem to be moving or breathing. He was just still. So still that Adam wondered if he'd killed the boy. But he was reminded, painfully, that such a crash wouldn't daze the boy so much as kill him. Adam's chest hurt; not from the repeated bashings into the bookshelf or slamming into the back of the couch, but because for a moment his frozen heart seemed to swell and explode with agony. He'd known for a long time just how much Joshua cared about him, how much the boy loved him. But he'd hoped that by pretending not to notice it, by going off on his own life and with whomever he pleased that Joshua would understand. But it appeared that his attempts had been all for nothing. The boy's emotions and desires had seemed to only grow stronger. He would never give up.

Joshua sat up slowly, his eyes blank as he pulled himself to his feet. Adam stayed where he was, watching as the red head dusted himself off and turned away, walking slowly towards the arch way, heading for the door. Adam's head dropped, and he sighed heavily, his chest aching more, his breath tight in his lungs. He'd lost one of his best friends, one of his only friends. The only person he could trust with everything and anything. Joshua's footsteps were light as he walked, and he stopped, taking a long breath. Adam's eyebrow rose in confusion, but the boy kept his back turned, even as he spoke.

"You wondered why Tommy didn't change when I gave him the drink. Well, Dear Adam, I had hoped you would have figured it out, since it wasn't that hard to begin with." Joshua turned his head just enough so Adam could see the rage, the disgust, and the ever-loathing pride in one of his eyes. "I never laced them with venom. It was just straight alcohol."

The ringing in Adam's ears muted the sound of Joshua's footsteps and the door slamming. How could he have been so stupid…?


	15. Worst Mistake

**Saturday, 6:02 PM**

This had been the worst idea of mine ever.

Part of me had screamed that by coming back, even just to grab my shit, I'd be walking into a nightmare. That there would be an inferno of chaos and rage and I would be sucked into the middle of it because people didn't know how to grow the fuck up anymore. But I still held hope that I'd be able to get in and get out alive, without so much as a few scratched and bumps along the way. That's how it always was before, but I guess I couldn't have it my way anymore. Plus it didn't help that I had walked into hell with Adam's kisses still fresh on my skin, and his sickened image in my mind. I hoped he was okay. I nearly got down onto my knees and prayed to the Lord to make sure he was okay. But I hadn't been given the chance, nor the empty room to myself to do it. From the instance I had knocked on Alex's door to now, it had been nothing but ruin.

When Alex had opened the door and he'd seen me, he smiled, giving me a hug and asking how I'd been. I'd only stayed for a few days before bouncing around Monte's place and Longineu's, but I still had some of my stuff here. I'd told him I was good, kind of tired from the previous events. His face had curved into a smile that practically laser beamed me through a wall it was so bright. He'd said he'd seen the AMA's, thought it was hot, asked if I'd changed. I didn't answer, I just shook my head with a slight smile.

"Can I use your shower really fast? I'm in a bit of desperate need.." I'd said. Alex nodded, saying that he'd let me borrow some of his clothes if I wanted to. I said thanks— all of my clothes were still at Monte's, and he was gone for the weekend with his wife, Lisa, and his kids. '_Sweet family…_' I remembered thinking to myself as I followed Alex to his and Drake's room. I'd made damned sure that I didn't really touch anything, for God knows what was Alex's and what was Drake's. In the darkness I couldn't tell, so I was being cautious. Alex had pulled out a pair of dark blue skinny jeans and a blue and grey striped shirt. I thanked him once, before retreating into the shower.

Being clean was a nice feeling, but nice feelings didn't seem to last in Alex's apartment. At least not when I was there. I'd stepped out of the steamy bathroom, dressed and running my fingers through my damp hair when I'd looked up, seeing Drake leaning against the couch. I froze momentarily, and he turned his head, seeing me. His nostrils flared, his eyes widened in anger, and his head snapped to where Alex was most likely sitting in the dining room.

"What the fuck is he doing here?!" Drake had shouted at Alex, and I felt a tremor of rage spike through my body. I wanted so badly to punch that mother fucker, but I knew I couldn't, not with Alex in the room, anyway.

"I was just taking a shower and grabbing my shit. I'll be out of your hair in a few moments." I said bitterly, walking into the living room and grabbing my backpack off of the floor by the couch. It still had a few of my personal items in it, like the book whose title I still couldn't really seem to focus on, some money, and a few other things I'd gotten during the drive from Sacramento. Little things, but they were still mine. I slung the backpack over my shoulder, hitting Drake in the process. It had been an accident, but an accident I didn't mind occurring. "Sorry—" I'd said, before he shoved me into the coffee table, my knee slamming on the corner.

"Drake!" Alex shouted, horrified. I heard his feet scruff against the carpet and Alex came up beside me to make sure I was okay. I waved him off and turned towards Drake, who was standing. I shrugged out of my backpack, setting it down on the table.

"That hurt, you prissy bitch." I snarled, my hands curling into fists at my side. Drake scoffed, rolling his eyes and crossing his arms over his chest.

"Bitch please, that didn't hurt. You should know real pain, being fucked by Lambert." Red pooled at the edges of my vision.

"For your information, asshole, I wasn't the one fucking around with two men at once! Or have you not bothered to tell Alex that while you promised him you were through with Adam, your were still grinding your dick into his thigh?" Drake's eyes widened in fury and he lunged, swinging for me. Oh shit. I shoved Alex out of the way, ducking Drake's slow swipe before hurling my fist at his face, connecting with the lower right side of his jaw. He flew backwards, landing on the carpeted floor on his back. Alex rushed over to him to try to pull him to his feet. Even after being told his boyfriend had been a cheater, he was still faithful as ever. I wanted to shake Alex and tell him that his stupid boyfriend was a fucking loser who didn't deserve the time of day, let alone his heart. But I'd been too dumbfounded to say anything as Drake let Alex pull him to his feet, before shoving my best friend into the dining room table. A yelp of pain escaped Alex's lips as he slumped to the floor. The corner of the table had caught him in between his ribs. Red swallowed my vision.

"You would know, you little eavesdropper. My business is not for open public, fag." Drake lunged for me again, and I side stepped him, watching him crash into the coffee table.

"I'm the fag?! It seems to me you're the over emotional, egotistical, drama queen fag in this room…" I crossed to the table, grabbing Drake by the collar of his shirt and lifting him off of his feet. I was about an inch or two taller than him, but I was also stronger than him. His eyes lit with light terror as I pulled him close to my face, snarling. "If you ever fuck with the emotions of my best friends again, I'll make sure you don't wake up the next morning. Now, pack your shit and get out of Alex and Adam's lives." I dropped him on the corner of the table, watching his body jerk as his spine connected with the edge. He groaned in pain, and I turned towards where Alex had been.

"Alex, are you—" I started to say, but Alex had moved closer and his palm lashed against my cheek, twisting my head sideways. The contact of his hand on my cheek stung brightly, and I turned back, staring at him with confusion and shock. His eyes were burning with disbelief, anger, and sadness. Disbelief that his boyfriend had cheated. Anger that I had hurt him. Sadness that he had to choose. And out of everything…

"Get out. Don't come back." He said.

He'd chosen Drake.

I blinked, sighing heavily. Grabbing my backpack, I walked around the couch, stopping in front of the door. I glanced over my shoulder, seeing Alex kneeling beside Drake, helping him onto his back on the floor. I shook my head and ripped open the apartment door, stepping out and slamming it behind me. I wanted to grab Alex by the wrist and drag him out the door with me, but he'd chosen to stay with Drake. I respect Alex as my friend and as my brother. Leaning against the door I sighed for a moment, looking down into the parking lot. My Demon was resting quietly in the darkness. I'd almost forgotten I'd left it here for weeks on end, using it only occasionally. I followed the path to the stairs, trotting down the stone steps and walking to my car. I pulled my keys out from the side pocket of my backpack, thankful that Alex had pulled everything together for me. I shoved the keys into the lock, glancing up at the second floor, into the window of Alex's apartment.

"Goodbye, Alex." I muttered, opening my car door and sliding onto the seat, setting my backpack on the passenger seat. I closed the door, starting the car and pulling out of the parking spot. The evening darkness washed around the sleek blackness, and I drove out of the lot in silence, my head twisting around what had just happened. I exhaled a loud, heavy breath, glancing at the clock on the dashboard. Five to seven. I hadn't even been here an hour, but it had felt like an eternity.

While driving, I thought about the fact I really didn't have a place to live now. Monte and Lisa were out of town, I didn't know where Longineu lived… The only other place I could think of was Adam's condo, but I didn't want to burden him. Sure, our lives were mingled with one another's, but that didn't mean I had to live with him. I couldn't put that on him for long term. But tonight was a different situation. I needed a place to stay. I hoped I'd be able to room with him again. But barging in would be rude of me. Pulling out my cell phone, I scrolled into my contacts, his name first on the list. I smiled, pressing the Call button, and I held it to my ear. It rung twice before his cool voice filtered in from his line.

"Tommy?" I smiled slightly, stopping at a red light.

"Yeah."

"What's up?" He sounded distracted. I wondered if I was interrupting something.

"Would you mind if I crashed at your place tonight? Things didn't go over well at Alex's…" I said softly, pressing down on the gas pedal and rolling forward.

"I wouldn't mind at all. How long do you need?" I smiled. Thank God for Adam.

"Long enough so I can find my own place. I'm hoping it won't be long though." I could almost see the faded smile on his lips, the sweet distance in his eyes.

"Stay as long as you need, Glitterbaby." I stared out into the street, a smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. As interesting as the name was, I liked it. I needed a nickname for him… Something sweet, something that only belonged to us—

"Thanks, Babyboy." Babyboy? Oh fuck… He laughed though; he liked it.

"Alright, I'll see you soon." He said softly. I felt a tremble running down my spine and blood rushed to my face. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been excited to see anyone. And of all people, it was Adam. Adam fucking Lambert. Shutting off my phone, I coasted along a surprisingly empty street, the city lights and moon gleaming along the pavement as people stumbled along the sidewalks, drunk and stoned from the parties and the clubs. I had an urge to pull over and join them, but I kept on driving, passing them by instead. And as I watched them in my rearview mirror, I felt no remorse for staying in the safety of my car, driving to Adam's place.

I cruised onward, thinking back to earlier, when Adam had been driving me out to Alex's. He looked so sickly, paler than normal. And his eyes had been lined red, as if burnt by the sun. I frowned, turning onto another street, the masses of high-rise condos looming into view. Over the phone he sounded much better, healthier. I sighed, turning onto another street, rolling along and slowing at a stop light. Maybe he just wasn't a day person. I didn't really blame him, since I wasn't much of one myself. I spun the wheel again, cruising down the road before turning into the parking garage of the building. I pulled into an empty spot, beside Adam's Porsche. Smiling to myself, I grabbed my backpack, and stepping out of the car, closing the door and locking it. I looked up, seeing Adam standing beside the elevator doors, looking much better. My smile widened as he lifted his gaze to mine, and a grin stretch on his face.

"Hey, Glitterbaby." He said coolly across the garage. I walked up beside him, pressing the Up button for the elevator, before placing my palm against his shoulder and leaning up, pecking him gently on the lips. Fuck whatever I had believed before. I cared about Adam too much to deny it anymore. As I pulled away I saw the shock and joy mingling in his eyes. But along with the emotion in his eyes, I saw a strange, light scar running down his cheek. I frowned, but I wasn't given the opportunity to ask him about it. He bent his head down, kissing me softly. I shivered against him, both from his cold body and the taste of his tongue refreshing warm memories in my mind. Adam moaned against my lips, his fingers trailing across my cheek as his palm slowly cupped my face. His tongue glided along my lower lip, brushing between my teeth and caressing the insides of my mouth, before he pulled away.

"C'mon, let's get you inside." He said as I breathed hard, feeling my face flush as the doors slid open, and he stepped inside. I followed him, suddenly feeling very awkward and uncoordinated. I wasn't sure if by stepping into the elevator that I should shove him into part of the wall and press my lips to his or if I should just stand quietly beside him and not say a word. I turned, leaning against the wall beside him— not saying a word. '_Way to be even more awkward, Tommy. I'm sure you're making Adam so comfortable right now, since the two of you just kissed again. Are you two dating yet? Fuck sakes…_' I looked up at his face again, worried about that scar. It hadn't been there earlier today, I was certain of it, but I didn't want to really ask. I dropped my eyes, staring at the floor.

Adam glanced over at me, a slight smile on his face as the elevator rose. His palm slid against mine, his fingers twining themselves with my fingers. I smiled back at him, leaning against his arm, my mind reeling with all kinds of emotions and thoughts. Part of me wanted to be the one to ask if we were a "thing" or not, part of me wanted to leave the subject alone and just go with the ride. But I didn't want to end up in a situation where there may have been assumption only to have shit hit the fan later down the road. But what if he didn't want to have a serious relationship? What if he just wanted to have a good time now and then and not care… I sighed softly, unaware that the elevator had slowed to a stop and the doors slid open until Adam was pulling me forward. My focus cleared, and I stumbled out after him, the doors closing behind me as I stepped off the elevator.

He pulled me around a familiar corner, and down the long hallway to the door of his condo at the end. Doors and doors sped past us in almost blurs. Blurs? Crazy… He stopped at his door, unlocking it and turning the knob, shoving it open gently. I followed him inside and he closed the door, spinning around to me and cupping my face again, pressing his cold lips to mine. I shivered, reaching up and running my fingers through his hair, pulling on it gently as he sandwiched me to the wall, his hips gently pressed into mine. His tongue danced upon mine, his spit trickling down my throat like a sweet, fruity drink, a light burn scouring the walls of my mouth.

Adam's lips warmed against my skin, and he moved them down my cheek, along the underside of my jaw and to my throat, where he bit down. I bucked into his body, shaking all over. His tongue glided over the swollen skin, his cool breath sending shivers down my spine. My right leg lifted, wrapping around his thigh as he ground his hips into me again. My mouth dropped open as a breath sucked itself into my lungs, my eyes slipping shut as I pulled on his hair. Rushes of excitement and desire coursed through my body, setting fire to lower regions and sending my heart on a frantic frenzy of urgency. There was lust in his kiss and in the way he left marks along my neck, but something in the way he held me against the wall spoke louder than the way he kissed me that he wondered if I was ready.

Was I? Was I ready to be with Adam in more than just a friendly, romantic and playful sense? There was no doubt in the reaction of my body and my heart that I wanted him, but now? Of all times, in all places? Perhaps not… '_Tommy, Tommy stop this. You've known him for less than a month or whatever… stop it… Fine, whatever, you're gay, but you're not ready to do this… stop it… Stop it!!_' I ripped my hands from his hair and curled my fingers over his shoulders, pushing him away. Adam groaned, burying his face deeper into my neck, sucking gently on my skin. I gasped, pushing harder.

"Adam, s-stop… Adam, please…" I whispered. Almost instantly, his lips disappeared from my skin, and he was cautiously looking at me, concerned.

"What?" He said, brushing my hair out of my face.

"I'm… I can't—" I stammered, unable to say 'I can't have sex with you right now'. He nodded once, understanding though.

"Okay… Okay…" He said. I dropped my leg from his thigh, swallowing hard as the last tastes of his spit seemed to burn my throat. I frowned slightly. Was I getting sick? Was that why my throat hurt so much?

"I'm sorry, Adam.." I began to say. He smiled, and kissed my forehead.

"It's alright. I shouldn't have pushed you like that." He stared at me for a long moment. The clean cut perfection of his eyes made my face flush, and I glanced at the scar on his face again.

"What happened..?" I asked, raising my hand and brushing my fingers over the mark. It was faint, almost nonexistent at all. His eyes unfocused for a brief moment, before he shrugged.

"It's nothing. Just a small scratch. It'll be gone by tomorrow, don't worry, Glitterbaby." He said with a growing smile.

"If you say so, Babyboy." I said with a smirk, kissing him again.


	16. Sour Conversations

**Sunday night, 9:38 PM**

While Adam messed around in the kitchen dinner, I took another look around the condo. It was a good size, there was an office next to the one bedroom (I was a little freaked and also giddy when I realized I'd slept in Adam's bed last night), the bathroom, the main room, dining and kitchen. I left my backpack with its few items on the chair in the bedroom, trying to figure out mentally how much money I had left so I could go shopping for more clothes. I kicked off my shoes, setting them beside the front door of the condo, shuffling towards the main room again. There was an atmosphere of left over tension, and I almost didn't notice the subtle differences until I rubbed my eyes and looked again.

The couch looked a little tousled, part of the bookshelf was missing. Beside the empty space of shelves was a trashcan filled with broken wood and glass objects that had shattered. The lonely stack of books without a home were piled beside the other shelves. I frowned, glancing around the cleaned wreckage and seeing a crack in the flooring, as if something heavy had landed hard on it. I looked up, seeing Adam's back to me as he was bent over food for the evening. Whatever had gone down, I doubted he would want to talk about it. As it was I was intrigued by his lack of skill with steak. He could handle breakfast just fine, but he seemed to be having difficulty with the bloody meat.

I crossed through the dining room, careful not to step on the crack that stretched several feet long. I didn't want to push my luck and step on it, only to fall through the floor and into whoever might've lived beneath Adam. I passed under the arch way, into the kitchen, leaning against the wall as Adam swore loudly, tossing the knife onto the counter. I smirked, chuckling softly, and he whipped around, his eyes wide for a moment, before he sighed, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he wiped the back of his hand against his forehead. I walked to the sink, washing my hands with warm water and soap, drying them on the towel before stepping up beside him.

I didn't say anything as I took the knife, grabbing the massive chunk of steak and slicing it into two pieces easily. I grabbed the steak seasoning, sprinkling it evenly on both steaks, before turning to the heated George Forman (how high class, Adam) grill, setting them easily on the scalding surface. They sizzled loudly upon contact as I closed the lid, letting them cook; I glanced across the counter's surface, seeing a can of green beans. I remembered that my dad had taught me how to make them a few years ago; it wasn't a hard process, just kind of mind numbing, really. Grabbing the can, I turned to Adam.

"Where are your—" he cut me off by taking the can from my hands, a smile on his face as his fingers caressed my skin, making me tremble lightly.

"Let me, I feel useless." He said, opening a drawer beside him, and pulling out a hand can opener. I watched him latch it onto the edge of the metal, twisting the knob. His eyes were distant as he opened the can, crossing the kitchen and kneeling down to a cupboard below the counter. He opened the door and pulled out a small pot, setting it on the stove and turning on the heat. I grabbed the can and eased the green beans into the pot, before tossing the empty can into the trash and returning to the grill. Lifting the lid, I checked the steaks briefly. They needed a few more minutes to grill. Adam walked around me, washing his hands for a few moments in the sink, before drying them and turning to me, a slight smile on his face as he crossed to where I stood. He placed his hands on my shoulders, bending his head and kissing me gently. I kissed back, my eyes sliding shut as his hands trailed up and cupped my face.

I could have stayed like that forever. Just Adam against me, his lips on mine and his hands touching me. There was something natural and right about being with Adam, even though the iciness of his skin still shocked me, the burn of his tongue on mine. It was almost as if… No, maybe it was too foolish or silly of me to say we were 'meant to be'. No one's really ever meant to be, right? Sometimes things happen by chance. Some for the better, some not so much. But in this moment, I felt like I belonged. Though I wondered if by being so comfortable and happy with Adam, kissing him as I was, that I was different. Did this make me gay? Well… Rhetorical question, but I wasn't sure if I was comfortable with considering myself gay. I'd never really thought about it in that sense.

Eventually, Adam's lips pulled away from me; he smiled, kissing my forehead gently. A long, ragged breath sucked itself into my lungs and I swayed slightly as he turned away, checking the green beans and steaks again. My head was pounding, my heart beating like the wings of birds in frantic flight. My lips were warm, my tongue burning with a sweet taste. It was like someone had coated vodka with a sugary syrup and dumped it into my mouth. Not that I was complaining about the taste or anything, but the unusual burn always left me a little strange. I swayed again, the lights seemingly growing stronger in vibrancy, the sounds and smells of everything intense for the briefest of moments before fading back to normal. It was almost as if I was on acid for a few moments in time. But maybe it was longer, I suddenly couldn't tell.

I looked up into his eyes, my head spinning and pounding as those crystal clear ocean waves rippled within the irises, and he smiled. My knees trembled and I grabbed the front of his sweater, pulling him forward and kissing him hard again. His hands wrapped around my waist, latching together at the small of my back as my fingers trailed against the cold skin of his face. There was something in the back of my head nagging me, making me want to bash my face into a wall. I kept shoving my tongue into his mouth and letting him to the same to me, when for years I had been convinced so strongly I had no attraction to men. I couldn't be sure if something had happened to me during the rehearsals for the AMA's… because suddenly I was different. I had scars I had no knowledge of getting. I lusted for a man I'd known for all of a month. A man— a fucking _man_! But as Adam's tongue grazed my bottom lip, I found myself caring less and less that the person I was kissing had a penis.

Adam's hands unlocked themselves from behind my back and gripped my hips, massaging them gently. My fingers knotted themselves into his inky black hair, and he moaned into my lips. His tongue slid between my teeth, pressing itself against my own, waging war within my mouth. I pulled on the cool, soft strands of his black mane, pulling his head back slightly. I ripped my lips away from his, pressing them against the underside of his jaw. My hair tickled my face as my teeth nipped his skin, and he shuddered, his hands tightening on my hips. I groaned, feeling the bones straining as he gripped them tighter. I pulled away from the mark, breathing hard against the coolness.

"Adam…" I whispered. He inhaled slowly, tilting his head back down.

"Yeah?" I strained a smile, despite the growing pain I was feeling, and unfortunately it wasn't connected with pleasure.

"You're crushing my hips…" He dropped his eyes to his hands, and he let go. I sighed, falling into his arms as my legs gave out. I hadn't really realized that his icy hands had been holding me up, but I wasn't complaining about collapsing into his arms, feeling the ice wrap around me and still the tremble of my burning being. He chuckled softly, stroking my hair.

"I'm sorry about that, Glitterbaby." He said softly, kissing the top of my head. I muffled an 'it's fine' into his sweater, and he laughed a little harder. He grabbed my arm and wound it over his shoulders, kneeling down and tucking his left arm under my legs, literally sweeping me off of my feet. I yelped, clinging onto him as I was suddenly weightless. My face blushed scarlet as he carried me out of the kitchen and into the main room, where he set me down on the couch. I scowled, and tried to stand back up, but he placed a cold palm on my shoulder, and I nestled back down onto the couch.

"Stay here, I'll finish dinner." He said, kissing the top of my head before retreating into the kitchen again. I smiled, curling into a slight ball, closing my eyes. My head was spinning in wide circles, my heart pounding with happiness and confusion and even a little fear. Happiness because Adam was that amazing. Confusion because I didn't know what to do. Fear because of what the band might think. What any fans might think. What would anyone think? Would they reject the idea of Adam and I being together? Were we together? My eyebrows knit themselves together and I curled tighter into myself. Did I want to—? No, that was silly, I knew damn well that I wanted to be with Adam. And by the vibes I got, the kisses he gave me, the look in his eyes… those beautiful eyes… I knew that he wanted to be with me. It was almost a given.

I couldn't be sure what I was afraid of though. Was I afraid of the crowds of fans or was it something else? Couldn't be fans. I wasn't really worried about them. My own internal demons, perhaps? Fuck… Everything was happening so quickly I could barely be certain what was up, down, left , right, and sideways anymore. From leaving home to where I was now, tasting Adam's kisses on his fucking couch, hearing him humming to himself twenty yards away from me, everything was piling on and on.

I didn't really want to think, but I found it difficult not to. Part of my issues were still revolved around Adam— why was he pale? Why was he cold? Why did he look so sick earlier today, when now nearing quarter after ten at night he seemed so much healthier. Why was he arguing with someone over the phone earlier? Why was his condo in a little bit of a shittier state than before? I knew the answers were mulling around somewhere, it felt so obvious. Thinking about Adam, with him being not far away from me, there was a grip of cold, drenching fear wrapping itself around my being, chilling me down to my fingertips and toes. I shivered, curling tighter. Why was I afraid of Adam? Was I at all? If so, what reason?

I opened my eyes, staring out the darkness of the window. Night time, possibly one of the best parts of L.A. Such beauty from city lights and high fashion. Today, Adam had looked so sick when taking me to Alex's. Maybe he just wasn't feeling well— bad food? Bad dinner last night? I glanced down at the scar on my wrist, touching the pale, cool area. I frowned. Not nearly as cold or pale as Adam's skin, but pretty close. Pale, cold, better at night time, sick during the day, extremely beautiful… No, it was utterly ridiculous. I sighed, tossing over and turning away from the windows, facing the cushions of the couch. There wasn't such a thing— it didn't exist. They didn't exist.

But… what if?

What if Adam was—

"Hey, here's food." He said as I sat up slowly, taking the plate gingerly from his hand. I smiled in a gesture of thanks, and I shifted so that my feet weren't in the way of Adam sitting down. He plopped down beside me, and I tucked my legs under me, taking a few bites of green beans. Adam had been so nice as to cut my steak into bite sized pieces. I smiled. He was so thoughtful. I popped a few chunks into my mouth, chewing slowly and savoring the taste. Not quite as good as the breakfast Alex had made for me, but still delicious. At the thought of Alex, I sighed softly. Adam turned his head and raised an eyebrow in confusion.

"What's wrong, Tommy?" I shook my head, swallowing.

"It's nothing." I replied. Adam frowned.

"C'mon, babe, something's bothering you." He said, setting his plate down on the coffee table. I sighed, setting mine down beside it. I didn't want to really bring up Drake, but all the same I was really concerned about Alex. He was being so stupid and so blind and I was afraid that Drake was going to hurt him worse than just by cheating on him. Drake wasn't exactly a peace preaching person, and if he so dared to touch Alex wrong, I had no problems pummeling his face in. But why wait long enough to give him the chance?

"I'm just… worried about my friend, Alex.." I said softly.

"About what?" I took a long, deep breath. Oh this was going to be fun to explain.

"Well… He's just… He's making stupid decisions and letting his douchebag of a boyfriend trample all over him. I'm afraid he's gonna get hurt and there's nothing I can do about it." I said simply. Adam frowned, leaning his head into his palm, his elbow resting on the back of the couch. I looked over at Adam, seeing him chewing gently on his bottom lip as he thought. I smiled slightly. He looked so cute.

"Well— what's the boyfriend done?" He asked, looking back up at me. I inhaled deeply, letting out a long, exhausted breath. This wasn't going to be a pleasant conversation.

"He's cheated and lied to Alex. He was actually in a relationship with someone else while also dating him. He promised Alex day after day that it was over with his supposed ex at the time. He's…" I took a long breath, clenching my jaw. "He's even shoved Alex around a little— and I don't mean that only as a figure of speech." Adam's eyes widened slightly, and he stared off towards the far corner of the room in thought. His face was a hard mask of stone and he looked irritated.

"What's his name?" I felt a cold lump in the back of my throat. I was afraid he would ask— what if he got mad at Alex? I didn't want anything to happen, but all the same, I couldn't lie to Adam. He didn't deserve that, especially after what happened between him and Drake. I cleared my throat, staring at the plates of partially touched food on the table. It was probably getting cold, but suddenly I wasn't really all that hungry anymore. I guess talking about my concern for Alex and my hatred for Drake, how subtle it was, made me lose all my appetite.

"Tommy?" I looked back to Adam. "What's his name?"

I bit down on my tongue, not answering for a long while.

"_Tommy._" Adam's voice was harsh, and I cringed slightly, swallowing back that lump.

"Drake." I said. Adam inhaled sharply, staring hard across the room again, his hand tightening on his knee. I glanced warily at him, afraid that he was going to lash out at any moment. But gradually his grip on his knee lessened, and he's breathing came evenly. He didn't want to get angry, that much I could tell. I wouldn't have blamed him if he did though. Adam swallowed once, opening his mouth as he thought briefly, before speaking.

"When you went to Alex's— he was there, wasn't he?"

"Not at first. But yeah, he eventually showed up." I said simply.

"What happened?" He asked. I cleared my throat again.

"He asked why I was there, and I told him I was just getting my stuff. I accidently knocked my backpack against him, and he shoved me against the table, said that I should know what real pain was, being fucked by you all the time." Adam's face fell into a look of surprise, before he chuckled. I smirked. "We argued, and I basically kicked his ass to the floor." A smile tugged at the corners of Adam's mouth as he looked over at me. I sighed, softly.

"Then Alex told me to leave. Even after everything that I had clarified about Drake… He still chose him." Adam's eyes dropped, and for a long moment the two of us were silent. He reached over, taking my hand in his.

"I'm sorry, baby." He whispered. I shrugged.

"It's fine. It's Alex's choice, and as much as I want to be the protective older brother type of person, I can't do anything about it. It's not like I can just make up his mind for him and kick Drake out, as much as I want to. I have to let him do his own thing." Adam nodded.

"That's true, and he'll learn for himself based on his choices. But for now, the best thing you can do is just be there for him in the best way you can, even if he doesn't want you there." Adam said, nodding like a wise sage. I laughed, shoving his hand away gently.

"You dork." I said, leaning forward and grabbing my plate from the table, forking a bite of steak and chewing heartily on it. Adam laughed and snatched his own plate from the table.

"You like it." I smirked, blushing scarlet.


	17. Mayan Rewards

**Late Tuesday night, 11:11 PM**

I couldn't begin to count the number of times Adam and I had cuddled together and kissed. But each and every time we did it, it was a new, refreshing experience. It was like learning something new without learning anything at all. It was rather exotic, to be honest. Cuddling with Adam was a safe sort of comfort for me. And unfortunately I wasn't able to bask in that comfort tonight. No, Adam and I were glittering, glitzing and glamming ourselves up for a night out with Monte, Lisa, and Longineu. Why? Just for the fun of it. We hadn't done anything together since the night of the AMA's, and Monte was feeling a little… cooped I guess one could say. Personally, I think he wanted a night away from the wife and kids, but that was me (and such a response treated me a smack against the back of the head from gracious Lisa).

I stood facing the mirror, applying my liner (Adam taught me how to do it properly, yay!) to my eyes. Thick lines of kohl black, even and delicate. There was a dark blue shadow on my eye lids and along the underside, faded around in even perfection with light traces of glitter. This was more of a style I saw on girls, but what the fuck ever. This was a night to be enjoyed. Adam was in the bedroom (we shared, tehee), getting dressed. I was already in my black skinny jeans, knee high silver boots with buckles strapped around them, a silver and blue belt with black music notes wrapped through the loops of my jeans. I had a dark blue skull tank top and a long sleeved fishnet over it, black and white checkered arm socks over the sleeves; my nails were painted black. My hair was coated in glitter, gelled up in the back, and temporarily streaked with blue.

I heard Adam's footsteps as he walked down the hall and into the bathroom. He smiled at me, stepping beside me and facing the mirror, grabbing his own eye liner. He was wearing black, leathery pants, his platform boots (he stood a good head and a half over me), a studded belt, a black, V-neck shirt, and a leather jacket over it, studs embedded into the leather and glitter glistening on the surface. The man had to have his glitter. His hair was spiked outward slight, smoothed down and barely cover his left eye. Lip gloss was thick on his freckled mouth (his freckles were so cute), intense, silvery shadow on his eye lids. He applied his eye liner swiftly, before reaching for the hair accessories— clip-in feathers. I smiled, snatching an accessory I had bought the day before. It was a black, silky headband with lace and rhinestones in swirly patterns. I pulled a few bobby-pins out from a small, clear box, pinning a few of Adam's spare dark blue feathers into my hair, setting the headband over it to conceal the pins. Adam glanced at me, and smirked.

"What?" I asked him, smiling as I readjusted the headband over my hair.

"You look so gay." He said, and I rolled my eyes. I turned and gently punched him in the shoulder. Even through the jacket, I could feel the chill, and it had felt as if I just punched an ice block. I shook my hand, flexing my fingers slowly. Fuck that hurt, even with the light punch. Adam took my hand in his and kissed the back of it. I smiled slightly before returning back to my escapade of hair-fixing, relishing the feel of warmth and comfort returning to my hand.

"So, where're we going tonight?" I asked.

"Mayan. I figured that'd be a good place. It's where we first met, after all." He said, smiling warmly at me through the mirror. I blushed, smoothing my bangs over my face a little more, before dropping my hands to the counter. Adam was still busy with his makeup, and I spun slowly on my heel, leaning over and kissing him on the cheek.

"I'll be in the living room, baby." I said. He turned his face toward me, kissing me hard. I moaned softly, before pulling away and giggling lightly. He pressed his lips to mine twice more, each lasting no longer than a second in time. I smiled again, turning and leaving the bathroom and walking down the hallway. I turned right, stepping into the main room of the condo, taking a heavy breath as my pocket vibrated. I jumped a little bit, pulling out my phone and glancing at the screen. It was a text from Monte.

'_Oi, where the fuck are you guys?_' I rolled my eyes, hitting Reply and typing.

'_Just finishing up, we'll be there soon._' I said, hitting Send. I shoved my phone back into my pocket, glancing across the room and out the open windows. Los Angeles was bustling below, car horns, angry drunks, music, and city sex were silent on my side of the glass. I stepped around the couch, walking over to the window. I rested my hands on the slight edge— there was a lip for plants or knick knacks that was about waist high. My back curved as I leaned on my hands, sighing softly.

I didn't know what I was going to do. On one hand I was beyond happy with Adam, but the only issue was what had been nagging me from the day I'd met him. '_Pale, cold skin… Looked so sick in daylight… And that scar… the one I'd seen on his face on Sunday— it's gone now. As if it was never there to begin with._' I dropped my head, staring at my hands as they curled into fists on the window ledge. It wasn't possible, was it? Such myths belonged in fairy tales and superstitions like Dracula and fucking Twilight. Adam was a normal human being— he just ran a little colder than usual, right? But what if… What if he was?

'_That's ridiculous. Adam isn't… myths like that don't exist; Adam is normal!_'

'_But what if he's not. What if he really is a—_'

'_Don't even say it, cause it's ridiculous!_'

'_But _what if he is! _Wouldn't that just blow your fucking mind?!_'

I shook my head side to side, glancing back up and staring down at the long, narrow streets, jam packed with cars and people. I dropped my gaze down to my hands, eyeing the scar on my wrist again. Cold to the touch, paler than the rest of me. It was almost like a light grey. I frowned, trailing my fingers over the thin line, before shifting and sitting on the ledge, my left foot propped up, the right hanging off to the floor. I leaned against the wall, staring out the window, my fingers still resting on the scar. It was just longer than the length of Adam's mouth, perfectly knit. I couldn't remember ever scraping myself on anything. Sure, I had small, pinprick cuts from the table I knocked into and the glass that shattered, but nothing around my hands or wrists.

Not to mention, the following morning I didn't have the hangover from hell like normal. Why had that been? It was almost as if I'd never gotten drunk in the first place. I was more exhausted and weak than anything. Sighing, I stared back down at the scar. What if Adam really was… Did that mean that he… And if he did— what was it like? '_You're seriously wondering what kind of an experience it might have been, if it happened at all? Maybe you just puked it all out, that's what you had been doing on the drive home. Fuck… The drive… What had that been all about?_' I paused, exhaling sharply. God this was all so confusing!

I turned my head as Adam rounded the corner from the hallway. In the darkened condo, he stood out like a column of light. I smiled slight, sliding off of the ledge of the window, shoving my hands in my pockets as I walked around the couch towards him. He smirked in the darkness, bending his head down and kissing me gently, his fingers reaching up and stroking my cheek. His tongue trailed along my bottom lip before slipping between my teeth for a few, brief moments of time. I shivered against him, heat rushing through my body as I pulled him closer to me. The need of air was growing strong, and I had to pry myself away. I pressed my forehead against his chest, breathing hard as he ran his fingers through the back of my hair gently, kissing the top of my head.

"C'mon, Glitterbaby, let's get out of here." He said softly, and I nodded once. My fingers laced with his, my palm fitting delicately, and he guided me towards the door of the condo. Our boots left heavy thumps on the wood floor; he pulled the door open and I followed him, closing it behind me. We walked together, side by side, hand in hand, down the hallway and around the corner. I tapped the elevator button, and the doors dinged open. He pulled me inside, pressing the garage floor button as I snuggled up beside him, my head resting on his shoulder, my hand still clasped with his. Even though my hand was going numb, I willed myself to keep my hand there. He fit so perfectly with mine, it was almost unbelievable.

I had spaced, for I remembered stepping onto the elevator and Adam pulling me out into the warm garage, in the direction of his Porsche. I smiled, stumbling up beside him before prying my hand away and walking around to the passenger side of the car. He unlocked it and I opened the door, sliding inside and shutting it again as he slid into the driver's seat. He started the car and I took his right hand in my left, staring out the window as we pulled out of the garage and onto the streets. The nice thing about Los Angeles was that almost everyone had a Porsche or a Ferrari. Adam's car wouldn't stand out like a splash of black in a sea of neon. It would blend beautifully, and we wouldn't have to deal with anyone screaming and attacking the outer shell.

Street after street, car after car, high-rise after library after court hall after I couldn't even tell anymore; lights were glaring into the car and people were shouting in excitement and joy. This was only Tuesday. Fucking hell. Adam easily maneuvered the car through the crowds, before twisting the wheel and pulling into the side lot of the Mayan. I could see lights flashing through the front doors, the music pounding from the street. I smiled, glancing over at Adam. He smirked, leaning towards me and pecking me on the lips. "C'mon," he started, kissing me once more. "Everyone's waiting."

I nodded, opening my door and stepping out, thankful that the side lot was relatively dark in comparison to the rest of the street. We could slip into the back door and not have to deal with the raging crowds of fans who might want to maul us. Adam took my hand after he walked around the car, leading me towards the shadowed back door. The handle was cool to the touch, and the door itself swung easily. Adam and I slipped inside the pounding walls of bass and sex. I shivered, wincing as the music throbbed in my ears, but I eventually grew used to it. Lights flashed across a sea of shifting black shadows, and I smiled again. I missed this; coming out into clubs and dancing away the worries— hakuna matata, right? Oh fuck, not Disney.

Adam kept me close to him as we fought through the swarming, shifting mass. I didn't have the slightest clue as to where Monte, Longineu or Lisa might be, but I hoped that we would find them relatively soon. A mix of Kanye's Heartless was swimming around my senses and I could see shadows grinding against one another and also pushing and shoving against one another. It was an intense ocean of emotions and desires and all kinds of things. Part of me wanted to drag Adam into it and join the dancing of utter fucking pleasure. Part of me wanted to take Adam to a quiet place and have him to myself. But I ventured from both, fighting beside Adam through the mob, towards the bar. I wasn't up for a drink; lately the idea of alcohol bothered me. I grimaced as we stepped up beside the bar, but I forgot it as Adam placed his free hand on Monte's shoulder.

The guitarist jumped, swearing loudly and spinning on his heel, glaring Adam in the eye. I busted out laughing as Monte swiveled his hateful gaze on me. His expression softened, and he looked me over in the dark light, before smiling and shaking his head. Longineu was chuckling behind a beer and Lisa was grinning behind what looked like a martini. Adam tapped my shoulder and pointed to the bar. _Do you want a drink?_ His eyes asked me. I shook my head, unable to shout over the volume of the music. It seemed so much louder tonight than it had ever been before. '_Meh, whatever. Could just be a new DJ or something._' I thought to myself as Adam got himself a drink. I didn't think him much to be one to get smashed, but he downed a clear liquid before I could even realize what he was holding. He slid the glass back onto the counter, paid, and pulled me into the throbbing crowd of people.

The song had changed, but to what I wasn't sure. It was unfamiliar to me as Adam gently placed his palms on my hips, pulling me close to him. In the flashing darkness I could see him smirking, and I smiled back, clasping my hands behind his neck, my arms curving over his shoulders. '_You are so gay, Tommy._' I thought to myself, before shaking my head slightly. I didn't care anymore. Adam leaned his forehead against mine, swaying with me to the beat of the music. His hips ground into mine and I shivered beneath him, gluing myself closer to him as he thrust forward into me, tilting his head down and biting down onto my neck. My jaw dropped and I moaned aloud, though not even the people brushing around us could hear me.

My heart pounded in my chest like a fierce wail of drums, my pulse beating against Adam's lips. He moaned against my skin, sucking hard. A rush swam through my head, and I felt dizzy. Dizziness shouldn't come with hickey-giving, should it? His tongue glided over the swollen, bruising skin as he continued to suck, and jolts of pleasured pain battered their way down my spine, through my hips, surging into my arms and legs. I was trembling, the world spinning around me. I closed my eyes, my head going through a whirlwind of intense emotions and physical reactions. Tremors danced their way around my groin and I felt intense, heated pressure. Such pressure; I thrust into Adam's hips and he moaned hard into my neck. My hands were shaking as I unlatched them and pushed them up into his inky hair. Adam's hands clenched my hips before sliding along my ribs and winding around my being. I wanted to pin him onto the floor and just fuck him, right there, in the middle of the fucking club. But even in my sex driven craze, I knew that would be wrong. Adam pulled his lips away, kissing the mark and licking it lightly. I jerked along his body, and he leaned close to my ear.

"I'll be right back, Glitterbaby." He said softly; I almost couldn't hear him. I dropped my arms from around his neck and I looked up at him as he kissed my cheek. His eyes looked glazed with lust and excitement, his lips darker. I frowned, but he disappeared before I could ask. I swayed, stumbling backward into someone. They didn't shove me or punch me; they swallowed me into a swirling sea of dancing. Bodies pressed under me, over me, to my left and right. All around, people were touching my hair, touching my clothes, my hands, my face, my hips, my legs. Mouths latched upon mine, on my neck, throat, shoulders. Someone even bit my ear. My fucking ear! But it didn't matter— I was high off the dance and the smell of thick marijuana leaking in from the streets.

I don't know how long I danced in the crowd, or how long Adam had been away. Colors were flashing, my head was spinning, and all I really was aware of was the pressure fading away from the front of my jeans. I felt sad to feel it go, but I knew that right now wasn't the time or place to relieve myself of that issue. On a couple of occasions I danced with Lisa; how she'd found me in the masses I wasn't sure, but she'd disappear as easily as I found her again. Music was throbbing in the floors, sending tremors up my body and into my soul, rattling me like a set of bones in a bag. Wasn't that what I was though? Bones in a fleshy, bloody bag? Well, pretty damned close.

I swiveled my hips into another woman's, and she giggled in the darkness, pressing herself close to me, but she was carried away by a tidal wave of other girls and a few guys. I was tossed between dance partners as if they were lettuce and I was the one tomato in a bowl of salad. Somehow I was swarmed by men, most of which grabbed my hair, my ass, and even my crotch. But I was too far gone into an oblivion of sex and freedom to care. I opened my eyes, looking up as a man dressed in drag and amazing heels stroked my shoulders. On the opposite side of the club, the lights flashed onto a long flight of stairs leading up to a loft. By a stroke of luck, my head cleared enough that I recognized one of two men climbing those stairs. I felt my heart stop, and the world melted away from around me.

Adam was climbing those stairs with the hand of a multi-hair colored, tanned boy in leather and glitter grasped in his. There was urgency as he pulled the boy after him, and for the first time in the month or so that I had known Adam— I wanted to grab him by his silky hair and kick his fucking face in.


	18. Satanic Desire

**Late Tuesday night, 12:06 AM**

He should have known better than to believe he could get by for a few days off of what little blood from Joshua he'd drunk. The sunlight of Sunday (oh, how ironic) had left him weaker than ever before since his change, and what Joshua had given had been enough to last him a day. But here he was, dancing so close to Tommy he could hear the beat of his beautiful boy's heart everywhere. Louder than the music and more real than the sweaty people around them. He swallowed hard, hoping the shot of vodka he'd taken would keep his senses diluted enough that he wouldn't have to. But Tommy was so close to him, his arms around his neck, he hips practically glued to Adam's. The glam star was finding it very hard to block out the feel of Tommy beside him.

'_Give in to a little pleasure, a little joy for now…_' A sultry, cool voice whispered into the back of his head. Trembles ran down his spine. The inner workings of a monster; he knew that voice of vampire nature well.'_You did it once before, just a few days ago before you wasted that by going out into the light._' He moaned softly, his desires growing stronger as Tommy pulled himself closer. The beautiful, beautiful boy knew; Adam was so sure that he did! But he always saw denial. Tommy didn't want to believe it. The voice cooed in the back of his head again, the image of himself grinning with exposed fangs and blood red eyes.'_Here, you're safe in the sticky darkness, where no one can hear him scream—_'

_No!_ He closed his eyes, resting his head upon Tommy's, feeling the wisps of silky blond and black hair under his forehead. The boy was so warm, so warm. What harm was there in a little drink? Something just to satisfy his lust and let him enjoy his night with his beloved. '_Yes, what harm is there, Adam? That's right— no harm. Dig into pleasure, Adam. It's alright…_' The voice teased, curling around his hunger and intensifying it. Moaning, Adam pressed his lips to Tommy's forehead, trailing them across both of his cheeks, his lips, before reaching his jaw. Tommy shivered beneath him, his hands looping up into Adam's hair, pulling on it. Adam's lips opened and he breathed against Tommy's neck, brushing his lips on his favorite spot. His mind was telling him to go in, but his humanity was telling him to pull back. This wasn't right, this wasn't right! But as his bottom lip began to draw back, Adam felt it.

Tommy's pulse rapidly beating through his flesh and along Adam's lip, quivering with excitement. Blood lust and sexual drive said to him, 'fuck humanity', and his teeth shot fully from his gums, slicing into Tommy's neck— right above where that delectable pulse had thrummed. Tommy moaned, jerking up into Adam's being, but he did not scream. Blood poured like the crimson Niagara Falls into Adam's mouth, heating it and making him go crazy, his eyes widening. His hands traveled all over Tommy's being as the boy's creamy fingers wound deeper into Adam's hair. Tommy's heart pulsed into his lips again, and he moaned loudly. His tongue slid over the opening in his neck, the taste like an explosion of vanilla ice cream and wild raspberries. His body tingled with fire, his senses alight with desire. His eyes rolled into the back of his head as he drank.

'_Yes… See, told you you'd enjoy it… That's it, Adam, drink. Indulge for a while; there's no harm. He's not fighting back, he loves it as much as you do. He would be fighting if he didn't want to…_' To what? Adam opened his mouth wider, stretching the openings the fangs made. Tommy shivered, grinding his hips against Adam's. Both men shuddered in ecstasy as Adam swallowed another mouthful. '_Take him down, Adam— down to the floor. Ravage him, you know you want to. See what his blood's doing to you? It's making you hot. Release that heat upon him… in him… whichever you prefer. He's not fighting; he wants to—_' to what?! The beast in Adam wasn't making any sense and that sort of frightened the rock star. To what?! What was his own inner demon saying Tommy wanted to do? To be fucked? Well, everyone wants that.

'_He's not fighting, he wants to—_' to. What?! He wants to—

Change.

_Die._

_NO!_

Adam pulled his lips away, forcing his teeth back into place. He knew his lips were stained a dark red, but if he could get away fast enough it wouldn't matter. He kissed the bite mark, still bleeding, on Tommy's neck, trailing his tongue over the wounds. All that would remain would be a thin, silvery crescent of flesh, colder and paler than the rest of him. That was the beauty of venom, it could seal wounds. It was how he'd managed to drain the alcohol from Tommy's system on Sunday, leaving only that scar on his wrist. Adam leaned into Tommy's ear, whispering a word of quick departure. He wouldn't be long, but he needed to get away. Tommy looked up at him through the darkness, seeing the stains. Shit. Adam kissed his cheek and fled, his mind going crazy.

'_Why did you stop?! What are you thinking?!_'

"Shut up." He growled at himself, spinning through the crowd as fast as possible, licking his lips to rid any traces of blood. He turned his head, back in the general direction he'd left Tommy. The two-toned bassist was surrounded by a group of people already. Seas of blonde and black haired women, multi-colored men, followed by a pale figure with a mane of vibrant red— he blinked, afraid. The flash of fire was gone, as if it was never there. He'd almost forgotten that Joshua worked here. But what if he'd resigned? No, he wouldn't. Joshua loved the night life too much to leave the Mayan. And maybe it was only a hallucination, but the flash of red caused Adam to worry as he pulled himself farther away. He prayed— literally prayed— that Tommy would be out of harm while he was gone.

His blood red eyes scanned the crowd, searching for something easy and quick. Something to satisfy him so he could return to his beloved without the need to eat him. So many options, but he had to be selective. He couldn't choose a popular kid. That would cause problems he didn't need. No, he needed a loner, someone who would be missed by few and probably not broadcasted on television. Not that club deaths were anyway. He sighed, longing to just forget about this and go back to Tommy. He shouldn't have listened to his animalist desires. It always got him into trouble. He dropped his head, hiding in the shadows.

He lifted his eyes again as a dark skinned boy with rainbow painted dread-locks, probably of his twenties, spun, their eyes meeting. Adam smiled a dark, seductive kind of smile and the boy froze, enraptured. The crowds of people seemed to split down the middle like the seas of Bible stories, and Adam crossed in swift, easy strides to the boy. He was motionless, staring wide eyed as Adam reached forward, tucking an icy finger under the tanned chin. He shivered, blinking once, his mouth dropping open. Adam's smile grew wider, his eyes swirling dark under the lights. He leaned forward, his lips close to the boy's ear. "Come with me," he said softly, his voice low and suggestive. The boy reached up, grabbing tightly onto Adam's hand as his icy fingers curled with the boy's warm ones. He guided the rainbow child towards the stairs of a loft above. They slipped through darkness as easily as a cool drink of water through burning lips of the thirsty.

Step by step, Adam lead the boy upstairs, lights flashing and music pounding. There were no words, only silence with music. Adam felt a twinge on the back of his neck, as if he was being watched. Of course he was being watched. The lights were in their direction and the building was an angry sea of sweat and sex with eyes. He pulled the boy up the stairs faster, the angry demon of hunger beginning to make his hands tremble. Tommy's blood left him erected and starved; not a pleasant experience for him. So many stairs, seemingly endless. But they made it eventually. They made it and Adam was more than anxious to let his hunger devour such exhilarated blood. He turned, facing the boy, pulling him by both hands towards the back area of the loft. There were only half walls— metal guardrails to keep from falling. The sleek floors were littered with soft, faux fur carpets of tiger. Leather couches decorated with silk pillows of golds, teals, blues and greens.

Adam's hands went straight into those dreads, pulling gently as his lips pressed to the boy's. The tanned throat let out a moan, vibrating along Adam's tongue, making the glam star shiver in excitement. For Adam, there were three steps into his process of feeding. The first step in seducing someone for the kill: keep conversation to a minimum. Adam slipped his tongue between the boy's teeth, tasting his mouth. Sugary sweet, though nothing like Tommy. He kept a groan of longing from spilling from his throat. He pulled his lips away, stroking the boy's cheek.

"What's your name?" He breathed into the boy's ear, smiling as he shivered.

"D-Damion…" He whispered back. Adam smiled.

"I'm Adam." He said. No other words were needed. Damion pulled Adam close again, their lips locking tightly together. Sticky saliva passed between their mouths and Damion moaned when Adam's tongue flicked against the roof of his mouth. Adam smiled into Damion's lips, running his fingers back into the dread locks, pulling hard on them. Damion shuddered, his lips breaking away from the seal of Adam's. Adam tilted his head down, nipping along the younger boy's neck and exposed collar bones. Second rule: make the victim feel amazing, mentally, emotionally, and most definitely physically. Damion's hands traveled from Adam's hips to his back, up into his hair and all over, uncertain where to stay. Adam chuckled, dropping one of his hands toward the waistband of the boy's pants, before dropping farther. Damion shivered and Adam guided him down to the floor. The faux fur provided enough cushion, not to mention an exotic feel. The glam star cupped the boy's face, the fingers of his free hand trailing along the inseam of the boy's pants.

"Aah…" Adam smiled, kissing the browned lips again, thankful that he had licked away the taste of blood from his. That would have surely caused some issues had he not. Damion's hands reached up, gripping Adam's jacket and shoving it off of his shoulders. Adam tossed his coat to the side, kissing Damion hard as his fingers gripped and squeezed the boy's growing problem. Damion's back arched and he moaned into Adam's mouth. Adam tenderly touched the curve, applying pressure at random points as he drew circles into the fabric. Damion's back arched more, his chest pressing against Adam's. The vampire smiled, straddling the boy's legs as he continued to stroke the bulge.

"You're so cute…" He said just over the music, a smile stretching across his pale lips. Damion smiled brightly, reaching up and trailing his fingers along Adam's cheek. Adam bent back down, pressing his lips to the boy's throat, feeling the rampant pulse of youth. He moaned aloud, squeezing the curve tighter. Damion's hands shot up into Adam's hair, pulling on it. The glam star's lips were ripped from the boy's throat, and he growled, tugging out of the tanned boy's grasp and crashing his lips against Damion's throat again.

"Mm, please…" Damion whispered, his throat vibrating into Adam's lips. Adam placed both hands at the button and zipper of Damion's pants, pulling in one swift motion, ruining the jeans. Damion gasped and grew even louder as Adam stroked him through the thin boxers. Adam smirked into his skin, pressing his fingers deeper into Damion's erection through silky fabric. Damion grabbed Adam's hair, pulling on it again. This time, Adam didn't fight back. He nipped the boy's throat with his teeth, curling his fingers around the boy's boxer-covered "disco stick". He chuckled at the thought, kissing the small bruise on the boy's throat.

"Beg me." Adam whispered hoarsely. He wasn't one for kinky or anything, but he was crazed with blood and sexual deprivation. At the moment, he was running off of anything that came to mind. Damion's eyes widened as Adam lifted his head and grinned down at him, his teeth gleaming in the neon lights.

"Adam…" Damion didn't beg, he dragged out the glam star's name. Too impatient to want more, Adam kissed the boy hard, before planting his lips on his favorite spot— just above the artery. His hand began a rhythmic motion as Adam's fangs slid from the gums, but he kept them tucked behind his lips. Not yet, not yet. Damion's back arched violently, his body trembling beneath Adam's. The faux furs felt nice, cool and smooth. Adam's fingers lightly slid across the tip of Damion's throbbing being; the boy jerked again. "Adam! Please…" Adam smiled, his fangs pressing against his lips. And rule number three: make the kill quick, never dawdle.

He opened his mouth, his regular teeth digging into the tanned flesh. Centimeter by excruciating centimeter (for Damion), his fangs sliced in as well, ripping open weak flesh and leaking out velvety blood. Damion cried out softly, tightening his hold on Adam's hair, his hips bucking up into Adam's hold. As much as he relished the taste of blood, of getting his fill for the week, he hated it. He hated himself for it. '_I should be downstairs with Tommy, enjoying the night. I'm up here with some… child… draining his life away…_' He wished he could pry himself away and flee, leave Damion here and just go. He wished he could go downstairs, find Tommy and take him home. Home to make sweet, passionate love and confess everything. But Adam realized, with every flick of his tongue and every stroke of his hand that he wasn't strong enough to fight his nature… No, this wasn't his nature. This was his sickness. This was a disease given to him by a cruel twist of fate.

Sickness, indeed.

Adam closed his eyes, unable to look at any part of this boy anymore. Damion had his entire life ahead of him, and he was dying all the same. So many opportunities, so many memories to be made… '_And I'm taking all of that away from him. I'm destroying his life because of this fucking illness. This never-ending disease, this incurable madness._' Adam swallowed hard, finding the blood turning sour to his taste. No, it wasn't naturally sour, he knew that. His mind was telling him that it was so he would stop drinking. But he couldn't. He needed blood, he needed to feed to save Tommy. '_Save him? Save him from what? Yourself? Ha— you're foolish. You can never save him. It may not be today, it may not be a year from now, it may not even be ten. But there will come a time where you wait too long and you simply cannot resist it. You will devour his soul as you have done the hundreds of others in your short life. It's inevitable, Adam. One day, you will kill him._'

He clenched his jaw, biting his fangs together and ripping part of Damion's skin open further. The boy howled and Adam slammed his free palm over his mouth, silencing him as best as he could. He panted, staring wide eyed as Adam sat up, blood staining his lips. His crimson colored eyes widened too as he stared back at Damion. The boy knew. The boy knew it and there was nothing he could do. He had to kill him now. He had to take away his life. For the sanctity of his identity. For all vampires. Blood brothers and sisters of sin. He couldn't expose them.

Damion's hand dropped from Adam's hair and pulled at the glam star's wrist. Adam didn't fight. He felt weak, hopeless. Damion's breath was coming in short gasps as he sat up, staring warily at Adam. The glam star couldn't meet his gaze. He was breaking his own rules at this point. He was dawdling, for starters. He'd had more conversation that he should have. The only rule he didn't break was making the boy feel good. But how long had that lasted, really?

"You're a vampire." It wasn't a question. It was a statement. A matter-of-fact. Adam looked up at the boy, his face ashamed. He had to kill him, and kill him quick. '_Spending time with Tommy has made you soft. A month ago, when that whore found out what you were, you devoured her without a second of hesitation. Here you are, letting this boy gawk at you. You're losing your touch, Lambert. Lynn would be so disappointed in you._' He cringed, thinking of the vampiric woman who was so much like a mother to him. A mother of the night. She would be very disappointed in him.

"Change me." Damion said, leaning close to Adam. The glam star blinked once, confused. He'd never been asked that before. Perhaps due to the fact that he never let anyone live this long before.

"No." He said firmly. Damion's eyes narrowed, and he pulled Adam closer.

"Change. Me. Please?" His eyes were determined. But Adam was persistent. He would never change anyone.

"Please?! I want to be like you…" Adam looked up into the boy's eyes, seeing the wild craze. Shit. Now he really needed to kill the boy. The craze— the boy had become rather infatuated with Adam. He would never give up as long as he was alive.

Adam cupped the boy's face in his hands, kissing him hard on the mouth. Damion sat back, letting Adam ease him into a lying position on the fur. His tongue, slicked with blood, trailed along the roof of Damion's mouth again, before he pulled his mouth away, returning to the bleeding wound. His tongue slid over the excess blood, latching onto the opening. He drank quickly, barely tasting the blood as he sucked the boy dry. Damion's moans were soft, laced with twinges of pain. He knew what this was like for them. It felt utterly amazing, being drunk off of, but all the same, the pain was intense. There was no stopping the light flow of venom that trickled off the fangs and into the blood stream. But with any experienced feeder, such as Adam (most of the time), one learned to drink every bit of blood, along with the venom that managed to slip in. One learned to leave nothing within the body.

Damion's thrusts and moans were gradually becoming weak, tired. Eventually, he stopped moving all together. Adam choked, sucking out the last fringes of life from the tanned body. His head lolled to the side, his eyes dead and vacant. There was no pulse, no hope of breath. Adam licked his lips, his body heavy. He'd never meant to get so… no, he wasn't attached. He wasn't attached. But why was there a feeling of loss on his mind and in the depth of his being. Rolling back onto his knees, Adam reached down and closed the tanned boy's eyes. '_Let him sleep now…_' He thought to himself, looking up to the top of the stairs.

If he had a beating heart, it would have stopped. But he still felt the chill of anxiety and fear creeping down his spine. He still felt the sudden drop of cold. No… He wasn't meant to know. Not now, anyway. Oh, God, how long had he been standing there?! Adam's eyes widened as chocolaty orbs gazed with shock, fear, realization and pain. No, no, no!! His hand lifted, extending out to the two-toned bassist.

"No, Tommy—" he began to say. But the bassist spun on his heel, and raced down the stairs.


	19. My Pandemonium

**Late Tuesday night, 12:11 AM**

My heart was thrashing in my chest; from anger, from sadness, and from confusion. What was Adam doing? Why was he taking that guy upstairs? Why was the room so thick all of a sudden? I dropped my eyes, hoping that my head wasn't as clear as I took it for, and I looked again. They were at the top of the stairs, disappearing onto the loft. It was for sure Adam. And that was, for sure, another person. Another man. It was ridiculous, we weren't even officially dating and here I was, feeling my heart caving in on itself as I watched with numb idiocy. '_Move, Tommy. Go after him, figure out what the fuck he's doing! Go!_'

I took a single step forward, feeling people grabbing onto me, trying to pull me back into the sea of dancing and sex. I tugged out of their grasp, trying to fight through the crowd. But I had floated to the far left side of the club, and Adam had disappeared at the high right side. The movement of the black ocean seemed a lot more intense. As if everyone knew I was trying to reach Adam, and it was their objective to keep me as far away from him as possible. I swerved around several people, covering nothing but twenty feet of ground before getting knocked back again. I growled, wiping sweat off of my forehead with the fabric of my arm sock. Fuck it was hot in here.

I tried moving forward again, my mind reeling. Why did Adam need to leave? I thought back to that brief moment, when he kissed me. His lips were stained a dark color. Wasn't his gloss more a peachy color? I frowned, taking three steps forward only to get knocked back another four. Fuck I wasn't getting anywhere, physically or mentally. Stained… How had they become stained, and with what? I growled, shoving by and slipping through the shadows so that no one could drag me back if given the chance. The floor was pounding with a mix of Lady GaGa's Poker Face. It was intense. Surprisingly, it seemed to fit the situation I was in. '_Shut the fuck up, Tommy. Find Adam._' I told myself, pushing through the crowd again.

The funny thing was I found myself not really caring what he was doing. I just wanted answers. Why did he feel the need to run off with someone else when he _knew_ I liked him. I wouldn't consistently make out with him if I didn't like him, right? Which rose another question in my mind. Did he honestly like me back or was he toying with me? Was he playing with me for the sake of having a laugh? I really hoped not. Because if this was all a game to him when I was beginning to believe I had something real with him… well, to put it simply I had a few friends who would willingly put his ass through a wall.

Bypassing the questions of his motives, why were his lips stained? There shouldn't have been anything in his drink— it was clear as daylight from what I had seen of it. There wasn't any strange substance on my body that I was aware of to have stained his lips. And I highly doubted that the drink and his gloss had a bad reaction and turned dark. So why were his lips dark? I blinked, growing frustrated at my lack of progress as I continued to battle my way through the crowd further. The angry, black mob seemed to have thickened in the half hour or so that we'd been here. Not that it surprised me, as the night grew later the crowds would thicken like blood.

Blood.

Was that what was on his lips?

'_No, get that image out of your head. Adam… Adam's not a fucking vampire. Just stop it already!_'

'_At least you're finally acknowledging a possibility. Are you afraid, Tommy? Are you afraid that Adam is a vampire? Because it's not all bad. How bitchin' would that be, having a vampire for a boyfriend._'

'_No, he's not a vampire. That's fucking ridiculous! Stop it!_'

'_Admit it, you want him to be a vampire. Because if he is, that means he just drank from you— why else would you be dizzy from him biting you like that. His lips were stained a dark color, for fuck's sake! What else could that be other than blood? And the pale scar on your wrist? Bet you more than anything now you've got one on your neck for the world to fucking see._'

I shook my head, resisting the urge to reach up and touch my neck, to see for certain if I actually had a bite mark that was cool instead of blisteringly hot, like most hickeys should be. No, I wouldn't preoccupy myself with that moment yet. I needed to find Adam and figure out what the hell was going on and just who the hell he was.

'_Or rather, _what_ the hell he is._' I didn't bother to reply to myself. It was beyond irritating and pointless at this point, and I didn't want to deal with it. I shoved and pushed like hell, trying to seem more like I was drunk and trying to find a bathroom than a sobered little shit trying to find my fucking boyfriend. '_But is he really?_' Fuck if I knew for certain. God damn this was all so confusing. I just wanted straight answers, but unfortunately, Adam wasn't straight enough to give them to me. I smirked at my own little lame joke, and pushed passed a dark haired woman, who cried out in protest and turned towards me. I didn't look at her, but she grabbed my wrist, and I spun, pulling out of her grasp, ready to smack a bitch if I—

"Tommy!" The woman's eyes went wild and the light passed over her face. I knew that face instantly, and I realized I hadn't seen her in over a month. Pain swept through me, along with a dreaded feeling of absence. I hadn't seen her in forever and I didn't think of her enough to understand how much I missed her. My face lit up in the light and I smiled wide, embracing her tightly.

"Suzan!" I said in her ear, just over the music. For a moment, I forgot what I was looking for. I was just happy to see an old, sane, and, for certain, _human_ friend.

'_You're really starting to accept him as something other worldly, aren't you?_'

No comment.

"How've you been, we haven't heard from you in a while!" She chatted excitedly. Somehow I could hear her over the music, which was a feat in and of itself since the bass was rattling my bones. I sighed, smiling at her.

"I've been all over the map." I said simply, rubbing the back of my neck.

"Yeah, I saw you on the AMA's with Lambert. Gotta say, that kiss was fucking hot, Tommy. But I didn't think you to be that type of person, honestly. Gay, I mean." She explained. I shrugged, my smile widening. At the mention of Adam's last name, I glanced back at the loft. I needed to get across the club and get to him. I needed answers. I needed truth.

"We were wondering why we never heard from you again, but Vince got whiff from a few friends who knew people who knew that you got in with Lambert. I'm so happy for you." She continued talking, hugging me again. What she'd just said really kind of confused be, but I wrapped my arms around her waist, burying my face in the crook of her neck, my nose brushing against her hair, uncaring of my confusion. She was warm. So different from Adam, who was cold but strangely comforting. I pulled away as she continued to talk further.

"So what have you been up to, aside from the fame and everything like that?" Her eyes were bright with the need to know and I laughed a little. She was so bubbly. She reminded me of that one chick who'd been on Idol with Adam… Oh, God, what was her name… Ally, Amy, All— Allison! '_Ugh, she has _her _name._' I bitterly thought, but brushed it aside as if it was nothing.

"Uhh, just a lot of nothing really. I mean, part of it was rehearsals for the AMA's. We're still all trying to get used to everything. We've got some talk shows and Late Nights coming up, but I'm not sure for certain exactly what yet…" I said over the music, glancing back at the loft. I wondered— no, I _hoped_— that Adam was still up there with whoever the fuck he decided to take with him. Suzan frowned at my edginess and the fact that I kept looking up at that damned loft.

"You okay?" She asked, her concern on her face. I wanted to say that I was fine. But that would be a lie. But I couldn't exactly say, 'Yeah, I'm just worried that the guy I like is a vampire and I'm afraid he's off fucking around with someone else. Other than that, I'm just peachy.'

But that would cause unnecessary issues.

"Yeah— I just need to find someone. You don't mind if I run off, do you? I'll be sure to text your or something…" I still had her number, right? Fuck, I couldn't even remember. Suzan looked a little hurt that I was leaving, but she (hopefully) seemed understanding.

"Yeah, it's cool. I'll tell Vince and Gianna you said hi." She said. I gave her another quick hug of thanks, and I shot off towards the right side of the club again. I was glad to see her again,. But I had other things on my mind and I didn't want to get wrapped up. I adored Suzan from the few days that I'd been around her and her band of friends, but I had a different life away from the city fame. I had national fame. Probably closer to international. And if not, I— along with Adam, Monte, Lisa and Longineu— would, very soon.

Adam… God damnit. God _fucking_ damnit.

I made my way through the crowd again, pushing and shoving as gently as I could left and right, making gaps and spaces enough to slip through. I found that if I couldn't even make people budge, it wasn't worth my time. I'd find another route. Sometimes it'd be easier, sometimes it's be a little more difficult. But I managed. I managed everything he could in terms of getting to Adam. '_You're just a little obsessed, aren't you?_' But I shook the thought quickly from my mind, trying my damndest not to think as I fought through the crowd further.

Why was this so complicated? It wouldn't be like this if I had never joined Adam's fucking band in the first place. I wouldn't have all of this drama, this turmoil. Also, I doubted I would have lost Alex as my best friend; I might have had a good start with Suzan, Vince and Gianna… Why did Adam have to pull me, of all people in the fucking proximity of Los Angeles, into a completely different whirlwind of fame and fortune? Not that I had much money, I was still kind of scrounging off of what my dad gave to me a month ago. I'd hoped that would change relatively soon, but since the album only came out a few days ago, sales were still piling in. We wouldn't get anything for at least another week or two.

But economics aside, Adam had completely changed the course of my life. He made me question my sanity, my beliefs, my take on reality, and my sexuality. Of all things, my _fucking sexuality!_ If there was one thing I'd ever been sure of, it was that I was straight. And here I was chasing across a club for a man I'd known for a month. One month and I wanted something with him. And fortunately, it wasn't beef (and with the size difference between us, I really didn't want beef with Adam. That called for grounds of unpleasant pain for years to come, I was certain of that.)

I wanted to do a dance of joy when I'd made it three-quarters of the way. I was so ecstatic I could have kissed the man who danced beside me, thrusting his hips into my side. But I didn't. I was bent on making it the rest of the way without distraction or further delay. I needed to get to Adam. Something was pulling me. As if there was an invisible force tugging on the fringes of my soul, drawing me closer to the stairs. Closer, closer, closer still and God! It was maddening how fast I seemed to be going when the world was slow around me. My heart was racing as the tidal waves of dancers pushed and pulled against me, before chewing me up and spitting me out in front of the stairs, leading up the loft. I made it? Fuck, I made it!

I planted a heavy foot on the first step, fear dawning on me. What if, for just a moment, he wasn't a vampire. What if he was human, for certain… Would he be fooling around with someone upstairs, afraid to unleash his sexual frustrations with me? I was more than willing to… Okay, maybe not _more _ than completely willing, but I was pretty damned willing. But maybe that was why he left. Maybe he was just afraid that I wasn't ready yet and got hot and bothered while we were dancing. We were close, after all, the whole time. I wouldn't have blamed him—

I planted another foot up. No. He could have gone into the bathroom or just told me that he was too turned on to stay with me. He should have known that I would understand. He knew I was comfortable around him. Hell, during rehearsal I had told him he could grab me and stuff, I didn't care. My face flushed. Oh, God. I'd almost forgotten that I told him that. Shit, shit, shit!

Another step up. Humanity aside, what if he was a vampire? Was that more the reason why I needed to see him? Was I in need of clarification to put my own restless mind at rest? Could he really be something of a myth and drink the blood of others. I took another step up, reaching my hand up and pressing it to the side of my neck. My skin was burning with the atmosphere, but one spot, one bite sized spot was so cold… My heart thrashed in my chest. It could have been an air current on my neck, chilling the sweat on my skin. Yeah, it was an air current.

Another step. What if it wasn't an air current? That's ridiculous, it had to have been.

Another. But what if _it wasn't _an air current? Could Adam really be—?

_Another._ No, _this_ was ridiculous. How many fucking stairs were in this case?!

'_Oh, God… Oh, God… Can I really do this? Can I really face him if he is…_'

I had to. I had to no matter what.

Another…

Another…

Another…

Two steps…

Three steps…

Sprint, Tommy! Fucking hell! It's not that hard, move your scrawny legs!

I hauled myself to the last three steps. I could see shadows. More importantly, I could see Adam.

Two steps…

One step…

The loft.

I stared, unmoving, unthinking, just staring. Adam was hovered over the boy he'd brought up here. His face was pressed to the side of the boy's neck, his hands holding the boy's wrists down. The tanned male was thrusting up into Adam, but they were both clothed. I had relief, but terror still gripped me in an icy, iron hold. Maybe it was a trick of my eyes in the darkness… Was that blood staining the light fur? No… that was just a dark patch.

But why was there a metallic scent? A scent of blood?

I had to fight the urge to gag. The boy's motions were slowing, as if he was tired. Maybe that's all he was— tired. Would anyone be tired? I would… I was. I gripped the railing of the half-wall beside me, feeling my knees beginning to fail me. No, that was an unmistakable smell of blood. That was blood on the fur. The boy wasn't tired. He was dying. I swayed slightly, holding tightly to the cool metal as Adam sat up, closing the boy's dead eyes. There was no failure, no mistake. He was dead. Adam had killed him. The blood was stained on his lips, whether still present from me or fresh from this boy. His head lifted, and his eyes found mine. They widened in show, realization, and fear. Why was he afraid? I was the one who was afraid.

"No, Tommy—" he reached out to me. But I didn't even hear him. I didn't even see him. I let go of the railing, turning on my heel and racing down the stairs. Why was I running?

'_The guy you like is a fucking vampire! He _drinks blood_, Tommy! That's why you felt dizzy earlier! Fuck! He was drinking off of you just fifteen minutes ago or whatever! Fuck!!_' My head was screaming. Literally screaming. Or was that me? I couldn't tell anymore. I stumbled off of the last three steps, crashing to the floor. But I didn't feel anything. My mind was on over drive, my heart going a thousand beats a second. Oh God, oh God, oh God! This wasn't real! This was insane! Shit like this didn't exist!

'_Except that it does. And now you have to get over it and deal._' Tears of a cross between shock and fear ran down my face as I picked myself back up and raced through the crowd, pushing and shoving without a second thought or care. I needed to get out of the club, I really needed to get out. The air was thick, suffocating me to the point of where I wanted to just pass out on the floor. I choked back a sob, feeling the tears flying off my face as I hurled myself to the side door we had come through not long before. The night air was cool against my face, drying my tears as I stumbled towards Adam's car. I didn't have a key. Not that I really wanted to drive _his_ car anyway. That would be almost too much.

'_Welcome to the real world, Tommy. Sexy glam stars are really vampires and you're actually gay for them._'

I slowed my pace, feeling cold all of a sudden. Los Angeles was normally warm year round. And this November night was cold. Why? I looked up into the dark skies, seeing clouds rolling over one another. Oh. That was why. When the fuck did it rain in Los Angeles? I sighed, hugging myself tightly as I crossed through the parking lot. The crowds of people that had filled the sidewalks were nearly empty now. Fewer cars drove by. But this didn't matter to me. I was shaking from seeing Adam… He… I closed my eyes, shivering, taking slow steps forward, keeping my head down.

I didn't want to believe any of it. But there was no mistake of it. The club may have been dark, but I could see Adam bent over that kid as if he was in daylight. I could see the blood on his lips as he looked up at me, the boy dead beneath him. I shuddered again, hugging myself tighter. Adam killed someone… how many others had been before? Dozens, hundreds? I choked, images hitting my brain like a semi-truck on full speed, and I nearly puked onto the parking lot pavement. Oh, God… what if it had been thousands?

"Tommy!" I froze in my tracks, staring straight ahead. Oh no, oh no…

'_Don't turn around, it's just your imagination. Keep walking, it's just your imagination…_' I told myself over and over in my head, taking another slow step forward. Light footfalls landed behind me and I felt his icy hands on my nearly bare shoulders. I cried out in fear and panic, whipping around and out of his grasp, staring with red-rimmed eyes. He took a slight step back, concerned and anguished. Why was he the one who was anguished?!

"Tommy— I, I can explain…" He began. I surprised myself by breaking out into hysterical laughs. I couldn't fathom why, exactly, I was laughing, but for some reason I just… was.

"What is there to explain, Adam? I just saw the impossible… How do you explain that?" I said, coughing as anxiety began to worm its way into my system. I was shaking more visibly that before, and it wasn't because I was cold. Adam looked away, at a loss as my breathing became light. God, I was standing in front of a fucking _vampire_!

"I'm sorry, I—" he began. I shook my head. I had to get away from him. If only for a little while. I wasn't sure how long I needed, but right then I couldn't be near him. He didn't disgust me— he could never. I was just afraid. I was afraid that at any moment his apologetic face would drop and he would attack me. To keep his secret. I cared about Adam— but I didn't want to die because I knew something that perhaps I wasn't meant to. Adam looked up quizzically at me, his eyes widening a little as I took careful steps away. I needed to… I couldn't… Fuck, my thoughts were a mess because of him!

'_Run, Tommy! Just run!_' That sounded like a pretty swell idea.

"Tommy—!" He called my name as I turned and ran as fast as I could, curving out of the parking lot and racing down the empty side walk. People had crowded themselves into bars, uncaring that I was racing towards wherever as if the hounds of hell were on my tails. Which wasn't completely far from the truth. But there was only one hound.


	20. We're Official

**Late Tuesday night, 12:21 AM**

I pumped my arms hard at my sides, racing down the street as fast and as far as my legs could take me. My lungs were raging with cold screams and I could feel the warm sting of tears behind my eyes. I didn't know why I was crying, but I didn't try to stop it either. Why bother? There wasn't much going on around me. Only a few people came out onto the sidewalks or drove past and gave me strange looks for running. But I didn't pay them any mind or care. Why should I? I didn't know these people and I had no intention of slowing down and apologizing for acting like a fucking freak. Fucking hell, it was Los Angeles— everyone was a freak.

'_Adam just so happens to be the uber freak._' I shook my head, slowing to a pained walk, my hands on the back of my hand as I breathed deeply through my nose and out my mouth. My sides felt like they were ripping open at invisible seams; I was afraid for a moment that my lungs were going to crash in on me and I would suffocate on the cold pavement. But then I reminded myself to calm down and not fall prey to anxiety attacks— something that happened often when I was a kid. I had been fortunate for years in dodging their bullets, but I could feel the edginess in my breath and the dark, fuzzy lining rimming my vision. I closed my eyes, breathing slowly and walking straight. Instinct kept me moving forward even though I couldn't see anything now.

I wasn't sure what I was going to do, either. Part of me said that I would be fine, that I should stay. Adam wouldn't hurt me, right? He was a nice guy, and he didn't seem like the kind of person to intentionally— '_Think about what you've just witnessed, Tommy! Adam killed an innocent person! He _killed _that poor kid! That's not hurting someone?_' I whimpered, trying to breathe as best I could and still put ground between myself and wherever Adam might be. I didn't think that I would find myself running away from him, but what other choice did I have? So many thoughts were running through my head, and hundreds of little things that I should have realized before were suddenly dawning upon me and making everything worse. I felt the sting of tears behind my eyes and fought hard to keep them back. No, I would not cry.

But fuck I wanted to.

'_Calm down, Tommy. Just calm down, you'll be able to sort all of this madness out soon._' I wanted to believe that. I really did, but it was becoming increasingly difficult with each step that I took. I didn't know where I was going, but I hoped it was in the general direction of the condo. I needed to go back and get money. I needed to figure out what the hell I was going to do. Would I stay? Would I leave? Adam would be upset if I left. The band would be upset. I'd be upset with myself if I left. '_But can you put your life on the line for the love of a monster?_' I paused for a second, my heart finally calming itself as I glanced up at the heavy moon hanging in the polluted sky.

Adam wasn't a monster. He was just different. That's all.

I walked forward again, my head spinning. I cared about Adam, that was true. I cared deeply for him, and I really liked him. But he was a fucking vampire. An inhuman creature that drank human blood for survival. What if I became his next necessary meal? '_Tommy, honestly— if Adam didn't care for you as much as he obviously does, you would have been his first meal._' I sighed heavily, reaching up and rubbing the back of my neck gently. My head hurt and everything began to ache. The stress and the shock from… what had happened, were obviously taking a physical toll on my body and leaving me in discomfort. God, I hated this.

I must've walked a ways, because when I looked up I didn't know where I was. None of the surrounding areas were familiar and the streets were dark. I felt panic rising in the back of my throat, but I told myself to stay calm. There was no one around but me, and all I had to do was look for the brighter distances. I looked left and right, turning in circles where I stood, feeling my heart beginning to race when it had just started to calm itself down again. I looked again and again, hoping that my eyes were tricking me and that my surroundings weren't as bad as I was fearing.

I couldn't find the brightness of the city. It was as if I walked into a shadow zone.

I sighed heavily, feeling my breath coming quickly after the exhale, and I turned again. This wasn't cool, like, at all. I was lost and I had a vampire trying to hunt me down. My only solace was that he wasn't hunting me down to eat me. At least, I hoped not.

I turned to my left, hoping that I was going the right direction. Walking forward, it seemed like the shadows just got thicker around me. The air was cold and the moon was fighting to stay in front of a cloud. I shivered, wrapping my arms around myself as I walked. The buildings seemed nice, but the darkness was eerie and making them loom over me like disapproving ministers of hell. I trembled, breathing hard as my pace quickened. Why couldn't I find light? Why was it so dark all of a sudden? Fuck, for once I wish I hadn't run away from Adam… He'd keep me safe, right… He'd protect me…

'_If he didn't eat you first._' I winced, closing my eyes as I walked. No, not the time and place to be thinking about something like that. Especially the place. A lump formed in the back of my throat as I walked; paranoia gripping my shoulders, forcing me to look over them after every corner I passed. It was like waiting for that really cheesy monster jump-out in a sucky horror film, and it's just not quite there yet. '_Good to hear you still use horrible analogies even when you're paranoid and freaked as fuck._' I sighed, tightening my hold on myself as I walked just a little faster, stepping around a corner and walker deeper into the darkness.

No, Adam wasn't going to eat me. I had to convince myself that something like that wasn't going to happen. I exhaled a heavy breath, but my grip on myself refused to let up. I was shaking, though not from the temperature, although it was a little chillier than normal. Stupid L.A. weather, always shifting. Though not as bad as some places; I'd heard horror stories of Florida and Oregon weather (where the fuck is a place like Oregon located?!), and L.A. was pretty chill—

'_Why are you arguing with yourself about the fucking weather?! You've got a mother fucking vampire trying to hunt you down!!_' Okay, so I wasn't the most logical person in the entire world, but sometimes thinking about other things kept my mind off of the bigger issue. Like thinking of the weather instead of a sexy, glam vampire trying to hunt me down in the middle of a darkened L.A. street. Fantastic.

I turned another corner, stepping out onto a more well lit street. It was still dark compared to where I had been when I left Adam, but it was better than the back alley areas. I sighed softly, rubbing my arms to keep some warmth in them. I didn't know what time it was, where I was at, or even if Adam was still following me. Part of me hoped that he was, simply because, even though he was a blood sucking creature of the night, I missed him. I felt so comfortable and safe around him, and I wanted to be with him. But then there was the logical side of me that prayed he'd given up, and that I wouldn't have to deal with the fear that he would kill m—

"Tommy!"

I was at a cross between two thoughts: "PRAISE JESUS" and "Shit".

I glanced over my shoulder, seeing his oceanic eyes full of worry and also relief. I spun quickly, walking faster. Why was I still running? I shouldn't be running away, I should be running to him! What was I doing?! But I didn't have time to answer myself as I felt his icy hands on my shoulders, spinning me around. I shivered slightly, but that was more or less just a natural reaction now. I kept my head down, not wanting to look at him. How could I? I'd just run from him. How could I look him in the eye now? God, my thoughts were a mess.

"Tommy— Tommy, baby, look at me." I didn't move. Adam was silent for a moment, before sighing softly. His hands slid from my shoulders, down to my biceps. He gripped them tightly, his hands cold against my skin as he pulled me towards his car. I didn't struggle, I didn't scream or shout, I didn't say a word. I was silent and I followed him, not making a notion of resistance as he shoved me into the passenger seat of the car. I kept my head down, staring at the floor of his Porsche. Adam opened the door of the driver's side and slid in, closing the door and restarting the engine. It purred to life and he pulled forward, driving easily along the road.

"Look… I'm sorry that you learned the way you did. I wish— I wish I could have told you sooner but I wasn't sure how you would handle the situation." He said slowly, choosing his words carefully. His voice was strained, though because of what I wasn't sure. His hands were tight on the steering wheel, the skin over his knuckles stretched thin and firm. I kept my hands on my lap, wanting to reach out and take one of his hands in mine, but also not wanting to move.

"But… being unaware of my surroundings wasn't any better. I should have… I'm sorry— I'm sorry that you…" He stuttered. He couldn't apologize to me. I didn't want apologies, I wanted… fuck, what did I want?!

The road stretched on, straight and empty. We were leaving the city lights and heading towards a darker, calmer area. Though where I didn't know. "Tommy? Tommy, please say something." He said, half begging me. What could I say? There wasn't much coming to mind to make for intelligent conversation. And nor was there anything for unintelligent conversation. I pulled my hands together, clasping them firmly in my lap. Out of the corner of my eye I saw Adam look over at me briefly, his eyes pleading and desperate. I frowned slightly, trying to think of anything to say. But I couldn't…

"Tommy…" He whispered; one of his hands slid from the steering wheel, and he reached over to me, unclasping my hands and gripping my left hand gently. I felt a breath escape my lips. I didn't have to move, and I was holding his hand. Win-win situation for me!

"Pull over." I said softly, surprised at how calm my voice sounded. Adam nodded once, easing the Porsche off to the side of the road, which was slightly covered in curling bushes and overgrown trees. We had gone farther out of the city than I had originally thought before, and now we were closer to being in the middle of nowhere, almost. It was quiet and dark, a perfect place to talk to a vampire, right? Out of the city, away from other people.

Fuck.

There was silence between us for a long moment, though in reality it was just short of a minute. I knew this because I was staring at the clock. My fingers tightened around Adam's, and I gave his hand a gentle squeeze. He glanced over at me, his eyes still pleading and wanting me to speak. What did he want from me, though? I was just a little human man of twenty-fucking-two. My birthday had been just a little over a month ago. And Adam— fuck, Adam was a gorgeous, talented, and amazing… _vampire_. I cringed lightly at the word. A vampire meant he wasn't normal. He wasn't human.

"What are you thinking?" He asked above a whisper. I blinked once, before chuckling. His question humored me, but it wasn't what I was expecting.

"What am I thinking? What am I supposed to think, Adam?" I retorted. I felt the need to shout beginning to rise in the back of my throat, my heart beginning to race. I exhaled a heavy breath, leaning my head against the headrest of my seat. "You're… You're a vampire Adam, how am I supposed to react to something like that?" I turned my head to face him, staring deeply into his shadowed eyes. He blinked once, glancing down in defeat. He didn't know how I was meant to react either. I guess he never told Drake his secret.

"I'm sorry—" he began to say, but I raised my free hand to stop him.

"Don't apologize to me, Adam. Sorry isn't going to fix what you are. It's not going to fix what I saw. I'm not going to lie to you, seeing you at the club like that… it frightens me. It frightens me like you would not believe." I sighed, turning my head away and staring down at my shoes. My right hand lifted, the tips of my fingers pressing against the cool, scarred crescent in the side of my neck. I shivered lightly at the memory of his mouth against my skin, his teeth digging in, and Adam squeezed my hand. I had no doubt in my mind that he knew what I was thinking with my fingers pressed to the side of my neck.

"If I could start over and know, I would do anything. I wish I could have told you…" I shook my head.

"If I hadn't found out the way I did, we wouldn't be here. I probably wouldn't have believed you. And if you tried to show me, I probably wouldn't have stayed." Adam winced, his hand tightening painfully around mine. But I didn't make a sound to stop him, nor did I pull my hand away. He needed to know that I wasn't going anywhere.

'_So, you've made up your mind, then? You're staying with him, even though he's a blood-sucking leech?_' I growled mentally, hating my own subconscious from time to time. Adam wasn't a leech. He was just as humane as I was; he just needed a different type of food to survive. I lifted my head, looking back over at him, though he refused to meet my gaze.

"But we're learning right here and now, and that's the best way. Because I saw it first hand, there's not trying to convince myself that it's not true. And the fact that we're here, talking about this, makes me even surer that I want to stay with you, and that I trust you." His head snapped in my direction, his eyes alight with joy and hope. I smiled slightly at him, giving his hand another squeeze, even though mine was turning blue with lack of blood flow. His grip lightened a little, and he leaned over, kissing my lips gently. I kissed back, reaching up and cupping his face in my right hand.

"You have no idea how happy it makes me that you want to stay." He said softly.

"I think I do. Because it would kill me inside to leave you. I can't change who you are, but that doesn't mean I have to be afraid of you, either." I replied, kissing him again. His tongue, icy and tingling against my lips, slipped inside, roaming the warm caverns of my mouth, brushing against mine. The familiar burn of his saliva gliding down my throat forced a moan to emerge, and Adam smiled against me. His left hand wound itself deep into my hair, shoving the headband and feathers into a messy array. He pulled hard on my hair, and I moaned again, fighting his tongue back into his mouth. We battled for a moment, before something sharp scraped the tip of my tongue, and I tasted blood.

I pulled away, groaning in pain for a moment, before locking my tongue in my mouth and staring wildly at Adam. His eyes were glazed with a light blood lust, but he didn't advance on me. He stayed calm despite his desires being clear in his purple-ish eyes— purple?! '_Remember, Tommy, he's a vampire. His eyes are probably normally red._' Then why, whenever I saw him, they were blue? An electrifying, beautiful blue? '_A cover, most likely._'

Ah.

"Sorry." He said softly, before studying my face. "Here, stick out your tongue." I leaned away, my eyes widening slightly. He chuckled, and sighed.

"I'm not going to hurt you, just do it. You're faith in my control offends me, Thomas." I exhaled, sticking my tongue out slowly. It was still bleeding, my pulse pounding against the open wound. He leaned over, gently licking the small wound on my tongue. His saliva burned against the opening, but it eventually cooled to nothing, and the blood stopped pouring. I slipped my tongue back into my mouth, pressing it to the roof of my mouth. There was a small patch that was cooler than the rest, and I chuckled.

"Now I've got a vampire's tongue?" Adam blinked, and laughed.

"To a degree." He wiggled his eyebrows, and I laughed at the horrible attempt of a pun. Wow, Adam, wow. He leaned over and kissed me again, still holding onto my hand as he put the car into reverse, heading back into town.

"So, we're okay?" He asked. I smiled.

"Yeah. We're okay."

"…Does this mean we're… like, officially…" I knew what he was trying to say, and I lifted our clasped hands, kissing the back of his palm.

"Yeah. We're official." I wouldn't have wanted it any other way.


	21. The Call

**Thursday afternoon, 2:16 PM**

It'd been a relatively relaxing day, to be honest. After his conversation with Tommy the night before, Adam had just been lazing around the condo with the blond, not doing a damn thing really. Sometimes they'd cuddle, kiss, or watch movies. No matter what, they were in one another's arms and the other wouldn't have it any other way. But Adam was more than just comfortable and content with Tommy, he was overjoyed. He had the blond all to himself— they were official. Oh, God, they were officially together and there were no secrets. Tommy knew about him, about what he was. He didn't have to try to hide it any longer, because the person he cared for most knew.

It was more than any kind of relief. The weight of the fucking world had been lifted off of his already aching back and he could finally stand up straight. The lies and unanswered questions were brushed off and forgotten. He could just be himself with Tommy and he wouldn't have to worry anymore. Unlike being with Drake, where he had to hide every little extreme touch or night of feeding, with Tommy— he doesn't have to do all of that. If he gives Tommy that right kind of _look_ when he says he'll be right back, Tommy knows. And the beauty of it all? Tommy _doesn't care_.

He leaned over and pressed his lips to the bassist's temple, relishing in the heat of Tommy's skin, feeling his blood race beneath the thin flesh— he bit down on his tongue to keep himself from falling into temptation. He'd feed more often than normal to keep himself from being sucked into Tommy's sweetness, but no matter how much kill floated in his system, his body desired Tommy. His fingers twirled into the back of Tommy's hair, twisting and curling into the silky threads of blond. Tommy purred, nuzzling closer to Adam with a smile on his face. The TV was playing a rerun of some old seventies movie; more than anything it was just background noise. Adam rested his chin on the top of Tommy's head, closing his eyes slowly with a soft smile on his lips, his fingers twirling the short locks, before massaging Tommy's skull.

Adam smirked as Tommy moaned softly, obviously enjoying the attention and the cool fingers rubbing deep into his head. He leaned his forehead against Adam's collarbone, breathing down Adam's sweater. Adam's closed eyes tightened a little at the heat of Tommy's breath. He pressed his fingers harder into Tommy's skull, biting down on his bottom lip to keep himself in control. He wouldn't. He couldn't, he just… No, he couldn't lose it. Not when Tommy had just learned _yesterday_. Fuck.

Adam felt Tommy shift and he opened his eyes, staring as the bassist sat up, his gaze dusted with a sleepy haze. Adam smiled and pulled Tommy in by the back of his neck, his lips brushing the blonde's. He could taste the soft sweetness of Tommy's mouth, and moaned in the back of his throat. Tommy smiled wide, shivering as Adam's tongue slid between his teeth. Tommy's hands curled into the fabric of Adam's sweater, and he pulled himself onto Adam's lap. Adam's free hand dropped, first gripping Tommy's hip before his arm snaked around Tommy's lower back and pulled him closer still. Tommy's hands unwound themselves from Adam's clothes and slid up into the feathery, inky locks. And when Tommy pulled on those locks, Adam growled low in pleasure, gripping Tommy tighter and sucking gingerly on the blonde's tongue.

He could feel Tommy's heart racing against his chest, and the hand positioned on Tommy's neck shifted. He brought it down, slipping it under Tommy's shirt and pressing it gently over his beating heart. Tommy shivered, but didn't pull away. Instead, he leaned into Adam's palm, pushing his heart closer. It was the most beautiful thing to hear and feel. His senses were alight with the blonde's kiss and he whimpered, his fingers trembling against the drumming of his baby's heart beat. A part of him wanted to tilt Tommy's head to the right an sink down onto the delicate flesh, and _feel _the heart thrashing against his tongue and his teeth. To feel it as if he were holding it within his own being.

'_Just take a little taste Adam, indulge for just a moment, it's alright, you'll be fine… You can enjoy that delicious heartbeat…_' Such sweet temptation. Adam pulled away from Tommy's lips, leaving soft kisses on his baby's cheeks and on his jaw line, tracing down to his throat. He kissed and left small, light marks, but he didn't bite harder. He didn't draw blood. He simply marked his baby. '_C'mon Adam, a little taste isn't going to hurt…_' That damned cooing in the back of his head was making it really hard to concentrate on keeping himself from hurting Tommy. And as Tommy leaned his head back, exposing his neck further, Adam couldn't fight the whimpering moan from escaping his lips. He pressed his lips to his favorite spot, kissing and nibbling lightly, before biting down just a little harder. Not enough to draw blood, but enough that Tommy shivered violently against him. Adam's hands snaked over the blonde's body, feeling every inch of his skin beneath his shirt. Tommy moaned softly, pulling hard on Adam's hair.

'_Harder, Adam. Just a drop, a sip even…_' He squeezed his eyes shut. He'd already done that once, and if he'd let it continue, he wouldn't be here. If he'd drained Tommy at the club, he would be in the sunlight right now, dying for his stupidity. For his heartache. He couldn't risk that again.

'_Just a little, Adam…_' No.

'_A taste!_' _No._

'_Adam—_' _No!_

"Adam…" Tommy moaned, his heart pounding fierce into Adam's palm. Adam pulled his lips away from Tommy's throat, shuddering. He wouldn't. Tommy's eyes opened and he gazed cautiously at Adam, who was breathing hard, his palm tight against Tommy's chest.

"Why'd you stop?" Tommy asked gently, massaging Adam's scalp. The glam star exhaled a heavy, long breath, relishing the feel of Tommy's fingers.

"Because— you're just too tempting…" He said with a smile, kissing the blond softly. Tommy laughed lightly into Adam's lips, stroking his hair with easy touches that made Adam shiver. Tommy seemed to know what the glam star liked. He liked his hair being stroked, he liked cuddling. Both of which Tommy was extremely good at doing.

"Well, I guess I'll have to work on being less tempting, then." Tommy said with a smirk, his eyebrow raising slightly. Adam chuckled, kissing his Glitterbaby again. '_Mine…_' He thought to himself. _His _Glitterbaby, _his_ boy, _his_ Tommy. Adam wasn't normally a possessive person, but when it came down to those which he cared most for, he was an absolute freak. And with every passing moment, Adam could feel the need to protect Tommy and the desire for him growing stronger. The possessive obsessed.

"Just be you, Glitterbaby," he said, kissing Tommy again and again. '_It's you I care for. Nothing more or less._'

He couldn't really bring himself to say what he knew he felt. He couldn't bring himself to say he loved his Glitterbaby. Because he wasn't entirely sure how the blond would react. Yeah, okay, fine, he can get into people's heads and know what they're thinking. But when it came to emotions and feelings, Tommy had a brick wall a thousand miles high and thick, locking Adam out. Adam could tell anyone that, at that moment, Tommy was thinking about how good it felt when Adam bit him, but Adam couldn't tell how the blond felt inside. He only knew when he responded.

'_Just like that night he got wasted. He was responding to you without a second thought._' But then again, he _had_ been drunk off his ass. So perhaps that played a key role, but Adam didn't know for certain. He could find out easily, but why bring up a conversation like that when he wasn't supposed to know anything? '_Ooooh, drama, not necessary._' He thought to himself with a soft breath passing between his lips and into Tommy's mouth. The blond pulled away slowly, eyeing Adam.

"What?" Adam asked, confusion on his face.

"Are you okay, Baby Boy?" The blond questioned softly, stroking Adam's cheek with his thumb. Adam smiled slightly.

"Of course, baby." Adam said, kissing Tommy again. On the table, a soft tune began to play and Adam looked over, seeing his phone buzzing with GaGa's Telephone. Tommy turned his head and looked, a smirk on his face.

"Really? GaGa?" Tommy's voice was teasing and Adam rolled his eyes while leaning over and grabbing his buzzing phone. He glanced at the screen, feeling the breath halt in his throat. A name he wasn't quite expecting flashed on the screen, and he turned to Tommy, trying to keep himself as calm as he could as he pulled himself away from Tommy's body.

"One second, baby, I need to take this call." He said, standing up as Tommy repositioned himself on the edge of the couch. Adam crossed to the other side of the living room, pressing the screen of his phone and holding it to his ear. "Hello?" He asked into the receiver of his phone, his eyes blankly staring out the shadowed side of the city. There was something nagging in the back of his mind about this, and he had a bad feeling about the conversation to be had.

"Are you alone?" Her voice was cool, delicate, and cold all the same. By Adam's silence, she must've known his answer, and she waited for him to find a room to himself. Adam motioned a 'be right back' to his baby on the couch, and crossed from the living room into the hallway and into the bedroom, shutting the door behind him. The room was cool, and he sat down on the edge of the bed, facing the eastern wall. If he had a heart, it would be pounding fierce. If he wasn't what he was, he wouldn't be having this call, and he knew this.

"Now I am." He said.

"Good." A tremble vibrated down his spine and he stared hard at the wall. His free hand clenched and unclenched nervously. He hadn't expected her to call. Then again, he hadn't expected a lot of this, so it really shouldn't have been a surprise. She always seemed to know when the cards had shifted with him…

"We need to meet." She said, and Adam momentarily stopped breathing. He technically didn't need air, but he had become so used to breathing in and out that he choked when he forgot to.

"Now?" He asked, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

"Yes, now. We need to talk."

"About what?" He didn't need to ask though.

"About the things that have happened. Just because I don't live anywhere close to you on a regular basis doesn't mean I don't know what's been going on, Adam. Remember, there are people who live in your city that I keep in touch with. You're not the only vampire in Los Angeles." Adam winced. He still didn't like the technical term of what he was. Hell, he hated what he was. But he had to keep on existing, for now he was famous. Fuck.

"I know that—" Adam said, but she cut him off before he could say anything more.

"Apparently you don't, Adam." Adam sighed heavily. She was right. With the exception of Joshua (though that was now a changed case), he didn't keep in touch with any others of his kind, even those who lived within the city. If he saw them, it was briefly, whether at a club or at a restaurant. He submersed himself with friends and fans who still had heartbeats. Why? Because he wanted to feel like he was still one of them.

"Apparently you don't know me. I know I'm not the only one here." He snarled into the receiver.

"Don't you dare use that tone with me, Adam Mitchell Lambert." He felt anger swell in his throat. Who was she to tell him what to do?

"You're not my mother." He hissed.

"I'm more of a mother for you now than the one who gave birth to you." Oh, no she didn't.

"How dare you—"

"Adam, I don't mean that as in I'm better than Leila. I'm saying that for _what you are_, I am the equivalent. I've been with you since your creation. Or do you not remember that?" Adam blinked slowly, before letting out a long, exhausted sigh. He knew. He remembered, oh he remembered well.

"I do. I'm sorry." He said softly.

"It's alright. But we need to meet. Today. You can't blow me off like you did the other day." He sighed again. He'd meant to have dinner with her, but he'd gotten— sidetracked. '_Yeah, you took Tommy home, got yourself sick, fought with Joshua, and then nearly fucked the bassist's brains out. Way to go Adam. Now, would you like a side of epic with that fail of yours?_' He gnawed on his bottom lip gently.

"I know. I'm sorry about that. Where should I meet you."

"The same place we'd discussed before. I still have my reservation there. The man I talked to was kind enough for me to keep a hold on it. It is, after all, a very popular restaurant." He could hear the seductive smirk in her voice, and he couldn't fight the smile.

"When?"

"As soon as you can. I'll be waiting." She said firmly. Adam knew he couldn't back out of this one now, even with his baby waiting for him in the living room. He looked up at the ceiling.

"Alright. I'll see you soon."

"Goodbye, Adam."

"Bye." He replied, hearing her end of the line click and the call was ended. Adam dropped his gaze from the ceiling and shoved his phone into his pocket, standing from the edge of the bed where he'd been sitting. He crossed to the door of the bedroom, and pulled it open. He walked out, back to the living room. Tommy was sprawled on the couch, remote in one hand by his hip, his other hand cradling the back of his head against the arm of the couch. His usual brown eyes were closed; he was dozing. Adam smiled, stepping up to the back of the couch, reaching down and stroking Tommy's cheek with the tips of his fingers. The blonde's eyes opened slowly, and he turned his head, glancing at Adam.

"I have to go out for a while. I'm meeting an old friend for drinks. I'll be back soon, baby." Adam said softly. Tommy nodded once, sleepy. Smiling still, Adam leaned down and kissed Tommy's forehead, wishing he could linger there for a few moments longer. But he couldn't. Stroking Tommy's hair briefly, he whispered a soft 'bye' to his Glitterbaby, before turning away and heading for the door. He heard Tommy shift, and the sound of soft snoring. He was already out again.

Closing the door behind him, Adam inhaled slowly. He couldn't sense anyone on his floor, and there was no one in the elevator. Excellent. He took a step forward, shooting down the hall and around the corners, slower than he would normally travel. Of course he was going slower, he was still in the building. Whatever. He stopped at the elevator, feeling rejuvenated and pumped. He allowed himself a large smile. He hadn't moved like that in a while. It was nice. Pressing the down button, the elevator dinged softly, the doors sliding open fluidly. Stepping on, Adam pressed the garage button in silence, kind of more than hating that he was using the elevators. He wished he could run down the stairs. But there were people there. Ugh.

After what felt to be an eternity, Adam stepped out of the elevator, crossing to his Porsche, sitting in its usual spot. He glanced to his left, out of the garage and to the break of outside. Clouds. Thank God for clouds. He unlocked the car and slipped into the driver's seat, closing the door. He slid the keys into the ignition and turned, smiling as his car purred to life. He loved this car; a birthday present from his parents when he was twenty-four. Just before things changed. Before _he_ changed. Was it really only a few years? Fuck, it felt like longer. He could have sworn that he'd— no. It was a week after his birthday. It'd been almost three years. He was getting on in human years, but as a vampire, he was barely more than a baby. But he'd been raised and taught well; he was more mature than most other vampires his age. Maybe that was why he felt so fucking old.

"Whatever." He said, pulling out of the garage and out into the clouded city. Clouds he had no problem with, direct light he did. He spun the wheel easily, turning onto a different street, heading east. The radio was playing a copy of GaGa's Fame Monster; what? Adam liked this record. It was catchy, nice to listen to, and utterly sexy. Tapping his fingers to Bad Romance, Adam eased down the city streets at a decent forty-five, just barely pushing the limit. He wished he could go faster. Fuck, he wish he could just sprint this distance, but he couldn't test the sun, and he'd rather have some cover from his car than nothing at all.

Los Angeles was a beautiful place, that much he knew from the beginning. But in the daylight, it just wasn't magical. It was dirty and hot, and sometimes he questioned why he lived here. But then the night would roll around. The city would light up with colors and drinks and music and Adam would remember exactly why he loved living here. Los Angeles was his home, it was the perfect place for him. Full of life and people and memories. He couldn't leave it for long periods of time, no matter how much he hated his home in the daylight.

More streets, more buildings passed before reaching into the land of nothingness and Adam could see the restaurant coming into bloom. Normally, The Rabbit Hole was a pretty empty place during the day. Considering it was a rather unheard of site to mortals and Los Angeles was ninety-percent of the time sunny as all fuck, it was natural. But today, with clouds and easy breezes, it was relatively full. Swerving into the lot, Adam parked between two smaller, black cars. Most of the cars were either black, blue or red. Darker colors. He was surprised that this wasn't really a dead giveaway, but mortals tended to be closed-minded on the "impossible". Opening the car door, Adam pulled himself out of his car and shut it, locking it tight before rushing to the door. The sun was starting to peek out briefly from the clouds and he didn't want to be weak again. He hated it. Though if he was going to get weak, this was the perfect place to be.

The thing about The Rabbit Hole was that it was an unheard of restaurant for mortals, but for vampires it was the most popular place for blood. Primarily, it was a bar. A dark, cool, safe haven for wandering vampires and those more centered, city vampires. Bloody Mary's served with actual blood, Type-A Vodka, Type-B Rum, anything anyone desired. Adam pulled the door open, keeping his head low. Even in this separate society, he was still just as famous as he was in the mortal's. Unsurprising yet all the same. He didn't mind it though.

He sat down on a stool beside a woman with curled brown hair and reddened eyes; she'd started without him. On her shoulders clung a form-fitting leather jacket over a white cami. Dark brown trousers and stilettos, she lifted a glass with straight blood— she wasn't much of a drinker beyond what she needed. Sometimes she would splurge, like today. Metal rings and a pair of diamond earrings, she was just as famous if not more so than Adam. It shocked him that no one else was all over her yet. Or maybe she'd used her dominant and kick ass attitude to keep them in line.

"'Bout time you showed up." She said after swallowing.

"Nice to see you too, Lynn." Adam said. He glanced up at the bartender, half wishing that the male had vibrant red hair and brown eyes instead of blond hair and green eyes. '_At least he's attractive. Besides, if Joshua was here, he'd probably try to tear you limb from limb._' Adam sighed, and raised a peace sign to the tender— a number two; shot of vodka mixed with a twelve oz of blood. Tasty.


	22. Slipped Up

**Thursday afternoon, 2:58 PM**

Adam took another drink, before motioning to the tender to bring him another. He glanced once over at the blond with supposed green eyes. Damon. Nice name. He sighed heavily, glancing down at his hands, which were folded neatly on the counter top of the bar. Lynn sat in silence next to him, chugging down her own blood before setting the rimmed red glass back down onto the table, a content sigh leaving her lips. He didn't really want to look at her. They've been here before, and he knew that the conversation would be mostly the same. Only this time it would be about Tommy, not Drake.

Fucking punk bastard. Adam can't even stand to think about him at this point. Too much heartache and rage for that little fucker. Damon passed him another drink, and Adam nodded in thanks, wrapping his fingers loosely around the glass. He didn't lift it to drink, instead he stared at it in further silence. He could tell that Lynn didn't want to talk first, at least not right at that moment. So instead, Adam decided to have a little fun, to indulge his curiosity. He centered his senses directly to his hearing, scanning the perimeter.

They were talking about him, and Lynn. About how a rising singer was with an uber famous and drop dead gorgeous actress. Some people didn't even know them, didn't give them another thought. Some were talking about how cute he was or how trendy Lynn's shoes were. He smiled and lifted his glass, taking a long, slow drink. The vodka was barely anything beneath the blood; it was sweet. Tangy, almost like a citrus drink. Adam liked citrus drinks.

"So, what did you want to talk about?" Adam asked, setting his glass back down again. Lynn swallowed her last drink, before motioning to Damon again.

"How you were, what you were up to, how's the family, what happened between you and Joshua and, primarily—" Lynn turned to look at Adam, "the AMA's." She finished. Adam blinked once and sighed heavily, swirling the blood in his glass for a moment. He really didn't want to talk about parts of what she wanted to know. Joshua and the AMA's. Fuck. He really, _really_ didn't want to talk about it, but he knew that he had to. He couldn't put it off, especially since Lynn had been waiting for several days to talk to him.

"I've been better, to say the least, but that doesn't mean I'm not happy. I'm very happy, it's just… getting here was hard." Lynn frowned and Adam stopped swirling his drink. "What I mean is, getting to today was harder than I wish it was. I've made some— mistakes, to say the least."

"What kind of mistakes?" Lynn's voice was low, demanding. But sincere, curious, concerned and very motherly. She was practically his care taker, his advisor, his law. She knew almost everything there was to living in a humane society and not fucking everything up. Adam glanced up at the wall behind the bar, taking a long, deep breath before taking a drink, and setting his glass down.

"Nothing." He said quickly. Lynn turned in her seat like lightening, staring coldly at the singer.

"It's not nothing, Adam, don't fucking lie to me. What mistakes did you make?" Adam inhaled slowly, taking another drink. He knew that by coming here, he'd be coming clean of a lot of the things he'd done. He knew that coming here.

"I haven't been careful. I've slipped up." He said, glancing over at her and seeing the disapproval and rage beginning to pool in her eyes. He swallowed the lump in his throat, looking away again. He knew she'd be angry. How many times had she told him in the past two and half years to be careful? '_More than enough for you to get it through your head, Lambert_.' He thought to himself, licking his lips and folding his hands on the counter top of the bar. Lynn sighed, running her fingers along the back of her neck. She was frustrated.

"Slipped up how? Drake found out or something?" Adam snorted.

"No. Drake's an over with sack of waste." Lynn frowned, her eyes snapping over to him.

"What? I thought you were head over heels for that meatball." Adam used to hate it when Lynn insulted his lovers. But now he didn't care, especially since the topic of choice was Drake. Adam sighed, running his fingers through his hair and tugging softly. God, this was becoming too much for him. He just wanted to go home and snuggle with his Glitterbaby. Fuck, Tommy. How was he going to explain that to Lynn?

"I was, then I found out he was cheating on me. So, he's out of my life." Adam explained. Lynn nodded once, throwing back the last of her drink before setting the glass aside. When Damon motioned if she wanted another, she shook her head, turning on her stool to face Adam fully. The singer glanced at her, before finishing his own drink, handing the glass to Damon. No, he didn't want another one.

"Okay— so you're out of relationships. What happened with Joshua?" Lynn moved right onto the next question like she moved on with the next movie. She was an actress, after all. And a damn good one. She'd done many roles in her life, going under different names and different appearances. She'd been around, acting and performing on stage, for several decades. And she never looked any older than her early twenties.

Adam clenched his jaw, staring hard at the wall again. Fuck, Joshua. _Fuck Joshua_. Adam had made a lot of mistakes, and most of them involving Joshua. He sighed, feeling exhausted. "Joshua and I don't really see eye to eye anymore. We got into a fight and we haven't talked for about a week or so now, I don't know how long it's been…" He trailed off, not really wanting to talk more on the subject, but he knew that she would ask him more about it.

"You don't see eye to eye, what do you mean?" He figured as much.

"Joshua and I… I'm sure you know we had a connection, we fed off each other when we needed it."

"Yeah. Adam, I could pretty much sense your imprint from a thousand miles away. I'm certain almost any vampire could." Lynn said with a flat tone, and Adam rolled his eyes. Lynn, Lynn, Lynn…

"Well, Joshua wanted more than just a drink from me when he needed it. And I wasn't interested in him." Lynn blinked once, processing it.

"But he seemed like a nice enough guy, perfect, he has a job. Why weren't you interested in him?" She asked, shaking her head slowly.

"Because… I…" Shit. Moment of truth. He had to talk about Tommy. And in talking about Tommy, he would talk about the AMA's. And in talking about the AMA's, he would talk about every other moment he spent with Tommy. His Glitterbaby. Fuck. He wanted nothing but the best and love for his baby and here he was, sucking him into vampire affairs. He was only human. He didn't need to be part of this. And yet—

"You, what? Adam, please, for the love of God, tell me you did not fall for another meat sack." Lynn hissed, and Adam's right hand twitched. No. He wouldn't lash out. Lynn only meant the best for him. She was only being protective and caring for him. She wanted the best. She wanted the best, he knew this. He's known this his entire vampire life, because she'd spent every moment of it with him, nurturing him and teaching him everything he needed to know before he could walk on his own two feet out into the world. He knew he shouldn't have…

But the look in his eyes told Lynn everything she needed to know, and she swore loudly in the middle of the Rabbit Hole.

"Adam! Oh, my God— really? Really? Another one? _Another one_?" Lynn growled, a light forming around her like an angry aura of violent red. Adam bit down on his tongue, not wanting to start an argument that had no place in a vampire's bar. Especially about mortals. Yeah, no.

"I'm sorry, Lynn." He muttered.

"Adam, an apology doesn't cut it. You're a young vampire living a rock and roll lifestyle, and you keep falling in love with fucking mortals. You keep falling for the most fragile ones, and that is going to ultimately be your downfall!" Lynn took a long, deep breath, massaging her temples with her fingertips. "I've tried for two and a half years to teach you that relationships with mortals are neither easy or sane—"

"I'm fully aware of that, Lynn—" he tried to cut in.

"No, you're not, Adam!" Her head snapped in his direction and her eyes were so disapproving. Adam chewed on the inside of his cheek, exhaling heavily through his nose. "You're not aware like you should be. And I get that's because of your age, but you've gotta stop letting your dick do the talking for you!"

"I'm not sleeping with them if that's what you're implying!" Adam retorted. He only now noticed that the bar had cleaned out a little bit. Not much, just about a dozen people had gone. They had most of the main room to themselves. Only Damon and some loner in the back corner drinking greedily on three glasses at once. Sucky.

"Maybe that was what I was implying, but I don't say that because I've been there too. I let my urges and my wants talk louder than what was right. I've tried to give the best to you because I never had someone to give me the advice or the what-not-to-do's." Lynn leaned closer to him, her mint-and-AB-positive breath gracing his neck. Delicious. "Adam— you have to listen to me when I say this. Whatever relation you have with this human boy, it's going to have to stop." Adam's eyes snapped and locked on Lynn's face. Lose Tommy? No. He couldn't.

"Lynn— I can't… I can't just stop my relationship with him."

"You _have_ to." Lynn whispered. Adam felt a breath wheeze itself from his chest, and he looked away from her again. He couldn't. Tommy— his Glitterbaby, no. They just really gotten together, and already they'd been through quite a ride. Tommy knew his secret. Tommy knew and he didn't care about that. Adam could tell, every day that he looked at his beautiful blond that he didn't care, that he just wanted to be with Adam.

"No, Lynn." He said firmly, his tongue running dry. Lynn blinked a few times, her jaw locking and unlocking, before she sighed.

"And why not, Adam? Are you in _love_ with this boy? Is he the one from the AMA incident that got your kick into stardom rocketing sky high with controversy and national disturbance?" Adam's hand twitched again.

"You can't expect me to believe that, Adam. You can't. You've known him for a little over a month, Adam. And things like love take months, years even to accomplish. And the fact that he's human—"

Then, he put his foot down.

Well, his hand really. His right palm curled into a fist and he slammed it down on the countertop of the bar, putting a nice little curve into the woodwork. Damon turned, but didn't make a sound or notion to bitch Adam out about it. He was respectable. Quiet. But Damon wasn't Adam's concerned; his eyes were blazing on Lynn's face and his jaw was clenched into a fearful snarl. He was so sick of this shit.

"Maybe I do, Lynn. And you're just going to have to accept the fact that I'm different." Lynn inhaled slowly, but she didn't say anything. "I can never pay you back enough for all that you've done for me. I can never fully appreciate all the time and frustration and sanity you put in for me to teach me. But I'm not like you."

"I'm not asking you to be." Lynn said softly, her eyes downcast.

"Yes you are! You're telling me I can't be with who I want to be with! You're telling me I can't love who I love." Adam took a long deep breath, and let it out so slowly that it felt like several minutes before he finished. "And I'm sorry, but this conversation is over." He stood from the stool, turning on his heel and walking out of the Rabbit Hole. He knew that he was making another mistake by doing this, but he couldn't take it anymore. He couldn't take Lynn's bashing of his baby. She was a good, honest woman. He cared about her, he loved her. But he couldn't take it.

Fortunately, it was dark enough outside that he didn't have to be concerned about the sunlight. He slipped over to his car, unlocking it and jumping in, slamming the door shut. He knew he'd be regretting this later, but he didn't care right then. He just wanted to get home and enjoy a nice evening with Tommy. Light some candles, have a romantic dinner with a bottle of wine. It would be perfect, romantic. They could dance to music in the living room or snuggle up and watch a movie; he wonders briefly if Tommy's every seen _Velvet Goldmine_. He smiles, starting the engine and pulling away.

Quarter after six and Adam was on his way back to the condo. Pulling out his cell, he dials Tommy's number, holding the phone to his ear and steering with one hand. Three rings and the blond picked up on the other side, "Hello?"

"Hey baby." Adam said with a smile.

"Hey, are you on your way home?"

"Yeah. I need to pick up a few things and then I'll be there. Shouldn't take me long, I promise." He turned the wheel, flying down the road and nearing eighty miles per hour. He loved the outer edges of town; fewer cops.

"Alright. I'll be preparing dinner. How about ribs?" Adam grinned ear to ear.

"Make mine extra rare, baby." He joked, still feeling relieved that Tommy laughed on the other end of the line.

"Sure thing. See you soon."

"Okay, Tommy. Bye."

"Bye." End call, and Adam tossed his phone onto the seat beside him. He took his speed down to sixty miles per hour as he began to pass a few more cars on the road. He liked driving fast but he hated getting tickets. It was an embarrassment and a complete waste of his time. So, he abided by the laws of the road, to the best of his controlled desires, and he was safe. That was all that mattered, right? Whatever.

Driving back into the city left something a little warm in Adam. He loved being out in the middle of nowhere and being able to see the skies, but all the same, he loved being surrounded by fashion and glam. Neon lights and high heels with paparazzi shield glasses and leather jeans. It was what he always lived for, even before his new life. He wanted to be a big shot and be noticed. It was what he lived on. And as he maneuvered through the compacted streets, he hit the stereo of his car, blaring GaGa's new album. _Alejandro_. Strangely attractive and catchy, and he loved it.

Unfortunately, for one of the things that Adam wanted to pick up, the city streets weren't exactly the location he was looking for. So he drove onward, making a few turns before driving down a lane that reminded him of something out of a scenic Vegas street. Cart vendors and advertisers. But a little more toned down. He drove along, catching the eye of a dark skinned man with black dreads and a scruffy beard. He motioned the man over, pulling out his wallet from his back pocket. The man rushed over, carrying a bouquet of vibrant red roses. Handing the man a fifty, Adam took the roses, nodding as the man repeated words of thanks. He set the flowers down on the seat beside him, driving off. Now, wine.

The nice thing about being famous was that you knew people. And when you knew the _right_ people, you got the best stuff. Swerving in and out of grandmother cars, Adam spun the wheel and veered off to the right, down a darker lane, towards a shady area. Unfortunately, the people with the right stuff lived in the _wrong_ areas. But he made due. He had to, sometimes. He watched the sidewalks, waiting for the right mark, the right little— ah, there. On a brick wall, part of the lower levels of an apartment complex, was a white "x" that no one had ever bothered to paint over. In this part of L.A., no one wanted to. Adam pulled up to the sidewalk, killing the engine and stepping out. A breeze kissed his face with smog, and he locked his car up tight, crossing over and passing under the concrete supports of the building.

In the shadows, he could make out the shape. A scraggly woman with coffee cream skin, a little on the grey side. Her eyes were a dark blue, ugly black shadows beneath them. She hadn't fed in a while, he could tell. Her fingers were long and nimble, fumbling through a box that sat beside her. Her knobby knees weren't quite covered by the shorts she was wearing, and her tank top was a little worse for wear. Adam felt a pang in his chest. He crouched down beside her, reaching out with both hands to show he meant her no harm.

"Here," he said, rolling up his sleeves to his elbows and trailing his thumb nail against the inside of his wrist. Her eyes went wild and she attacked at the opening, latching her teeth in and drinking hungrily. She took from him what he had drunk at the Rabbit Hole. As always, the sexual rush, the desire to touch. But he didn't, and when his fingers touched her cheek, she stopped. A street urchin, and she was tame.

"Thank you." She said, pulling a large bottle out from the box. Ninety nine percent wine, one percent blood, made from the best breweries and sold off the main market. Only the best. Mortals wouldn't taste the blood.

"Anytime." Adam said, touching her face again before standing straight and rushing back to his car. He unlocked it and opened the passenger door, leaning in to set the bottle down on the seat. Sure, she may have been tame, but he didn't want to stay around for anyone el—

"Adam?" He froze. He knew that voice. He knew that voice well, and his breath caught in his throat as he set the bottle down, standing straight and closing the door.


	23. Goodnight, Drake

**Thursday evening, 7:24 PM**

He never meant for it to happen. It was an accident, and yet the images were still flashing in his head even as he drove away at frightful speeds, trying to hold back the need to vomit. No, vomiting was one, disgusting, and two, too kind for what he'd done. There was a part of him, deep down, that just wanted to die.

He drove down the back streets of L.A., trying to shake the nerves. Trying to convince himself that he was going to be fine, that no one had to know about it. Because, in all honesty, no one was going to know about it. For the location, the scene wasn't witnessed, and there would be no one to support a missing person's case. No one. He was fine. He took deep, steady breaths, trying so very hard to ease the shaking in his hands. But it just wasn't working, and his driving was becoming a little less than perfect.

Eventually, he decided for better judgment; he pulled over on the darkening street and exhaled a breath he hadn't realized he'd been holding. He was shaking all over and it felt as if his throat was beginning to close. Damnit. Damnit all, what had he done? He didn't mean for it to happen, but fuck… Why… Why couldn't he just control his anger? If he'd held out for five more minutes… Just five more minutes, Drake would still be alive! He may not have loved Drake, after all, the little fuck had cheated on him. But he still cared about Drake.

Adam leaned his head on his hands on the steering wheel of his car. He needed to breathe. He needed to shake the feeling before he went back home to Tommy… Fuck! Tommy, his Glitterbaby. He bit down on his bottom lip, breathing a little harder, a little shorter. Calm, calm, he needed to _calm down_.

But it was still rolling through his head…

"_Adam?" He froze. He knew that voice. He knew that voice well, and his breath caught in his throat as he set the bottle down, standing straight and closing the door. If his heart wasn't frozen for life like the rest of him, it would be thrashing with mixed emotions. But he could still feel those emotions. One being rage. Another being agony. A third being confusion. He was confused because he wasn't sure what he was doing here. Agony; he'd been the best lover Adam had ever had since Brad. Rage; the so-called "best lover" destroyed their relationship by cheating. And Adam couldn't forgive him for that._

_But still, he looked over. He looked over and he wanted to just take that boy up into his arms and hold him tight. He wanted to tell him he would be okay and that he would always be there to listen. Because when Adam looked over, Drake looked like a wreck. Like, a really, really bad wreck. His hair was sticking up in tangle knots, his eyes were dark and hooded. His shirt was a wrinkled mess, his pants look shoddy, and his shoes look ancient. Adam couldn't suppress his startled choke at the sight of his ex. _

"_Drake?" Adam's voice was just above a soft whisper. His ex took a slow, shaky step forward. He looked sickly, almost. 'Don't trust him. Don't trust him, he hurt you.' Adam thought to himself. He couldn't let Drake do any more damage._

'_You still care about him, Adam.'_

'_I care about Tommy more.' He didn't like the idea of responding to himself, but he needed the beast in him to just shut up. Drake took another step forward, his arms wrapped around his waist. _

"_Baby…" Drake reached up, trying to touch Adam's face. The singer gripped his ex's wrist, keeping those fingers from brushing against his skin. Drake had always set him on fire. He couldn't fall for that again._

_Adam bit down on his bottom lip at the look on Drake's face. He was so hurt. Drake looked like a lost puppy kicked by its master. But Adam had seen that look before on him. Drake would flash those pained eyes and pout that lip to get his way. And Adam had spent months giving everything and anything his baby had wanted. He couldn't do that anymore, not when his Glitterbaby was waiting for him at home. Not when there was someone else. Someone who knew, and accepted him. Adam knew that Drake would never understand, nor would he accept it. He'd probably go insane._

"_Adam… Please…" Drake whispered, stepping a little closer to Adam. The singer stared into those eyes that he once adored. He had to keep himself from shaking. He couldn't show Drake that he was holding back. But holding back what, exactly? Adam sighed, dropping Drake's wrist. He didn't want to risk breaking it._

"_Please what, Drake?" Adam said, crossing his arms over his chest and staring Drake in the eye. The brunette's lip trembled, and he stepped closer still. Adam backed away. He was trying to keep at least six inches between himself and Drake. At least. If he could have his way, there would be several feet between them._

"_Take me back." Drake whispered, tears brimming in his eyes. Adam blinked once, taking another step away and shaking his head. The brunette whimpered and stepped forward, following Adam. "Please, Adam! Please, I miss you…"_

_Adam took a deep breath, standing still as Drake walked closer. He clenched his jaw, looking down at his ex-lover. Those deep brown eyes were glistening, tears on the verge of spilling over. He had to keep his hands at his sides, clenched into fists. They were beginning to shake. And he was practically praying that Drake wouldn't look down and see them trembling. But it was getting dark, so even if he did, he probably wouldn't notice. _

"_That doesn't matter to me, Drake. You… broke my heart." Adam said. Technically, it was a lie, but Drake didn't know that. And he wasn't going to find out, either._

"_I'm so, so sorry about that, baby. Please… I've changed." Drake said, stepping closer, his hands clenching Adam's shoulders. The singer tried shrugging out of them, but Drake gripped them tighter, pulling Adam closer. Adam shuddered, the six inches suddenly becoming nothing more than two. It was making Adam uncomfortable. He could hear Drake's heart beating; it was a little too slow. Adam shook his head again, trying to shake Drake's hands off. The brunette whined, exhaling, and Adam smelled alcohol. Oh, great._

"_Drake, you're drunk." Adam murmured, bringing his hands up and resting them on Drake's, trying to pull them off. Being a vampire, and obviously stronger, Adam managed to pry Drake's hands away from him. The brunette whined again, stamping his feet like he was a five year old who was told 'no'. Essentially, right then, that's all Adam could see in his ex-lover._

"_No, I'm not…" Drake whispered, pressing closer to Adam, leaning up to him. Adam leaned away, cringing at the God awful alcohol that infected his breath. "Adam, I'm perfectly sober…" But Adam knew he was lying. _

"_No, Drake, you aren't." Adam hissed, pushing Drake away from him. The brunette's eyes darkened drastically, even in the growing darkness of the city. The brunette pulled out of Adam's grip and shoved the singer, pushing him into a wall. His hands clenched Adam's shoulders, and the singer feigned discomfort, but in reality, he barely felt it. Human's were so weak in comparison. _

"_Listen to me, Adam. I've been crying myself to sleep on the couch every night, trying desperately to get over you. Alex has given up trying to comfort me because, quite frankly, I don't want him anymore. I want you, baby. Just you." Drake's voice was low, heavy and the words were beginning to tumble over one another. It was becoming hard to understand and Adam had to hold his breath to keep himself from gagging in Drake's face. He hated the smell of alcohol in another person. Drinking it himself wasn't always a problem. But smelling it off of someone? Oh hell no._

"_Drake, I'm sorry I can't—" Drake pushed forward, pressing his alcohol tainted lips to Adam's. There was no teasing, no chance for Adam to shove the smaller man off of him. Drake's tongue shoved itself into Adam's mouth like a wave of nausea. But under that nausea, there was the familiar taste of Drake that made Adam shiver. The hidden mysteries that he never quite figured out before. He couldn't suppress the moan that trailed from his chest and into Drake's lips, nor could he stop the shivers that rolled down his spine like electrical charges._

_Drake heard and felt the sensations that Adam was enduring, and pressed himself closer to Adam, cramming his tongue further down the singer's throat. Adam's hands slid up Drake's shoulders, gripping them gently at first. He wasn't pulling the boy closer, nor was he pushing him away. He was just… Holding him there. And Drake was content. In fact, Adam could feel his excitement rushing. His heart beat was quickening, even in his drunk state. His skin was warm, his blood moving, pumping and coursing…_

_Blood. Pumping. Coursing. Quickening and flushing through the boy's system. Suddenly, there was a nab pushing at Adam's gut, twisting and turning the lock on the cage of the beast inside of him. Pulling it free, opening the door. Blood. Like awakening a starved being. An angry demon. Blood. Rich, enticing, pumping, coursing, pounding, beating. A fresh heart. A strong heart. Blood. Blood. _

_It was as if the drinks didn't matter. As if the time with Lynn at the bar didn't matter. The kill from yesterday didn't matter. Adam could feel the raging beast growling with hunger. There was a particular kind of taste that Adam loved. Drake. Tommy. Tommy more so than Drake. But there was a kind of burning need that Adam was feeling, boiling in his body like a disease. A sickness. His hands gripped a little tighter on Drake's shoulders, pulling him closer. His lips moved across Drake's cheek, down along his jaw line. The brunette was gasping, moaning incoherent phrases. But Adam wasn't hearing any of this. He was slipping._

'_Be what you are— what you know is your nature.'_

_He pressed his lips to the underside of Drake's jaw, breathing against the skin and scraping his teeth along the curve, trailing over the stubble and making the man shake. He turned, pressing Drake into the wall, dipping his head and kissing his favorite spot in the side of the neck; three fingertips down from the curve of the jawbone on the left side. His eyes were half open, everything sharp and intensified. The only sound he could hear was the pounding of Drake's heart beat, thrashing in his chest. The only thing he could smell was the richness and tenderness of blood. And sight? That spot on Drake's neck, the one he adored._

"_Nngh… Adam, please…" Drake whispered when Adam's lips disappeared briefly from that spot. He was a writhing hot mess in the singer's arms. He looked into Drake's eyes, and the haze of alcohol lifted from the brunette's features. His eyes went wide with fear and confusion, his jaw slack open, and Adam could see into those brown mirrors pools of red glistening back._

"_Goodnight, Drake." Adam grinned, his fingers threading into Drake's hair and pulling his head to the right, pressing his lips hard into the spot and his teeth digging in. He opened his jaw, ripping open the bite a little more, clenching and sucking hard. His tongue, on occasion, ran over the wound, making Drake shiver and thrash. Pained screams and pleasured moans rolled out of the brunette's mouth. But this was the back alleys of Los Angeles. No one would care out here._

There was no pleasure for him, afterward. No fleeting desire. He'd been so disgusted… Feeling that heartbeat beginning to fade. He couldn't believe that he had lost himself like that. He'd felt the life slip away before Drake when limp in his arms. The brunette had died. Probably initial shock. Because Adam hadn't finished draining him before his heart stopped. But when the singer had looked clearly— without the daze of bloodlust and desire acting as a film over his judgment— he'd been repulsed with himself. And he couldn't leave a nearly-drained body out in the middle of the street.

No, he'd pulled Drake into that nook where the wine-seller had been. She looked so happy, so grateful. He'd sped off before he could hear anything more sickening than the pleasured delights of a bottom dweller. Thus brought him here. Sitting in his car, trying to figure out what to do. He had to go home to his Glitterbaby, that was certain. But… could he tell Tommy… About this? He knew that he would have to, eventually. At some point. But now? No… He… He couldn't. He bit down on his bottom lip, groaning. First, he pissed Lynn off, and now he killed someone? Someone who he used to care so deeply about?

'_Adam, Adam, Adam…_' He hissed to himself. He wouldn't let that… that _beast_ talk to him right now. Probably not for a while, if he could manage it. He clenched his jaw, lifting his head back up and pulling back out into the street, heading home. He would keep this to himself for a while. Just until he could figure out the best way to tell Tommy. The best time to tell Tommy.

What if the police got involved? Surely, Alex would start to worry about Drake missing, even though the brunette had claimed that Alex had, somewhat, given up on him. The police probably would get involved. They'd ask Adam questions, maybe Tommy too, since they were both, at the very least, acquaintances with Drake. Adam, more so. Tommy, not so much. But still. The police would come around. And if Adam hadn't told Tommy by then, the blond would surely ask. And then he'd be fucked, for sure.

He had to tell before then. Before anyone else got involved or got hurt. Fuck, he wished Joshua was still around. The redhead would know what to do. '_But see, you abandoned him for Tommy. You abandoned a perfectly good, strong, capable mate for a human with pretty brown eyes and a sexy little body._' That beast. That voice was cooing in his ear like a tantalizing devil and it was driving him insane as he sped down the road at well beyond the speed limit. But see, he had a motto that he lived by. If the cops didn't see it, he didn't do it.

Wasn't that something George Carlin said? Whatever.

'_Think about it, Adam. You've killed your ex, you've pissed off your mother, and your best vampire friend hates your guts because you don't wanna fuck his brains out._' Shut. Up! Adam gripped the steering wheel harder in his hands, his already paled knuckles turning even whiter. He was surprised that he hadn't broken anything yet. Strong cars. God, he loved Porches. But he missed his Mustang, from before. That had been a nice car.

Maybe he should trade his Porche in.

'_Why are you thinking about cars, Adam? You've just killed a man. Sure, you've done it before. But you didn't even need to feed. You let the animal take control of you. That's murder for people like you. Murder, Adam._' He couldn't think about this now, not when he was pulling into the parking lot of his building. Wow, he was here, already? Shit.

He grabbed the roses and the wine, getting out of the car and locking it up. He felt full, tired, and just wanted to cuddle with his baby. He wanted to believe that everything was going to be alright, because, quite frankly, he wasn't so sure of the future. Sure, he could read minds if he was really connected with the person, but he couldn't see the future. Which really sucked, considering the position he was in. He crossed to the elevator, pushing the up button, waiting for the lift. The doors slid open with a ding, and he stepped inside.

The elevator rose slowly, and it felt like eternity before he reached his floor. But the walk through the hallway seemed to last even longer than that. One turn, then another, before the long, dreadful walk from one end to the other. Passing door after door, he yearned for the walk to be faster, but he couldn't move his feet any more than they were already traveling. It was like there were lead weights around his ankles. He sighed tiredly, thanking God and Jesus over and over again (despite not being a very religious person) as he turned the door knob, opening the door and stepping inside. There was a faint sound of television and he kicked off his shoes by the door. His feet were silent on the floors, and he turned the corner into the living-slash-dining area of the condo.

It was dark with the exception of the TV's light flashing on the screen. There was a slow rising lump on the couch, and Tommy's gentle snores filled the room, just under the voices from the screen. Adam smiled slightly to himself, setting the wine and the roses down on the dining room table. He crossed to the couch, leaning over the back of it and staring down at his baby, fast asleep underneath a large blanket that looked as if it had been pulled from the bedroom. Adam smiled, walking around and shutting off the television, before crossing back to Tommy. He slid his arms under his baby, lifting the lightweight blond into his arms. Tommy's head lolled against his shoulder, and Adam pecked the boy's forehead.

He carried Tommy towards their bedroom, kicking the door open quietly and setting his baby under the covers. Tommy had, at some point, changed into a pair of sweats and a t-shirt. Which meant Adam wouldn't have to strip him and put him into pajamas this time. Aww. Too bad. He really liked doing that, too. Shame. He pulled off his own clothes, before opening a drawer in his dresser and pulling out a pair of pajama pants. He slid them on, letting them rest at his hips before he slid under the blankets of the bed, pulling his Glitterbaby into his arms. Tommy's frame trembled, but a smiled tugged at his lips in his slip. Adam kissed his lover again, before closing his eyes, letting himself drift.


	24. You're Beautiful

**Saturday night, 11:26 PM**

Adam was acting different. Ever since I'd woken up Friday morning, he'd been strange. Off. I couldn't quite place it, but there was something… I didn't know, weird about him. Maybe I was just being paranoid or whatever. But something didn't feel right. He was tense, almost. I wasn't quite able explain it, but I tried to ignore it as best as possible. He'd been off with Monte all day yesterday and most of today, discussing the next gig we were to have; Gridlock. New York City. On New Year's. To be completely honest, I shook at the idea of it, because, it's fucking New York. And it's fucking New Year's. I couldn't fathom it fully. But maybe that was the best part about it.

I stood in the kitchen of the condo, fixing up two bowls of ice cream, one for myself and the other for Adam. Simple; vanilla. But it was one of the best. Adam had said once, I thought, that he preferred chocolate, but better to be safe than sorry. I shoved the lid back onto the container and tucked the ice cream back into the fridge, dropping the spoon into the sink and grabbing the two bowls, their respective spoons tucked safe inside the creamy goodness. I turned, heading back into the living room where Adam sat on the couch, watching the television without any enthusiasm what so ever. It was almost sad, actually.

I smiled as I plopped down beside him, and he wrapped his arm over my shoulder, pulling me against his body. I handed him his bowl of ice cream, and he muttered in thanks, before going back to staring at the show. I scooped out a tiny bite, sliding the spoon between my lips and savoring the treat. Now, normally, I'd probably be wrapping myself up in a blanket with a cup of coffee or something against Adam. But ice cream sounded fucking fantastic. And we had it. So I couldn't pass up the opportunity. I still wasn't quite used to his being a… Well, a vampire. It was strange to think about. So I didn't. He was simply Adam. Just another person…

Who happened to have freezing, hard skin and an unquenchable thirst for human blood. No big deal, right?

"So, how'd the meeting with Monte go?" I asked him after taking another bite of my ice cream and trying desperately to find something interesting about the show. But I couldn't even be sure what the hell was going on, let alone finding anything interesting. Maybe it was a soap opera or something. But what kind of a soap opera runs at eleven-thirty at night? Shit.

"Went well. We're performing FYE again." He said with a smile tugging at his lips. I smirked, nuzzling closer to him. Chills ran down my spine, but that was only because he was fucking cold.

"Really now? Why not, like, Music Again or something?" I asked. Yeah, I had the album on my iPod. So? I liked it. A lot, actually. But I wasn't gonna tell Adam that anytime soon.

"Because. Entertainment's the single right now, and that's what people want. To be honest, if I could, I'd rather do Fever so I could mouth rape you on that stage. But I can't." He said, and my face went scarlet, heating up at least ten degrees. He laughed, pressing his lips to my cheek. The temperature change burned but it also felt incredibly nice. He left several butterfly kisses along my cheek and my jaw, slipping down and kissing the side of my neck. I closed my eyes, moaning. I felt him pull the bowl of ice cream from my hands and set it down on the table as he shifted.

Suddenly, I was flat on my back, my hands clenching his shoulders as Adam's lips ravaged my skin. His mouth sent chills, but once the kiss was left, the skin burned with sensation. He wasn't biting me, but his touches made me feel energized… I dropped my mouth open a little wider when he nipped the side of my throat. Shivers rolled through my body and I trembled underneath him, my nails digging in through his shirt. He moaned, sucking harder on my neck, but not to the point that he was making any sort of incision.

His tongue trailed over the mark, and I shivered again, pulling him closer to me. My right leg curled around his waist, and I lifted my hips, grinding into his. Adam gasped, groaning softly into my neck. "Shit, Tommy…" He whispered, rocking his hips against mine. I could feel him pressed against the inside of my thigh. My breathing was ragged and irregular, my heart thrashing against his chest. His hands trailed down, slipping under my shirt. His icy fingers teased the skin and slid over my nipples, causing me to arch deeply. I wanted him. I wanted him badly. But it fucking figured— didn't it? It had to happen.

My phone rang on the coffee table.

I groaned, dropping my hands from his shoulders and leaning back, sighing. Adam frowned, looking over at the table and staring intently at my phone. "It's Alex." He said softly, his voice harboring a tone of annoyance, and I began to sit up. Adam glanced in confusion at me as I fumbled, trying to reach my phone. "Baby— just ignore it." He whispered, pressing his lips to the side of my neck again. I shivered, pausing for a moment.

"Adam, I haven't heard from him in weeks. It could be important." I mumbled, gently pushing him off of me before grabbing my phone and standing from the couch. "Hello?" I said into the phone, walking around the couch and towards the hallway of the condo.

"Tommy?" Alex's voice was pained, worried. I bit down briefly on my bottom lip before slipping into the bedroom and closing the door.

"Alex? What's wrong, man?" He sniffled, it sounded as if he was crying. I frowned. "Alex?"

"Drake's been missing since Thursday afternoon. He hasn't come home, he doesn't answer any of my calls or messages. I'm worried about him." I licked my lips and sighed, running my fingers through my hair. I didn't really want to hear about Alex's problems with Drake or the fact that the cheating fuck was missing. In fact, though I would never tell Alex this, I was kind of glad that the fucker was missing because it meant that he wasn't going to be a pain.

"Have you called anyone else about this?" I asked him, scratching the back of my neck slightly. I didn't really have much of an interest in trying to find Alex's cheating fuck toy, considering Adam and I were… Getting pretty heated, but he was still my friend. He was still a brother to me.

"No. I figured that he would just… Come home or call me, but he hasn't. No one's seen him. Tommy— could… Could you ask Adam if—"

"Alex, I guarantee you that Adam doesn't know. He's been with me for the past three days." I told him.

"Just… please?" I sighed.

"Alright, fine. I'll ask. But he's just going to tell me what I told you." I hung up. I loved Alex, but if the only reason he bothered to call was to whine about the disappearance of his boyfriend, then I didn't want to talk to him. But… I did have to wonder… Adam had been acting funny and Drake had disappeared. And it seemed around the same time too… No. Adam couldn't have anything to do with it. He wasn't a cold hearted person, unlike some people that I knew.

I opened the bedroom door and slipped out. Adam was still glued to his place on the couch, his eyes on the television. I doubted that he was really paying attention to it, considering the second I stepped into the living room slash dining area from the hallway, he turned his head towards me. His face looked paler, more so than the average color of his skin. I frowned, setting my phone down on the dining room table and crossing towards the couch.

"What's up?" He asked softly, turning his head back to the TV.

"Apparently Drake is missing," I said. "Alex is worried sick. Asked if you knew anything about it?" I walked around the couch, sitting down beside him. I crossed my legs under me, folding my hands in my lap and staring down at them. Adam didn't say anything for a moment. He just stared at the television blankly. Almost trying to ignore me.

"Adam?" He shifted, glancing over towards me but he didn't look at me. He kind of— looked at my hands before looking up at me. He stood up from the couch, taking the bowls of melted ice cream into the kitchen. I sighed softly, staying in my seat. He clinked around in the kitchen, running the water and taking forever. I bit down on my bottom lip, standing from the couch and turning. His back was to me, his hands in the counter, his head bowed down. I frowned.

"Adam?" My heart pounded in his chest, and he straightened a little, turning towards me.

"Yeah?"

"Do you know something about Drake's disappearance?" I didn't want to think that he might, but he was acting strangely…

"…No." He said after a moment. His eyes were cold and his jaw was locked in a frown. I leaned against the frame of the arch way that separated the kitchen and the dining room. He turned away from me again, going back to cleaning the bowls. I sighed, walking towards him and placing a hand on his shoulder. He felt tense underneath my palm.

"Adam— if something happened, you know I'm not going to be mad or judge you." He didn't relax any. He didn't say anything. I gripped his shoulder tighter and pulled, turning him around so that he faced me. I needed to know if he was hiding something… "Adam. Just… Tell me the truth. Do you know about Drake's disappearance?" I stared at him, unrelenting and serious. His eyes flickered back and forth between mine.

He bit down on his bottom lip for a moment, looking away and pulling his shoulder out of my grip. "No." He said, turning back to the sink and shutting off the water. I sighed in frustration, following him out of the kitchen. He was walking fast, as if to ignore me. I reached out, his name beginning to roll off my tongue. My fingers brushed his shoulder and suddenly he was gone— he was halfway across the room, on the other side of the couch, in an instant. I stumbled, grabbing onto the edge of the dining room table to keep myself from falling. I looked up at him, barely seeing him in the darkness of the condo.

"Adam, just because you're a vampire doesn't mean you get to escape this conversation." I told him, breathing hard as adrenaline coursed through my veins. He looked away, before grabbing the remote off of the coffee table and shutting off the television. The condo was suddenly pitch dark. I inhaled slowly, licking my lips and clenching the edge of the coffee table. "Adam… This isn't funny."

"You can't tell him." I heard him speak, but I could tell where his voice was at. I tried to keep myself as relaxed as possible, and despite the fact that Adam was my boyfriend, the knowledge that I was in a dark condo with a _vampire_ overruled the whole relationship aspect. I frowned a little, inhaling slowly but shakily.

"What do you mean?" I asked. The condo itself was silent as the grave. But I felt cold. Extremely cold. As if he was right… next to me… I turned to my left and right, but I didn't see him anywhere. It was still a little too dark for my eyes.

"You can't tell Alex anything. You have to promise me." I froze a little, feeling his breath on my neck. I spun, but he was already gone.

"What are you talking about, Adam?" I asked him. I felt a cool brush against my arm, and it vanished.

"Drake disappeared… And it was my fault…" My heart was pounding in my ears, my head was spinning. Adam…? "I was on my way home, Thursday… He ran into me. He tried throwing himself at me, begging me to take him back…" His breath kissed the back of my neck. I shivered, spinning in a circle, trying to see if I could find him. But the second I would see his shadow, it would disappear again.

"He kissed me… I could feel his want, his desire. But something… something within me latched on to the old thirst I had for him… He was like you— sweet, tangy, irresistible." Tremors shook my spine and I turned again, trying to find him. I got a glimpse of his icy eyes from the small trickles of light coming in through the windows. But they disappeared, just as everything else had. The cold touches and breaths were coming more frequently, but I could never catch him.

"I couldn't resist it. I couldn't fight the monster in me to keep him alive and tell him to go home… I… I gave in too soon… And I'll never forgive myself for that." I was shaking head to toe, and I felt his hands, colder than normal, on my shoulders. His hips were pressed against me from behind, his lips by my left ear. I froze against him, trying to breathe evenly.

"Will you forgive me, Tommy? Will you forgive a monster?" Even in the seductive tone of his voice, there was fear that I would not. There was fear and worry. I turned in his arms, looking up at him. I couldn't see his face, but I could see his shadow, and more importantly, I could see his eyes. His beautiful, bright blue eyes… Looking more purple… Dear God.

"Adam… Of course I'll forgive you. You're not a monster," those eyes brightened, and I knew he was smiling. "But I have to tell Alex—" My back was slammed against a wall, Adam's cold hands tight on my shoulders. I winced, his breath fanning over my face.

"No. You can't." He hissed, harsh and defined.

"Adam—" his hands tightened, and I cringed.

"Tommy, how would you explain that your boyfriend is a fucking vampire?" I bit down on my bottom lip, fear pounding in my veins.

"I—"

"Please, Glitterbaby…" He pressed his lips to mine, his hands shifting and cupping my face. I trembled , kissing him back. "Please…" He whispered. I reached up, fisting my hands into his shirt and pulling him closer to me, pressing my lips to his. My tongue split the cold seam of his lips, sliding into his mouth and battling him. I lost, quite miserably, but I didn't care. Moans were pouring out of my throat and down his, and my hands uncurled from the fabric and wound deep into his hair.

"Okay… okay, I promise…" '_I promise I won't tell_.'

'_Thank you_.'

His lips left an icy trail down my neck that was set on fire the second the contact was gone. I tilted my head back, moaning and shaking. His fingers curled in the hem of my shirt, pulling it up and over my head. His fingers trailed over my skin, making me quake and moan. He looped his fingers into my belt loops, pulling me around the archway and into the hall, kissing me and guiding me towards our bedroom. My heart was going crazy in my chest and I raked my fingers through his hair, pulling as hard as he could.

Adam growled as I pulled, before pushing the door open and swinging me around and throwing me onto the bed. I was sprawled on my back, the only thing in my line of sight was Adam's silhouette. He leaned over me, holding my wrists down at my sides as his lips ravaged my neck and my chest. I arched up into him, my eyes rolling into the back of my head from pleasure. He nipped the skin with his teeth, but not hard enough to draw any blood.

"Aah…" I moaned, my hands clenching into the sheets. He pressed his lips to mine, his hands fumbling at the button and zipper of my jeans. I trembled, breathing hard every time his mouth left mine, even for the briefest of moments. He tugged, pulling my jeans away and tossing them to the floor. I reached up, grabbing his shirt and pulling it over his head. He ducked down, kissing me hard and dirty as we wrestled him out of the fabric and his own pants. He was cold as fuck, but my skin was burning, so it was a nice contrast.

Adam fumbled, pulling away for a moment and reaching into a side drawer, pulling out a small, round tube. I frowned, before wanting to be slapped. I should have known what it was the second he reached for it, but my excitement made me naïve. I shivered, blinking a few times and licking my lips. He uncapped the tube and squeezed the contents onto his fingers, smearing them slowly before looking at me. "Are you ready?" He asked. I inhaled slowly, and nodded once.

He nudged my legs apart slowly, and I felt a cold, prodding digit pressing into me. I tensed, shivering. I was at a cross between moaning and yelping. I couldn't tell if it was good or bad. Adam paused for a moment to kiss me, as if to reassure me. I nodded again, and he pushed the digit in farther. My mouth dropped and I gasped as it slid in deeper, hitting a spot within me that made me arch and cry out in the dark bedroom. A soft moan fell off of Adam's tongue and he kissed me again, breathing into me.

His finger rolled in a cold wave inside of me, sliding in and out, curling on occasion. I gnawed on my bottom lip, my hands fisted in the sheets as my back arched like the bow. My erection was pressed against my stomach, throbbing and angry at the lack of attention. I wanted to touch so damn badly, but something in me was saying no, not yet. I clenched my jaw, moaning and gasping every few seconds. I'd never felt anything like this before. True, I'd never been with a guy before either, but still…

A second finger slid into me, scissoring and working with the first. I yelped, moaning like a bitch in some cheesy porno. It was rather embarrassing, to be honest, but Adam didn't seem to mind. In fact, he kind of enjoyed it. Like, a lot. He nipped the side of my neck, a little harder than before while easing a third finger into me. I nearly came. I was sure that if he touched me in any way while adding that third finger and biting me, I would have come all over his stomach and chest. It would have been embarrassing. So, so embarrassing.

"God, Tommy…" He whispered in my ear, removing his fingers. I moaned, trembling and relaxing as they disappeared. But my gut told me the emptiness wouldn't be lasting for long. I heard the slick of skin on skin, accompanied with a few soft pants off of Adam's tongue. I blinked, looking at him as his non-lube covered hand cupped my face, his thumb tracing into my cheek. "Are you… sure about this, Glitterbaby?" I swallowed the lump in my throat.

"I'm sure." He nodded once, kissing me again.

"You're so beautiful…" He whispered into my lips. "So, so beautiful." My heart pounded in my ears as he eased himself into me. The stretch was incredibly painful, despite his work of opening me up. I arched, tilting my head back and crying out, whining and panting. He was going as slow as he could, but that didn't mean it hurt any less. I bit down on my lip, shaking as I dug my nails into his ice, cold shoulders. Despite his entire body being an ice block, he felt warm in me. But that could have been for the fact that I was heating his skin up so it felt normal…

"Aaha! Mmm… fuck." I hissed, lifting my legs a little and wrapping them around his waist. Much more comfortable than before. The pain was unimaginable but the pleasure was devouring it like a fire. A pleasurable burn growing in the pit of my stomach, being stoked and growing larger with every thrust in from Adam. His hands were on my hips, squeezing tightly. I knew I would have bruises the next morning, that was for sure.

"Oh, T-Tommy…" He stuttered, burying his face into my neck. He felt cold for a moment, but the hot sweat on my skin warmed him, and he wasn't so cold anymore. His lips were pressing firm into a sensitive spot, and I tensed. He thrust into me and I wailed. Okay, so… tensing up in sex? Best idea ever.

"Fuck, Adam… nngh, haa— ahh!" I sounded like a whore. I probably looked like one too. Eyes squeezed shut in ecstasy, my legs wrapped tightly around Adam's waist for dear life, pushing him deeper and deeper every time… My hands were wound tight into his hair, pulling and clenching. I needed a life-line.

"T-Tommy… I… I need…" I didn't care what he was trying to tell me. What he needed. I needed him. I needed him to keep moving, keep… _God._

"Yes!" That was perhaps the last coherent sentence I made before he bit me.

I felt his teeth slide into my throat, making a crescent incision and pulling it open. My back snapped upward like a rainbow, my chest molding against his. My jaw was dropped in a silent moan, my eyes rolled into the back of my head and refusing to come back. One hand dropped from his hair and I dug my nails into his cold skin, raking them down. He groaned against me, rotating his jaw and opening the bite. Tremors of ecstasy rolled down my spine and shot through my nerves. There was a soft burn forming in the side of my neck, but I wasn't very aware of it. I was aware of the pulsing of my blood and my heart.

I was aware of the burning desire buried deep in Adam's being. It was like through this bite I was in touch with a beast inside of him. A beast with dark eyes and a seductive smirk. To be honest, it frightened me at first. But I found it intriguing. A demon of sorts with all the knowledge of the darkness as well as the ways of cunning. Intelligence and feeling. Well, feeling was more like desire. Lust. That's all I felt from this beast; lust. Lust for blood. Lust for sex. Lust for warmth and life and freedom.

But from Adam? My Adam, my beloved? Bright blue eyes, a sincere smile, and almost a heavenly glow like angel's wings. This is what he wanted to be. And all he felt? Love. And with love, fear. The fear that he would take this too far. The fear that he would hurt me. The fear that something would happen to me. The joy that I knew and accepted him for all that he was. The joy that I was his and no one else's and that he was mine. The joy for music. The passion, the need. Not lust. Love. Fear. Need. Joy. Love, love, love…

"Adam…" I moaned, and he pulled away from my neck, gasping and panting. The connection was lost, and I neither saw the beast nor the image of the angel. I wondered if I imagined it all. I squeezed my eyes shut, crying out. "Adam!"

"Tommy…" He moaned. He reached up, his fingers sliding from base to tip of my erection, and everything went fuzzy with white. My body convulsed, and I felt a cool liquid surging through my body. I gasped, my eyes half open as I stared up at him, one hand in his hair the other digging into his shoulder. He slid out of me, another yelp and a moan prying themselves from my throat before he collapsed on top of me. We were a sweaty, stick mess (though that was entirely my fault on both accounts).

I was shaking due to a variety of reasons. Shaking from having sex for the first time with him. My first time with a guy… And he happened to be famous. A fantastically talented singer. Oh, and a vampire. Bonus. Shaking from the surge from being bitten. I'd felt it before, but this was… This was nothing like the bite Adam had given me at the club, which felt like an entirely different universe from this one. Shaking from the things I had seen because of the bite. The demon, the monster in him that he so felt he was entirely. But also— what he wanted to be. Pure. Passionate. Not a creature that lusted for such sinister and sinful things.

He grabbed the blanket, cleaning our stomachs off. He helped me reposition myself so that I wasn't sprawled sideways across the bed, but rather with my head on the pillow, the sheets and blankets draped over me. At that moment I wanted to shove them away because I was hot, but the longer Adam's arms were around me, the colder I got. He pressed his lips to my forehead, then my cheeks and finally my lips. I moved my neck, feeling a twinge of pain. I winced.

"One second, Glitterbaby." He whispered, bending his head and licking the side of my neck. I shivered, moaning as his tongue flicked inside the bite. But the twinge of pain began to vanish. I reached up, touching the side of my neck. A spot about half the size of my palm was at least half as warm as the rest of my skin, if not colder.

"Great, now I've got a cold patch on the side of my neck. Thanks, Adam." I joked, smiling in the darkness. He laughed, but it sounded flat.

"I couldn't help it." He said. I frowned, licking my lips a little as I shifted in his arms, pressing myself closer to him.

"When you bit me… I saw something… Like, a beast…" Adam tensed against me, before kissing the side of my head gently.

"Don't worry about it tonight, Glitterbaby. Get some rest. I'll tell you in the morning, okay?" I nodded once, burying my face into his chest as his arms tightened around me. I was suddenly very, very thankful for the blankets and the sheets that were draped over us, for I knew without them I would be trembling with the cold.

"I love you." I told him.

"I love you, too, Tommy."


	25. Red Head

**Tuesday night, 11:47 P.M.**

He sat on his living room couch, staring blankly at the ugly carpet that was spread out as the floor. The television was on but he wasn't paying any attention to it. It was more background noise than anything. How long had he been sitting here, exactly? Just staring? Too long, perhaps. His stomach's been growling for a while but he's been ignoring it. Just like the television. He's hungry but he doesn't want to eat anything right now.

If anyone were to see him, they'd think he was pathetic. Just sitting there. But he had nothing better to do. There was nowhere to go and he was afraid that if he left then… Then his baby might come home. And if his baby came home when he wasn't there… Who knows. So he'd been waiting. But waiting wasn't doing him any good. If anything, it was making his depression worse because he would wait and wait and look at the clock and see that hours had gone by and still no change.

He didn't want to, but he was on the verge of giving up.

And he had every right to. His baby… His lover had been missing for almost a week… No calls. No messages. Not a word that he was okay or if he was coming home. This was tearing him apart from the inside out. Was it too much to ask that all he wanted was to see his baby walk through the door with a big smile on his face? Maybe it was. He didn't know and it made him want to cry. He called Tommy, but the blond assured him that he didn't know and that… That Adam wasn't involved. But a part of him didn't believe that. A part of him didn't believe anything anymore. All he wanted was Drake back in his arms and in his life. And if after a week, this was how he was feeling, he wasn't sure he'd be able to wait any longer.

He sighed softly, changing the angle of his gaze down to his hands, which were sitting in his lap. Maybe he needed to get away. That sounded like a good idea. But at the same time it didn't. He didn't want to move but he knew that he probably should anyway. Stretch his legs, maybe go get something decent to eat. When was the last time he actually ate a real meal? He can't remember anymore. These days had been passing by in a blur. How many has it been? Five? Six?

He shook his head, before slowly standing from the couch. Well, that was progress. He shuffled, slow and awkward at first, towards the front door where his shoes sat. He pressed his palm into the door, leaning on it as he shoved his feet into his shoes, adjusting them so that they rested comfortably. He didn't care about the laces. They were fine; a little loose though. Whatever. He sighed again, reaching over and grabbing his keys from the small side table next to the couch. They hadn't moved since he came home last Wednesday evening… When Drake was still home…

He had half a mind to kick his shoes back off and go back to waiting, but something told him to open the door and leave. And so he left. He locked his apartment and walked down the catwalk towards the flight of stairs, down towards the parking lot. His mind wandered and his feet carried him mechanically down the concrete steps towards his beat up car. It was old but it got him places, and, perhaps, today it would take him to an answer. Something to make his life a little better. Whether to Drake or not, he had to have a little hope, right?

Alex unlocked his car and slipped into the driver's seat, sitting for a moment with the door propped open just a little. Was this a good idea? '_Just drive. It doesn't matter where you go. Just… Go. Get away from here. Go visit someone. Maybe Tommy's— no. Where does he even live now? Probably with Adam… But where the fuck does Adam live?_' He shook his head, shutting the door and sliding the key into the ignition of the car. He turned the key slowly, his car rumbling to a loud, old life. Buckling into his seat, Alex put the car into reverse, pulling out of the spot and out of the apartment complex, into the streets.

'_This is crazy, Alex. What if you go out and find Drake out somewhere with someone else? What if he hasn't really left Adam? Would that mean he's two-timing you and Adam's two-timing Tommy? Well, you'd have something in common, other than being gay._' The musings that were rolling through his mind weren't helping his situation at all. He wanted to bash his head against the steering wheel of his car.

He spun the steering wheel of his car, driving down the ever busy streets of Los Angeles. Maybe he'd go to a bar or something, to kill time that had previously been spent waiting in a lonely apartment. Maybe he'd be able to get drunk and forget things for a few hours. Maybe meet up with some cute little twink who'd take care of his problems. But he shook his head as he drove, closing his eyes briefly and sighing. No. Not even a cute boy could solve his problems. He needed Drake back… He loved him too much to do something like that.

He swallowed the lump in his throat. He tried listening to music earlier, but the songs were too sappy or sad and he just couldn't take it. He couldn't take anything really right now. Maybe all of this was irrational and ridiculous, but it was how he was feeling and he couldn't help it. He stopped at a red light, resting his forehead on the steering wheel. He wanted to cry. His chest felt like it was caving in and suffocating his heart into a black hole. It was painful; excruciatingly so.

He stepped on the gas, rolling forward after the light turned green. He passed club after bar after bar after club before turning the wheel again, changing lanes and heading farther into downtown. He licked his lips a little bit, mechanically changing lanes and rolling down streets and making turns. He didn't even know where he was going anymore. He was just driving and driving, hoping that maybe he'd find something worthwhile in this trip. '_But what's worthwhile when the only thing worthwhile won't come back?_'

He glanced ahead, down the road, seeing a bright sign lit up in the dark night and decided to take a change. He changed lanes again, swerving to the right-most side of the road before turning into the lot. It was pretty packed, and it was a wonder he was able to find a spot at all, but somehow he did. He spun the wheel, swerving into the spot before killing the engine. There was a kind of excitement in his body. Maybe there would be some promise here.

He opened the door, stepping out before shutting it and locking up his car. He shoved his keys into his pocket, glancing at the door. People were rushing in and out like a crazy mob. He sighed, shaking his head and walking across the lot towards the doors. He was let in with ease and without a second glance. Here he was a nobody, and that was all he really cared to be for the time being.

The music was a little too loud and a little too fast for Alex's taste, but he didn't really care. It didn't have words and that was what mattered. He didn't want something connecting his heart to more ache. He just wanted to forget for a while. And something in the back of his mind whispered that this was the perfect place. Something was saying with a smile that, in this club— The Mayan— everything would become right.

Alex bit down on his bottom lip, looking around at the club. Walls packed with sweaty, dancing bodies and the bar was loaded with people ordering and downing drinks. Serving people walked by wearing black and white with touches of brilliant greens or reds, holding trays of drinks and going to the booths tucked in the corners. People were walking on the balconies and catwalks of the second floor. His eyes widened. This place was huge.

He walked further into the club, sticking close to the bar as best he could without being shoved out of the way. He inhaled slowly, turning his attention towards the bar and taking a seat as soon as one became available. The tenders were all busy with their customers, with the exception of one. His eye caught that of a slender, tall male with porcelain pale skin. He looked chiseled out of perfection. Deep red hair with blackened tips, equally deep brown eyes. Alex froze, staring at the pale man for a moment as he came over before tearing his gaze away. His heart was pounding.

The redhead leaned against the edge of the bar, a small smile on his thin lips. "What can I get you, sir?" He asked, his voice just above the edge of the music, and the tone was sweet. Alex looked up at him again, smiling a little.

"Your strongest." He replied over the music. The redhead smiled a little wider, exposing pearly white teeth to Alex.

"Really now? What caused the need for something that'll knock you flat on your ass in one shot?" The redhead had a smile on his face that sent strange chills down Alex's spine. But there was something in the gleam of the bartender's eye that intrigued him just a little bit, and he shook his head, feeling the bite of depression creeping into the back of his throat again.

"Boyfriend's been missing for almost a week… And I've got a bad feeling his ex is involved with it…" Alex mumbled just over the music, though no one else seemed to hear him but the strange and beautiful bartender. The redhead nodded once before turning to a different tender and saying something into his ear that Alex couldn't quite catch. The other tender nodded once, and the redhead turned back towards Alex.

"Come with me." The redhead motioned to the other side of the bar. Alex stood from his seat, following the redheaded bartender. The pale man lead him towards the other side of the club, to a flight of stairs that shot up to the overhead balconies and catwalks. Alex swallowed the lump of fear that was sitting in the back of his throat and he followed the beautiful man, whose name he had not yet learned but assumed he'd find out soon enough.

He climbed the stairs, the redhead only two steps ahead of him and he pulled himself to the balcony, following close but not terribly close behind. His heart hammered in his chest, too fast for his liking but he wasn't really paying any attention to it, honestly. He turned a corner, keeping close to the redhead as the bartender guided him down a long hallway of doors. He frowned a little to himself, glancing around every now and then before the man stopped and opened the last door on the left, revealing a decent sized room with plush white carpet, leather couches and throw rugs of golds, greens and blues. The walls were a rich cherry color, a small mini bar tucked into a corner.

Alex stopped in the doorway as the man went to one of the couches, motioning for him to come inside. Alex shut the door quietly, inhaling slowly, a frown set in place on his lips. He wasn't so sure of this but he'd come this far already, so why back out now? Maybe all this man wanted was to hear his story, give some advice, serve as some comfort for him? That'd be nice. But his heart still ached for Drake's arms, lips and love…

"Sit down, I won't bite," the man said with a smile, patting the seat next to him on the couch. Alex sighed, nodding once and easing onto the leather cushion. "What's your name?" The redhead asked, his voice soft.

"Alex." He said without hesitation, and wondered for a moment why he had been so eager to drop his name. The redhead smiled again, holding out a pale hand.

"I'm Joshua." Alex eyed Joshua's hand for a moment before taking it, and nearly withdrawing immediately. Joshua's skin was ice cold. "Sorry… Hands are cold, I know. You handle ice and beverages for six hours straight and that tends to happen." Joshua said with a coy smirk, withdrawing his hand and letting it rest on his thigh.

"I-It's fine, it just… Startled me, that's all." Alex commented. Joshua nodded once, the smile never fading from his thin lips.

"Understandable. So, tell me… About your boyfriend? Why do you think his ex is involved?" Joshua asked. Alex glanced over at the redhead, seeing concern and the want to help in the deep brown eyes. But for a moment he wondered if they were too deep, too pretty… They reminded him…

They reminded him of Drake's eyes.

Alex looked away for a moment, knotting his fingers together and debating on telling this strange Joshua. But when he looked back up he nearly melted. Those eyes were too damn beautiful. Too damn caring and concerning and all Alex wanted was to have his baby back. Maybe if he told the brief tale of his heartache, Joshua could help him… There was no harm in trying, right?

"Well… My boyfriend, Drake, was dating someone else originally when he met me. But…" Alex paused for a light chuckle, "he always said it was like love at first sight with me. I never saw what was so special, but I liked him and he, obviously, really liked me and we just hit it off." But Alex caught something. At the mention of Drake's name, Joshua's eyes appeared to light up with a kind of light that was strange and intriguing, even if a little frightening at first, too.

"But… His ex was so sure that they were still together even when Drake and I started dating and getting serious. I told him time and time again that he just needed to tell Adam the truth and—"

"Adam?" Joshua inquired, his voice, perhaps, a little higher than originally. Alex blinked, nodding once.

"Yeah, Adam Lambert. You know him?" A distant look that gleamed in Joshua's eye, along with the curve of a smile told Alex plenty enough that the bartender knew Adam. Alex, personally, never met the man and didn't have any intention to, so he couldn't be one to judge other than that he was his baby's ex.

"Yeah…" Joshua laughed. "Adam and I have… quite a history." There was something in the tone of Joshua's voice that made Alex tremble a little, and he had an urge to get up and leave. But Joshua's eyes cleared and he smiled again, a not-so-creepy smile but one that actually looked meaningful, to an extent.

"So, you think Adam's behind Drake's sudden… disappearance?" Joshua asked, and Alex could only nod, the bitter feeling of rage pooling on the back of his tongue. Joshua smiled again, "I can help you. But… You're going to have to trust me. And do exactly what I say, alright?"

Alex looked over the perfection of Joshua's face, a frown on his own face. There had to have been a catch. Some sort of trick, a hidden deal. There was no way this… This bartender would be so willing to help him find his boyfriend and seek a sort of vengeance on the suspected person. Though the smirk on Joshua's face gave him chills, the glint in his eye seemed convincing enough that this was as true as he had made it sound. No catch? Let's see…

"What's the catch?" Alex asked, his voice quivering gently. Joshua threw his head back and laughed heartily before looking back to Alex.

"No catch. But one little added bonus…" Alex frowned, shaking his head in confusion, and Joshua leaned forward, his cold lips beside Alex's left ear. "Immortality."

Alex drew back. "Immortality? That's impossible, you can't promise something like that!" He said, his eyebrows drawn together and disbelief etched onto his face. Joshua just smiled, his pearly white teeth gleaming.

"Is it impossible? Truly?" Joshua lifted his hand, curling a cold finger under Alex's chin. As if pulled by an invisible thread, Alex leaned forward, unable to breathe as Joshua drew him close, their lips brushing in an ice-fire kiss. Alex's eyes slipped shut and a gently moan rolled off of his lips into Joshua's mouth. The redhead's tongue passed between his teeth, burning a little in his mouth, but that didn't stop their kiss. Alex reached up with greedy hands, threading his fingers into Joshua's mane of hair and pulling sharply on it. The bartender groaned, one palm— frozen— cupping Alex's cheek, the other curled around his hip and bringing him closer still.

Alex felt like he was on fire, the starting point of the explosion in his lips. He moaned loudly as Joshua sucked on his lower lip, and he dug his nails into Joshua's shoulders through his shirt, clenching onto him for dear life. He'd never felt this way through a kiss before. Not even Drake made him feel this alive and one fire, though it was often very close. But something about Joshua left him on edge and wary. But the paranoia of this pale man was slipping slowly away with every second spent in a kiss.

Suddenly, Joshua broke the kiss, leaving Alex panting for breath he didn't know he'd lost this whole time. His fingers were still cold, stroking his face delicately as if he were made of thin glass. Joshua's eyes, which Alex clearly remembered being a beautiful brown now appeared more red-brown… His heart pounded in his chest as Joshua's fingers left a burning trail down his throat.

"Will you give yourself over to a new life to find the answers you've always wanted?" Joshua asked, his dialect poetic and ancient, almost. Alex blinked once, still breathing hard. A new life? What did Joshua mean? But… Answers. Drake. Adam… Joshua promised him answers. Would he be a fool to turn him down?

"Yes." Alex said, and Joshua grinned a kind of grin that made Alex's heart stop. Joshua bent down kissing him hard on the lips again before pulling away and tilting Alex's head to the side, exposing his neck. Alex frowned at him, shivering at Joshua's icy embrace as the redhead bent his head, pressing cold lips to his skin before feeling burning daggers shooting into his skin and ripping open his soul.


	26. Overcome Anything

**Wednesday morning, 11:26 A.M.**

"Hey," Adam whispered, coming up next to me and holding a cup of coffee out to me. I smiled, taking the hot mug from him and holding it gingerly in my hands. He plopped down next to me, pulling me into his arms. Cold as ever but he was also quite comfortable; his brown sweater serving as a nice layer of padding between my back and his icy chest. His arms rested lazily around my waist, my head tucked gently underneath his chin for a moment before he pressed a kiss to the back of my head. I blushed a little, turning my head and kissing his cheek.

"Hey Babyboy." I said with a smile and he, too, smiled back at me. The television was playing some rerun of Law and Order, and my mug felt nice between my palms. I glanced at the television for a moment, not really caring about what was playing. My head was spinning with things that had been on my mind since Saturday night… When Adam and I had made love. What had been that beast thing that I had seen in him? He said that we would talk about it another time, didn't he?

"What'cha thinking about, baby?" He asked me, sensing my distraction, I guess. I turned my head slightly to the side, acknowledging that I'd heard him before taking a drink of my coffee. I leaned forward and set it down on the table before reclining back in his arms again, my fingers trailing over the backs of his hands, which rested on my stomach. I glanced at the inside of my wrist, looking at the paled scar.

"This is just like the marks on my neck, from the times you've bitten me… Not in shape, per say, but the coldness and paleness. What causes that?" I asked him, turning my head to look up at him. He blinked once, sighing softly.

"The contact of venom to the structure of tissue. It effectively kills the cells and reconstructs them so that they're virtually indestructible." He mumbled softly. For a moment, I wondered if it was a good idea to ask, but the thoughts had been pestering me since Saturday night and I figured it didn't really hurt to ask…

"Virtually?" I questioned, keeping my head towards him. He nodded, his normally bright blue eyes more sullen, dark. Obviously, there were going to be parts of the conversation that were going to be particularly painful for him to talk about. But… We were a couple. We were committed to each other. Wasn't there some kind of an agreement in there that entitled me to learning a little more about my vampire boyfriend?

A smirk tugged at Adam's lip but he didn't comment as to why it would be there. Instead, he answered my question, "Virtually as in blades, guns and most other mortal weapons meant for harm will not damage you. The skin cannot be broken by anything mundane, to say the least. But other vampire teeth or nails can cut into skin as if it were soft butter." He explained, and I nodded once, looking away from him and back down to the scar against my wrist. I frowned, reaching up and brushing my fingers to the ones on my neck, shivering lightly at the memory of his lips pressed into my skin.

"So… Tell me… If you don't mind, about your history…" I mumbled. I didn't turn to look at him, but he shifted me in his arms so that I was still sitting in his lap but I didn't need to turn so far as to look at him when I wanted. His face was etched with all kinds of emotions, as if he was trying to piece together the best way to start the stories. I knew that there was going to be a lot for him to tell, but I wanted him to try.

"Where do you want me to start? There's a lot of things I could cover easily without having to dig too far." He commented with a brilliant, sly smile. I felt my face heat up but I shook my head, chuckling. I bit down on my bottom lip before deciding.

"When you were changed— how did it happen?" I asked him. Adam's eyes went a little distant for a moment as he seemed to sift through the memories. A small, sad smile played itself upon his lips and he tightened his arms around me, holding me close to his icy chest.

"It was about three years ago. Not too long; I'm quite young in comparison to most vampires. But I was dating my lover at the time— Brad. At first his cold skin and perfect demeanor was a little unsettling, but he eventually told me what he was and… Well, naturally, I didn't believe him. But I trusted him enough and I trusted that he knew what he was doing at all times, so I let him bite me. He didn't change me— no, I was too young, in his mind, for that. But he gave me this," Adam said softly, pulling down on the neck of his sweater and the shirt beneath it to reveal a crescent shaped bite right on his collar bone. I reached up, slowly, letting my fingers graze over it. It was a rigid scar, cold and firm to the touch.

"The burn of the venom was what, kind of, forced me to believe what I thought to be utterly impossible. And, yeah, I was terrified of the fact that he was a vampire, but he assured me that he wouldn't change me unless I was in a life-threatening situation…" Adam's voice trailed off, and I wondered, for a brief moment, if there had been a time he'd been in such a situation and Brad had changed him. But there was a part of me saying that, no, it was unlikely…

"So… What happened?" I asked, wondering if it was right to pry. Adam just smiled softly again, as if from an inside joke before answering my question.

"We were… Messing around one night, getting heated together. He asked if he could drink from me— much like I asked of you the other night, while we were making love," a blush crossed my face at the memory and Adam smirked at me. "He… Neglected to inform me that he hadn't fed and, when he bit me, he lost control of himself." Adam's eyes grew dark with the memory and I felt chills running down my spine, and not because I was sitting in his arms.

"I was feeling lightheaded— I told him to stop. I begged him to stop. The burning of the venom was becoming agonizing and I wasn't even aware that he had stopped because it was hurting so badly. When he realized what he'd done, it was already too late to try to reverse the process. So he held me in his arms until I changed, and when I came to… He was gone. He'd left a note, apologizing… Saying he'd never forgive himself for it…"

I stared up at Adam for a long time, my eyes flicking back and forth between his. I didn't know what to say for the longest time, or, even if I _should_ say anything at all. My mouth felt dry and my heart was slamming into my chest. I looked away, curling close to Adam, tucking my head under his chin. His eyes were distant as his arms tightened around me, pulling me up against his icy body. I breathed against his neck, curling my fingers into the fabric of his sweater.

"I'm sorry," I whispered to him. His body shook with a soft chuckle, but it was flat, almost forced.

"It's not your fault. I won't lie and say I don't miss him, because I do. I miss him every day. Apart from being my boyfriend, he was one of my best friends, too. It wasn't until a year ago that my heart let go of him, and I found Drake while I was on Idol… I decided never to tell him about what I was. I figured the less people knew, the better off they would be. But… I was wrong." He commented. I glanced down at his hands, sighing softly. Part of me felt guilty that I'd asked him something so personal, but part of me was also glad that I did. I felt like I understood a little more than I did before. But I wanted to know even more…

"How long.. does it take? For a full change to occur?" I asked, not looking up at him. Adam inhaled slowly, shifting one of his arms to run his fingers through my hair. I purred gently against his chest, letting my eyes slip shut as he spoke.

"Venom acts as a sort of poison. From its injection site— usually the wrists, neck or the groin— it spreads through the blood stream until it reaches the heart and the brain. It shuts them down, even so much as eating away at them a little. But, apart from being a poison, it's also a stimulant, to say the least. It shuts down the organs, rendering the once-human "dead", though it kick starts the brain back to life. The venom reconstructs the strength of your bones and your skin, but everything else is rather dormant. There is no beating to the heart. You have no real use for any of your other organs, as you don't need regular food to survive." Adam explained, though I knew he was not done.

"The length of a change depends, more or less, on the person who is changing. If I remember correctly, my change lasted all of ten minutes; six to die, four to be, in a sense, brought back. For some people, I've heard, it takes twenty minutes, thirty, and hour, several hours. The adrenaline from being bitten, from trying to get Brad to stop, it was all making my heart beat a lot faster, pumping the blood at an accelerated rate. If I'd been calm about it, or in a sedated state, it would have taken a lot longer.

"It's also dependent on the amount of blood a person has. If someone's been injured or has, recently, lost a lot of blood for some apparent reason, then that affects the length as well. Usually, blood loss means a faster change. Because your heart is already beating at a faster rate to channel the remaining blood to all of the necessary organs." I bit down on my bottom lip, frowning a little.

"How did you learn all of this?" Adam chuckled softly, continuing to stroke my hair gently.

"After my change, I wandered through town, it was the middle of the night. And, I don't remember where I'd gone or how late it really was, but I bumped into a woman… She was just like me, only she's been around for centuries. She took me to her home, fed me from a little cooler packed with blood that she'd acquired over the years from hunting and… harvesting. She introduced herself as Lynn, and she's, pretty much, been my teacher since then. She's taught me how to hunt, how to use shadows and blind spots to my advantage, how to be stealthy. She's told me of all of the best pulse points," Adam said with a slight drop in his voice, kissing the side of my neck, right above my pulse. I shivered against him, "She's been my vampire mother… I can never repay her enough for her guidance."

I nodded once, trying to piece together all that I had learned, all that I heard. I licked my lips gently, trying to think of questions I wanted answered. I didn't want to overstep boundaries that were too personal though, but… Oh, what was I so afraid of? Adam was my boyfriend, albeit a _vampire_, but he was still my boyfriend. I shouldn't be afraid of stepping boundaries or being too personal. And if there was something he didn't want to answer, I had to respect that until he was ready to tell me.

"So… This is going to sound dumb, but… Do you have, like, any special powers? Can you turn into a bat? Or smoke? Mind tricks?" I asked, looking up at Adam. He had the biggest smirk on his face, and I wasn't sure if he was laughing at my joke or… Or if he actually did…

"I'm not laughing at your joke, Tommy." He commented. I blinked, frowning. What was he talking about? Could he—

"Read minds? Yes." That fucker. Adam laughed.

"So, all this time… You've known my questions before I say them?" He nodded once. "You've been hearing all of my inner turmoil?" Another nod. "Sweet fuck, Adam. You couldn't have mentioned that a little sooner?" Adam threw his head back and laughed again. Such a beautiful sound.

"Does this mean that my voice is, now, rendered useless?" I questioned, frowning slightly. Adam's laughter died into a chuckle and he trailed his fingers over my lips before bending down to kiss me, gently. I moaned, kissing him back as he slid his tongue between my teeth. I shivered, curling closer to him as his fingers left ghosted trails into my cheeks. He pulled away and I whined, quite loudly, at the lack of contact.

"No. I love the sound of your voice. Reading minds doesn't mean I can hear this—" he leaned forward, gently biting a sensitive spot on my neck. I gasped, moaning softly as trembles ran down my spine, "— in your head." He finished, kissing the spot before kissing me again. My face was a beet red, my ears felt hot as I looked away. Adam smirked lightly, kissing my cheek.

"You're too adorable, my love." He whispered and I blushed again, before thinking back to earlier this morning, when he'd brought me coffee.

"So… When you asked me, this morning, what I was thinking about when I was looking at my scars from when you've bitten me… You already knew what I was thinking?" I asked. Adam smiled gently, and nodded once. "Then why bother asking what I was thinking if you already knew what I was thinking?" I was beginning to confuse myself, and I was sure Adam heard me, because he smirked and kissed me again.

"Because. Would it not drive you insane if I just answered everything for you without you asking? I would be spending many hours answering every single thought that goes through your head." He commented. I looked away, biting down on my lower lip. He had a point. That would drive me quite insane—

"Told you." He smirked and I nudged him in the shoulder.

"Maybe you shouldn't listen to my thoughts. Can't you just, like, tune me out?" Adam shook his head slowly.

"No. I can't just tune people out, much as I might like to, sometimes." Adam commented. I nodded once again. Adam shifted, tightening his arms around me again. "Though… You were not just thinking about the scars this morning. You were thinking about something else." He said. I frowned, looking up at him.

"You were thinking about what you saw… In me." He said gently. My heart skipped a beat as my thoughts flashed back. He was right. I had been thinking, a lot, about what the beast-thing I'd seen when we were making love. As well as the softer, angelic side that he wanted to be.

"What was it?" I asked him. He sighed heavily, seeming to really dislike this part of the conversation. I couldn't blame him, because I wasn't entirely sure that I wanted to know…

"There's that age-old legend that, when vampires are created, their souls are taken. They become one without, right? Well… That's not quite true. Our souls don't vanish, they're not taken to Hell or anything like that… But… They become something of what you saw. They talk to us when we're doubting a choice or when we need to feed. They're, essentially, the opposite of a voice of reason. They're our own, personal, devils…" He explained. I frowned, licking my lips and thinking about the other half…

"Then, the other?" I asked.

"What I want to be. What everyone wants to be. Something better than what we are. Something less dangerous." He said, sounding sad and lost. I frowned, turning in his arms to look up at him. I reached up, my fingers touching the side of his face, and he looked away from me, as if ashamed to want something like that. My hand slid into his hair, stroking it gently.

"But you are, Adam. You're not dangerous. You're beautiful. You're smart. You're compassionate and amazing… You're not what you think you are." I whispered to him. Adam scoffed softly, still refusing to look at me.

"You saw my soul… You saw what I am. I'm dangerous, Tommy. I could kill you at any moment. And there would be nothing to stop me." I shook my head, cupping his face in my palms as I shifted again, straddling his hips and sitting up that I was eye level with him.

"That's not true, Adam. You are _not_ that beast. You are _you_, and your heart wouldn't let you hurt me." I said to him. His eyes flicked back and forth between mine and he looked away again.

"My heart wouldn't allow it? How does a cold, frozen heart have the strength to stop a vampire's hunger?" he glanced back up to me, his voice soft. I leaned forward, kissing him hard. He moaned softly, his arms wrapping around my waist and pulling me closer to him. My tongue slid between his teeth and I shivered, tasting him for a moment before pulling away.

"Love has the strength to overcome anything. Or do they not teach that in Vampire Life 101?" Adam chuckled, pushing forward and kissing me again.


	27. Excellent Choice

I hate the fact that this chapter is so unbelievably short, and I promise I'll do better for the next one, I just... I don't know. I had so many ideas, but I realized that some of them can't be used until later. So, yeah. Bear with me. ^^;

**

* * *

Saturday night, 11:36 P.M.**

Growling in frustration, Alex charged forward, baring his gleaming white teeth at the deer as it tried to dance away from him, dashing in and out of the trees and low shrubs. While Alex had the advantage of speed, the deer had the knowledge of the forest— the trees, the level of the ground, the plants— and it made a game out of dashing low like it had been born to run away from vampires.

Alex scrambled up trees, jumping from branch to branch like it was nothing as he pursued the animal, his stomach churning in need for the blood that pumped through its veins. His body trembled for the sensation of driving his teeth into such soft meat, tearing it apart and devouring it, almost, whole. He was hungry. And, on top of his hunger, he was angry.

Joshua had told him that, unless he knew how to properly hunt, he would not feed. Being a newborn, he needed to feed. The venom to blood ratio of his being was lying heavily with the venom, and the substance was beginning to burn him from the inside out. Fortunately for Alex, Joshua had been, oh, so kind enough to explain that he needed to keep a substantial feeding routine to keep himself from shriveling into an acidic shell of marble-like skin and damn-near indestructible bones.

So, for the past three days, Alexander had been hunting animals, considering Joshua said he was not to be trusted in the humane community until he was able to control his blood-lust. Though Alex had smelled the scents of blood in the air when he was newly changed, there was no strong desire for it. Though, that could have been because, at the time, Joshua had pressed an open wound in his arm to Alex's lips, feeding him as he changed.

Starved, weak and, yet, crazy for blood, Alex leapt from a tree branch, diving down before tackling the deer into the base of a tree. The deer kicked and yelped its animal yelp as Alex wrapped his legs around the rib cage, squeezing with little to no effort, crushing the cage entirely. The deer howled in pain as Alex wrapped his hands around the skull, squeezing and smashing the skull from the inside. The deer went silent.

Panting for breath, Alex's teeth ripped themselves from his gums, making him groan softly as he bit deeply into the fur and flesh, blood staining his lips as he drank. Alex moaned loudly, clenching tight to the deer's thin layer of fur as he drank. But, if only he'd been able to get a substantial amount of blood before being pulled away from the animal by large, equally cold hands.

Shouting out in protest, Alex clawed at the figure who tore him from his food. He knew who it was, and that only made him angrier. He stared up in the darkness at the redhead as Joshua towered over him, clapping his palm against the back of the newborn's head. Alex howled, lashing out and jumping to his feet to tackle Joshua to the ground.

Joshua sidestepped Alex, bringing his fist down into the alignment of Alex's spine, sending him to the forest floor, writhing in pain. The redhead shook his head side to side, sighing heavily as he knelt down to the boy. Alex's face was twisted in discomfort and pain, his nails clawing themselves into the dirt. Joshua's attack had left him momentarily paralyzed and, as long as his spine healed itself properly, he'd be fine in a matter of minutes. If not, he was shit out of luck.

"Fool," Joshua hissed, slipping a palm under Alex's chest, hovering the other above his back before pushing upward, popping the newborn's spine back into place. Alex groaned, sighing in appreciation as he collapsed back into the dirt, breathing heavily like he'd been running a marathon.

"You forget to use your other senses. You rely too heavily on your sight and your hearing, Alex," Joshua explained with a tone of irritation on his tongue. Alex sighed, refusing to look up at the redheaded vampire. Instead, he remained on his stomach, staring at the dirt to his right, his hands relaxed at his sides.

"Are you disregarding _everything_ I've tried to teach you in the past couple of days?" Joshua questioned, kneeling down to Alex's side, running cold fingers through his hair. Alex huffed quietly, still refusing to look up at the redhead.

"No, Joshua. I am not," Alex mumbled softly, his stomach growling gently with the need for the food he'd been so rudely torn away from. Joshua sighed softly, stroking Alex's hair gently before letting his palm rest flat on the back of Alex's skull. The younger male looked up at the redhead, his eyes staring into those of brown, his heart frozen in his chest. It was strange, not to feel any difference internally, anymore. Though he still had the memories of feeling his heart skip and accelerate and stop…

Joshua let his hand fall away from Alex's head before snapped his fingers; a signal for Alex to get up. Groaning quietly, Alex obeyed the silent command, pushing himself onto his hands and knees before standing, crossing with Joshua over to the dead and bleeding deer. Joshua motioned for Alex to kneel down and, like a good boy, he obeyed again.

"It could've been a cleaner kill, but since this is only the third— or fourth— specimen, I'm willing to let it slide. But you _have_ to start letting your true instinct guide you in these matters." Joshua explain, trailing his fingers through the bite mark in the side of the deer's neck. The blood had run cold, making it less appetizing but not impossible to consume. Alex watched the redhead raise his fingers to his lips, tasting the blood before smiling softly.

"You made an excellent choice, though," Joshua praised, and, if he had still been capable, Alex would have blushed. But he merely smiled once, nodding to Joshua in respect and gratitude.

In the time since being changed, Alex's usual independent stature had been withered to nothing. He did everything and anything Joshua commanded him to. He relied on Joshua's kind words and praising looks, he yearned for rewards of kisses and touches, knowing well that the more he pleased his maker, the more he would receive in return. Joshua had become a sort of drug to Alex, giving him enough of a kick now and then to want to do more.

Though, Alex hadn't noticed any of this. He wasn't aware that Drake's disappearance had left him so vulnerable and weak, and Joshua's upcoming into his life had changed him entirely. He obeyed because he knew that Joshua meant well and wanted what was best. Joshua promised him things Drake had never had the imagination to promise. For the first time, Alex felt true, unrequited desire for someone again.

Alex watched with avid eyes as Joshua bent his head, pressing his lips to the bite mark in the deer's neck, sucking tenderly for nothing more than a brief moment or two before coming back up, lips sealed shut and tinted a slight red. Alex tilted his head to the side, raising an eyebrow before Joshua raised his hand, cupping Alex's cheek and pulling him forward.

That invisible thread seemed to pull Alex forward again and his lips molded themselves against those of Joshua's. Slowly, Joshua parted his lips as Alex did, passing the blood from his mouth into the younger male's. Alex moaned softly, swallowing the blood before Joshua slipped his tongue between his teeth. Alex's hands slid into Joshua's hair, tugging gently. When Joshua's hand wrapped itself around the back of Alex's neck, the younger male loosened his grip on the flaming red hair, groaning quietly.

Joshua deepened the kiss, pushing Alex down into the dirt of the forest floor, hovering above him with his hands sliding to cup Alex's pale face. His legs straddled the younger male's hips, their bodies close. Alex moaned, dropping one hand from Joshua's hair before clenching his shoulder, digging his nails into the bartender's leather jacket, unconsciously pulling on the red locks again.

Growling softly, Joshua pulled away from their kiss, venom-laced saliva connecting their lips in a glistening thin band that snapped when he pulled back further. Alex moaned softly, frowning as the bartender crawled off of him. He wasn't sure if it was a blessing or a curse that he still felt the sensations of getting hard even as a vampire. Because it seemed like Joshua would tease him to damn near the point of need before deciding that their "play" time was over.

"Finish your food." Joshua commanded, standing from the ground to dust himself off of the dirt and leaves that had stuck themselves to his pants. Alex sighed softly, looking up at Joshua in the moonlit shadows of the trees. A streak of light was illuminating part of his face and hair, making him glow. Alex nodded once, pushing off from the ground before crawling over to the deer, resuming his feed with the occasional murmur from Joshua— "Don't drink too fast.", "Don't gnaw on the skin.", "Easy, easy, you're going to give yourself a stomachache." How was it even possible to get a stomachache if you were dead, though?

Eventually, the deer was all but dried of blood, Alex pulled away from the carcass, wiping at his lips before standing. He felt better; fuller, stronger, healthier. He licked his lips again before turning to face Joshua, who was standing with his hands in his pockets, smiling gently. Alex chuckled quietly, smiling shyly back at the bartender, the memory of shyness and, even, embarrassment creeping up into his throat.

"Come, Alex. You've had enough for tonight," Joshua said, slipping a hand onto Alex's shoulder, turning him so that they could trek back to the car that Joshua had left parked on the side of the nearby road. Through the entire walk, Alex had to keep his hands in his pockets to keep back the temptation of pushing Joshua up against a tree and kissing him hard.


	28. Promise Me

**Early Sunday morning, 3:57 A.M.**

_Dark. _

_That's all I see at first: darkness. It's cold, too. Not unbearably so, but it's definitely uncomfortable. Like a chilled spring morning, just before the sun really starts to have any use for itself. Biting at the nose and cheeks, making them sting and turn red. The kind of cold that makes your breath visible in thick plumes around your face. The kind of cold that makes you wonder just how much colder it could be before it's too much. That's the kind of cold that this is._

_I glance down, finding that I'm sitting in some kind of a chair. My feet, bare, are flat against ice cold concrete, paler than normal in color. But that could be from the cold. Various stains litter the floor, some rusty in their color. Blood? It's possible, and I try not to think about it as I look up into the darkness, hoping by some grace of God it'll lift like mist and I'll be able to figure out just where the hell I really am. _

_I breathe out through my mouth and see the exhale plume around my face for a moment before it disappears into nothing. Has it gotten colder in these few moments? It's possible… It's so cold. I feel weak; my arms and legs heavy, but I seem to stay in the chair without showing any signs of falling out… Or being able to get up. Am I frozen here? Is that why it's so cold? _

_A light buzzes and flickers above my head, illuminating my seat in the chair as well as a circumference of floor around me, making me glow. I wince as the light blinds me for a few seconds before my vision adjusts. I'd been able to see the stains in the dark, but how that was possible, I wasn't sure. But the light shows just the places I'd seen them as another light some few feet away flickers on, revealing Adam lying on the floor._

_I gasp softly, staring at him in the near darkness, now. His pale skin looks ashy, almost like the charred remains from a recent fire. His eyes are closed in pain, his lips pulled down into a grimace. He's on his back, slightly arched off the floor with his hands at his sides, his head lolled to the left. His lip is split open, bleeding gently. I frown, opening my mouth to call out to him, but no sound leaves my lips. It's like my breath is stuck in my throat._

_Another light flickers on nearby, but it's faint, barely there. There's a shadow of a man with piercing red eyes that seem to glow with such a vengeance it makes my heart stop. I can't really get a good look at his face, other than the red eyes and pale complexion. I know he's what Adam is, but that's not what frightens me about him. His eyes are locked with mine, fire red hair framing a face that I can't see… _

_He looks like he's ready to kill me. Or Adam. Or, perhaps, the both of us. _

_There's a click of a sound and a band on light lifts on the floor, slowly inching upward. A door. Like a garage or warehouse door. One that slides up the wall and curves along the ceiling. The light— sunlight, it seems— inches towards Adam and myself. My eyes leave the man and I look to Adam, staring at his pale, pained face. He looks weak, like he's been beaten down… or he hasn't fed._

"_Have you ever seen a vampire burn?" A voice whispers in my ear, and I turn, seeing the redhead pulling away from me, a pearly grin stretching his lips as he vanished into the shadows. I tremble, trying to pull myself away from the chair, but I am bound. Not frozen, like I thought. Bound by what feels to be rope around my wrists, behind the metal of the chair. _

_I turn my attention to Adam, watching the door slide open more and more, the sunlight washing across the floor before reaching him. At first it hits his legs, then his chest and face that the light spread across before stretching further, further towards me. Adam arches further, growling softly in pain as his ashy skin began to turn even more so. He opens his mouth, screaming out as I stare at him. It takes a moment for me to understand why he's screaming, but when I see them, I want to scream, too._

_Cracks start breaking into his skin, slowly making their way up his arms, across his neck and over his face. They're dark, black and hideous. The more cracks that appear, the louder Adam screams. My eyes widen and I tug at my restraints, trying to break free, but I'm weak… I'm weak and it's getting harder to breathe…_

"_Adam…" I whisper to him, trying my best to raise a shout. He needs to get into the darkness, but he doesn't seem to hear me in the slightest. I fight the binding again, groaning, scooting my chair towards him. Sunlight is beating against my face, making me sweat. It's so hot, now, and Adam is screaming louder and louder, thrashing on the ground as cracks develop cracks. Pieces of his skin crumble away in flakes, lying like chipped marble around his trembling frame._

_Adam chokes, convulsing as he vomits a mix of blood and something that smells acidic and is clear. Venom? It's possible. It sizzles in the pool of blood he's just spat out, smelling sickeningly sweet and foul, all the same. The smell… It makes my mouth water and I find myself gazing at it before pulling my attention away, horrified at my own strange desire for his venomous blood. Instead, I stare at him, terrified as he grunts, clawing at himself, tearing away more flakes of his skin, creating more bleeding and burning cracks. His eyes are squeezed shut in pain as he howls again, blood pooling around his fingernails and dripping from his lips. From the corners of his eyes like tears._

"_Adam!" I scream, but it's useless. He's dying… He's dying and I can't save him…_

_Tommy… I hear someone calling out my name, but I don't see anything or anyone. I only see Adam, thrashing, screaming… I start screaming, trying to tell him to move, trying to get him to get out of the sunlight. But it feels like it's everywhere. It's all around us, hitting us. I scream, choking on a sob. I taste something funny in the back of my throat before I spit on the concrete, seeing red. Red… Blood…_

_Tommy!_

"Tommy!" My eyes snapped open, my heart thudding like a crazed drum in my chest as I blinked several times. Things were fuzzy but I could make out the shape of Adam's body above me. I could feel his hands on face, the sweet tinge of his breath on my skin. I blinked again, gasping softly for breath as the color of his eyes came into view; panicked and bluer than I'd ever seen them. They were flickering back and forth between mine, searching.

The dream kept replaying itself on a loop; Adam burning, the redhead whispering in my ear, spitting up blood, Adam _dying_… I shuddered, closing my eyes to look away from Adam, clearly unharmed and alive. I brought my trembling hands up to my face, breathing deeply as I tried rubbing the sleep— and the dream— away. Adam's fingers dragged themselves through the fringe of my hair and he pressed a kiss to my forehead.

He knew, that was obvious. He didn't ask me about anything. He let me rest in his arms as he kissed my forehead and my lips soothingly, trying to calm me down. But I couldn't calm down. I couldn't. I'd never known a vampire to crack and scream and crumble little by little like pieces of broken stone. To me, vampires had always just turned to ash, immediately. Or they burst into flames. They never cracked… They never fell apart.

Adam gently slid off of the bed, pulling me with him, cradling me to his chest, almost, as he led me from the sanctity of our bedroom. I wasn't sure where he was taking me or why, but I let him take me. I let him hold me like a baby to his body as we left our bedroom, walking down the hall of the condo towards the bathroom. He nudged the door open with his shoulder, setting me down on the toilet as he reached into the tub, starting the hot water.

My eyes wandered across the stained-glass shower door, the maiden bathing beneath a water fall. I was vaguely aware of Adam closing the bathroom door before stripping of his pajamas and helping me to my feet. In a matter of moments, I was undressed and pulled into the warmth of the shower as Adam slid the glass door shut. I groaned softly when the water hit my shoulders and the back of my neck, and Adam pressed a kiss to my forehead.

Adam's hands ran up and down my sides and my arms, his lips leaving gentle kisses into my skin as scalding hot water sprayed us both. It was a strange sensation, having hot water and cold hands and lips touching you. But the longer Adam was under the water, the warmer he became. He felt normal. Like he was human and not a vampire. Like my dream was just something utterly fucked up and he was going to be okay…

I choked softly, pressing myself close to Adam, shaking with tears again. Why would I have dreamed something like that? I didn't want Adam to get hurt. I didn't want him to die. Was there something significant about it or was it just a really, really messed up dream? I couldn't be sure, and as much as I wanted to believe that Adam would be okay, the unsettling ball of worry sat like a stone in my stomach.

"Tommy," Adam whispered to me, his voice just above the patter of shower water. I whimpered softly, keeping my head down and my forehead up against his chest. His hands slid up my back gently, before one arm curled around my waist, his free hand palming my cheek to lift my head, "Baby… Please, don't worry," he begged, staring me in the eye.

I couldn't trust myself to speak. I couldn't trust my voice because, I knew, if I tried, I would just start crying again. Adam frowned softly, rubbing circles into my cheek. I leaned into his touch, water cascading down from my hair and along the lines of my body. Still hot. Still soothing. '_I can't just not worry, Adam… I dreamed that you died right in front of me…_'

Adam sighed softly, kissing my forehead calmly before resting his own against mine, '_I understand that, Tommy. I do. But I'm alive right now. I'm here. I'm not going anywhere, baby, and you know that._' He told me, his voice clear as day in my mind despite the fact that his lips, for an instant, did not move.

'_Yes, right now. What about the future? Dreams like this don't happen for no apparent reason. What if this actually happens, Adam? I can't.. I can't lose you. I just can't._' I argued, bringing my hands up his shoulders before curling them around his neck, playing with the hairs on the nape. Adam sighed again, caressing my cheek and trailing his thumb over my lips.

'_You won't lose me, Tommy. You're not going to lose me. I'll always be right here with you._' His voice was gentle, like a whisper in my mind. I whimpered softly, tears falling down my cheeks and mingling with the water. Adam shifted, kissing me sweetly as he wiped away the tears. My arms tightened around him and I pulled him close, my heart aching in my chest.

'_Promise me. Promise me you won't… Please.._' I begged him. I wasn't proud to beg, but I loved him. I loved him more than any other in my life. If I lost him, I wasn't sure what I would do. Would I go on? Yes. Adam would always want me to. But it would be hard without him… Adam moaned softly, though he sounded pained, almost, as he deepened our kiss.

'_I promise_.'

Showered and dressed with air-drying hair, I sat on the couch with a mug of coffee in my hands. I was dressed in a pair of loose-fitting jeans and one of Adam's sweaters draping from my shoulders. I stared, blankly, at the coffee table as Adam mingled in the kitchen, either getting himself some tea or figuring out something to eat. I wasn't sure.

His promise to me made me feel better, but I still could not shake the dream that I'd had. Who was the shadow with deep, hateful red eyes and fire-red hair? Why was I bound to a chair? Why was Adam crumbling apart from bleeding and burning cracks on the floor? I sighed, taking a drink of my coffee as Adam came into the room, holding a mug in his right hand. He was wearing a pair of faded blue jeans and a dark blue sweater, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

Adam sat down beside me, taking my mug and placing it on the coffee table next to his before pulling me tightly into his arms. My head rested against his chest with my body nestled between his thighs, his arms linking around my waist. I let out a breath as I relaxed against him, but there was one particular part of my dream that had me curious.

"In my dream.. When you burned under the sunlight.. the cracks.. Is that how vampires die?" I asked him, staying still in his arms.

For a long moment, the only sound in the room was that of breathing. It wasn't eerily quiet or anything, but it was unsettling, none the less. Adam's hands clenched a little against me and he sighed softly, "Yes," he admitted. I bit down on my bottom lip.

"How long does it take?" I inquired. Adam leaned forward, pressing his lips to my hair, inhaling deeply for a moment as his hands shifted, taking mine and lacing our fingers.

"Depends on how recently the vampire has fed. If the vampire has just fed, it can take hours and hours at a time for the effects of sunlight. If it's been a few days, the time is shorter. A few weeks and, depending on the will of the vampire, it can take as long as an hour or as short as a few minutes," Adam explained to me, his voice soft and pained. He did not like this subject.

"What happens to a vampire when they're exposed to sunlight?"

"Again, it depends on a few things. How recent they fed and how long they are exposed. If it's just for a few minutes or so, nothing major happens. The outer rims of our irises turn a little red, we feel irritable and our skin gets dry and itchy.

"If it's for a few hours, the skin begins to flake, the eyes turn red, our canines are more visible and we're bitter, temperamental and easy to enrage. Several hours, the cracks begin to form. Blood starts to gather in the cuticles of nails and pours from the mouth and eyes.

"At that point, though, we're just shells of who we are. Neither friend nor foe can try to talk to us because we're so driven into madness with pain. In most cases, we cannot even feed, ourselves. Blood must be force fed to us, the cracks sealed with venom. We need absolute darkness to heal. Otherwise it's just a slow, excruciating death,"

I bit down on my bottom lip, my mind picturing all of the things he told me and matching parts of it to my dream. I frowned slightly, my hands tightening with his, "But.. In my dream, when the sunlight reached you… Cracks began to form almost immediately," I explained, though I was sure he already knew that from experiencing my dream, second hand. Adam sighed.

"Then I, in you dream, must not have fed recently… If it was instantaneous, I had to have been extremely weak to begin with," he muttered quietly. I shuddered softly. I could never imagine Adam being so weak that he his death would come so quickly.

"Based on your descriptions of this… Have you ever been burned by sunlight?" I was almost afraid to ask, but part of me also already knew the answer.

"Yes, though I have never suffered exposure longer than an hour or so. And if I go out, I make sure to feed before doing so. Most of what I know comes from stories that people tell me. People who see other vampires burn or have burned themselves… They always say how it's the most painful experience of their life…" Adam trailed of, rubbing circles with his thumb on the back of my hand. I shivered again, pulling away for a moment to reach for my coffee. It was still warm, but not as warm as before.

"Adam?" I inquired, taking a drink, relishing in the feel of coffee running down my body and setting fire to my system, waking me up.

"Yes?" I bit down on my lip before looking over my shoulder up at him.

"In my dream… Who was the redhead?" Adam stared hard at me, his eyes still and his body motionless. He looked away, staring off into space for a moment before shaking his head.

"I do not know," he said. But there was a part of me that whispered so quietly in my mind that I doubted even Adam could've heard it—

_You're lying_.


	29. Something's Come Up

**Sunday afternoon, 3:36 P.M.**

It had taken all morning for Adam to get Tommy to go back to sleep for some more rest. It had taken all of his strength not to curl up beside the blond and rest with him, to try and sleep off the horror of what he'd seen in Tommy's mind. Watching his own death through his lover's eyes was almost more than he could bear, but seeing Joshua there, too? When he was almost sure that Tommy had never met Joshua?

He hadn't wanted to concern Tommy with the knowledge of Joshua. Not right now, anyway. Tommy was shaken up enough as it was, and he didn't need the added stress that the person he dreamed of trying to kill Adam was someone that Adam knew of from before. Someone that he used to be incredibly close with. Sighing heavily, Adam closed the bedroom door. He'd checked on Tommy to see if the blond had stirred or if he seemed to be in discomfort. He wasn't.

Adam crossed the hallway towards the living room of the condo, staring out at the city of Los Angeles from the window. The streets weren't very crowded and the sky, itself, was rather dark. Clouds were rolling over the sunlight and making the day gloomy, not that Adam was complaining in the least. Sometimes he regretted his choice to live here in Los Angeles.

Shaking his head, Adam looked away from the window, staring down at the hardwood floors of the condo. He couldn't shake the image of watching himself burning. All those cracks, the blood, hearing himself screaming in pain and writhing in a pool of sunlight… Unconsciously, Adam scratched at his left forearm with his nails, staring hard at the floor. It was almost like he could feel the cracks in his skin, cutting deep…

Adam's phone buzzed in his pocket and he jumped, gasping softly before dropping his hand from his arm to fumble for his phone. Repeatedly, the device buzzed and buzzed until he pulled it free, tapping the screen before holding it to his ear. If his heart wasn't frozen in his chest, it would be thrashing right now, "Lynn," he muttered softly, turning away from the window.

"Adam," she acknowledged back. They hadn't spoken since he left the Rabbit Hole a few weeks ago, and Adam could tell that the tension was still thick between them. He sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair for a moment before shoving his free hand into his pocket. "It's been a while," Lynn muttered after a moment.

"It has, yeah," Adam agreed, trying to keep himself from just hanging up on her. The last time they spoke, she'd barely acknowledged his romance with Tommy as anything serious, and that had really hurt him.

"How're you doing?" Lynn asked, no doubt trying to keep herself in check. Adam bit down on his bottom lip, glancing across the hall to the closed bedroom door, where Tommy was sleeping on the other side. He licked at his lip for a moment before tearing his gaze away, mindlessly walking from the living room to the dining room of the condo.

"I'm alright… But.. Something's come up," Adam said. He might've still been on bitter terms with Lynn, but the woman was like his mother, and there were things that he just couldn't keep from her. There would always be a time when he would have to set aside the differences and issues that he had with her and confide in her about the things that he didn't understand.

"Such as?" Lynn inquired, and Adam dragged his fingers through his hair.

"Tommy had a dream last night where he saw me burning in sunlight… And Joshua was there, too," he admitted, inhaling slowly through his mouth. Lynn was silent on the other end of the line for the longest moment in time, and Adam almost wondered if she'd either hung up or if he'd lost the call. But once the moment had passed, he realized that she was still with him, for she let out a heavy breath.

"How in depth was this dream?" She asked.

"He visualized the way vampires burn in sunlight completely. The cracks, the bleeding, the coughing up of venom, the flaking skin.. Lynn, I'd never told him anything about how the light affects us. Not a word. I'm not sure that this was _just _a dream…" Adam trailed off, clenching his jaw tightly. If he were to clench it anymore, he was sure that he would start breaking his teeth.

"You're suggesting he had a vision?" Adam swallowed the lump that had formed in the back of his throat.

"Is it not possible?" He retaliated gently, a touch of fear lacing itself over his tongue. If Tommy was having visions in his sleep as a human, just how great would the power be if he were a vampire— no. He couldn't think like that. Adam refused… perhaps the beast within him wanted to drain Tommy and change him, but Adam, himself, refused. He would not subject Tommy to this life… To this sickness.

"It is.. Has he had any other dreams like this, before?" Adam shook his head without really thinking about it, despite the fact that he knew Lynn would not be able to see it.

"No. At least, not that I know of… but I would've known.. when I woke him up, he was still thinking, in great detail, of the dream, and I saw it as if it were through my own eyes," Adam could still hear his own screams from the dream in his head, and it made him cringe slightly, venom pooling like bile on the back of his tongue. If he could be sick, he would…

"I have no reason to suspect that this isn't a vision of sorts.. Are you absolutely _sure_ that Joshua was the one in Tommy's vision?" Lynn questioned, and Adam had to swallow another lump from his throat at the mention of Joshua's name.

"Yes," he whispered softly. He hated to think that Joshua would plan his death and Tommy's capture— what did Tommy even have to do with him, anyway, other than that they were dating?

"Then I'd suggest you keep Tommy with you as often as possible. Take him with you to meetings or whatever if you have to. If there are errands you need to run, suggest that you two go together or something. Whatever you do, do _not_ let Tommy leave your sight for too long without you knowing exactly where he's going to be," Lynn told him, her voice hard and, if he wasn't mistaken, even a touch afraid.

"Why?" Adam asked, biting down on his bottom lip.

"Do you want to risk Joshua, potentially, harming Tommy?" If Adam's heart wasn't frozen in his chest, he would have felt it stop on the spot. Adam swallowed the lump from his throat, speaking softly.

"Never," he admitted, inhaling deeply through his nose, his free hand clenched into a fist at his side.

"I didn't think so," Lynn muttered on her end of the line, "Believe me, Adam, I don't like this anymore than you do. But it has to be done until something can be done about Joshua," she said, and Adam frowned slightly, glancing, again, at the bedroom door, wanting nothing more than to hang up the phone and crawl into bed with his Glitterbaby.

"What do you mean "until something can be done" about him?" Adam questioned gently, feeling the nervousness in his throat beginning to seal him off.

"Adam… Your mortal boyfriend just had a dream that involved Joshua and your death. There's no use in confronting Joshua about it because he will just deny it. However, we can't disregard it, entirely, and let the pieces fall into place because you and Tommy could get seriously hurt. If we're not careful, things can get really ugly really fast," Lynn explained and Adam let out a long and heavy breath.

"Fuck," he hissed, dragging fingers through his hair. Lynn chuckled on her end of the line.

"It's not going to be easy, I know. But I'm sure you'll have no problem staying close to Tommy, right?"

"Of course not," Adam said without hesitation.

"Good. Keep me informed if he has anymore visions, alright?"

"I will," He could almost see Lynn smiling in the back of his mind.

"Good. I'll talk to you later, Adam," the goodbye was quick in its exchange, and Adam set his phone down on the dining room table, letting out another heavy breath. He didn't like any of this. Joshua used to be close enough to him that they were brothers. Why couldn't things be normal again? Like they used to be? Why couldn't he just have his Glitterbaby? Why couldn't he take back murdering Drake? Why, why, why?

Shaking his head, Adam made his way back to the bedroom that Tommy was resting in. He didn't have any intention in disturbing his baby, but after the conversation he'd just had with Lynn, he had a sudden desire to crawl into the bed and hold Tommy to his chest. Biting down on his bottom lip, Adam made his way through the living room and to the bedroom, grabbing the knob delicately in his palm.

Turning the knob, Adam pushed the door open quietly, peeking inside for a moment to see if Tommy was still asleep. In the darkness of the room, he could see Tommy rolled onto his side, facing the wall. He could hear the steadiness of Tommy's breath and he sighed in relief, stepping into the room before shutting the door gently behind him.

Slowly, Adam made his way over to the bed, gently crawling beneath the covers before pulling the sleeping blond into his arms. Tommy's head lolled, falling to rest against Adam's chest. The blond did not budge, nor did he seem to stir from his sleep. Even in the simplest of movements that Adam put him through, he did not wake from his slumber, of which Adam was incredibly grateful for. He pressed a kiss to Tommy's forehead, praying to the Universe that the dream was simply that— a dream. Not a vision like he and Lynn suspected it to be. Not a foreshadowing of the future…

He wanted no reason to suspect Joshua for anything, but this was almost too much now. Between the last time that they spoke to each other and the way that turned out, Adam wasn't really sure of anything anymore involving Joshua. He wanted to believe that his brother— his Joshua— was still in there somewhere, but he wasn't sure. He just wasn't sure.


	30. Hypnotic Edge

**Wednesday night, 11:36 P.M.**

Tucked away, sitting on the corner of the couch, Alex had his knees drawn up to his chest with his hands pressed between his thighs and his stomach. His eyes were locked on the floor in front of him and he was deep in thought, gnawing delicately on his bottom lip. He'd been sitting like this for the past couple of hours. Just sitting and thinking quietly to himself while Joshua was away.

Joshua… He hadn't seen the redhead since last night, and there was a tugging sensation of loneliness that had coiled around his stomach. In truth, it was only a memory of loneliness, but it was a memory he was all too familiar with. The same cold, gripping tremble in his spine, the rusted edge of worry that was laced against the back of his throat like a line of barbed wire wrapping around his vocal cords. But it was only a memory for him.

Sometimes he hated being a vampire. Sometimes it was the biggest thrill of his life. He hated having to survive off of blood like he was an animal, but then he had to remind himself of just what he had become. What he'd willingly allowed for himself. He'd tossed his human, mortal life into the hands of a stranger and traded away all that he held dear for this cursed need for blood and power.

But why had he traded it away, if he hated this life so much more than what he had before? Was it the blind agony he felt of heartache when Drake had gone missing without so much as another word or reason for leaving? Was it the subconscious need to feel like he could move on without Drake, considering the brunette showed no signs of ever coming back to him?

He sighed, resting his head on his knees. He missed Drake. He missed Drake more than ever before, now. He missed seeing his baby's smile, hearing Drake's laugh.. He missed wrapping his arms around Drake's waist from behind, resting his chin on Drake's shoulder as the artist worked on a masterpiece in their bedroom. He missed kissing Drake; he missed holding him, loving him and cherishing him. He missed Drake, terribly. And each day, living this cursed life and drinking blood of animals and people… His longing for the artist only intensified.

Joshua, though, had been more than good to Alex. Yes, he was a hard and cruel teacher at times, but he knew patience and he knew compassion. He rewarded Alex for his accomplishments and his efforts and, while he often would chastise Alex for doing something wrong, it always turned out okay in the end. And as much as Alex wanted to let go of Drake, there was still something that was nagging the back of his mind and eating at his frozen heart.

Where had Drake gone?

Had he fallen off the face of the Earth? Had he been killed? Did he decide to just leave one day? The need to know was killing Alex inside so much that he didn't even register Joshua slinking into the front door, his belly full with a recent and mouthwateringly rich kill. He only just recognized Joshua's presence long enough to shy away from the hand that Joshua was trying to put onto his shoulder, and he left the redhead hanging in the air.

"Alex?" Joshua murmured gently, taking a step closer before sitting down on the couch next to Alex, keeping his hands on his lap, this time. Alex knew Joshua was good to him, but he wanted to be alone for right now. He appreciated all that Joshua had done to help him and a part of him even loved Joshua. But the ache left behind from Drake kept him from loving Joshua more than he felt was deserved. "Alex, are you alright?"

"I'm fine," Alex gruffed into his arms, tightening himself into a ball, curling away from the bartender. He just wanted to be alone to grieve for the man he loved so passionately before this new life of his. He could feel Joshua's eyes on him and he knew that the older vampire was frowning something fierce, but he did not untangle himself from his ball.

"No, you aren't," Joshua retorted, reaching out to put a hand on Alex's knee. Alex didn't move away, but nor did he lean into the gesture. He stayed put, wishing dearly that he had a heart to break down and cry with. "Talk to me, Alex…" Alex shook his head, keeping himself tucked away.

"Talk to me," Joshua growled, his voice clipped and edgy, a lacing of control underneath it that sounded sweeter than honey. Alex bit down on his bottom lip before feeling the words tumble coerced out of his throat in a jumbled, rushed mess.

"It's about my boyfriend, Drake," a simple answer, but he did not want to say it. And he knew, much to his displeasure, that Joshua was using his power as Alex's creator and master to pull the explanation from him. He could make Alex do anything he wanted with the right words and the right tone. At least, that was what Joshua had told him, anyway. And he had to believe it, because there was no other explanation for the words to spew from his lips without his consent.

"Drake? What for?" Joshua asked, the tone still firm in his voice. Alex tried swallowing the words away, but they came falling out anyway.

"He's been missing for several weeks, maybe longer… I know that I can't, really, go back to him, even if I knew where he was, because of what I am, now. But that doesn't mean I don't want to go on not knowing where he is at all," Alex muttered, wishing that he could bite his own tongue off to mute himself. He didn't want to concern Joshua with all of this, and yet he had no other choice in the matter.

"Why does it matter?" The edge of the tone had slipped a little bit, and Joshua's curiosity was more prominent than his demand, but Alex knew that, if he didn't answer, Joshua would force it out of him anyway.

"What if his ex— Adam is behind it? What if Adam.. I don't know. I just… I have this feeling that he's behind Drake's disappearance, but I don't want to believe it, either, because I don't have any reason to suspect him for this, but… He had dated Drake before…" Alex trailed off, the memory of anger and grief washing over the back of his throat, lying heavy on his tongue. Truly, he had no reason to suspect the glam rockstar for Drake's disappearance, but if Adam was behind it…

"Understandable.. But, you brought up an excellent point. Adam dated Drake before; who's to say that he wouldn't go out of his way to have him back?" Joshua suggested, raising an eyebrow. Alex frowned softly, looking away from him for a moment to stare back down at the shag carpet of his apartment.

"But why? Adam's dating someone else now, why would he want Drake back? Why would he take my boyfriend from me?" Alex hissed, figuring that, if he was still human, he'd be on the verge of tears right now. But Joshua had told him more than once before that vampires don't cry.

Joshua raised an eyebrow for a moment before leaning closer to Alex, whispering words in his ear that froze any hope of words in Alex's throat, "Perhaps he was hungry, one night, and Drake was in the wrong place at the wrong time."

The bartender pulled away before standing from the couch, leaving Alex to stew in the idea that maybe, just maybe, Adam had killed him. Alex's eyes were widened, staring hard and blank out in front of him, his hands beginning to clench into fists. Back and forth through his mind, he kept seeing flashes of what the glam star might've done… Different and god-awful ways of tearing Drake's throat out and draining him of every last drop of sweet blood…

Alex gasped softly, his voice lost to himself as he started shaking with grief and the desire for revenge. If Adam had been the cause for Drake's sudden disappearance.. If he had killed Drake, Alex would surely fire revenge upon him. He didn't give a damn about Adam fucking Lambert's history with his boyfriend or however he felt about Drake, if Adam had _murdered_ his _Drake_, Alex was going to make sure that he paid for it.

He shut his eyes tightly, trembling with the sensation of rage as he tried to calm himself down. He felt the couch shift as Joshua's hands cupped his face, tilting his head up for a sweet, serene kiss. Alex moaned, clenching his fists in his lap for a moment before uncurling them to reach up and grasp the bartender's shoulders, pulling him closer. When Joshua pulled away to whisper into Alex's ear, Alex kept his eyes closed, listening…

"Remember what I told you the night that we met?" Joshua breathed, and Alex nodded once, "That I could help you find Drake, but that you had to trust me?" He continued, and Alex nodded once again, clinging for dear life to the redhead.

"Adam killed Drake," Joshua said, the hiss of command in his voice. Alex gasped softly as it felt like electricity went spiraling down from the back of his neck along every nerve and ending in his body. Joshua pressed a kiss to Alex's neck before whispering again, "He murdered him. He tore his neck out and sucked him dry and left him to rot. And do you want to know why?" Joshua hissed quietly, scooting closer to Alex, his body nestled between Alex's thighs.

"Why?" Alex whispered hoarsely.

"Because you took him away. You stole his Drake away… He didn't care about Drake. He wanted to make you suffer."

The words were cold and each one sent rage burning down through his venomous blood. Joshua left kisses and small bites into Alex's neck, his voice low and cool, charming and succulent in every possible way.

"Don't you think it's time to pay him his dues? To wreak the pain he's wrought on you?" Joshua suggested, his voice with a hypnotic edge, almost as he left a feather light kiss fleetingly upon Alex's lips. The brunette moaned, chasing after Joshua's mouth blindly for another. "Adam took your love away… Why not take his?"

The desire for revenge and blood and absolute payback was burning so strong in Alex that he hadn't even registered, entirely, what Joshua had said. By taking Adam's lover away, they were going to go after Tommy. And in the depths of his mind and in his frozen heart, Alex screamed at his own self, internally, to wake up. Wake up! This isn't right! But he couldn't hear his own turmoil. Joshua's words were warm and enticing and his mouth watered at ripping Adam's heart from his chest. And they would start with his lover.

"Tell me, Alex… What is Adam's lover's name?" Joshua breathed into his mouth, kissing him hard and pulling him close. Alex moaned, tangling his fingers into the threads of Joshua's hair. His body, though cold to the touch, felt like it was on fire and every kiss and caress left him yearning for more, more, more.

But Alex didn't say anything at first, even when Joshua pulled away from him to hear the answer. Joshua bit into the side of Alex's neck, not hard enough to tear open flesh, but enough for Alex to arch into Joshua, pushing his hips up and moaning. "Who is it, Alex?" Joshua hissed, one hand slipped under the fabric of Alex's shirt and the other holding his face.

"Tommy," Alex whispered unconsciously, his mind lost in a pleasurable haze, "His name is Tommy."


	31. Asking Too Much

**Early Thursday morning, 2:12 A.M.**

Adam dragged a wet kiss along the bite mark he'd left into my neck, his tongue leaving a cool, sticky-wet trail, sealing the still-bleeding mark. I arched up into him, moaning softly as he tasted me again before relaxing into the comforter of the bed. His hands slid up my sides, fingers gently pressing into my skin to make me giggle quietly as he kissed my lips tenderly.

Despite the fact that we had finished, Adam was still buried inside of me, his spent-member gone warm from being surrounded by my body heat. Strange as it was, it was comforting for him to still be within me. His hands came up to touch my face, sliding through my sweaty hair as he chastely pressed his lips to my jaw, his body hovering over me in the dark. I reached up, sliding my hand up and over his chest, knotting fingers into his hair to pull him down into another kiss, my tongue splitting the cool seam of his mouth.

Adam moaned softly, instinctively rocking into me again and I gasped, arching off the bed and into his body at the sudden motion, shivers rolling down my spine in electrified waves of warmth and chill. My eyes slid shut and I smiled softly as he licked my neck, rocking into me again. Sure, we were tired, but the pleasured haze that fluttered over both of us kept us conscious, and in this consciousness with Adam still buried so far into me that he only had to twitch and he was stabbing that spot in me, there was a kind of sexy energy that made us want to go again. An energy that made me gasp as he thrust once more.

"Adam…" I moaned, keeping one hand in his hair, the other gripping tightly into his marble-like flesh. He groaned above me, a hand curled around my hip to hold me in place as he started a fresh, gentle motion, each rock in send chills down my spine and blood rushing through my dick, waking it back from sleep and making me want again.

My breath came out in a shuddered gasp when Adam shoved, particularly hard, up into me, his teeth scraping along the curve of the underside of my jaw. My eyes rolled into the back of my head and I panted softly, arching into the iciness of his skin, trembling lightly. "Tommy," he whispered, kissing my neck, "Tommy, Tommy, Tommy…" Adam had a fascination for saying my name a lot when we made love. Not that I could ever complain, truly… I loved the way he would whisper it with the hiss of pleasure, dragging out the tail end of it in a moan.

I could feel Adam's lips pulled into a smirk as he kissed me again and I had to fight to roll my eyes and shove him. Stupid vampire boyfriend being able to read my mind. "I love you," he said gently, and I moaned, my heart skipping a beat at the words.

"I love you, too…" I told him into his lips, kissing him sweetly as he fucked me.

Each plunge in seemed to lift me off of the bed more and more until Adam was up on his knees with my body pressed close to his, my arms around his neck, his face pressed to my chest, leaving kisses against my skin. Every time Adam would thrust up into me, gravity brought me down even harder on him. My face, angled up towards the ceiling, was no doubt written with ecstasy as he huffed cool breaths against my skin. Adam's nails started at my shoulders and dragged their way down my back, making me arch into him deeply as I cried out, panting like a spent dog.

Adam kept mercilessly pounding into that spot within me, and it was a wonder I hadn't come undone yet. It was a wonder I hadn't screamed and fallen apart at the seams with the way Adam was handling my body. But there was something within me, something that needed more. Something darker, harder, sexier and so sinister, almost, that if I had been paying attention to it, I would've been terrified by it.

"Bite me," I moaned without thinking before relishing the feel of Adam's hand yanking on my hair, tugging my head to the side to expose my neck; I lost myself in the sensation of his teeth sinking into my skin, ripping open the bite he'd recently sealed to drink from me again.

My back arched into an almost perfect bend, my chest pressed against Adam's, my head lolled back with his lips glued to my throat. Pleasure wracked my body into this perfectly still moment before Adam thrust into me again, opening the bite wider to drink more. I gasped, my body tensing up with a burning pleasure coiling around my body in an invisible wire, pulling tight and setting me on an all-consuming fire.

Skin tingling, hands going numb in his hair, my head began to spin in circles as my soul latched onto that of Adam's. Physically, Adam's lips were locked to my throat, his teeth ripping me in half as he drank lightly, tasting me more than feeding. But in this connection of our souls, I was being ravished and absolved by the two halves of him. The half that ravished me was dark, dripping with blood red lust, clawing into my skin. The other had an embrace around me that felt blissful, delicate hands caressing my face and breathing in sweet love to me…

I wasn't even aware when Adam jerked, releasing inside of me that he had also let go of his hold on my neck. I wasn't aware that he had resealed the bite or that I had finished, myself, and that he was laying me down gently until his hands came up to my face, his lips covering mine. I moaned softly, dropping my hands from his hair to grasp his shoulders. "Change me," I breathed into his mouth, my mind lost in a pleasured haze.

"What?" Adam hissed. I moaned, arching up into the memory of him drinking from me.

"Change me.. I wanna.. mm…I wanna be like you," I whispered. Adam's hands vanished from my face and I whined, weakly opening my eyes to gaze up at him. His face was hard and serious, his body posture tense. I frowned, struggling to keep my eyes open. I was strangely exhausted and I wasn't sure if it was because of the sex or the fact that Adam had drunk more from me than normal…

"No." Adam said, his voice hard and definite.

"Please, baby.." I muttered, weakly reaching for him. My hand curled around his wrist for a moment before he pulled away quickly.

"Tommy, you're delusional… You don't know what you're saying. You can't possibly want this…" He tried to reason, but his voice sounded more pained than anything. I whined softly, forcing my eyes open as I pulled myself into a sitting position, reaching for him again.

"No.. I know what I'm saying and what I want," I told him, trailing my fingers up his arm. He shivered lightly. "I want you… I want to be like you.. I.." I blushed, leaning forward to trace the curve of his lip with my tongue briefly, "I want to be with you for forever…" Adam moaned, kissing me softly before pushing me away.

"No, Tommy. I won't…" He said, and I huffed, "Baby, please… Don't.. I won't do that to you."

"What harm is there, Adam?" I asked, blinking a few times, getting a little bit of strength back as I leaned heavily on my elbow. "I love you. I want to be with you. And if I'm like you, you don't have to worry about hurting me or risk giving into temptation and possibly killing me…" I said, my voice hard. To be truthful, though, the idea of being a vampire terrified me as much as it intrigued me.

"You're asking too much of me, Tommy," Adam growled, his eyes dark in the room, "I will not change you because this isn't a life worth having. I would rather die than rob you of the life you could have." I shook my head.

"I don't want any other life than a life with you. And I don't want to die some old geezer and you live on for all eternity, Adam. I want to live _with you_.. Please," I begged him. Adam's eyes wavered and his expression turned sad as he pulled himself from the bed, snatching up a pair of pajama pants. I watched him dress before he left the room, and I frowned softly, climbing out of bed. Throwing on my own pants, I followed him out into the living room.

"Adam.." I whispered. I watched him turn towards the kitchen, slumping along into the room. Shuffling across the hardwood floor, I saw him pull a knife from the block by the sink. Frowning, I gazed hard across the room as he dug the tip into his finger, but the blade didn't pierce his skin.

"Even if you were to try, Tommy, there's nothing you could do, yourself, to injure me. To change, you need a vampire's blood, and the only way to obtain such is through an open wound. Such wounds can only be self-inflicted or inflicted by another vampire," Adam hissed, placing the tip of his finger to his teeth, biting into it. He winced, but I saw red stain his lips. My heart thudded against my chest as I stared at his hand.

"There is no specific amount of blood needed, but a couple of mouthfuls should suffice," he muttered, making his way to me. His uninjured hand grabbed hold of my hair, tugging my head back. I cried out, allowing him the opportunity to slip his finger into my mouth. Lips sealing around the digit, I tasted his blood on the back of my tongue, the burn of venom setting ablaze the muscle.

I moaned, at first, at the taste, sucking tenderly on his finger like it was a piece of candy. It tasted like one until the venom coated my throat in a light, blazing layer, and I choked, pushing his hand away. It felt like someone had dumped acid down my throat. Hands shaking, I stumbled across the kitchen to the sink, feeling the bile rising before I vomited the contents of my stomach as well as the few drops of blood I'd acquired from Adam into the sink. His hands pushed my hair away and rubbed my back until I stopped puking.

"I refuse to subject you to this because of the pain it requires to undergo change. That burn you felt was only in one area. A change means you feel that _everywhere_… Your body rejected that little bit of venom, and it didn't even have time to reach your stomach, let alone your heart," he explained, helping me wash my mouth out. There was a lingering burn, but it wasn't unbearable.

"Not to mention, being a vampire— and a newborn, at that— involves thirst. Uncontrollable thirst. And the only thing to quench it is blood, Tommy. I will _not_ put you through this misery because it's not worth the immortality that it brings. It's not worth anything…" He said sadly, helping me away from the counter and the sink and into the living room where I could lay down. My head was spinning and I felt like I was going to be sick again, but I managed to hold out until I could lay down.

"Usually, when a person is bitten, venom is leaked into the bite from the fangs… But vampires can, essentially, turn off that little switch if they desire it. I have no desire to change you, so venom doesn't get into your blood," Adam explained, kneeling beside me, stroking my hair. "I will only ever change you if there is absolutely nothing else I can do to save you, first… But, please, don't go putting yourself into danger simply so I will.."

I whimpered softly, but I didn't speak. It felt like my vocal chords were just burned away. It hurt to swallow and breathe at first, so I just nodded weakly. Adam sighed heavily, climbing onto the couch, pulling me into his arms.

"I'm sorry I hurt you like that.. It was my intention to make a point, and I'm sorry that it had to be like that for you. I won't do it again but, please, don't ever ask me to change you.. I can't do it, Tommy. I just can't."


	32. Be Safe

**Late Saturday afternoon, 5:16 P.M.**

The phone call from Alex sent chills down my spine.

I hadn't heard from him in weeks. Almost months, actually. Ever since he'd called me about his missing boyfriend, Drake, I hadn't heard a word from Alex. No calls, no texts, no emails, voicemails, nothing. It had almost been like he dropped off the face of the planet. Don't get me wrong, I loved Alex dearly. He was like a brother to me and I cared about him, however he chose his cheating slop boyfriend over our friendship and I hadn't, really, forgiven him for it.

But despite the fact that I hadn't forgiven him entirely for the occurrence that happened months ago, Alex was still my best friend deep down. He was still the young boy I grew up knowing and the brother I'd always wanted to have. He was still Alex and I still loved him, and when I saw his name filling the screen of my phone, I felt my heart stop. I had half a mind to ignore the call, and another half to answer it. I wasn't sure, at first, which to listen to, but the pressing of the ACCEPT button made my decision, and I lifted the device to my ear.

"Hello?" I said. Alex was silent on the other end for a moment before speaking in a flat, lifeless voice.

"Tommy. How are you?" He asked, though the question didn't sound very sincere. It sounded off and wrong and not at all like Alex. Alex was always one to know the here and now, and the way he sounded made it sound like he was uninterested. I frowned softly, wrapping my free arm around my waist, leaning against the counter of the kitchen.

"I— I'm doing fine, thank you. Um.. W-what's going on with you, lately? I mean, I haven't heard from you in for-fucking-ever.." I murmured gently, lifting my gaze through the archway of the kitchen and out towards the empty living room. Adam was at some kind of a meeting with Monte today and wouldn't be home for a few hours, though he'd been really adamant to stay with me today. Though I would never admit it to Adam, it was nice to be home alone while he was off doing his music-career thing. I loved spending time with Adam, but we'd been together a lot lately and it was refreshing to get some time to myself.

"I apologize for that. I've been.. busy. How is Adam?" Blunt and straight to the point. That wasn't like Alex. He liked talking. He liked getting juicy details before giving his own. Alex was a socialist, not..this…

"Adam? Adam's— Adam's fine, why do you ask?" Another brief pause.

"Just curious." Frowning slightly more, I pushed off from the counter, crossing through the kitchen and into the dining slash living room, my socked feet sliding across the polished wood floor of the condo, virtually silent.

"I see," I stated softly, "So, um, what.. what did you call for?" I highly doubted Alex called to just say a quick and lifeless 'hey'. Usually, when he called, he needed something or wanted to do something. It was never just a conversation over the phone. Alex always felt that was impersonal. He liked being face to face. He liked feeling connected with the person that he was talking to. Some people might've considered that strange, but I didn't see anything wrong with it. But part of me felt that this over-the-phone conversation was better than being with him. The death of his voice made me uncertain and wary.

"Would you like to come over, Tommy? We haven't spent a whole lot of time together lately and I've found myself feeling.. rather lonely," Alex said simply, his voice even and strange, like he wasn't even really present with his own words; like he wasn't lonely at all, but merely used the idea as an excuse. I swallowed the lump in my throat, unsure if I really should trust him. Part of me wanted to though. He was my best friend, I could always trust him.. "What do you say? For old time's sake?"

I found myself speechless for a long moment, unsure of even what to think. First Alex doesn't say a word to me for weeks and suddenly he calls me up in the middle of the day and wants to hang out like nothing ever happened between us? I wanted to go, but I wanted to stay as well. I wanted to wait for Adam to come home but I wanted to go and see Alex. To see how he was doing, how he was holding up. Surely he must've suspected something more than just Drake disappearing. Surely he must've been hurting.

Biting down on my lower lip, I stared out of the windows to the city of Los Angeles below, the glow of street lights and club signs burning up into the sky, shooing away all the coming stars. The sun was dipping down below the western horizon and I let my eyes slip shut. "Yeah," I said, "Yeah, I'll be there. Just give me about twenty minutes."

"I'll be waiting." Click. Call terminated. End of conversation. Another chill coursed it way down my spine as I pulled my phone from my ear, gnawing on my bottom lip. I wasn't sure if this was a good idea or not, but I had to give it a try, right? I mean, Alex was my best friend after all. We may not have spoken much lately and we might've left on some poor terms, but we've known each other for years and it was the least that I could do to give into this bit of solace and pay him a short visit.

Sighing softly, I slid my phone into the pocket of my pants, running a hand through my hair before walking over to the back of the couch, shoving my feet into my shoes. There was a part of me that was nagging my conscious to think about this, truly, and not be so quick to jump into my car and drive to see Alex as fast as possible. I didn't want to think that there was anything wrong, but there was just that feeling, you know? That strangeness that says "wait". But what was there to be worried about? Maybe Alex was depressed and really wanted someone to hang out with, and that was why his voice was so flat. Maybe he just needs someone right now..

Maybe.

I bent down to re-lace my left shoe, for it was far looser than my right. Standing back up, I glanced around the condo before going to the coffee table to retrieve my car keys, pocketing them as I snatched my black and grey striped hoodie from the white bowl shaped chair that rested in the corner of the room. Tugging it on, I fixed the hood before smoothing out my hair, licking my lips as I crossed through to the hallway and down to the door.

I had just reached for the door handle, curling my fingers around it when my phone started to buzz in my pocket. Jumping a little, I fumbled through my pocket before pulling it out to see Adam's name flashing across the screen. Sighing softly, I pressed the ACCEPT button before holding my phone to my ear, pulling the door of our condo open and stepping out into the hallway.

"Hey, baby," I said softly, shutting the door behind me and locking it up.

"Hey, darling," a smile touched my lips, "we're gonna be done soon, I think Monte said sometime in the next half an hour or so. Want me to come pick you up for dinner when we're done?" I bit down on my lip as I walked down the long stretch of hallway, sighing softly.

"I'm actually on my way out.. Alex called and he wants to hang out for a little while." I explained to him.

"Oh, really?" Adam was trying to sound interest, if not happy, that was sure. But I could hear the tone of disappointment in his voice and I felt incredibly bad. "How is he?" I swallowed the lump from my throat as I turned the corner, making my way to the elevator.

"W-well… I think he's alright. He sounded kind of strange over the phone, but that might just be due to the depression since.. Since everything.." I trailed off, not really wanting to bring Drake up with Adam. It was a tender subject and I knew he hated talking about his late ex-boyfriend, so I tried to avoid it as often as possible. Adam hesitated over the phone for a moment before speaking again.

"I see. So..when do you think you'll be done?" I sighed quietly.

"I haven't a clue, Babyboy. But I'll call you as soon as I'm done and I'll be on my way home, and then we can go out and have a wonderful dinner, alright?" I could almost hear the smile in Adam's voice.

"Alright, Tommy. Be safe, okay?" I smiled softly, stepping into the elevator.

"I will, love. I'll call you soon."

"Okay, baby. I love you," Adam purred into the phone and I smiled a little more, heat washing over my face.

"I love you, too, Adam." I said before hanging up as the doors of the elevator slid shut. I pressed the button for the garage, feeling the car make its descent to the lower levels of the condo complex. I leaned against the metal-plated wall, sighing softly as my eyes slid shut. But it seemed that as my eyes closed, a sharp pain began to form behind my lids, and I cringed, pressing my palm to my forehead as something flashed behind them—

_Darkness—_

_It's cold in here. Like it was cold in the warehouse. Breath pluming and hanging thick like a fog around my face. I look over, and there's someone sitting in the chair across the room with his legs crossed. He's leaning against the back of the chair with his elbows on the arms, his fingers laced together in front of his face… _

_His skin is pale…_

Gasping softly, the pain vanished as the elevator dinged quietly and the door slid open. I blinked a few times, making my way out of the elevator, glancing back at it as the doors shut. What was that? Shaking my head a little, I turn away from the elevator as I cross the parking garage lot to my car, sitting in the shadows of the fading light from outside. Unlocking the driver's door, I slip into the seat, shutting it again before starting the car, the engine purring to a gentle life as Adam's CD plays gently from the stereo.

Going into reverse, I pull out of the spot, turning the wheel before speeding off down the length of the garage and out into the Los Angeles sunset soaked streets. I bit down on my bottom lip as I swerved in and out of different lanes, all of which were surprisingly empty for the most part. Los Angeles was always crowded, but not today. Today it was as if no one was out and about. They all stayed home..

_So should you…_ I twitched a little as a chill ran down my back and I sighed softly, leaning back against my seat, forcing myself to keep my eyes open as another sharp pain hit me..

_Dazzlingly bright green eyes.. Thick midnight hair gleaming in the darkness. How does it gleam in darkness? He's dressed in a pair of black pants and a deep green shirt, lowering his hands away from his face, the sharp angles and lines of his face standing out in prominent perfection, looking almost chiseled out of marble. Utterly perfect. _

_What's frightening is I know that face…_

My heart hammered in my chest as I panted softly, shaking head to toe in my seat as my hands turned the wheel of my car with a mind of their own. It was impossible. And it was just a figment of my imagination. There was no way that it was possible. It couldn't be. He couldn't have… No.. It wasn't true. It was my mind fucking with me.

And still, though, I drove on towards his apartment. To Alex's place as if the images in my mind had not just flashed over my sight, blinding me with their clear cut perfect detail. Still though, I drove on to his apartment though my mind was screaming at me to turn around and go home. I didn't want to believe that what had just happened was real, because it wasn't real. It wasn't real. Just like the dream I had of Adam dying wasn't real.

"Calm down, Tommy, calm down. It's not real, it's not real!" I hissed to myself, slamming my palm on the wheel to assure myself. It wasn't real. Still, I drove on.

"It's not real, Tommy. You're just fucking with yourself because you're freaked out for nothing. Sure, Alex drops off the Earth for fuck knows how long and suddenly he wants to hang out like you're cheeky best friends again, but Alex is not a fucking vampire…" The idea that my best friend was like Adam frightened me. If he was a vampire, who changed him? And why would they change him? For what purpose?

But why was I so concerned? It wasn't true. Alex wasn't a vampire, and the images were nothing more than imagination. They. Were not. Real. I grimaced, my hands tightening around the wheel as I squeezed my eyes shut again, groaning in pain. Though, just as quickly as I shut them I opened them again, not wanting to see anything more that my mind thinks is funny to imagine. Because it's not fucking funny.

Somehow I find myself parked in the space that I used to park in when I lived with Alex for that short while. I find myself sitting there, waiting, with the sun sinking behind the towering apartment complex, the shadows seeming thick and blacker than normal. Trembling, I reached to turn the key to cut the engine off, but I hesitated. It would be so easy to pull out of this spot and drive away and tell Alex that something else came up and that I couldn't go see him. But it would be just as easy to turn the car off and go up and make sure that my best friend was still human…

Clenching my jaw, I turned the key, pulling it from the ignition as I slid from the comfort of my car, shutting the door and locking it tight, staring up at Alex's door. My heart was slamming back and forth in my rib cage, but I forced myself to make the trek to the stone stairs on the south end of the apartment building, climbing them quickly before walking down the catwalk-thing towards his door. The sun seemed to sink lower and lower with every second, and I realized I had been standing outside of Alex's door long enough to let the sun sink beneath the trees behind the complex, letting darkness start its descent.

_Darkness_…

Stop it.

Inhaling deeply, I curled my hand into a fist, knocking on the door once…twice…thr— the door swung open slowly with a loud, eerie creak that you only ever heard in horror movies. I went rigid as the door opened, but there was no one standing there in the doorway. No Alex to greet me. No voice. No nothing. Just the darkness of the living room.

_Don't go in there. Don't do it. Adam told you to be safe…_

Biting on my lip, I took one step into the living room, letting out a heavy breath before walking through the door way, pushing the door shut. It creaked again, clicking softly. The windows were all draped shut and the furniture was still positioned the same way it had been the day I'd walked out of Alex's apartment after kicking his rotten boyfriend's ass. There was only one little difference between the last time I had been here and now—

Now, it was cold.

Licking my lips, I waited for my eyes to adjust, but it seemed that whenever they started to grow accustomed to the darkness, something would shift and change and I would be temporarily blind again. "Alex?" I called out into the room, feeling for the furniture and the walls. Another shift and my eye caught the other side of the room, the shape of a chair with a figure in it coming clearer to me.

My heart skipped beats.

"Alex?" I repeated, taking a step closer, mindful of the couch. The figure's head lifted and I took into account his position. Legs crossed. Elbows on the arms of the chair. Hands clasped together in front of his face. I took a step back, breathless. No. This wasn't possible. How could I have seen this before seeing it, really? The figure tilted its head to the side, its thick midnight colored hair swaying with the movement. The light from a car's head beams flashed through the curtains, illuminating ever so delicately the brightness of green eyes. Eyes that were once an ordinary emerald color and now were almost neon.. Chartreuse, even…

"Oh, God…" I whispered, taking a step back as Alex stood from the chair, seeming taller than me even from across the room. Just like in the images I had seen before coming here, Alex's figure let off this presence of malice and I trembled lightly, taking another step back. My heart was skipping beats so quick and often I was almost certain that it was going to stop on me at any moment.

"What's the matter, Tommy?" Alex questioned, his voice flat as ever but sounding crystal clear and chipped out of perfection. "Have you never seen a vampire before?" Alex's eyes blazed as he grinned, his fangs elongating just enough to hook over his bottom lip, gleaming in the faint and fading light.

I turned, trying to make my way to the door, but out of the shadows a second figure emerged. One that I had seen before. A figure with pale skin like Alex's and brilliant red hair, the tips fading into the dark by their black. I gasped softly, freezing instantly upon staring up into his brown eyes, which were gradually pooling into red. The figure reached forward with a large and thin white hand, his icy fingers curling around my throat and cutting off my air almost instantly. I gasped, clawing at his wrist, fear pooling in my stomach and on the back of my tongue as my eyes rolled back in my head, my hands falling away.


	33. Hauntingly Familiar

**Saturday night, 9:26 PM**

"Hey, baby… It's me. Um, don't know when you're gonna be home, but please let me know soon. I love you." Adam murmured gently, sighing heavily as he canceled the phone call, tucking the device back into his pocket. He hadn't expected Tommy to be home when he got there. Hell, he wasn't expecting Tommy for at least an hour, maybe two or so. But it had been over four hours since he'd called Tommy saying that he would be home soon. Four hours since Tommy had said that he was going to go out and spend some time with Alex.

Under normal circumstances, Adam wouldn't have been so concerned about Tommy spending time with his friend for several hours, but this was a little different. Between Tommy's vision of his death from a few days ago and the fact that Tommy had said Alex sounded strange over the phone left him feeling worried. He wasn't sure why, but he felt that there was something wrong, but he couldn't quite place what it was.

Sighing softly, Adam ran his fingers through his hair, staring hard at the wood flooring of the condo. He didn't like worrying. In fact, he really, really hated it. It made him feel like he was too protective of Tommy, like if he worried too much he would start restricting his Glitterbaby of the things he liked to do. And that was, perhaps, the one thing he swore to himself he would never do. Sure he could be a bit of an overpowering and possessive vampire boyfriend, but he didn't want to make Tommy feel inferior and weak and constantly needing to be baby'd and looked after.

Crossing through the living room and plopping down onto the sofa, Adam let out a soft groan, reclining a little into the cushions. He tucked one arm behind his head, letting his eyes slip shut as he relaxed into the plush leather comfort. His fingers toyed with the hem of the pocket of his jeans before sliding in, pulling his phone out. He knew he couldn't call or text Tommy so soon after his last one, but he wanted to be ready in case his Glitterbaby finally got back to him.

Letting his phone rest on his thigh with his palm over it, Adam began to drift, letting his mind wander. The nice thing about being a telepath was that when he really let himself relax, he was able to tap into a much broader spectrum of energy. When he relaxed, Adam was able to focus on the thoughts and voices all around him for miles and miles. For his age as a vampire, he had incredible control on his abilities, but by no means was he a master.

Inhaling deeply, Adam felt himself slip under, wandering out of himself down through the condo, hearing whispers of unspoken thoughts between lovers and raging curses from people on the streets. He could feel his soul stretching out and beyond from the condo, across a main stretch of Los Angeles towards the apartments he'd taken Tommy to only once before. Breathing deep and soft, Adam pushed himself more, shoving aside the thoughts of those he didn't have patience or time to focus on, reaching out further.

Biting his bottom lip, he reached into the apartment, searching for Tommy's subconscious. But even as he filtered through the apartment complex as efficiently as he could, he couldn't seem to trace his Glitterbaby out. He couldn't even find anyone who might have seen Tommy entering or leaving the building, which was strange. Sighing softly, Adam frowned a little, digging further into the complex, hoping to find—

"Adam." Jerking, Adam's conscious and inner being retracted, snapping back into himself as his eyes flew open. He dropped his phone on the floor, whipping around to see a familiar woman with curly brown hair and a bemused expression. Adam sighed heavily, running his fingers through his hair as several things clattered either onto tables or onto the floor around him.

"You know something, you'd think after my instruction and a few years of efficient practice, you would have been able to at least sense someone entering your home. If not that, you could at least work on making the objects in your vicinity stay in one place while you stretch your conscious thin and wide across Los Angeles." Lynn explained and Adam shook his head. It was true, though. Whenever he did a mass read, trying to find someone, small objects like books, lamps, bowls, sometimes even chairs had a tendency of floating off the floor, levitating in the air until he came back to himself.

"I'm sorry… I was just.. trying to read Tommy." He replied, sighing heavily as exhaustion pounded into his head. Massive reads like he'd just done were always a tiring task, leaving him emotionally and physically drained.

"Why? I would have thought he'd be here with you?" Lynn questioned, walking around the sofa and sitting down beside him, her hands folded in her lap. Adam shook his head again, rubbing at his eyes for a moment before bending down to pick up his phone.

"He went to hang out with a friend of his, but that had been four hours ago. He told me he'd call me and let me know what was going on, but I haven't heard anything. I've tried calling and texting him, but I haven't been able to get a hold of him, so I tried to read him." Lynn nodded once and Adam sighed, glancing over at her. "But why are you here?"

"It's hard to ignore when you feel your pupil poking around in your head before shoving your thoughts away." Adam groaned softly. Another problem with mass reads was that he wasn't always focused on every person's subconscious that he touched. Sometimes he managed to reach other vampires without knowing it and, unlike humans, they were able to feel him, a telepath, nudging around their heads.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to.. rudely intrude upon you. I was just trying to find him." Adam muttered gently, setting his phone down on the table. Lynn nodded once, staring out the window of the condo.

"Have you tried actually driving out to find him? Maybe his phone died or something?" Adam shook his head softly.

"No I haven't yet. And maybe it did, but I couldn't.. I couldn't read him. He wasn't at his friend's apartment. And if he was, something or someone was blocking him from me. But I don't know of anyone who's ever been able to block me." Adam told her, looking back into her large brown eyes. She nodded once, biting down on her bottom lip a little bit.

"Has he had any visions lately?" Adam shook his head. "Do you not know? Or has he not told you?" Clenching his jaw, Adam looked away. He was pretty sure that, if Tommy were to have another vision, the blond would tell him. The blond would always tell him. And even if Tommy didn't tell him right away, he would be able to read it. Tommy was a bit of an open book and sometimes forgot that Adam could hear and see his thoughts as if they had been spoken or played out before him. But there had been nothing.

"No. He hasn't. Besides, I would've known if he had, and you should know that better than anyone else." He told her and Lynn chuckled softly.

"That's true. You always had a fascination for poking around in my head whenever I let my guard down around you." True, Adam didn't know of anyone who could block him. Anyone other than Lynn, that was. She was a bit of a telepath as well, and had trained Adam on many occasions to break through her barriers and get into her head.

"But tonight it was different. It wasn't really like anyone was blocking me. It was like Tommy wasn't at the apartment. Like he'd left or he'd been moved or something!" Adam explained, running his fingers through his hair again.

"Have you talked to Joshua lately?" Lynn inquired and Adam frowned.

"No. Of course I haven't. Not since he stormed out the last time he was here. I mean, I have no reason or desire to speak with him. He thinks my relationship with Tommy is a fucked up mess and he wants to be my mate. I don't want that. I want Tommy, and I made that clear to him. And he didn't like that."

"Is it possible that he could have been…taken?" Lynn suggested and Adam froze. It had always been a fear of his, ever since Joshua's retaliation because of Adam's rejection to him. He feared that, one day, Tommy would be gone. He didn't want to think of it as a possibility now, but it wasn't so far-fetched. Tommy had been missing for hours, he wasn't answering any calls or texts, and when Adam tried to read him at the apartment, he wasn't there.

Sighing softly, Adam stood from the couch, crossing towards the window to look out over the city. If Tommy had been taken, and it was connected to Joshua in some fashion or another, he was going to rip the redhead to shreds, no doubt. Joshua had always been his trusted and beloved friend, but after their falling out, Adam had found little in the ways to love the bartender. "I don't know… It might be, but I don't want to think so." He said.

"I know that, Adam. But we have to take it into consideration. Joshua wants to be with you, and the only thing standing in the way of that… is Tommy. He could have taken him as an act of vengeance and bait…" Lynn said quietly and Adam bit down on his bottom lip. Images of Joshua holding his beloved Glitterbaby captive, torturing him and… God. He shook his head a little bit, looking back to her.

"I don't want to think about that, Lynn… Please, don't tell me that's a possibility…"

"I'm sorry Adam, but you know it's as real of a chance as I do. Tommy could be missing and it could be Joshua's fault." Hissing softly, Adam glared at her.

"No!"

"If you don't believe me, then go to the apartment. Go look for yourself, Adam. Stop trying to read all of Los Angeles and stop waiting for a phone call like a little puppy waiting for his master to come home. If you care about him and love him so much, go fucking look for him!" Lynn shouted, gesturing angrily towards the condo door. Adam inhaled deeply, crossing to the coffee table to grab his phone. He pocketed it quickly, zooming down towards the door. Pulling it open he shot down the hall like a massive white and black blur, racing down the stair well instead of taking the elevator. He had no patience for the elevator.

Racing out of the condo complex and down the street, Adam found himself thankful for the dark cover of the night to keep him shadowed. Each leap and bound through the alleys and shrouded streets was another closer and closer to the apartment complex that Alex lived in. Another closer to finding out if he had been waiting in vain this whole time. He wanted so dearly to prove to Lynn that she was wrong. He wanted to go in and find Tommy there, having a nice laugh with Alex and sharing some excuse about his phone being dead.

How he wanted it so…

Cutting across the streets, Adam slowed to a stop as he stared up at the apartment building. Most of the rooms were lit with singles, couples and families all gathered together for their Saturday night. Others were dark with sleep or vacancy. Inhaling deeply, Adam could detect Tommy's scent coming from the building, his car parked out front. Racing up the stairs, Adam hurried down towards the front door of the apartment. Inhaling deeply, he reached for the knob, testing it and finding it open.

The apartment was empty upon stepping inside. It was dark and cold, and reeked of various smells. Alcohol, expired food, Tommy's body wash and general scent. There was a scent that he wasn't sure of, but he was definitely positive that it wasn't human. A vampire, certainly, but he didn't recognize it. That along, terrified him. And, yet, beneath all of that was something else. Something hauntingly familiar. Adam pushed the door shut to block out the odor of Los Angeles streets and inhaled again. So familiar. He breathed again, shifting through the mental library of scents and tastes of blood he could remember before gasping softly.

Joshua.

"No…"


	34. You Ruined Everything

**Late Saturday night, 11:31 PM**

Groaning softly, my eyes fluttered open and I forced my head up from the hanging position it had been in. There was a pounding in my head that made me squint a little in pain, but I pushed it aside as I opened my eyes further to look around. It was nearly useless, though. Wherever I was at was pitch dark, with only a light above my head to make me glow.

I frowned a little, glancing down. I was sitting in a chair in the middle of a room with concrete floors. Well, sitting wasn't exactly the right word. I was _tied_ to the chair, my hands bound behind the back of the chair with something that felt like rope. My heart pounded a little in my chest and I tugged at the bindings, finding them tight and rough. Grimacing a little as the rope rubbed into my skin, I tried looking around in hopes of making out any sort of details, though there were none to be seen. The light didn't stretch much beyond where I was, and the contrast of light and dark made it hard to see more than five feet ahead of me.

Looking down again, I noticed that my shoes and socks were missing. Frowning a little, I brought my feet closer together, rubbing them to get some semblance of warmth back into my toes. It was cold. Not unbearable, but it was definitely uncomfortable— wait… I glanced up again, my heart skipping a beat. The pool of light above me. The chair and the rope. My missing shoes.. I glanced down again at the concrete floor, seeing stains positioned exactly as I had seen them before. But where had I seen this before—?

My dream.

Oh, God… This couldn't have been happening. My dream couldn't have been real. If it was, that meant Adam was here. And Adam being here meant that.. That dawn was approaching. And Adam was hurt. And, soon, he.. I bit down on my bottom lip, squeezing my eyes shut as I tugged at the rope bindings around my wrists again. But, if anything, it seemed to draw them tighter. This couldn't be happening, because if it was it meant Adam was going to die. I was going to watch him burn in the light and I would lose him forever…

Whimpering quietly, I panted softly, trying my hardest to get the rope off. As I tugged, I watched my breath pluming in fog around my face, and my heart skipped several beats. The cold. The rope. The chair and the light and the stains on the floor. Biting down on my bottom lip, I tugged again and again in vain before letting out a disappointed breath, slumping back into the chair a little bit. By no means did I have any intention of giving up, but a part of me knew that I wasn't going to be able to get the rope off.. It was just too tight.

I dropped my head, staring down at the floor. This was all my fault. If I hadn't answered Alex's call, I wouldn't have gone to his apartment. I wouldn't have walked through that door and I wouldn't have realized that what I had seen at the condo was actually… going to happen. I wouldn't have been brought here… Biting my lip, I fought a soft whimper of fear. If this was happening, where was Adam? Was he already here? Was he on his way? What was going to happen to me? To Adam?

"Poor little human boy…" A voice whispered close to my ear and I jerked, snapping my head to the left to see who was beside me. But there was nothing in the darkness. Nothing to see other than shifting shadows and dust particles being blown around by the cold of the air. My heart pounded a little harder in my chest as the sound of boots clacked across the concrete floor. I whipped my head around, trying to pinpoint the source of the sound when a shape began to emerge in front of me.

The figure, himself, had long lean legs clad in black jeans, his boots tucked beneath the pants. He wore a deep red shirt with long sleeves rolled around his elbows, the buttons undone by the collar and pulled open a touch, exposing pearly white flesh. I gasped softly as he stepped forward, the black tips of his hair hanging around his shoulders, burning up into a brilliant red near his scalp. His eyes were a deep, cruel brown, glaring hard into my very being.

"Poor, poor dependent human boy.." He hissed, standing just in the edge of darkness from the light. It was hard to breathe while staring up at him. Underneath the fear that I harbored for this man, I could not deny that he wasn't beautiful. The perfection of the lines of his face and the set of his jaw to the power he held in his body, he was breathtaking. By no means was he as beautiful as Adam, but he came to a close second.

He stepped closer, the light pooling around his body and making him glow. His red hair looked like fire beneath the burn of the bulb as he reached out, digging his nails into my shoulders. I gasped softly in pain, staring up at him with wide eyes as he leaned close, raging pools of red-brown staring deep into my panicked chocolate. "What is so special about a needy, weak human boy that he betrays his own kind and loyal friend?"

"W-who are you?" I whispered, having a hard time finding my voice. The man smirked, pulling away from me. He turned his back, slinking a little back into the darkness.

"Who am I? I'm almost offended that Adam never spoke of me. But then again, why should he? I was just a friend, just a little baby bottle whenever he needed a drink…" He trailed off, folding his hands behind his back as he turned to face me, half-shadowed half-lit. "Let's just say that I'm someone you shouldn't have messed with, stupid boy."

"How have I messed with you? I don't even know you!" I said, my voice a little louder than before. The man glared down at me, stepping back into the pool of light which I sat beneath, leaning close to me.

"You stole him… With your beating heart and your warm blood.. You stole _my _Adam…" He snarled and I frowned, staring up at him.

"I stole him? For your information, he fell in love with me. I never stole anything from you. You must've been too weak to hold on to him!" I hissed and his eyes widened in anger before I felt a burning, agonizing pain in my cheek. I howled, wishing to bring my hand up to cup my face, but I couldn't. I leaned to the side from the blow, bound to the chair with pain washing across my face and down my neck a little. I heard a soft hiss and the rush of something moving through the air before a second man stood next to the first.

"Joshua! You promised me he wouldn't get hurt!" I gasped softly, tears rolling down my face from pain as I looked back up at the two men. I knew that voice. I knew that voice better than anyone. And for the first time, that voice sounded the way I always remembered it and not the way it had sounded over the phone and in the apartment.

I couldn't speak as I stared up at Alex, taking in every detail of his changed appearance. In the dark of the apartment I hadn't really noticed much, but in this lighting I could see it all. He still had some of his boyish looks, but the angles and lines of his face were defined and sharp, making him look older and mysterious. His eyes were a brighter green than they used to be, hard with disbelief and anger.

Joshua must have been the name of the redhead. He turned slowly, staring Alex down with burning eyes that swirled red, and Alex backed away a step, fear showing in his eyes. "Hush your mouth, stupid child." Joshua snarled and Alex bit down on his bottom lip, staring hard up at him before looking away like an obedient dog.

"Alex…?" I whispered, pain wracking my face again as I spoke. His gaze shifted over to meet mine, apologetic and regretful. "Alex… w-why..?" My voice cracked in pain and betrayal. Of all of the people who could have done this, the last person I expected was Alex. He'd always been so loving and loyal and to look up at him no longer as my human best friend but now as a vampire… And a traitor… It made my heartbreak.

"Tommy.. you wouldn't understand…" He said softly, looking away from me. I watched Joshua roll his eyes before he raised his hand, gentle reaching over and touching Alex's cheek. Alex flinched a little, his eyes snapping over to Joshua as the redhead spoke softly, his voice swirling with allure and sugary-sweet cunning.

"Who are you talking to, Alex? There's no one here… Go back to the main room and wait there for me, okay?" Joshua smiled a touch and I watched with shock and rage as Alex's eyes clouded over, his face taking on the blankest expression I'd ever seen before as he turned away, disappearing into the dark of the room we were in.

"What did you do to him?" I howled, tugging at the ropes again, forgetting about the pain in my cheek. Joshua was turned away from me, watching Alex go before he spun back slowly, glaring down at me in the shadows.

"Sending him away… He causes too much trouble when he doesn't listen…" Joshua growled, turning to face me completely. "And in keeping him here, he would only push things back further and further for me."

"Then why did you fucking change him? Why did you take his humanity away!" I shouted at him and Joshua bared his teeth at me, his eyes burning with a fire that wanted release to kill me, I knew. But that didn't make me back down in the least. I glared right back at him, staring into his eyes.

"I took nothing. He gave it to me." I clenched my jaw.

"I don't believe you." I hissed at him and Joshua threw his head back, barking a maniacal laugh that sent chills down my spine. I squeezed my hands into fists, inhaling deeply through my nose as I gazed upon him until his laughter died to soft chuckles.

"Believe or don't believe whatever you wish, insolent boy. He's mine now. And by the end of this night, Adam will be, too." I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

"Keep dreaming, Joshua. Adam will never go back to you after this. If you believe that having me tied up and beaten here is going to win back his affections, you're going to find that you're horribly mistaken." I retaliated and Joshua's nostrils flared with a breath as he shot forward, his hand wrapping around my throat and pushing my head back so that I stared straight up at him, fighting for air as he squeezed.

"Oh, but I will… Adam and I have a history, you know. Before you came along and ruined everything for me, Adam was mine. We had a connection that you could never imagine. His relationship with that spitfuck Cajun was nothing more than a fluke compared to what we had. But then you…" Joshua murmured, sliding his hand away from my throat to palm my uninjured cheek. I clenched my jaw, glaring at him. "You came along.. You with your pretty brown eyes and your big lips.." He trailed his fingers down my face, catching my lip with a nail and ripping it open on the side. I hissed, pulling my head from his grip.

"You ruined everything I built with Adam. You ruined everything for me and now I'm going to ruin everything for you…"

"I ruined it for you? I hardly doubt that.. You probably ruined it for yourself with your possessive, creeper attitude. Thinking that you own Adam and you can control him like you control Alex? You're nothing but a pathetic waste!" I hissed, feeling a little bold. Perhaps too bold…

Joshua's hand curled back around my throat and he squeezed tighter than ever before, leaning close to me. So close I could smell his breath, the blood and the venom tickling my nose. "I could kill you right now. I could easily snap your neck or squeeze the breath out of you. Hell, I could even punch a hole into your chest and rip your heart out right in front of you, let you watch its final beats as the light fades from your eyes…" My heart skipped a beat at the idea of death at Joshua's hands, but I pushed the fear aside.

"But I won't…" He muttered, pulling his hand away, and I frowned. "Because that would ruin all of my plans for the coming hours…" He whispered, smirking just a touch.

"What plans?" I asked, caught between wanting to know and wanting to shy away from what he would say. And I found myself regretting my decision as his smirk grew.

"Have you ever see a vampire burn, Tommy?"


	35. Be Mine Forever

**Early Sunday morning, 4:34 AM**

"_Hello?" He said. His heart would have been pounding heavily in his chest if it weren't for the fact that it was frozen in death within him. The caller ID had been blank on his phone, and under normal circumstances he wouldn't have answered it. But the situation was dire, and if it was someone of importance, he needed to take it._

"_Hello, Adam." The curiosity and the fear that had been lodged like a tight and angry rubber ball in his throat dissipated, only to be replaced by incomprehensible odium for the speaker on the other end of the line._

"_Joshua." Adam hissed, clenching the phone tightly in his hand to the point that if he were to even twitch he would break it. Joshua chuckled softly, and Adam could paint the fucker's smirk in his mind, hauntingly cruel; mocking him, almost. There was a moment of silence between them before Joshua spoke, his voice soft and serene with a touch of allure beneath it. On the edge of being sincere._

"_How are you, Adam?" Adam clenched his jaw, gritting his teeth so hard he was sure he could feel them breaking apart into tiny pieces in his mouth, settling like dust on his tongue._

"_I'll be better once I have Tommy back and I've ripped you to shreds." He growled, staring hard at the floor. Joshua clicked his tongue to the roof of his mouth a few times, and Adam could picture him shaking his head a little in disappointment._

"_Oh, Adam.. always willing to go out in a fight for a silly human boy… Would you like to talk to him?" Adam froze, his eyes widening a little bit. The hand holding the phone trembled just slightly and he let out a soft breath._

"_Yes.. Please…" He whispered, letting his eyes slip shut as Joshua laughed at him from the other end. _

"_Begging doesn't suit you, Adam. It makes you sound weak and pathetic.. But I'll grant you this—" Joshua's words were cut abruptly before there was a soft panting sound and a panicked voice that could only belong to Tommy speaking to him._

"_Adam?" Venomous tears stung Adam's eyes and he choked a little. "Adam? Baby…?"_

"_I'm here, Tommy, I'm here.." He said back, "I'm going to get you out of there, I swear, Tommy…"_

"_No, Adam, don't! It's a—" Silence. Adam froze._

"…_Tommy? Baby!" _

"_I'm sorry, Adam… Tommy's not available right now," there was a harsh thump followed by a pained groan and silence, "He's… indisposed at the moment." Adam growled, baring his teeth to no one._

"_I swear to God, if you lay a fucking hand on him, I'm gonna—"_

"_Ah, ah, ah, Adam.. Empty threats aren't going to get him back, you know. But if you're so desperate to have him safe and..sound, so to speak, come to the Wallaceberg Incorporate warehouse, thirty miles south west, beyond the train tracks. Come alone. Oh, and hurry, Adam. I don't think his pretty face can take much more before it's unrecognizable." Click. Call ended._

He hadn't been able to trace Joshua's scent past the apartment. With the odors of Los Angeles back streets and city life as well as whatever clever tactics Joshua had used to cover himself, Adam had lost the traces of his once-blood brother's smell almost instantly.

He had called Lynn, as well. He told her the location Joshua spoke of and the fact that he needed to go alone. She wasn't happy about that second part, but they both knew they didn't have time to argue about it. She told him that she would call Vix— a lifelong friend of them both— for back up, in case it was necessary. Adam suggested she bring blood as well. He wasn't sure of the outcome, but he knew it would be messy.

There was a part of him telling himself to, at least, kill a decent sized animal and get a quick drink before going, but there was a timer in his head that was ticking. Ticking away the minutes he had to save Tommy, ticking away the short expanse of time until dawn approached. He wasn't sure why Joshua waited to call him until half past four in the morning, but he wasn't going to try and tear it apart in his mind. He didn't have the time for it.

Instead, he called Lynn. He told her he was going out to the warehouse.

"Adam, you can't be serious. I know Joshua told you to go alone, but can't you wait just five minutes?" Adam growled softly, knotting his fingers into his hair as he paced back and forth in his condo. He'd left Alex's apartment and gone home to think for a moment. With his thinking done, the only thing left on his mind was Tommy, Tommy, Tommy. And ripping Joshua apart.

"I can't, Lynn. Tommy could be dying right now. Hell, for all I know he could be dead!" He hissed, his throat closing up in agony at the idea. "I don't have five minutes. I don't even really have one. I'm going, and you and Vix will just have to catch up." He barked, venomous tears stinging his eyes again.

"Adam…" She sighed softly, "Have you fed recently?" Adam swallowed the lump in his throat.

"No. But I'll be fine."

"Adam," she snarled, "go out and feed. If you don't have your strength, Joshua's just gonna knock you down over and over. You're useless to Tommy's survival if you don't." She explained. Adam knew she was right, because she was always right, but he didn't have time. He didn't have patience.

"I'll be fine, Lynn. I can handle Joshua." He told her. Lynn sighed on the other end of the line, no doubt wanting to pull her hair out from the roots.

"Alright, fine. Go. I'll… Vix and I will be there as soon as we can, okay?"

"Okay." He started to pull the phone away to end the call when Lynn's voice stopped him.

"Adam?" He put it back to his ear.

"Yes?" Lynn hesitated for a moment before whispering, her voice unsure and more frightened than Adam had ever heard before.

"Be careful."

"I will."

He ran.

The whole distance from his condo to the warehouse, with the clock ticking in his mind, he ran. Racing down through the dark alley streets, leaping over buildings as fast as his supernatural abilities could take him. He breathed easily, pumping his arms at his sides as he shot down across the empty paved road, getting away from the city lights and cars and people. His boots were light, airy and almost soundless against the dirt as he shot away from the road, heading southwest as Joshua had told him.

Sure, he could have driven to the warehouse. But running was faster than driving recklessly, and no one would see him. No one would try to follow him this way, other than maybe Lynn and Vix. But he wasn't sure that they were following him— not yet. He couldn't read them within a mile's radius, and after a while he gave up trying to read anything at all. He focused in on the ever decreasing distance between him and Joshua.

Adam skidded to a stop beside a tree, breathing lightly. In truth, he really didn't need the air, he could function perfectly well without it. But it was habit from his human life. It made him feel like less of a monster and more of the person that he used to be. Before all of this fucked up madness. Before Brad lost control. He clenched his jaw, leaning heavily against the bark. God, Brad.. Where was Brad? How was he doing?

'_You don't have time for this, Adam. Move!_' Pushing away from the tree, Adam raced down through the barren land of sand and rock, far from Los Angeles. He wasn't sure where he was but he knew where he was going. Southwest to Wallaceberg Incorporate warehouse, past the train tracks. There were always train tracks…

Ten minutes to five am, Adam slowed to a walk, staring up at a large metal and glass, almost hangar-sized building. Wallaceberg Inc. was written across the top in clean-cut edged black paint with white trim set against the bleak gray shine of the metal itself. The dark of the night sky was cutting away to a soft, early morning blue. Adam inhaled deeply, glancing down at the front door. He faced the south, which mean the door faced north.

Taking tentative steps forward, Adam made his way to the entrance of the warehouse, glancing up at all of the windows as he went, checking to see if anyone lurked within them to stare down upon him. Sighing softly, he returned his attention to the door, gripping it in his icy palm before turning and pushing it open. The room beyond was dark, bleakly furnished with a small desk to the left and a three-seat sofa to the right against the wall. There was another door straight across, white against white walls.

Licking his lips, Adam stepped forward, listening for the softest sounds of feet and breath and movement, only to hear there was none other than his own. He reached for the doorknob, turning it and pushing the slab of wood open to reveal the main area of the warehouse.

Concrete floors stretched all around. The actual warehouse, itself, was empty. As if recently cleared of its stored, or perhaps abandoned not too long ago. The walls were stucco, chipped away here and there in the cracks and corners. The ceilings were high, topped with a metal roof. Adam let out a breath, finding it to plume in front of his face. He didn't feel cold, but if he could visibly see his breath, then it had to have been at least twenty or thirty degrees.

Frowning, Adam turned to the left, seeing a large white-painted metal door. The ones that slide up along the wall to let in large loads. To the right, the warehouse was dark. But darkness did not matter. About forty feet away he could see a shape of a figure, slumped over on a chair with arms tucked behind the back. Adam gasped, seeing Tommy's blond hair, striped sweater and black jeans.

"Tommy…" Adam whispered, rushing over to the blond. Tommy didn't stir— he had to have been knocked out. "Tommy!" Adam said again, taking another step closer when a hand grabbed the back of his shirt, hauling him away from his Glitterbaby. Adam cried out as he went flying before landing against the concrete, the stone cracking beneath his marble-like body.

Groaning softly, Adam sat up, staring back towards his baby, only to find a young vampire with black hair and startling green eyes standing behind him, one pale hand threaded through Tommy's hair, pulling his head back and the other slapped over his mouth Tommy's eyes were open wide with pain, a grimace on his lips as he looked over to Adam, his eyes widening further. '_Get out of here, Adam! Get out! It's a trap!_'

"I feel offended, Adam," a voice hissed in front of him as Joshua stepped into his line of sight, towering above him. "you never mentioned me to Tommy, and now you come to rescue him on an empty stomach.. You're just as weak as he is." Joshua snarled. Adam hissed, trying to get back to his feet, but the redhead slammed his boot against Adam's chest, pinning him back down again with a dull _thump_.

Growling, Adam reached for Joshua's ankle, clenching it tightly and trying to throw him off. The bartender hissed, kicking Adam's hand away and back to the floor before slamming the heel of his boot into Adam's wrist. The singer howled, arching upward in pain. It was true, he was weak, and Joshua had the smell of a fresh hunt on him. He was at his best. Adam twitched his fingers, whimpering softly in pain. No doubt the bones in his hands and wrist were cracked or even crushed. They would heal with given time.

Joshua lifted his boot from Adam's hand, stepping away from him as the black haired singer cradled it against his chest, rolling onto his side. "More than the offense you've done me, I'm rather disappointed in you. You're so preoccupied with finding your precious Tommy that you're not even going to take the time to take care of yourself, first…" Joshua trailed off, standing over Adam. Adam glared up at the redhead, hissing and spitting at him.

"Fuck off… I'm here for Tommy. And once I know he's safe, I'll fucking deal with you.." Adam snarled, trying to sit up again. Joshua sighed, rolling his eyes and slamming his boot back into Adam's chest, holding him down against the floor. Adam bared his teeth, hissing and clawing at the bartender's leg. Yelping some, Joshua's foot lifted and Adam tucked in on himself, rolling away before clamoring back up onto his feet, careful of his injured hand. He glanced back to Tommy and who he could only guess to be Alex. Twenty feet away.

"I'll give you the benefit of this, Adam. You're quick. You're not afraid to fight dirty and get down to the nitty-gritty basics of vampire strengths. You're aggressive and so passionate when you fight," Joshua commented, smirking some, "I guess that's something I've always loved about you.." Adam growled, lunging forward to claw at Joshua again, but the redhead side-stepped him, slamming his fist against Adam's spine, just below his neck. Adam went rigid, slamming down and sliding along the concrete floor, now only ten feet from Tommy.

Moaning in pain, Adam sat up a little, leaning on his elbow as he stared up at Joshua. The redhead's eyes were burning with a mix of red in their chocolate haze, his hair curtaining his face perfectly. A snarl was set into his lips as he stared down at Adam. "This could have been avoided, Adam. You know this as well as I do. All you had to do was take me, make me yours for all eternity, and we wouldn't be here. We wouldn't be fighting like this, you and I. Tommy could have lived a happier life with another human, away from all of this pain." There was a muffled whine and Adam glanced back at Tommy, staring into his baby's beautiful brown eyes.

'_Don't listen to him, Adam. I choose to be with you, always. You know that!_' Tommy's voice was loud and clear in his head and he gasped softly, feeling Joshua's hand curling around his chin in a delicate, gentle hold, turning his attention back to him. Adam stared at the redhead, into the brown eyes of his blood-brother. His friend…

"We can still make this right, Adam," Joshua whispered, smiling sweetly, his hand caressing Adam's cheek. His eyes were glistening brightly in the darkness of the warehouse, swirling with love and tender care, "all you have to do is take me. Love me like you loved the others before me. Love me… Only me… Until the end of time." There was something so pure, so gentle and sincere about Joshua's voice. Adam's brain felt muddled and confused, wanting to curl into Joshua's arms and just say "yes".. He leaned into Joshua's touch, opening his mouth to let that three lettered word drip from his tongue. He wanted it—

'_Don't, Adam!_' Tommy shouted to him. Adam groaned softly, pushing his voice away.

"I…" Adam whispered as Joshua leaned closer, pressing his lips to the singer's. Adam moaned softly, shivering as Joshua's tongue slid over his lips and teasingly into his mouth. He wanted to pull the redhead closer, let the kiss devour him entirely. He tasted Joshua's tongue and lips and he moaned again, pleasure firing through his body.

'_Adam! Stop! This is a trick! Please, don't listen to him!_' Groaning softly, Adam shoved the voice away again. He knew the voice, itself, sounded familiar but he couldn't place a name or a face to the sound. Still, though, as much as he shoved it away, it lingered more in his soul than it did his mind, making him want to call back…

'_Submit to me, Adam.._' Joshua's voice cooed in his head and Adam shivered again, whining quietly as the redhead pulled away from their kiss, leaving him wanting. Needing.

"Just say yes, Adam… There will be no pain. No worries or restrictions. Just you and me, baby. Forget about everyone else. Be mine… _forever_." Joshua whispered, kissing him gently again. Adam's mind was filled with endless nights buried in Joshua's arms, touching and kissing him and being forever in love. Forever happy. Forever without fear of hurting Joshua, because Joshua was just like him. Forever…

"…y-ye—"

'_Adam! Don't! Please, listen to me! Listen to your heart, Adam! You don't want this! Adam, please! I love you! I need you, please!_' The words cut through to him like a hot knife through butter. Adam blinked once, stopping himself from finishing the word. He stared at Joshua, so close to him that he could see every emotion and desire playing out in the bartender's eyes, adding show to the thoughts in his head.

'_Say it, Adam. Say yes. Be mine and forget Tommy._' Adam kept his face calm and straight, keeping the look of love and need as best as he could in his eyes as he reached out to touch Joshua's skin. The redhead turned towards it, purring quietly. '_Forget Tommy. Be mine._'

'_Be mine._' Adam leaned forward, pressing his lips to Joshua's ear, feeling the redheaded vampire shivering beside him. Despite the pain in his hand and wrist, Adam's hands slid, one to take Joshua's hand, the other to caress his neck gently. Joshua trembled, moaning quietly as his thoughts tumbled over one another again and again. '_Be mine, only mine… Forever. Forget Tommy. Submit. Be. Mine._'

'_Forget Tommy._' Joshua whispered.

'_Adam… I love you…_'

"Never." Adam hissed, curling his hand around Joshua's throat as tight as he could. The redhead gasped, trying to claw at Adam. Adam tightened his grip around Joshua's hand, breaking the bones in his fingers and his palm, bending his arm back as another sickening _crack_ sounded in the warehouse. Joshua howled, spitting venom in Adam's face. Hissing again, Adam shoved him down, slamming his head into the concrete.

"Who the fuck do you think you are? Getting into my head like that, bending my will to yours? Forget Tommy— that's what you were telling me. My mind might go crazy and I might lose myself.. you might make me forget him up here," Adam tapped his head, "but there's one thing you must know… My _soul_… and my _heart_ will never forget Tommy.. You will _never_ have me.." Adam hissed, clawing at Joshua's face, his nails raking across the marble flesh. Joshua screamed, kicking Adam off as hard as he could, sending the younger vampire tumbling across the floor.

Joshua shot to his feet, tackling Adam, his knees holding his arms down, hands curled tight around his throat. '_Adam!_' Tommy shouted, and Adam glanced to the blond, seeing him struggling against whatever was holding him to the chair and Alex, whose eyes were glazed and distant, no doubt under the same hypnotic spell Joshua had tried to use on him.

"If I can't, no one will. Especially not a pathetic waste like a human…" Joshua growled, the angry cuts on his face bleeding lightly, stretched across his lips and cheeks, along his forehead and over his right eye. Pulling something from the inside pocket of the jacket he was wearing, Joshua raised the object in his hand to admire. Adam stared up at him, hard, as the redhead pressed the barrel of a handgun to his temple. "I could blow round after round into you head all day long and it will do nothing… Mundane weaponry has no effect on us superior folk…" Joshua said gently, lifting the gun away from his head. Adam struggled to get the redhead off, but Joshua didn't budge.

"No… Only a vampire could kill another vampire," Joshua said, sliding his palm up Adam's chest, letting it rest against his collarbones. There was a moment of still silence before Adam felt Joshua's nails digging in through his shirt and into his skin, deeper and deeper before he dragged his hand down, cutting jagged and angry claw marks into Adam's chest. Howling, Adam bucked Joshua off of him, panting heavily as blood poured from the five cuts in his skin.

"While a gun cannot hurt us… It has a different effect on humans, no?" Standing up, Joshua snarled, a smirk playing at his lips as Adam gasped, half in pain half in shock. Joshua turned his attention towards Tommy, still held back and muted by Alex. Adam's eyes widened some and he dragged himself closer to Joshua, clawing at his ankle. Growling in pain, Joshua whipped around and kicked Adam in the face, his boot dragging across his mouth and ripping a gash into his lips.

"What did I tell you, Adam? This could have been avoided!" Joshua shouted, grabbing Adam's throat and effortlessly dragging him towards Tommy. "Move, Alex," Joshua hissed and the green eyed vampire dropped his hold from the blond. Gasping, Tommy looked over to them with wide brown eyes.

Joshua forced Adam down to his knees, bleeding out onto the concrete floor. "I want you to watch carefully, Adam. I want you to watch as the life fades from your precious Tommy's eyes…" Joshua hissed. Adam lifted his arms weakly, shoving at Joshua as hard as he could. It wasn't enough, for Joshua barely budged.

"Adam.." Tommy whispered, "Baby…" Adam could see a cut running across from his top lip down to his chin, dried blood clotting the wound.

"I could put a bullet between his eyes, you know… but that's too quick.. Merciful, even…" Joshua hissed in his ear, "No.. My dear, sweet Adam.." Joshua's hand curled around the back of his neck, pulling him away from the blond. Pain swept through his chest, making him choke a little as the venom in his system worked to seal the wounds; a slow going process due to the lack of blood in his body.

Pulled back some twenty feet from Tommy, Adam lifted his head weakly. He was panting softly as he stared across the floor at Tommy, pain wracking his body, blood pooling on the back of his tongue. He could see in his Glitterbaby's head the dream. The stained concrete floor and the darkness of the warehouse. The sunlight that would soon be coming. The gashes in his chest were a bit of a surprise, though.

Joshua stood, leaving Adam to sit weakly on his shins, his arms hanging in front of him, the sleeves of his shirt soaked with his blood. It pooled on the floor, another in front of Tommy where he had been. He watched with exhaustion pulling at him consciousness as Joshua walked over to Tommy. He turned, crouching beside the blond, looking back towards Adam.

"It's pathetic, really… He can't save himself and now he can't save you… Be thankful I'm granting you this opportunity to watch one another die. I could have chucked him outside and let you slip into darkness in here. But no. I'm going to let you watch him burn." Joshua whispered to the blond as he pressed the gun to the center of Tommy's chest. Adam's eyes widened a little.

"Don't…" Tommy whispered, looking over at Joshua.

"Don't?" The redhead inquired before chuckling softly. "No? Oh, well.." he muttered, looking over to Adam with a shit eating grin. "Too bad."

He pulled the trigger.


	36. I'm Sorry

Hey guys. This is it. This is the last chapter of The Sickness. I hope you guys have enjoyed it and I hope you stick around for the sequel called "Endlessly". :)**  
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**Early Sunday morning, 5:16 AM**

Joshua's words wrapped themselves around me like an ice cold blanket, numbing the burn of the bullet ripping through my chest and into the back of the chair I sat in. I gasped, the force of the shot pushing me back into my seat, dulling my senses long before the sound waves could reach my ears. The only thing I could hear was my heartbeat, and I wasn't even really hearing it. I was feeling it in my entire body; in my head, in my chest, my arms and legs; pretty much anywhere with a pulse point.

The redheaded vampire left my side, gliding across the concrete floor to where Adam was still kneeling and dying in front of me. He bent down, resting his hand on Adam's shoulder before whispering something into his ear. I could only see his lips moving for a few brief seconds before he pulled away, patting Adam's shoulder. He wandered down the length of the warehouse to a door on the northern wall, stepping through it before disappearing.

Adam lifted his gaze over to me, his body still as stone and soaked with blood. His skin was pale, ashy even. Dark circles under his eyes, a nasty gash in his lip from where Joshua had kicked him in the face. I choked softly, moaning in pain as he stared at me. His eyes were dark and heavy with regret, sorrow painting itself across his face. '_I'm sorry…_' He whispered into my head, exhaustion written clean as day in his expression. '_I'm so sorry, Tommy._'

Gasping softly, I blinked, trying to move and only successfully managing to make myself gasp again. My chest ached and the surrounding parts of my body were on fire. My shirt was slowly stained with crimson, and I could feel the blood running down my chest and stomach, warm from the wound, growing cold as it went. My hands were still bound behind my back, and I pulled at them, breathing hard. My heart pounded in my chest, working to get the blood moving through my system. But with each beat, I could feel another gush soaking my shirt.

"Oh, God…" I whispered when I heard a soft thump, and I turned my attention over to Adam. He'd fallen onto his back, his chest gleaming with claw marks and blood that smelled sickeningly sweet. I moaned, biting my bottom lip as I fought against the restraints again. They were still tight, burning against my wrists and chafing them raw. I tugged and tugged at them, desperately hoping that my hands would just slip through them and I'd be able to help Adam. "God…damnit!" I hissed.

Over my own panting and struggles, I could hear Adam wheezing softly, his hair tossed around his face as blood oozed slowly from his cuts. I bit my lip again, tears stinging my eyes as I choked on a scream mixed of pain and grief. I didn't want to die. I didn't want Adam to die, but both looked like very real possibilities at this point. Adam was bleeding out in front of me, and I in front of him. But with Adam, no doubt, it was much more painful. If he lost too much blood, the venom would start to burn away his body from the inside out. With me.. It was just a matter of time before my body lost too much blood to keep my brain and my heart functioning. I would pass into sleep, and sleep into death.

Adam would go out in screams.

Gritting my teeth, I tugged at the rope again. I flattened my palms, trying to slip them from the rope, but nothing was working. It was tight and strong around my wrists and I was weak with exhaustion and a bullet wound running between my lungs. I wasn't sure if Joshua was being cruel or merciful when he shot me clean through. No lungs damage, heart damage. He didn't even hit any bones, that I could tell. Perhaps it was both. Merciful in that I wouldn't feel my organs failing me. Cruel in that Adam had to watch with the scent of my blood clouding his senses.

"Baby…" I moaned, kicking my legs forward, scooting my chair a little bit. I heard a soft click followed by a buzzer over head, sounds I had not heard in my dream. But then again, not everything could be the same. The future was subject to change, right? Oh, God, what am I even saying? The future is subject to change, but I was foolish and walked right into the nightmare of what I had seen. Another buzzer sounded and there was a creak of metal gears turning, followed by the shift of the large warehouse door. A band of sunlight spread across the floor, stretching thicker and thicker as the door rose.

"Adam.." I hissed, staring at the stretching light, watching it roll across the floor. It seemed like time moved too slow, but the light was coming rapidly towards us. I looked away from the light and back to Adam, weak on the floor but staring at the light with wide, fearful eyes. He'd told me before that he'd never had sun exposure long, and whenever it happened he was well fed. He'd only known of the agonizing horrors from other vampires. I could see in his eyes the fear that he would know these horrors. And that he might not live past them..

"Adam! Baby, come, you gotta get out of the light…" I told him, but the only other room in the warehouse was the one Joshua and Alex had disappeared into, and the entrance to that room was already bathing in the sunlight of the dawn. Whimpering quietly, I tugged at the ropes again, working all the muscles I could to rip the rope free. My chest ached and my shoulders burned from being pulled back like this. Gasping for breath, I tried again.

I watched as the sunlight washes over Adam. And, just like in my dream, it started at his legs before hitting his wounded chest and face. His expression crumpled from discomfort to raging pain and he curled in on himself a little, whimpering and moaning in pain. I gasped softly, tears pooling and falling from my eyes as he screamed in blood-curdling pain. Cracks that look black as charred flesh would start to rip open in his hands, arms and along his neck. The claw marks in his chest bubble with venomous blood, turning black as well.

The light stretched on, tickling my bare feet before crawling up my legs, my chest and hitting my face, blinding me. Squinting, I turned away, feeling a prickling and burning sensation in my chest. Hissing softly, my mind flashed back to all the times Adam had bit me, and that his tongue had sealed the wounds. Sealed with venom. Crying out, I pulled at the rope again as Adam thrashed on the ground before me.

"Adam!" I called, "Adam, please!" But it was no use. He couldn't hear me. In his rage, Adam flopped over in pain, trying to curl himself away from the garish light of the morning, covering his head with his cracked and charred hands. His skin was turning black and ashy, crumbling away like chipped marble and stone. The layers beneath looked like ash.

"Adam!" I shouted, tugging so hard at the ropes that my chair fell forward, and I collapsed onto my shoulder. Groaning softly, I kicked at it, thankful that Joshua had been kind enough not to tie my wrists to the chair itself. I found it to be difficult to crawl across the floor with my hands tied behind my back. The concrete rubbed against the bullet wound and I grimaced, fighting the urge to just curl up and let Death take me. I needed to get to Adam.

"Aaahhh!" Adam screamed, trembling and shaking. The smell of blood and venom was thick in the room, growing more and more putrid as I neared him. He rolled back onto his back, beating his fists into the concrete, clawing at it even before rolling over again. Groaning, I pushed myself closer, trying not to watch as the cracks stretched and burned their way up over his face.

Gasping for breath, I managed to pull myself up to my knees, hurrying over to Adam as fast as I could. Sweat gathered in my hairline as I knelt close to Adam, turning away from him a little. He was thrashing with his arms extended and hands curled into clawing-ready position. I bit my lip, hearing him rolling back to me before I felt those claws swiping over my lower back, gripping into the rope around my wrists. I hissed in pain, the rope loosening around my wrists as Adam tugged, ripping it free and sending me sprawling over him.

Groaning, I rolled him back towards me so that he rested flat, facing the ceiling. I straddled his hips, turning his face away from the sun. I lowered myself over him, tucking my face against his neck, hiding his head with mine. Taking his hands, I slid them under my stomach, covering them and his arms as I curled myself over him. He stopped thrashing, but he was still in pain, trembling and twitching.

Whimpering, I held tight to Adam, squeezing my eyes shut. His skin was cold, colder than ever before. But the cracks were hot. They sizzled, even, when I listened hard enough. Clenching my jaw, I pressed a kiss to Adam's neck, wrapping my arms around him, shaking with tears as the sunlight pooled over us. We were going to die, that I knew. We were going to die and there was nothing we could do. If I uncovered Adam, the sun would kill him. If I didn't move, I would die and the venom in his body would rot him away. No matter what I tried to think of, it always ended in one conclusion: death.

"God, Adam.." I wheezed quietly, pain spreading like fire through my body. Adam moaned beneath me as I palmed my hand on his cheek, covering as much of his skin as I could from the light before turning him back, kissing him hard. I could taste blood on his tongue, and I wasn't sure if it was Adam's or mine, but at that moment I didn't care. All I cared about was that this was our last kiss. This was my last chance.

"Adam, baby, listen to me.." I told him, watching his eyes flutter open just a little bit. He looked up at me, his eyes soft and lax with exhaustion and the death that was upon him. My heart clenched in my chest and I kissed him again. "I love you, Adam. I love you so, so much. More than anything. More than life and death. I love you…" I whispered, finding it hard to stay awake. "I will never let you go…"

There was a moment of silence as I relaxed against Adam. It was getting harder and harder to breathe. The sun was hot against my back as I pressed myself closer to him, shivering lightly. Between the sunlight and the iciness of Adam's body, I found myself gradually getting colder as the moments passed. I couldn't find myself to mind, though. I didn't want to die, by any means, but all the same I wouldn't.. mind.

I let out a soft breath, resting my head against Adam's shoulder. Breathing lightly, I felt his hands curling themselves into the fabric of my blood-soaked shirt, pulling me closer to him. I sighed into his neck, my eyes slipping shut. I felt tired. More tired than I'd ever been before. I felt like I could just close my eyes and go to sleep, hibernate like a bear in winter and wake for the spring. Deep down, though, I knew the reason for this exhaustion, and I wanted to be afraid. But I wasn't.

"I love you, too, Tommy.." Adam whispered, his voice hoarse and raspy from screaming. I moaned quietly into his shoulder, my eyes fluttering a little. "Stay with me, baby.. hold on…" He told me, and I groaned. I didn't want to. I wanted to sleep.

"No.." I whispered. "I'm tired.. I'm so…cold.." Adam shifted, groaning softly.

"Hold on, Tommy. Just.. hold on. Hold on, baby, for me.." Adam's voice sounded like he'd been chewing and swallowing glass all day. I groaned quietly, the edges of my vision going fuzzy and black. What was there to hold onto? "Stay with me, baby… Stay— Lynn!" Adam called, but it sounded distant to my ears. "Lynn!"

"Adam.." I moaned, my hands clutching weakly at him. Everything felt cold and tight. I couldn't keep my eyes open anymore, so I let them slide shut.

"Stay with me, Tommy… I'm here, just… baby? Baby?"

~.~.~

When Tommy stopped responding, Adam began to freak.

"Lynn!" Adam shouted again as best as he could, trying to keep himself hidden behind Tommy from the sunlight. It was warm, that was for sure, but the parts of Tommy that he could reach without exposing himself to the light were growing cold. Adam bit down on his bottom lip, feeling the sunlight tickling and burning the side of his neck and part of his face, but he didn't dare budge for fear of rolling Tommy off of him.

There was a rush and small hiss of pain as Lynn came to his side, her skin pearly white and glowing in the light. She had a kill in her stomach that was keeping her healthy, but the sunlight was still burning into her skin, and the discomfort was clear on her face. Another flash and a young vampire with shoulder length brown hair, a rusty-colored strip running through it, came to their sides, helping to pull Adam and Tommy both into the small room, out of the light.

Groaning softly, Adam held tight to Tommy as best as he could until the four of them were out of the burning warmth, the door slammed and locked shut by Lynn. There were no windows in this room, the darkness of it greeting Adam's seared flesh like a cool kiss of spring rain at midnight. Lynn hurried back over to them and helped roll Tommy off of Adam's chest, laying him down on the floor as Vix propped the singer into an upright position against the couch.

"Good God, Adam.." She whispered, staring at his chest. Adam swallowed a lump of pain, grimacing a little bit as he looked down. The claw marks looked better, but they were ashy and dark from the light, the trickle of Tommy's blood only having done so much for him. He turned his head away as Vix grabbed a large duffle bag from its place beside the desk. He could smell blood within the denim material and looked to her as she pulled out a thick bag, about the size of his hand with his fingers spread wide, filled with equally thick blood.

"Here," she said, holding a corner to his mouth. Adam bit into his, sucking greedily on the contents as Vix held it close. Some dribbled down his chin and stained his shirt, but he couldn't find it within himself to care. This shirt was trashed beyond all reason anyway, what good was it to care for a little more blood on it?

The young brunette helped Adam drink another four bags worth, tossing the empty baggies to the side. The wounds began to heal and close, but it was slow and painful. Adam groaned softly as Vix licked at the burns and cracks in his neck and arms, reaching all the exposed skin that she could. "There, that should be able to help. How are you feeling, Adam?" She asked, palming his face gently. Part of him felt bad, really. She had been changed when she was only twelve or thirteen, and thus would retain her youth for all eternity. In truth, though, she was older as a vampire than he was as a human-turned-vampire. And yet she played the younger sister perfectly.

"Better," Adam groaned softly. It was true, he was feeling better, considering he'd felt that he was going to die for the past ten minutes. But his concern wasn't on himself. He turned his head, looking over to Tommy. "..H-how is he?" He asked, almost fearful.

"He's slipping. He doesn't have much time." Lynn said quietly, ripping his shirt open to clean the blood away. "The bullet went right through, didn't hit anything; no bones, no organs. Just a lot of muscle and blood…" Adam bit down on his lip, groaning loudly at the burns and cracks still healing in his skin.

"How much time?" He whispered, pulling himself closer. Lynn went silent, throwing up walls in her mind to keep Adam out. Growling, Adam raised his voice.

"How. Much. Time?"

"Less than a few minutes. Two at most." Adam hissed, glancing down at Tommy. The blond looked so peaceful, like he was sleeping. Reaching out, Adam touched Tommy's face generally, whimpering quietly at how cold he felt.

"God…" Adam whispered, withdrawing his hand. He couldn't lose Tommy, he just couldn't… He would never forgive himself..

"Adam… You can save him, you know." Lynn said gently, looking over at him with hard eyes. Adam glanced up at her, inhaling deeply. There was a phantom memory of a pulse racing in his chest and he shook his head, feeling it disappear as he looked away from her.

"No, I will not subject him to this, Lynn. This isn't a life worth having." He said harshly, watching her frown from the corner of his eye.

"Adam… There isn't any other way. If you want him to live, you have to do this!"

"No! I won't change him! I won't take away his humanity!" Adam shouted as loud as he could, his voice cracking and giving out a little with pain.

"Then you will watch him die. He's barely holding on, Adam. He's fighting, but he doesn't have much time. And if you let him, that guilt that's floating around up there in your head is gonna spread like a wildfire and there will be nothing you can do to stop it. You can change him and save him while he's still alive. Or you can wither away knowing you let him die out here, because you know as well as I do that you can't reanimate the dead…"

Biting his lip, Adam stared hard down at Tommy. Dark circles lined the undersides of his eyes and his skin was pale, his lips faded in their rose color to that of a dead flower petal, bleak and exhausted. Reaching out, Adam caressed the side of Tommy's cheek, feeling the cold skin beneath his touch. Lynn was right. If he let Tommy die, he would never forgive himself. He would never love anyone else, either. But if he changed Tommy, he would take away a world of opportunities. Opportunities that he would never have, either.

Lifting the blond into his arms, Adam sat back against the edge of the couch, caressing his cheek tenderly. He didn't want to do this. But all the same he couldn't lose Tommy. He couldn't.. Clenching his jaw, Adam bent his head and pressed a hard kiss to Tommy's lips, wishing for them to mold against his, but they didn't. They were still and cold, and the only thing reassuring Adam that the blond was still even alive was the soft, weak thrum of his heart against Adam's palm.

"I love you," Adam whispered, "You're gonna be okay…" He promised, running his fingers through Tommy's hair. He didn't stir or make a sound.

Inhaling deeply, Adam shifted the blond in his arms, tilting his head to the side before running his fingers down the length of Tommy's neck, feeling for the pulse. It was faint and weak, but he found it none the less. Swallowing the lump in his throat, Adam pressed his lips to Tommy's skin, kissing it tenderly for a moment before opening his mouth, biting gently. Taking another breath, he sunk his teeth into Tommy's flesh.

He didn't drink, though. There was not enough blood in Tommy's system to enjoy, and if he did drink, it would just kill Tommy faster. Instead he sank deeper, letting the venom flow from his fangs before he moved his mouth away, sealing the bite mark with a quick swipe of his tongue.

Grabbing onto Tommy's wrist, he bit into the pulse point, releasing venom in his veins before repeating the process on his other wrist, followed by his ankles. Tommy's face was twisted into discomfort, but Adam ignored it, knowing that the blond was conscious enough now to feel the burn of being changed. Adam felt a twist of guilt curling his stomach; unlike himself, Tommy was forced to take the slow path of change due to the lack of blood in his system.

Tommy groaned softly, and Adam shifted, pressing a cold kiss to Tommy's chest, just above his heart. He could feel it skipping beats from pain, but it was beating. It was beating faster than before, though weaker. Swallowing the lump of fear from his throat, Adam bit down into the skin, venom dripping from his fangs and directly into the veins above Tommy's heart. The blond hissed, his eyes fluttering open as he gasped. Sealing the wound, Adam looked up at him, watching agony swirling in his eyes.

"Baby…" Adam whispered, cupping his face as Tommy began to tremble and twitch, groaning and hissing softly. "Baby, it's okay. It's okay, relax, it'll be over soon, I promise. I—" he was cut off when Tommy screamed, loud and guttural with pain. Biting his lip, Adam crawled up onto the couch, pulling Tommy into his arms. Lynn and Vix were sitting on the floor, leaning against the wall, watching with concern as well as hope as Tommy writhed in Adam's arms.

Locking an embrace close and snug around Tommy's body, Adam squeezed his eyes shut as Tommy jerked and trembled in his hold, his skin sweaty and hot. He tucked the blond's face into his neck, pushing away his regrets for doing this to Tommy while he shivered. He couldn't take it back now. He couldn't make this stop for Tommy. As much as he wanted to make the pain go away, all he could do was block out his baby's muffled cries of pain, whispering "I'm sorry" into his sweaty skin.


End file.
